Learn me first time parent gear!

So my wife and I are having our first child early next year and one as wondering what stuff do I really need to get and what do I need to stay away from?

I already bought a car seat. The only other two things I know we definitely need are a swing and a bed.

Thanks y'all

You literally don't need half the stuff you think you do. They grow up and out of things so fast in the first year.

A swing is great, we let our little one sleep in it for the first several weeks.

After that she slept in a rock and play sleeper until 4 months. Then we switched to the crib cold turkey and she's been good since.

We got one of those graco click connect car seats, and also an inexpensive stroller that the seat clicks into. If you go that route I would suggest a used stroller so you can flip it later and not be into it for too much. Quite frankly the stroller doesnt fold down that small, and the "base model" strollers have minimal adjustment options. We switched to a nicer umbrella type stroller once she was able to sit without being in the carrier, folds so much smaller.

Get yourself a nose frida. Babies get snotty, you'll need it. Its kind of genius/gross and it does the job well.

congrats btw. do you know if its a boy or girl? If you asked me before I would have said I wanted a boy but when I found out it was a girl I did not care. Im her best friend, we are attached at the hip lately, everything she wants to do its gotta be with Dad.

You got it covered!

When ours was born we had a changing table, a crib, a chair for momma, and a strap in chair for baby. Add in a few diapers (we did cloth), a few bottles, appropriate clothing, and you got it.

The rest trickled in as the baby started moving etc

Congrats man!

People greatly over-estimate the amount of E36 M3 they need for a baby. You NEED the car seat to avoid arrest but everything else except clean diapers and a good rash creme are optional. You don't need a swing, $1000 luxury stroller, special garbage can... none of it.

A baby bjorn sling is nice though - I did a lot of hiking with my son strapped to my chest because berkeley sitting home and/or pushing a stroller while wifey is dealing with the other baby. Strap that little shiny happy person to your chest, cover it in sunblock and go do stuff. Warning, however, wives are not amused by pics of you holding the MIG torch, putting dog treats in their neck fat for the dogs to lick out, pretending to shoot skeet, or cutting up habaneros for salsa while wearing your baby.

EDIT: Don't listen to anything I say. Mine are 17 and 13 now and one has 9 fingers, the other has a giant keloid road rash scar on his side from failing to remain on top of a kart after failing to stay on the track. They are both fine individuals approaching adulthood ... but that's thru no fault of mine.

One thing to keep in mind is that babies are people, and as such they are not all the same (far from it). Take all the advice you get from other parents as suggestions about what worked for them, with their children, and feel free to ignore that advice if it doesn't seem to work for you.

My experience is that my daughter loved the swing, my son hated it. My daughter would fall asleep when going for rides in the car, my son wouldn't.

I suggest an infant carrier as the primary one (the "baby bucket" kind, where it's a seat with a handle that you can carry around with you, which clicks into a base that's strapped into the car). Kids have a tendency to puke all over their car seats at times, so having a backup seat available for use while washing the primary seat is a good idea. With the carriers it can also be useful to have multiple bases so that you can move the bucket between cars without needing to re-strap it.

We adopted.
On a Thursday, word hit us that this could happen.
On Sunday we met the baby for the first time but everything was still maybe.
On Tuesday we got the "go" that this would happen and she would be coming on Thursday night (one week from start to finish after waiting for nearly 2 years.) She was 8 weeks old.

My wife took off work on Weds to start super short notice, 8 week maternity leave - thank you school district where she teaches. That day, she went to Target and dropped $800. That $800 did not include a crib (since we were required to have one in waiting) but did include carseat to bring her home.

I suspect you do not live in a remote village. Don't worry about not having something. It is available at all the big box stores, etc at a moments notice.

Her 2nd birthday this weekend!

Bases were covered that I was going to suggest, extra bases, and the click in type car seat. Way nicer to package in the comfort of home and just latch into the car

Baby stuff from thrift shop such as Goodwill Store is the way to go. They will outgrow the clothes in about a half an hour anyway.

Money saved on baby stuff can be spent on stuff like driving suits and go cart parts for the little gaffer.

They make a miniature bath tub that fits in a kitchen sink that is very handy. Depending on your housing situation, baby monitor is nice to have.

mrhappy wrote: So my wife and I are having our first child early next year and one as wondering what stuff do I really need to get and what do I need to stay away from? I already bought a car seat. The only other two things I know we definitely need are a swing and a bed. Thanks y'all

Congratulations! I'm going to echo that you don't need nearly as much as you might think you do. The essentials are

• Crib with mattress
• Some baby clothes
• A car seat
• Diapers and wipes
• And lots of other cleaning supplies

The rest of it is kind of going to depend on the baby. Here are some of the things that worked for my kids:

• Bottles can be useful even if the baby is nursing.
• Swings might be helpful.
• I second the idea of a wearable baby carrier.
• A changing pad is nice to have but not essential.
• Stroller
• Baby bath thing - makes bathing them when they can't sit up a lot easier

But as JohnRW1621 noted - if you find you don't need something, it's probably only a big box store away. Also, you can save a lot by buying used.

mrhappy wrote: So my wife and I are having our first child early next year and one as wondering what stuff do I really need to get and what do I need to stay away from? I already bought a car seat. The only other two things I know we definitely need are a swing and a bed. Thanks y'all

Congratulations!

