Help me fix my life, or tear it down, you decide.

In reply to Nick Comstock :

Nick, I can identify with your frustration. I too have had similar feelings. 40 is not too old to start something fresh, it just takes will power. I was a professional pilot for 17 years and I loved it. When I was 42 years old I berkeleyed it all up and lost my medical certificate due to  drinking beer and driving my pickup on a fishing trip. I took a job involving aviation insurance while trying to get my medical certificate reinstated. I was miserable, hated the job and saw no chance of flying again.  At age 44 I bought  a Spec RX-7 with a damaged cage with the intention of fixing it and racing. My first step was to learn to weld. I signed up for the introductory class at the local community college. I really  enjoyed it. So I took all of the courses that were offered. I made some good friends. A couple of younger guys and I started at the same time and we pushed each other hard and became the best students in the program. The director of the welding program also became a good friend and mentor to the three of us. He recognized a talent for teaching , that I was unaware that I had. While still a student he hired me to teach non credit welding classes at the college. I was nervous and uncertain when I started. 4 years later I have the best, most satisfying job that I can imagine. Many of my students come from troubled past, addiction, prison, abuse etc. Many have taken me aside and said that they have never had a teacher like me that takes the time to explain, tries to help and not put them down. A few said they only got in the program to stay out of jail and have since gone on to enroll in the college welding program with the intent of getting a bachelors degree in weld engineering. 

Find something you love and do it, it is never too late. I miss airplanes but this is the most satisfying job that I have ever had.

Good luck

Braden

MadScientistMatt said:

Nick Comstock said:

I don't think I want to go back to what I did before. I would just love to have some of those good attributes in my work. I don't think I'd make a good entrepreneur, I'm just not wired that way. I like to think I make a good soldier but I need marching orders.  

On the subject of what I would like to do. We are in the process of getting a new waterjet installed at work. Last week I disassembled and removed the old machine and moved the major pieces of the new machine into place. I really enjoyed that. The guys from the company are here now getting everything setup and calibrated. I could see myself doing that type of work. I have no idea what type of qualifications are required but that kinda is what spurred me to make this thread. I think something like that is what I should be doing. 

My advice there would be to look up machine tool manufacturers and see if they have any openings posted; check back regularly. I used to work for a machine tool company myself (Amada), but the crew I was with stayed at one of the tech centers and only went out on installation work with new or experimental components. The regular installation guys were assigned a particular region, but there is a lot of travel. Smaller, high sales volume machine tools might have a better odds of getting you home most days, though.

The suggestion of "split the difference between factory and construction work - be a maintenance technician" sounds like it could work, too.

Yep, machine tool people would snatch someone like you up in a heartbeat.   I'm in the manufacturing business, and a lot of those guys need people to deliver and setup machinery.  Talking to the waterjet guys would be a great start, but some other names to know and find your local reseller are Haas, Okuma, Mazak, Matsuura, Thermwood, etc.  Email me if you want more suggestions.  

I don't think it's possible to truly divest yourself from work & home as far as an overall person, since you spend 8+ hours a day doing it, 5 days a week.  Depending on how your pay is now, perhaps look at a career change?  Obviously I'm biased, but machining/CAM offers something you might be interested in.   A job comes in, it's up to you to figure out how to turn the chunk of material into a finished product using the machinery available.    There's an obvious path to progression (start with a machinist program at the local tech school > get hired as a operator > learn trade > come setup guy > learn basic machining > start some CAM/Programming > 3, 4 then 5 axis machining > $100k/yr+, and that's not even counting the robotics side!) and there's ALWAYS a challenge and at the end of the day, you've made a part that means something to someone!  How do I hold this part?  How can I machine this feature?  What's unique about this material that I need X type cutters?, etc. 

If you get bored of the trajectory, you can always jump ship to those machinery guys I was talking about before, where you'd be an Applications Engineer.  There'll be travel, but you basically go around to customers of that company and help them program tricky parts and set up production lines.

The other path would be through CMM/inspection once you know how stuff is made.

--------

On a personal note, a lot of us in the office go through this, because we used to be machinists and application guys.   We used to help a customer or complete an order and the part went away and we felt accomplished.  Now we're writing software and what someone said about office work being an endless treadmill is definitely correct.  There's always more to do and you can't ever empty the inbox.   I'm just lucky that I'm actually making a difference in customers' lives and have a bit of control of my area of the software, so it's not a grind.   If I wasn't, it would be soulcrushing.

alfadriver said:

mazdeuce - Seth said:

In reply to alfadriver :

As someone with a "soldier" personality, the prospect of creating my own side job sounds worse than working a job I don't like. I was always happiest showing up to work, asking a boss "what today?" and doing what I was told. Not sure if Nick is like that or not, but some of us are. 

