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Spoolpigeon
Spoolpigeon UltraDork
6/28/14 9:25 a.m.

Learn me

Slippery
Slippery HalfDork
6/28/14 9:31 a.m.

I don't have any answers, but I would check with your lawyer regardless of it being uncontested.

I might be wrong, but in my head if she sees a lawyer you are fukt.

Ranger50
Ranger50 PowerDork
6/28/14 9:45 a.m.

Divorce is 50/50 on everything that gets accumulated during the marriage, that is all assets and debts, even if your name isn't on it.

She needs her own worthless bag of lawyer, as do you. If your lawyer won't fight for YOUR interests, you need a new lawyer.

Length of time is set by the state and it will take longer then that. BTDT.

petegossett
petegossett PowerDork
6/28/14 9:47 a.m.

Sounds like you're on the right track. You didn't mention kids, so I presume you have none together? Is she employed, and if so, has she been for most of your marriage? Depending on the state you live in, you may owe her some $$$ if she was not employed throughout your marriage.

Woody
Woody MegaDork
6/28/14 9:48 a.m.

Delete some of what you just said.

Ranger50
Ranger50 PowerDork
6/28/14 9:51 a.m.
Woody wrote: Delete some of what you just said.

What he said and quickly!

Spoolpigeon
Spoolpigeon UltraDork
6/28/14 9:54 a.m.

She has a son from a previous relationship, but I have not adopted him.

She has had a job for the short time we've been married.

Curmudgeon
Curmudgeon MegaDork
6/28/14 9:57 a.m.

Definitely delete! Quick like a bunny! There ain't no such thing as an uncontested divorce. Once she talks to some of her buddies and they all start egging her on your ass is gonna be new mown grass.

In SC the waiting period is 1 year for any divorce, contested or not.

Spoolpigeon
Spoolpigeon UltraDork
6/28/14 9:58 a.m.

In reply to Woody:

Done. If you think there is other stuff to remove, let me know.

MCarp22
MCarp22 HalfDork
6/28/14 10:54 a.m.

Going through this myself in TN. She and I discussed how we wanted the divorce to happen and sat down with a lawyer to draft a Divorce agreement. Legally the lawyer could only represent one of us (her in this case) at the hearing, but that hasn't been an issue.

Basil Exposition
Basil Exposition Dork
6/28/14 11:58 a.m.

I went through this a few years ago. I hired the lawyer, had him draft the papers, and had her sign them all. Legally, the lawyer represented me, but he didn't get into my business-- we knew what we wanted to do and did it. Every state is a little different, though. There were no kids involved.

My current wife did her divorce without a lawyer. She did all the research on the papers and the law and did all the filings herself. Again, no kids and not much in the way of assets to split.

Curmudgeon
Curmudgeon MegaDork
6/28/14 12:01 p.m.

To all considering this: it's all well and good to be civil, nice, save on attorney fees etc but keep your powder dry! Have an attorney on retainer just in case the opposition's decides to go full gonzo; you'd want to keep this under your hat. The LAST thing you need is for a bomb to go off in that attorney's office and you now have to scramble to line up your own protection.

wbjones
wbjones UltimaDork
6/28/14 12:07 p.m.

I would even delete the original post if I were you … you've gotten the info that the board has to offer … now let there be no tracks for any shyster to follow

oldopelguy
oldopelguy SuperDork
6/28/14 12:11 p.m.

My first wife and I divorced with fill in the blanks paperwork I spent $200 for and her lawyer went through, made a couple of minor changes to, and then witnessed both of us signing. He dropped it off with a judge after a 30-day cool off period and we each picked up our copies later that week.

Each state is different, but if you already have a lawyer an hour of their time is the best place to start.

Datsun310Guy
Datsun310Guy PowerDork
6/28/14 12:52 p.m.
Ranger50 wrote: Divorce is 50/50 on everything.......

Someone told me this is incorrect. 25% you, 25% her, 25% your lawyer, 25% her lawyer.......just trying to lighten the situation.

Graefin10
Graefin10 SuperDork
6/28/14 2:08 p.m.
oldopelguy wrote: My first wife and I divorced with fill in the blanks paperwork I spent $200 for and her lawyer went through, made a couple of minor changes to, and then witnessed both of us signing. He dropped it off with a judge after a 30-day cool off period and we each picked up our copies later that week. Each state is different, but if you already have a lawyer an hour of their time is the best place to start.

