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Daylan C
Daylan C PowerDork
2/12/20 3:58 p.m.

"I won't complain when payday hits but I will complain all day Friday."

-me when asked if i could cover a coworkers mandatory overtime shift for the 2nd week in a row. 

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
2/12/20 7:30 p.m.

“Why hide the corruption?  It’s so much easier this way”

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
2/13/20 6:42 p.m.

“I paid $3500 for a backpack and got a free trip to Europe”

 

- my daughter. School trip. 

Wally
Wally MegaDork
2/13/20 9:56 p.m.

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
2/14/20 10:27 a.m.

When my son was six or eight years old, he was sitting in the backseat of the car. I was driving. I was pulling out of a parking lot and I hit the gas too hard, which spun the rear wheels. My wife scolded me for my shenanigans as a bad example in front of the kids.

My son, in his infinite youthful wisdom said “Hey Mom!  It’s a lot more fun if you put your hands in the air and say Wheee!”

Duke
Duke MegaDork
2/14/20 10:48 a.m.

In reply to SVreX :

When DD#1 was about 4-5, I hit a stretch of black ice in my old Supra. After a code-brown tankslapper I brought it to rest backwards in a luckily-placed parking lot.  As I was sitting there trying to remember how to breathe, she piped up from her car seat in back:

"Was that fun?"

 

Mr_Asa
Mr_Asa Reader
2/14/20 11:09 a.m.

"What are you doing? Why are you doing it? I hate you all"

Said, multiple times, while I was navigating Tampa traffic today.

NickD
NickD PowerDork
2/14/20 11:42 a.m.

In reply to Duke :

My sister was once driving in the winter to take her two daughters to the library, hit an icy spot with her Bonneville and looped it backwards into a ditch. The car came to a stop and her one daughter goes "Why'd we stop, mom?" and the other goes "Yeah, what happened?" 

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
2/14/20 2:12 p.m.

“Would you like to switch to pedestrian mode?”

 

- My GPS, trying to insult me while I sat in traffic on the Long Island Expressway. 

jgrewe
jgrewe Reader
2/14/20 5:37 p.m.

Sitting with my 4 year old daughter on her first commercial flight.  We are just starting the push back from the gate when she asks me. "Daddy is this airplane going to go upside down"? The guy across the aisle from us, who did not look very comfortable flying, loses all color in his face as he turns to look at us.  I told her no and then explained to the guy that I'm a pilot that does a little aerobatics.  He still looked nervous as he looked at the 4 year old that was perfectly comfortable on the plane thinking she was going to get to go upside down.

Knurled.
Knurled. MegaDork
2/15/20 6:35 a.m.
SVreX said:

“Would you like to switch to pedestrian mode?”

 

- My GPS, trying to insult me while I sat in traffic on the Long Island Expressway. 

That sounds more like the comical narration for when your car stops moving under its own power.

Adrian_Thompson
Adrian_Thompson MegaDork
2/15/20 7:32 a.m.

"It was jerky and daddy said bad words" - My then 7 year old daughter having elected to do another lap of the Nurburgring. The whole family did the first sighting lap, mom and sister jumped out and an experienced Ring-dog got in to call corners for me. 

Mndsm
Mndsm MegaDork
2/15/20 7:43 a.m.

Got this one from an imagineer-

 

"There is a direct correlation between doing things right the first time and how many phone calls you get on your day off". 

Wally
Wally MegaDork
2/15/20 11:17 a.m.

Knurled.
Knurled. MegaDork
2/15/20 10:11 p.m.
Knurled. said:

Actually quite motivational:

 

"If you got a frawg to swallow, don't look at it too long."

 - Forrest Gump

 

Motivational quote I think of every time I have a job to do that looks like it's gonna suck.  Don't just stand there looking at it, just get it done and over with already.

The corollary, when you really don't want to get started:

 

"This E36 M3's going to have nuts in it!"

 - Deadpool

Duke
Duke MegaDork
2/17/20 1:13 p.m.

JUST SAY NO TO:

  •  DRUGS
  • CHEAP FREIGHT
  • LIPPY BROADS

-- seen on the back of an independent trucker's box trailer on my way home from lunch with DW

 

kazoospec
kazoospec UberDork
2/17/20 1:45 p.m.

Today, Mrs. Kazoo discovered she had her "afternoon coffee" a couple hours earlier than planned.  Her analysis: "Great, now I'm gonna feel like I pitted on the wrong lap for the rest of the day."  

NickD
NickD PowerDork
3/2/20 7:01 p.m.

"For those who don't know, MaxPeedingRods are $160 coilovers that are filled with canola oil instead of hydraulic fluid" - Vinny Anatra from Hoonigans.

Wxdude10 - Mike
Wxdude10 - Mike Reader
3/2/20 7:15 p.m.
Mndsm said:

Got this one from an imagineer-

 

"There is a direct correlation between doing things right the first time and how many phone calls you get on your day off". 

I do not have enough thumbs up to give you for this.  

Greg Smith
Greg Smith Dork
3/3/20 12:24 p.m.

"Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy" - Robert Heinlein

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy MegaDork
3/7/20 11:30 p.m.

Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough. - Anonymous 

And yes, it may have been posted before, but it tickled me when I heard it tonight.

 

Wally
Wally MegaDork
3/11/20 9:18 a.m.

barefootskater
barefootskater SuperDork
3/12/20 9:27 p.m.

Mommy, mommy, mommy! I want a donut!

jenny_piu
jenny_piu New Spammer
3/13/20 3:25 a.m.

[I canoe, therefore I am]

barefootskater
barefootskater SuperDork
3/16/20 9:11 p.m.

It's never a bad time for a corn dog 

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