advice on coaching pee-wee soccer

i'm in my third week as assistant coach for my daughter's 5- and 6-year old soccer team. anyone here ever seen soccer at that age? half the kids are picking clover, and the other half are clustered around the ball trying to kick the E36 M3 out of it in whatever direction they're facing, even when someone on their team already has it.

i'm an engineer, and i'm big on sportsmanship. so i want them to pass the ball, only cover their assigned area of the field, don't run up the score, etc. in today's game, in the 3rd quarter, we're up by 3 and i'm telling my kids to pass. now, i've been telling my kids to pass all game long. but the opposing coach chooses this time to tell me that i'm patronizing his team by telling my kids to pass instead of shoot. no, i just don't want to be the coach who runs up the score on a bunch of little kids who may get discouraged and quit playing the game after having their asses handed to them.

i tried to talk to him about it during the game, and he started complaining about me keeping my best players in the game, not giving each kid equal time at every position, etc. maybe because i had only used 3 keepers up to this point, i'm not sure. then he points out that #32 on my team (who unbenounced to him is my daughter) hasn't played in the second half. i point out that she played defense for the entire first quarter and then played keeper for the entire second quarter, and she hadn't played in the 2nd half because she wasn't feeling well. i did not point out that his team didn't score in the first half.

after the game i tried to talk to him, to let him know that i believe i am responsible to teach my kids the fundamentals of the game, and he tells me that's what practice is for, and that during the game we should just let every kid score as much as they want because that's what they're out here for. then he starts bitching at me for not giving each kid exactly the same amount of playing time, saying "if that's how you choose to coach your team..."

so, the question is: at what age do kids begin to understand sportsmanship? or, at what age to kids begin to realize that they just got their asses kicked? am i wrong to make my best goal-scorers play defense after they've each scored two goals and it's obvious that the other team's defense can't stop them?

i'm conflicted because on one hand i believe kids need to learn that sometimes they get their asses kicked. OTOH i remember how bad it felt to be on the losing end, so when my team is leading i don't want them to blow the other team out.

maybe he's right and at this age they don't know the difference. but it really bummed me out that he thought i was being a dick for trying to get my kids to pass the ball.

Be a jerk. Kids these days need more spine!

I coached soccer for this age group for a few years, as well as indoor soccer, roller hockey, and minor hockey from ages 7 to 16.

To answer your questions, IMO, they won't understand sportsmanship for awhile yet, possibly 3 to 4 years. At this age, they don't care that they got their asses kicked. They will have forgotten about it by the time they get in the car for the ride home, but even if they remembered, at that age, it doesn't mean much to them. Never hold your players back because they're too good. You're punishing them because they're good at what they do. It's sports. One team is going to win, and one is going to lose. I've been on both sides of the score, and it's a part of the game.

The most important thing I learned over the years, is that recreational sports is for fun. Being mad, in conflict, or just generally miserable is not fun for anybody. Play EVERYBODY equally, don't over coach them (that's not fun for either of you) and stress constantly that the reason you are all there to have fun.

I think the best thing you can do is ignore that other coach. Just smile, and nod the next time he opens his mouth. If it wasn't for him, you probably would have felt good about the game.

I don't often find myself agreeing with ZW, but I think he's nailed it. I've got no soccer experience, but my oldest has been in baseball/teeball for four years now, and my youngest for two. My wife is coaching the little guy's team this year.

Most kids that young don't pay a lot of attention to the score. The big thing is to keep it fun, regardless if they're winning or losing badly.

Some coaches are going to be cool folks, and some are going to be jerks. Don't let it affect your game plan, and don't let it get in the way of the kids having fun.

My best friend is in charge of all umpires in the area for CYC baseball. He is very strict and obviously deals with coaches quite a bit. (Getting to the point, I promise.) Certain coaches will tend to be a pain in the ass. Not just coaches either, get ready for parents to start giving you hell as well. Its just going to happen and you'll get used to it. He actually had a grandparent in a younger groups game try to rock the E36 M3 out of his head with a baseball bat. He reacted a lot better than I would have at that point. Theses sports people get pissed about anything and everything. My only advice, stay cool headed. You sound like you already are, so keep up the good work.

I've been coaching soccer for 16 years, including everything from state championship U17 teams down to 5 year olds. Was coaching 7 year olds today.

Zombie hit most of the points well, but let me emphasize a couple.

First of all, 5 & 6 year old have no idea what sportsmanship is, and don't care if they win or lose. They only care because their parents care. And snacks. They care about snacks.

Secondly, you took a big risk. A 3 point lead is no where near a blowout at that age. They can score that many by accident in less than 2 minutes. I once lost a game by holding back the team in the name of sportsmanship. I'll never do it again. I can't tell my players to play their best if their coach is not coaching his best. I won't intentionally run up the score, but I won't hurt the team by making them do anything less than their best. 3 points is not enough for me to dial it down. Maybe 8 or 10.

Thirdly, that other coach was a butthead. Expect many, many, many more of them. Don't try to reason with them, and don't let your team see you stoop to their level. It's like nailing Jello to the wall.

Fourthly, it is generally not considered good form to talk to an opposing coach during a game. It is the job of the officials to control the game, not the coaches. It is the job of the coaches to coach their teams. If another team's coach is acting irresponsibly, let the officials handle it. Especially in soccer. A coach can be red carded for challenging the authority of a ref, or for unsportsmanlike conduct. That will put you out for the rest of the game, and in some leagues the next 2 games. If you are handling a personality problem with the coach of another team, you are not coaching your team.

