Just now I saw my brother at the grocery store

He is married and has two very bad ass daughters aged 16 and 10. It was 915 pm I was buying a case of Peroni beer. He had a sack of tampons and chocolate bars. I'm considering asking him over for a beer or two after work, before he goes home tomorrow. Do you all think that it is a good idea?

Edit

Do you think that he would appreciate it?

Yes. 

I don’t see why not.

No sleep podcast twist: his brother passed away 10 years ago. 

I'm very confused. 

But yes of course I think it would be appreciated! Are you not on great terms right now?

You've only got one family.

Yes. My brothers are my best non-spousal friends. I wish I could see them more. 

If I didn't know you better, I'd swear you were a canoe.

My brother is a great guy we work ed together for a while and we don't see eye-to-eye on certain things but he is a damn good guy. We do not see each other socially nearly enough. I just thought it was kind of funny what he was buying at 9: 15 in the evening and what I was buying at 9: 15 in the evening.  Knowing his ladies things could be just a touch chaotic at his house if those are the necessary supplies to get through the evening.

Being a good spouse/father is just part of life. Or should be. I'm not saying don't invite him over, but doing nice things for the people you love should be the expectation, not an exception. 

In reply to mazdeuce - Seth :

You are correct. He is one of the best father's that I  know  . His life is centered on his daughters. The look on his face said that he would like to have 30 minutes to relax in peace. I'll make the offer and he will once again be to busy. 

If you're lucky, you get to live a life you choose. Sometimes those choices have unexpected consequences. Those consequences can be a real drag, but it often helps to remember the reason for the choice in the first place. In the case of parental and spousal duties, the consequences hopefully look minor comparatively.

None of which means anything, invite him out for a beer, maybe on neutral ground somewhere. He might not say yes, but if you never ask then the answer is always no.

I've been on that shopping trip more than once, the chocolate is not requested, it's something you grab because you value your life.

I see my brother maybe three times a year.  He and I are separated by nearly 400 miles.  If you happen to live in the same town as your brother and you haven't spent some time with him this month, then by all means, make plans to get together and do it!

Saw my brother Jack at the Chicago airport once, he was headed to Russia, I was going to Ft. Hood, Tx.  No time for a beer though. 

pilotbraden said:

You are correct. He is one of the best father's that I  know  . His life is centered on his daughters. The look on his face said that he would like to have 30 minutes to relax in peace. I'll make the offer and he will once again be to busy. 

With a chaotic schedule/life, it might help to focus on making both the time and location as convenient as possible for him. And if he genuinely doesn't believe that he can find a pint worth of time somewhere within the next few weeks, then he is over extending himself and might need that break more than either of you realize. Exercising some basic level of self (and couple) centered care allows us to be the best parents we can be, and is an essential part of being good role models for our kids.

FWIW, my brother has had a hectic year. We all have, but the two of us have especially. I was trying to find a time to meet up with him, but he was always legitimately busy. 

I finally told him, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. When are you free for an hour? Ok, do you wanna go to the driving range, out for breakfast/dinner/lunch, or just play guitars at literally any location?

I didn't ask if he wanted to hang out, I basically made him pick when we were hanging out and what we were doing - I've found I'm much more successful doing that than I am asking if he wants to hang out.

Not only would I invite him over, I'd frame it as:

I know you're busy with your family, and I understand that is your number one priority, and it should be. I'd love to hang out with you for a bit and catch up, though.

Well hang out with him sometime... I never had a brother so there you go

btw I’m not feeling sorry for myself