What is the slowest looking / most granny hatchback?

bastomatic wrote:

I had a crazy dream once about one of these with burly box flares and a sort of flipped-around DSM drivetrain in it. Engine behind the seats, transfer case pointing forward and a prop shaft going to the front wheels. Keep it Honda powered; the reverse rotation engine mates to the backwards-mounted transmission so you still go forward. No, I have no idea if that's even possible to make work.

I have to track down the guy who sold me that acid.

9 second Metro shape?

http://youtu.be/j89gCCuA57o

Wherever I go...Yugo.

Did somebody say Pony?

Plymouth GT/Fire Arrow (2 door version of the Pony) was available with the 4G63. It was 108 HP in a 2000 lb car.

Most hatchbacks out there seem to say "broke college student" instead of "granny." An impossibly pristine '80s hatch might get the right image, though, at least in the Southeast. May be worth considering for disguise value - a set of bumper stickers from local bands or art shows might give it a good broke college student vibe.

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the Chevy Citation yet. There's also the Chevette.

The other problem is that for most of these cars listed, if I actually see one driving around up here in New England, I sort of expect it to have had some interesting motor swapped into it. Otherwise, why the hell would someone still be driving it?

ford fiesta in pink + ls2 swap?

Taiden wrote: ford fiesta in pink + ls2 swap?

I know it's not exactly lightweight, but I think a faded old beige Volvo 240 wagon with a bunch of hippie bullE36 M3 stickers on the back of it and a 5.0 swap with a quiet exhaust could be a lot of fun around here .

Josh wrote: The other problem is that for most of these cars listed, if I actually see one driving around up here in New England, I sort of expect it to have had some interesting motor swapped into it. Otherwise, why the hell would someone still be driving it?

Hyundai Accents seem to be more common in the hands of teenagers and college students around here, but they're something nobody expects to be fast and should be relatively rust free even in New England.

Tercel EZ or Dodge Colt E.

Best part about 3rd gen tercels is that the unibody is part early fwd corolla which means that 4age fits properly!

My friend has a 96 accent with 10psi , it's pretty peppy

In reply to MadScientistMatt:

Even plastic rusts in New England!

belteshazzar wrote: isn't there an old hyundai hatchback that takes a 4g63 with little or no extra work?

Elantra of this vintage.

Not sure if they were sold in the US, or under what name, but the Korean market "Credos" has a 4g63 stock. No turbo of course.

not a hatchback or light weight

granny/ sleeper, yup

All hail the beige clad queen of frump. ^^

This:

With 3SGTE power from an MR2 Turbo / Celica alltrac?

im pretty sure those elantras had the 4g63, maybe it was the 4g61, but i know for a fact i've seen mitsu heads under those hoods from the factory before.

The later Geo Metros.

This is a promotional picture, and observe how lame it looks.

In reply to MitchellC:

I believe that with the right mods those could look cool. As that thing sits, yes, it is horribly lame. A +1 wheel upgrade, lowered a little, in some other color and it'd be a good start. Maybe.

pres589 wrote: In reply to MitchellC: I believe that with the right mods those could look cool. As that thing sits, yes, it is horribly lame. A +1 wheel upgrade, lowered a little, in some other color and it'd be a good start. Maybe.

My buddies My sons Mine

I love that body style.

For a good sleeper, it's gotta blend in. Most of the old hatches y'all recommend are so old they don't camouflage well with modern stuff. Though I think the geo would.

Joey

im pretty sure those elantras had the 4g63, maybe it was the 4g61, but i know for a fact i've seen mitsu heads under those hoods from the factory before.

92-95 Elantra = 4G61 or 4G67

92-98 Sonata = na 4G63

I think for "granny" looking you want to go to a small wagon.

My grandmother drove a Subaru DL for a decade. In pale yellow. I drove it for a few weeks at one point and it was the slowest thing I've ever been in during my lifetime.

Or perhaps like a Chevy Celebrity wagon (did they make one, they must have)? My other granmother had a Celebrity for nearly 20 years.

Or for newer, an early 90s Accord wagon.

Has anyone mentioned Saturn? DId they have a hatchback?

Ford Fairmont wagon (or it's sister wagons). RWD Fox chassis. Basically, what fits a 79-04 Mustang chassis will fit the fairmont. You can even get them with fake wood grain siding. They are relatively light considering they are a wagon.