You mentioned passing. This is one of the best lessons at this age, but most coaches do it wrong. Do NOT teach kids to pass to their team mates. Teach them to pass to an open area of the field, and make their team mates chase it (in the right direction). It is a game of momentum- if the ball is already rolling in the right direction, half the battle is won. In older ages, this will be called leading the player with the pass. At this age the best thing you can do is to teach them to kick it to open spaces, not other players. Watch them- their natural instinct is to kick to other players, and it is wrong. They kick it directly at the goalie, in spite of 10' of empty goal. The goalie will kick a goal kick directly into a mass of bodies in the middle of the field instead of down the sidelines, and wonder why it bounces right back. Players will pass to each other, encouraging their team mates to settle the ball to a dead stop (perhaps even with their backs to the direction they are traveling) then they have to re-start the momentum. If you teach them to pass to each other, older coaches will need to re-train them when they are older to lead their team mates. Teach them to pass to empty areas of the field and it will all begin to come naturally.

Regarding "best goal-scorers playing defense"... it depends on your motivation. If your reason is to not run up the score then yes, it is wrong. Don't be a wuss. However, soccer is won with defense, not offense. The best, strongest, fastest, most selfless, aggressive visionary team leaders are defensive players. They win games. Strikers just shoot a couple of goals if they are lucky. If you are dropping them back to begin developing great defenders, then I wholeheartedly agree.

But mostly, have fun. If you are not, neither is your team.

HTFU! Just kidding. I read angry's post aloud to mrs. poop, as she's met the angry one, and I was all "AWWW E36 M3, this ain't gonna go well!" Anyway, I literally said aloud "Awww, that's sweet" when I read the part about keeping the score down. But berkeley that E36 M3. I know it's just a game, but the point of that game is to get the ball in the net. Let 'em berkeleying annihilate the other team, and feel good about what an awesome job they did.

Are you suggesting the Angry One is kinda soft??

I am suggesting that angry is thoughtful.

My experience is in hockey, not soccer, but I believe that it should transfer over quite well.

I've reffed kids this age in hockey quite a bit. ZW hit the nail on the head.

Let me put in a few points that haven't been mentioned or need more emphasis:

Don't have them pass for the sake of passing. Have them pass for the sake of moving the ball and getting better field position.

Don't talk to the other coach. Just don't. Nothing good can come of it in most cases.

Move the kids around (it sounds like you are already doing this). If you are up by 3, put your best players on defense, and your weaker players on offense. Usually, the better players will stop the goals for you, and it gives the weaker players a chance to score.

Thats all I got. Good luck, and kudo's to you for coaching. Oh, also, don't be a dick to the ref's.

ZW, i'd say you're at 85/15 now. thanks for the insight.

SVreX, you make many good points, especially about playing the ball into space. i never set out to be a coach, but i'm going to do some research on it because i can look back on my youth and count the number of good coaches i ever had on ONE finger. i need to learn how their minds work at that age, because i don't want to bring them down with too much with things that they just can't grok yet.

poopie, i'm glad you're still a non-smoker.

Poopie gave up cigarettes. He didn't give up smokin'!

Go Poopie!

mtn:

I don't know a thing about hockey, but I think a 3 point lead is bigger in hockey than it is in peewee soccer. Unless there are obvious other differences not reflected on the scoreboard (like through 3 full quarters they never moved the ball to our side of the field, or never took a shot on goal, or we've got a 4 armed gorilla in as goalie), 3 points is too early to back down.

When I coached a few years ago we had a former pro player and coach give new youth coaches a clinic. He said don't bother trying to teach positions. Just teach simple individual techniques in practice and in games just let them have fun. It'll be a herd with the ball squirting out in random direction every once in a while. No amount of coaching will get any other result. When they are young that all you can do. Try to just let them enjoy themselves and they may stick with it as they get old enough to really play the game.

scottgib wrote: When I coached a few years ago we had a former pro player and coach give new youth coaches a clinic. He said don't bother trying to teach positions. Just teach simple individual techniques in practice and in games just let them have fun. It'll be a herd with the ball squirting out in random direction every once in a while. No amount of coaching will get any other result. When they are young that all you can do. Try to just let them enjoy themselves and they may stick with it as they get old enough to really play the game.

I spent 5 years reffing youth soccer from 13-18 (stopped when I went to college). I've dealt with just about every kind of coach you can think of, good, bad, despicable (5 year old girls coach, actually) and everything in between. what scott said above and what most have pointed out is that FUN playing the sport is the most important thing you can achieve. other than that, everyone has great points about other objectives and ways to coach but the fact that you're there and care about what's best for the girls in the long run, and not just winning a game means you're doing great

i'm also going to steal that line about nailing jello to a wall, that's funny

SVreX wrote: mtn: I don't know a thing about hockey, but I think a 3 point lead is bigger in hockey than it is in peewee soccer. Unless there are obvious other differences not reflected on the scoreboard (like through 3 full quarters they never moved the ball to our side of the field, or never took a shot on goal, or we've got a 4 armed gorilla in as goalie), 3 points is too early to back down.

Probably true. A 3 goal lead is usually a safe lead in hockey.

SVreX wrote: Are you suggesting the Angry One is kinda soft??

Don't worry there are pills for that.