Family vacations.. Are they really this bad?

This is why I don’t take vacations.  

Dinner with my inlaws almost always has a blow up, I can’t imagine a vacation. Their move to Missouri can’t come soon enough. 

It's really just my wife, myself and my kids.  I don't have any family, my wife has just her dad and sister who both live 800 miles from us.  So it's just the 5 of us.  We just got back from a 17 day vacation to Disney World (unlike many of you, we love the place, especially me).  I couldn't fathom going on vacation with in laws, siblings, etc....no way, no how, not gonna do it.  My oldest is 14, so I know our days of "family vacation" will be coming to a close fairly soon.  I enjoy it while I can.

Dude, that wasn't a vacation. You were trapped in a rejected script for a National Lampoon road trip movie.

Seriously - sorry to hear it went that badly. Not much you can do besides learn from what didn't work, and eventually laugh at this one once it's remote enough to be funny.

If it's any comfort to you, I can recall a family vacation when I was six (cross country trip from Georgia to Yellowstone) where my parents only talk about how terrible the trip was, but it was a seriously awesome trip in my memory. Apparently I've forgotten the days we were trying to camp in pouring rain, which accounted for about 2/3 of the trip. Your kids may have fond memories of the good parts of this trip for the rest of their lives.

The answer is a whitewater rafting trip.  Everyone is together in one boat, soaking wet, paddling, maybe scared. 

Too much going on to be mad at each other. 

Then again  Miyamoto Musashi beat one of his opponents to death with a paddle.   Never mind.

In reply to jharry3 :

...Or a hunting trip. Cheney style.

This sounds like hell and the booze isn't helping.  Oh wait that's my life.

Your trip sounds like hell and the booze wasn't helping.

docwyte said:

3 days is a long enough time for most visits.  Much more than that and everyone just gets on each others nerves

My dad likes to say family is like fish, after three days it’s time to throw them out. 

On the plane home.   I’ll wrote more about the town I grew up in and how it became helll.  

In reply to Fueled by Caffeine :

I think this is one of those times you pour a big glassa of gin and as you sit down next to your dad look at him lovingly and say " You know pop, I'll probably be the one that picks out the nursing home you live out your life in."

In reply to Ovid_and_Flem :

I think he could stand to tell multiple people in this story that kind of thing.  Just don't scare the kid that lets it rip at the nearest sign of trouble / dairy.

In reply to Fueled by Caffeine :

Dang, was gonna say if you're around through Sunday , there's auto x in Harrisburg and you're more than welcome to co-drive my RX7.

The Museum of Bus Transportation isn’t far from Hershey, it’s impossible to have a bad time there. https://busmuseum.org/

I am sorry it’s not going better for you guys, some of my favorite childhood memories are of family vacations. I’m lucky that both my and the wife’s families are good people to be around so travel has always been fun. If anything I’m the shiny happy person that causes everyone else to drink and complain to their friends. 

I’m sorry to do this but given the location and kid issues I hope one of the other kids had the presence of mind to make a “Hershey squirts” comment and laugh at themselves.   I’ll see myself out.

If your kid has developed an intolerance to dairy, you should cut way back on it. He doesn't enjoy his intestinal problems any more than you do. I had lactose intolerance as a kid, and I had to get faster at running so I could make it to the toilet on time when "it's coming out my bum like a bullet from a gun".

my vacation left me with two things.

1. a cold.... thanks to not sleeping

2. a wart on my foot.  thanks to viruses..

My parents were out standing.

 They owned a camp on a lake with a nice beach

 They welcomed any family and friends.

I am purposely located as far from my family as physically possible. 

poopshovel again said:

In reply to jharry3 :

...Or a hunting trip. Cheney style.

Or combine them.

In reply to Fueled by Caffeine :

After multie attempts at family holiday we have found that renting a cabin on a lake in northern Michigan and having family join us on neutral ground is best. 

We leave Saturday for Traverse City and Intermediate Lake. I'll send pics 

In reply to QuasiMofo :

I will do this next time.. this was my thoughts exactly.

In reply to QuasiMofo :

That's the way to do it. 

"We'll be here, we're not leaving, we've got plenty of room, come join us." 

Seems to me that Hershey Park and all other theme parks (Disney included) were just made to make parents miserable. Best vacation for kids? A bunch of other kids that are of similar ages. Best vacation for adults? A bunch of other adults who are similar ages. Ha

In reply to Fueled by Caffeine :

Sorry the vacation was so bad. From what I read it sounds like you have a better plan for next time. Every family has their communication style. If they don't listen to you then have your wife have a short chat with them about what to do next time. IF they listen to their grandkids then have the grandkids plan out the trip schedule(with tips from you parental types). Much more likely for grandparents to be excited about honoring their word to their grandkids than their word to you. Avoid getting stuck in the recent past. Be open with them about how you want them to behave as grandparents. They haven't done it before they actually had grandkids. It is a different thing from parenting. 

Some of our family's best practices for the touchy relationships:

1. Plan a two night stay of the kids at the grandparents, grandparents must be off work for the days of and have a plan. Part of insuring there is a plan is focussing on side stuff like confirming what clothes the kids should wear or if they need sunblock/bugspray/waivers/etc. You and spouse are required to leave the kids and be alone together for at least 5 hours of the grandparent time. 
2. Spend the rest at a hotel where the kids at least have a pool available.
3. If you have to stay at the house then make it known that you and the kids will go get lunch every day and go to the nearest nice playground as a nuclear family. Grand parents can chill elsewhere. 
4. Ask your parents to meet you everywhere else that you go. So you can avoid any interaction relative to driving. 
5. For Hersey park or other amusement park, my Wife and I have an understanding that if it is a water park anything over 92 degrees is a cancellation. No water park then anything over 84 gets canceled.
6. Beaches and cabins and such are fine to go unless extreme weather (lightning, high winds etc.)

Again the list above is for the not so cozy relationships in my extended family. Cousins and uncles can slot in as best they fit to help bolster the organized fun. I have other family that I can just go into it all without any planning and we all have fun. 

All that said there are a couple family members that I just know to avoid extended time with period it is sad but that way I can stand to be in the room with them at all. 

You know my best family vacation memories as a kid were all about the journey and rarely about the final destination. Having lunch and never ending conversation at a road side cafe with 8+ of my cousins was incredibly fun. I couldn't even tell you where we were traveling to have the actual family vacation!

The best ever vacation was when one aunt and uncle had all of my Dad's side cousins over for about 5 weeks. We bonded and just played uno, walked to the mall, etc. Talking and spending time with the cousins was the vacation. I want to give my kids that, not the locations.