If the side job was a chore, sure, nobody should want to do that.  What I'm suggesting is a side job that is more engaging and interesting.  One that is satisfies the need for some kind of creativity that seems to be missing in the normal job.

I honestly can't think of anything I could do to that end. I've thought long and hard about that for a while and have came up empty.

I am passionate about detailing vehicles. I absolutely love that. Something about the instant gratification. However I don't have the budget for supplies and tools. I only have an old rotary buffer and things have come a long way recently.  I also don't have a vehicle and I'd imagine it would be hard to get people to come to me.

Nick Comstock said:

Also I want to thank everyone for responding. That was tough to write but something got to give soon.

Send it my way. I'll run it through swmbo. Shes a wizard with that Ish. 

MadScientistMatt said:

You might also want to take up bicycling. I've recently gotten back into it myself. It's great stress relief and a lot cheaper than cars.

2nd the bicycle recommendation for anybody who likes riding and working on mechanical things.  If you have to stop riding the motorcycle, at least you still scratch that 2 wheel ride itch with a bicycle.  Or even running can work I guess, but yeah bicycle>youtube.  Working on them can be rewarding too, people throw them away all the time.  Even some good quality older ones which is a shame.  Great for low budget fun.

Some good advice here, for sure will use some of it myself..

There probably aren't many of us that haven't been where you are now.  I experienced a massive career change at 44.  I had been working in television for years, but when the economy went south about 10 years ago, so did my job.  After 6 months I landed a position doing internet technology for a mining technology company, only for it to be sold off and that position disappear.   One day a guy walked into my office and put a big book on my desk and said you are now in purchasing.  Fast forward 10 years and I am now supply chain manager.  I can't say its my favorite job I've ever had, but it pays far, far more than TV.  The point is, you never know where in life you end up, but make the best of whatever opportunities come along.

Given your experience in construction, I could also see something like home inspections.  I also know a guy that does seemingly small household jobs and makes a lot of money.  He does simple things for people like the elderly that cannot do them anymore.  There are a lot people looking for someone trustworthy to perform these tasks.  Think creatively, you probably have a lot more experience than you think you do.

I need to go fix my bike........

If any other good comes from this thread, it's knowing I'm not alone. Family aside, my thoughts are exactly the same as Nick's. 

Just this morning, as I read the opening post, I  texted SWMBO "I'm not stuipd. But this job makes me feel stupid."

I definitely be paying attention to this thread.

racerdave600 said:

Think creatively, you probably have a lot more experience than you think you do.

I can second this. My past experience really came in handy with recent certifications and tests. Experience, while not the magic sheet of paper from a college/university, is a great equalizer.

Can you still handle Handyman type jobs? 

Not that you're close enough to do it, but I have a few handyman tasks I need taken care of around the house. I could likely handle them myself, but I just don't want to.

For example, I need someone to get up in the attic and clean out the dryer vent that goes up the wall, through the attic, and vents under the eave outside. I need someone to clean out the chimney, and affix some type of wire mesh around the opening up top to prevent birds from getting back down inside ( I can hear them in the morning and evenings), and a few other similar type projects around the house.

In reply to Nick Comstock :

You've received good advice already.  When I read your post at the start of this thread, I felt like I could relate to a lot of it, although a lot of details are different.  Here's some thoughts and I do hope you remember to take them with a grain of salt.

This sounds like a mild case of depression.  I'm not saying you *should* seek professional treatment but it wouldn't be the worst thing either.  Definitely try to maintain good mental health habits to try and give yourself a better chance at being more comfortable with yourself and your situation.  I'm also not sure how "mild" this is for you.  Think about it.

I think you could really use a hobby and projects to have to look forward to when you're not at work.  Give yourself something new to learn or grow your knowledge in.  Look for online and in-person groups that are interested in the same thing.  Talk about it and share ideas.  

Look for a new job.  Really think about what you liked and didn't like about your last job (which you've started doing pretty well here already) and start shopping.  I agree that a job shouldn't define you but it's also something you spend a high percentage of your week doing.  If you feel little connection to the work, and success doesn't look like anything you can recognize and relate to for yourself, it's just a grind.  Where there people doing different roles at your old job that you thought sounded interesting or worthwhile positions to be in?  

Will keep watching this thread and hopefully some more good ideas come out of it.

Nick Comstock said:

I am passionate about detailing vehicles. I absolutely love that. Something about the instant gratification. However I don't have the budget for supplies and tools. I only have an old rotary buffer and things have come a long way recently.  I also don't have a vehicle and I'd imagine it would be hard to get people to come to me.