Kids are awesome! Even when they make your hair fall out they are the best!

So the biggest thing to share with you is that you probably will evolve into what works best for your family. We went through 4 bags before hitting the home run with a backpack style. There are all forms of helpful devices. The best headache saver thoughts:

• If using a bottle, buy one of every brand and try them out. Yes expensive but the first batch we got as a gift never worked for our second kid and we ended up trying 4 other brands before we found one that worked. The we stocked up on that one brand. So she drank easy with no fuss or mess.
• Carpet cleaner if you want to keep your house fresh from the spills and releases. Many said why not just get down there and scrub with a carpet cleaner. My time was more valuable and the rinse out the machine was much easier.
• Diapers the same as bottles. Try them all. My kids all had sensitive skin and something in Pampers irritated their waists. Found that Huggies didn't. My cousin had the opposite. Target brand diapers were all his daughter could use that wouldn't irritate her. Also body shape matters. My nephew needed some brand otherwise his poo would go up his back. Don't be afraid to try them all.
• Minivan - YES EVEN WITH ONE KID!!!!
• Whatever Mommy says she needs, notably for breast feeding, breast pumping. If she ends up buying over 60 different brands, sizes, and types of nursing bras, go for it. Not Negotiable.
• Nipple pads. (Be the hero Husband and offer that she buys some now to try out)
• Bath gear pending your living situation the bath can be in the sink or bathroom floor or walk in shower floor. So plan the stools, knee pads, tub type etc.

Minivan

Seriously, life is so much easier with a minivan for the early years it's just amazing.

Wait till the baby showers start, women are good at this sort of thing and if your wife knows at least one other woman she'll have a baby shower. Stuff will accumulate like snow in your house. It takes an industrious soul a fair amount of time just to keep it moving along the baby pipeline to other, newer parents.

Congrats, you're in for an experience!

Assuming that a child continues to grow while alive, and assuming that one always purchases a car seat that appropriately fits said child, I postulate that one could build everything around said car seat.

High chair? Nope. Frame of wood to hold the car seat at the dinner table. Swing? Nope. Set of cables from the ceiling that clip on the car seat in your living room. Stroller? Nope. Shop cart with a base for the car seat, a cooler, and a sweet umbrella.

Shop broom/snow shovel to clean up toys.

We have two little ones (27 months and 10 months). Stuff that we've found to be useful / useless as follows.

Useful:

• Infant car seat (snaps into base that stays in car). This is great, lets you move sleeping baby from car to house/restaurant/other without waking them. If you have two cars, lets you use one seat and two bases. We used a Chicco Keyfit 30 and were happy with it.
• Car seat caddy. A no-frills set of wheels that the car seat snaps in to as a stroller. We have the Keyfit Caddy (same brand, etc), and it's way easier to fold/unfold/store than a regular stroller, and has way more storage than a regular stroller. Don't buy new, buy a used one for $50, use if for 18 months, and sell it for $50.
• All terrain stroller. We had a used Jeep brand stroller that wasn't bad, and then get a used Baby Jogger Summit X3 for a deal. It's been amazing for festivals, disc golf, trips to the beach, trips to the store, etc, etc, etc. It's big, takes up space in the car, but it drives really nice, never gets stuck on roots, and will work for 5months - 4 years.
• Pack-n-play (baby jail). Used it instead of a crib for the first months of life, then as a mobile safe-space around the house (working in the garage and need to watch baby? Just move the jail). It's now set up as a ball pit for the kids.
• Baby sling. Either a baby bjorn, a boba, a ring-sling, etc, etc. Find a style you like. I wear the little one for housecleaning, at houseparties, when she's fussy and won't fall asleep, etc, etc. Not great for your back to hang 'em off the front of you, but you'll survive.
• Small washcloths (approx. 8"-10" square). Great for wiping up everything. Cheap, you can wash them a million times and they still work. Work well wet or dry. Once baby starts teething, roll clean washcloths up into 4" x 1"-dia rolls, soak in water or chamomile tea, and freeze as teething toys. Frozen cloths keep fussy kids happy.
• Baby car mirror. Straps to the headrest of the seat you have baby strapped to so that you can see the kid's face (when they're rear-facing). Lets you see if kiddo is sleeping, fussing, eating, chewing their feet, etc, etc. Not a need-to-have, but nice.
• Nanny. Get grandparents involved and committed to seeing your new one (if you're on good terms). Or aunts, uncles, friends that don't yet have kids but one day may want them, etc, etc. Ask them to come by to visit and play when they can, and then you'll train yourself some babysitters. The ability to get out for a couple hours once the baby is 4 months old for a night with mom is HUGE.
• Nipple shields. If your wife breastfeeds, these can be a godsend. Around day 3 or 4, when you're starting to hallucinate from lack of sleep, she's going to be very sore, there may be a little cracking/bleeding, and some sobbing. This gets you over the hump, and easier to have one on hand rather than driving to walmart at 2AM so baby can eat without mama wincing.
• High Chair. Eventually baby is going to be a big kid and will sit at the table. You can drop $200 on a padded fully adjustable high chair on wheels that has enough nooks and crannies that you'll never get it clean, or you can get the cheap ikea one that everyone likes.

