Mark Martin has enjoyed a heck of a NASCAR career: 49 Xfinity wins, 40 Cup wins and five IROC championships. He also has five class wins at the Rolex 24 At Daytona.
Martin’s recent Reddit AMA discussed racing plus other topics. Some of our favorite questions:
And this is why I went to journalism school.
Take the single big duck. You're still gonna get waxed, but there's a better chance it loses interest during the beatdown once you mostly stop moving.
In reply to JG Pasterjak :
I wonder if the big duck has the advantage of shock and awe. Or are you screwed either way?
I don't have an opinion on the Ryan Newman/duck thing but I know I wouldn't want to fight Mark Martin. He's tiny but he's also solid muscle. He shook my hand once and damn near broke it.
I'd take the 10 duck size Ryans.
For the duck-sized Ryan Newmans, I'm picturing something like this. Either way, frightening.
JG Pasterjak said:Take the single big duck. You're still gonna get waxed, but there's a better chance it loses interest during the beatdown once you mostly stop moving.
This guy ducks.
I am going to weight in and say 10-Newman sized ducks. My reasoning: Bone structure of a Newman-sized duck is going to be significant. Also, 10 ducks means 10 turduckens. Also also, I don't want to deal with Newman-sized piles of duck crap.
What if the Newman-sized duck ended up with similar muscle and bone structure to an ostrich? Yeah, I'm definitely going with the 10 duck-sized Newmans here.
Yeah but you can take on what, maybe three mini-newmans at one time? That's a lot of newmans left over to go for your soft bits.
With the big duck, it's still not going to be pretty, but at least you have the potential to dodge a bit and pick your attacks. It's going to have some straight-line speed, but they don't cut particularly well on the ground, so it's going to be a lot like a bullfight. Biggest thing you'll have to worry about it getting wing-bashed, so you'll need to leave some extra margin when he comes at you and you attempt to dodge. The goal would be to get behind him and get on his back and try to wrap the neck up, and get your legs around the body and wings. The problem there, though, is you'll never be able to contain the neck, wings and legs all at once on a duck that size, so you're going to have to get yourself in a position where he can't get the legs to you or it's going to be over in a hurry.
Also, a Newman-sized duck is going to be considerably lighter than a Newman-sized Newman, so you'll have some mass advantage. But the legs are strong AF, so if you do manage to get on his back and get him wrapped up, you're in for a ride.
I'm leaning towards a Newman sized duck. The actual Newman is a tough and stubborn son of a gun and also pretty much solid muscle and smart as a whip. I think even in duck size 10 of him would be formidable.
I wish I could like the Reddit thread, but for Obvious Reasons...
I've gotta try that lasagna thing.
In reply to stafford1500 :
This is incredibly well thought-out. Seems logical to me.
I reject the premise, because it's virtually impossibly for a duck of any size to have a neck as wide as Ryan Newman's.
In reply to Woody (Forum Supportum) :
But then do you have one or two lasagnas?
Also, thank you Cassie for the tip. Fun on a bun.
So exactly who's alcohol fed idea was it to equate Ryan Newman and ducks together?
SKJSS (formerly Klayfish) said:So exactly who's alcohol fed idea was it to equate Ryan Newman and ducks together?
Some genius. That's who.
10 duck sized Ryans for sure. Easy to dispose of.
Its like the age old question: How many 5 year olds could you take? The answer is way higher than 10.
David S. Wallens said:In reply to Woody (Forum Supportum) :
But then do you have one or two lasagnas?
At the end of the day, I would have less lasagna than I started with.
I wasn't expecting to learn Mark Martin is a Gucci Mane fan.
I need a reality show of those two hanging out.
When I was about 10 years old, I wrote to all my favorite NASCAR drivers. Mark was the only one to respond, sending me autographed pictures that I still have today. He's the man.
Saron81 said:When I was about 10 years old, I wrote to all my favorite NASCAR drivers. Mark was the only one to respond, sending me autographed pictures that I still have today. He's the man.
That's all kinds of awesome.
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