You'd be surprised, I think all you need to start a 'detailing business' is some rags, a portable vacuum, bucket, sponges/rags and shammy.  I'm not sure you even need your existing buffer.  I think there's a market for at home detailing.  If you spent two hours hand washing and cleaning a car I think your average car owner would be beyond delighted with the results.  If you really can't afford shampoo, polish etc. put the word out.  I don't know a single car guy who doesn't have a box of half finished or unused cleaning supplies that they would be happy to donate to a worthy cause, heck if you were near me you could come and pick some up.  $60-$100 (depending on area) for 2-2 1/2 hours of hand washing and detailing a car could be therapy and money for you while leaving many people speechless at how good their car looks.

On bicycless.  So so many bikes are cheap crap these days that are thrown together in the back room of a big box store they ride like crap so never get used then left out for trash pick up.  Grab some of those and spend a couple of hours cleaning, re-packing bearings with grease and a some care setting things up so it rides true, doesn't go click, clank, clonk down the road and I'm sure there's a market for them on Craigs list even at $50 a shot.

The great advantage for  both of these is close to zero set up costs and free advertising by CL and word of mouth.

Good luck.  Depression and despair suck, but there is a way out of it even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

I'm still at work, but I did take a look at your resume. Aside from making it current, you need to rewriter to focus on "accomplishments" instead of "responsibilities."

Example, my girlfriend is the Marketing Coordinator for a decent sized trucking company here in OKC (by the way, truck drivers make very good money), so instead of a resume line like:

- Responsible for creating, sharing, and monitoring all social media posts for XXXX company.

Something more like:

- Managed social media prescence while increasing engagement and reach by XXX % during YYYY time period. 

If that makes sense.

Adrian_Thompson said:

Nick Comstock said:

I am passionate about detailing vehicles. I absolutely love that. Something about the instant gratification. However I don't have the budget for supplies and tools. I only have an old rotary buffer and things have come a long way recently.  I also don't have a vehicle and I'd imagine it would be hard to get people to come to me.

You'd be surprised, I think all you need to start a 'detailing business' is some rags, a portable vacuum, bucket, sponges/rags and shammy.  I'm not sure you even need your existing buffer.  I think there's a market for at home detailing.  If you spent two hours hand washing and cleaning a car I think your average car owner would be beyond delighted with the results.  If you really can't afford shampoo, polish etc. put the word out.  I don't know a single car guy who doesn't have a box of half finished or unused cleaning supplies that they would be happy to donate to a worthy cause, heck if you were near me you could come and pick some up.  $60-$100 (depending on area) for 2-2 1/2 hours of hand washing and detailing a car could be therapy and money for you while leaving many people speechless at how good their car looks.

 

On bicycless.  So so many bikes are cheap crap these days that are thrown together in the back room of a big box store they ride like crap so never get used then left out for trash pick up.  Grab some of those and spend a couple of hours cleaning, re-packing bearings with grease and a some care setting things up so it rides true, doesn't go click, clank, clonk down the road and I'm sure there's a market for them on Craigs list even at $50 a shot.

 

The great advantage for  both of these is close to zero set up costs and free advertising by CL and word of mouth.

 

Good luck.  Depression and despair suck, but there is a way out of it even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

Buffer comes in really handy to do polishing and paint correction. 

And you have to be able to do paint correction to do the big ticket items like Ceramic Coating. But you can build up to that. 

mazdeuce - Seth said:

I need to go fix my bike........

I keep watching bmx videos, and a friend of a friend keeps passing me mid school E36 M3 on cl I used to ride. Want is strong. 

Porter-Cable polisher, velcro backing pad, assortment of pads, compound, polish, wax etc. oughta run ya around $250 all in. Clay bar kits are around $20 at FLAPS. Big difference over a hand wash and wax. Depends on what extent your customer wants.

The P-C polisher is great to have around but not always necessary, mostly use on the top surfaces as hood, roof, deck lid on neglected paint. Great time saver and should pay for itself quickly.

In reply to fasted58 :

I've got about $30 a week spending money. 

In reply to Nick Comstock :

I've got a brand new polisher, some pads and auto wax/polish I could send you to help get you started.

I don't like detailing, so I've never used it.

Seconding the comment that machine setup and installation is a high-travel job.  Running the machines is a career that keeps you closer to home.

Speaking as aCNC mill programmer on a considerably lower level than the 5axis >100K a year example above,  it's a stratified career with clear steps along the way.

Operator is the guy that comes in with little to no eperience, but gets to work the 40 hours the company needs and little more..