Useless:

• Diaper bag. Just buy a backpack. Or any other bag. We ended up with a $120 bag that was hard to organize, didn't hold much, was a pain to carry, and fell apart after a year. $30 on a decent daypack will do you better.
• Change table. We got a couple used ones for around the house. Putting a change pad on top of a mid-height dresser works just as well. Friends have a change pad on the floor in the home-office (advantage - baby can't fall off the floor).

But yeah, huck pretty much hit it on the head. You don't really NEED anything much at all, people raise dozens of kids in other parts of the world with nothing but patience and a little dirt to rub on the wounds. The stuff everyone tries to sell you is all just a convenience, not a necessity.

EvanR wrote:

I was going to recommend Zanax, but close enough.

Minivan. The ability to slide the door open in a crowded parking lot and insert/retrieve/change Junior without doing highly improbable things to your back is PRICELESS.

We currently look after a 4-yr-old one day a week in the Rondo, and every time we change her clothes at the park/pool or snap her into her car seat we miss the old van.

Also, it took us an embarrassingly long time (back in the day) to figure out that if our kid used a soother, one of those strap or ribbon thingies that attaches the soother to the kid's clothes might just possibly be a good idea. (Insert parental facepalm here.)

Sleep...you need sleep. As much as you can get.

I'll second the sleep part. The first few nights are the worst as you'll get woken up every hour or so to feed and change them.

If your partner has a C-section, expect to be doing the majority of the heavy lifting for the first few weeks as they heal.

We're nearly 3 months in and our daughter is teaching us quite a bit about patience and how to cleanup a dirty baby in random locations with only a bag of diaper wipes and a spare outfit.

Work out a schedule for sleep and baby coverage and if you have time off from work, use it however it works best for you both.

Don't be afraid to travel, we've already flown to Kauai with Emerson Grace and we're nearly finished with a road trip to Copalos Beach, WA and she's done great for both trips.

A hard drive to keep all those pics and vids you're going record. The wife and I spent 2 hours Saturday watching vids of our 5 year old son. From his birth until now. I swear he was born yesterday.

Also, you'll need patience. Don't worry about trying to be the perfect parent. You're going to berkeley up, a lot. Just have patience and remember that your life revolves around baby now.

Video baby monitor with night vision. Not essential, but mighty close.

My daughter is a few days shy of 4 months old.. we had to only buy a few things, and most of that was used.. paid $35 for a $200 crib from a facebook group, got a barely used pair of Graco Click Connect car seats with bases for $50.. my cousin gave us a barely used Chicco stroller/car seat combo with an expired seat as a gift.. i modificated the stroller a little bit so the Graco car seat latches into it, but i feel guilty leaving my kid in the car seat too long so she just sits in it..

Got all sorts of toys and what not given to us, bought a $10 changing table that gets used as a shelf, and i found a joghing stroller so i can easily take her with me when i go on a junkyard adventure.. she already supervises when i work on cars in the garage, so the junkyard should feel natural for her..

Anyways, don't overthink it and don't let tv commercials make you think parenting is hard and that you need to buy thousands of dollats in E36 M3 to raise them. it isn't like that. your whole job is to keep the kid alive and teach it not to be an shiny happy person, so just concentrate on that..

Huckleberry wrote: A baby bjorn sling is nice though....

Came here to add this. Some other brilliant person beat me to it. Hands-free baby carrier. Berkeley a stroller. Kids loved it, and so did I. The Baby Bjorn lasted through two kids and was still in great shape when we gave it away.

some helpful advice,

and then there is the thing no one tells you before you become a parent

Cheap strollers suck. Expensive strollers are stupid expensive.

Buy a good midrange one.