This is the way it could/should be but seldom is. This is the way mine was supposed to be but it didn't work out that way. I won't go into details but if it can be accomplished that way the quicker you move through it the better.

fujioko
fujioko Reader
6/28/14 2:21 p.m.

I went through this about ten years ago. Total cost was $950.00 for the divorce...Ironically, the divorce was more than the wedding including both rings.

Anyway, it is possible to get through the divorce without handing all your money to the lawyer. Keep a cool head and smile when you are supposed too.

Spoolpigeon
Spoolpigeon UltraDork
6/28/14 2:41 p.m.

Thanks for the responses guys. I'm hoping it goes like oldopelguy described.

First post edited too

Ian F
Ian F UltimaDork
6/28/14 4:17 p.m.

My parents divorce was uncontested and was pretty much a matter of filling out some forms as far as I can remember. My father wanted to remarry and my mother wanted to buy a house, so they both had incentive to get it done quickly. That said, my mother had the money/job and my father is not the type to go after something that isn't his, whether he may have had legal right to it or not. I was 17 when they split and over 21 when they finally filed the papers, so the matter of children wasn't an issue.

wbjones
wbjones UltimaDork
6/28/14 6:31 p.m.
Spoolpigeon wrote: Thanks for the responses guys. I'm hoping it goes like oldopelguy described. First post edited too

nice first post

JThw8
JThw8 PowerDork
6/28/14 6:42 p.m.

Really varies state to state and situation to situation. Starter wife and I decided to quit while we were friends. Met with a divorce mediator (lawyer who CAN represent both parties) quoted $250 an hour during the "free" consultation. Ex and I went to local diner hashed out the split including child support. Went back handed mediator $125 and said "make it legal"

We were broke as hell, no point in fighting over nothing to pay someone else.

18 years later, we're still friends.

If I ever divorce from #2 it will be a decidedly different experience I'm sure.

kazoospec
kazoospec Dork
6/28/14 7:35 p.m.

Contrary to popular opinion, an uncontested divorce can, and often does happen when there are no kids to be dealt with. I know, because I have to sign off on about 40 to 70 of them per month. Others can take years and hundreds of thousands of dollars to settle, usually when the parties decide to use the divorce to punish each other for whatever emotional baggage caused the divorce in the first place. I have literally seen people spend thousands of dollars fighting over a few hundred dollars worth of dishes just to "prove a point". Be thankful you don't have kids in the mix, as custody, parenting time and (perhaps most of all) child support turn things bitter in a big hurry.

Pay your share of the outstanding debt, take only what you really need from the shared property and call it good. If you get to fighting about the details, only the lawyers win.

KyAllroad
KyAllroad Reader
6/28/14 7:37 p.m.

My divorce started "amicably". She got advice from her new "friend" to get a lawyer..... Upshot for me was that the law in my state makes me a bit less than satisfied. In the end 50/50 cost me two cars, a house, most of my stuff and a mortgage payment size child support payment. YMMV

Curmudgeon
Curmudgeon MegaDork
6/29/14 6:33 a.m.
KyAllroad wrote: My divorce started "amicably". She got advice from her new "friend" to get a lawyer..... Upshot for me was that the law in my state makes me a bit less than satisfied. In the end 50/50 cost me two cars, a house, most of my stuff and a mortgage payment size child support payment. YMMV

THIS is exactly why I said hope for the best, plan for the worst. I'm sure there are uncontested divorces that work out fine all the time but unless you have a crystal ball it's impossible to know for sure if yours will be one of them until the ink is dry.

Jerry
Jerry Dork
6/29/14 6:45 p.m.

We were uncontested as well. No kids, house was only in my name (although living in KY at the time she had a small claim due to the marriage itself). I offered to take on the remaining debts we had to keep the house, now wish I could have given her that piece of E36 M3. She kept the bills in her sole name.

Ended up costing me about $2k for the lawyer total, $2k to get her interest out of the house, and $2k for some possessions we shared that I can't even remember now. To me it was worth $6k to remove her from my life. Both my happiness and bank account recovered swiftly.

Funny part was during the separation agreement meeting, her lawyer (she could barely afford some intern-type if I remember) came up with the initial list of wanting big $, continued healthcare, alimony, and the works. They left so I could confer with my lawyer, soon as the door closed he said "well there's no way in berkeleying hell she's getting that". We settled much much lower than that. Helped that I took on some debt, the house was either break-even or owed more than worth, and I had let her try to run a small store she tried while I kept the real job.

No kids and her lazy ass refusing to help out with $ helped my situation.

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