Set-up/programmer needs a bit of experience, but usually gives the most sense of accomplishment in terms of getting something tangible finished with your own hands.

The next phase puts you heading back towards the office end of the spectrum, as it involves managing a group of operators, and handling the workflow.

It seems like you are experienced enough to move up to the middle of that range quickly if you are motivated enough and don't get lost in the precision being higher than carpentry/construction.

In reply to Stefan :

That's an extremely generous offer. I wouldn't feel right accepting it though. Plus I still need to figure out what direction I want to go. 

Seems like I'm in a little chicken and egg type scenario. Am I unhappy because I have a sucky job or do I feel like I have a sucky job because I'm unhappy? Is it mainly a money thing?  I don't know. The more I think about it the less sure I get.

I did speak to the Flow guys today. They said it's on the job training and they are looking for people than they feel can get off the ground quickly. They said they mainly like to hire ex military for that reason. And they are looking for people right now. I imagine those guys are in the road more than they are home though. One guy was from Florida the other from Massachusetts.

I need to have a talk with my wife before I commit to doing anything. I think she's perfectly happy with things as they are. 

travellering said:

Seconding the comment that machine setup and installation is a high-travel job.  Running the machines is a career that keeps you closer to home.

Speaking as aCNC mill programmer on a considerably lower level than the 5axis >100K a year example above,  it's a stratified career with clear steps along the way.

Operator is the guy that comes in with little to no eperience, but gets to work the 40 hours the company needs and little more..

Set-up/programmer needs a bit of experience, but usually gives the most sense of accomplishment in terms of getting something tangible finished with your own hands.

The next phase puts you heading back towards the office end of the spectrum, as it involves managing a group of operators, and handling the workflow.

 

It seems like you are experienced enough to move up to the middle of that range quickly if you are motivated enough and don't get lost in the precision being higher than carpentry/construction.

Honestly, that sounds an awful lot like what I'm doing now. I run a CNC saw, a sasso edge profiling machine and the above mentioned water jet. I don't program anything just run, maintain and repair the machines. I'm not too enthusiastic about the prospects of doing more of the same. 

I have a used PC polisher that needs new pads that was given to me that I can loan you until I ned it back if that's more your speed. 

fasted58 said:

Porter-Cable polisher, velcro backing pad, assortment of pads, compound, polish, wax etc. oughta run ya around $250 all in. Clay bar kits are around $20 at FLAPS. Big difference over a hand wash and wax. Depends on what extent your customer wants.

The P-C polisher is great to have around but not always necessary, mostly use on the top surfaces as hood, roof, deck lid on neglected paint. Great time saver and should pay for itself quickly.

Harbor Freight's 6" DA is $70 before any coupons and gets really good reviews from a number of detailers of various types. I've been satisfied with mine thus far. Pads are $4 apiece if you're part of their rewards club. For a guy on a tight budget who's just starting out, you could do a lot worse.

Nick Comstock said:

travellering said:

Honestly, that sounds an awful lot like what I'm doing now. I run a CNC saw, a sasso edge profiling machine and the above mentioned water jet. I don't program anything just run, maintain and repair the machines. I'm not too enthusiastic about the prospects of doing more of the same. 

Are you interested in making the machines dance instead of just watching them?  Take a night course on machining/cam programming.  The local tech school that I work with has something like a 95% placement for their certificate program.

If you want to see what the cam side looks like, let me know.  I'll jump on gotomeeting with you and show you.

Travellering - let me know if you're ever interested in stepping up to multiaxis, I'd be happy to give you an overview of the thought process to help you get a leg up.

Nick, you may not be interested at all but I like the bicycle idea. It would give you an escape that doubles as physical activity/exercise. An outlet for you to blow off steam in a healthy way. It seems like an easy way to set goals (riding a certain distance, time, etc), and then feel the sense of completion and accomplishment that you enjoyed about the previous job.

I think that Adrian's suggestion of flipping bikes could be an easy way to make a little extra cash if you think that a bit more money would help your situation. However, if feeling good about something, and having a purpose is more important than money I think tweaking his idea could be very cool. It would be exceptional to put out the word that you're taking donations of old bicycles, and then clean/repair them and donate them to needy kids in your area. Sort of like a charity. It could keep you occupied, and really give you a purpose. You'd get to feel that sense of accomplishment bringing old bikes back from the brink, and the satisfaction of helping people could really provide a boost for you too. You mentioned the appreciation that you felt from satisfied customers at the old job, just imagine how you'd feel giving disadvantaged kids their own bikes. Giving back is really good, and when you start you'll find that good things probably start to happen in your own life as a result. I'd imagine some people would be very willing to help out however they could.