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chandler
chandler PowerDork
3/17/20 8:24 p.m.

If this virus resulted in diarrhea would all the nasal spray shelves be empty?

-my 11 year old 

you see where she gets her sense of humor 

Steve_Jones
Steve_Jones Reader
3/17/20 9:00 p.m.
chandler said:

If this virus resulted in diarrhea would all the nasal spray shelves be empty?

-my 11 year old 

you see where she gets her sense of humor 

Yeah, Facebook. It's been posted a lot. 

chandler
chandler PowerDork
3/18/20 6:36 a.m.
Steve_Jones said:
chandler said:

If this virus resulted in diarrhea would all the nasal spray shelves be empty?

-my 11 year old 

you see where she gets her sense of humor 

Yeah, Facebook. It's been posted a lot. 

Haha, I'm not on there. I thought it was funny, guess not original though.

Mndsm
Mndsm MegaDork
3/18/20 4:31 p.m.

Hey siri- did one of the Olsen twins do porn?

 

Trying to settle a bet at work

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy MegaDork
3/20/20 3:30 p.m.

"NASA FIXES MARS LANDER BY TELLING IT TO HIT ITSELF WITH A SHOVEL"

The headline was all caps, I just pasted it in.

Adrian_Thompson
Adrian_Thompson MegaDork
3/20/20 4:28 p.m.
Mndsm said:

Hey siri- did one of the Olsen twins do porn?

 

Trying to settle a bet at work

And the answer is?

NickD
NickD UltimaDork
3/27/20 11:40 a.m.

"You've never drag-raced this combo?"

"I drag-raced to Taco Bell with my tuner in the back seat."

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair MegaDork
3/27/20 1:21 p.m.
Adrian_Thompson said:
Mndsm said:

Hey siri- did one of the Olsen twins do porn?

 

Trying to settle a bet at work

And the answer is?

i can't recall the comedian's name but i heard this one the other day:

"my neighbors just finished starring in a porn.  well, they don't know that yet."

Streetwiseguy
Streetwiseguy MegaDork
3/27/20 1:31 p.m.

It's starting to look like Howard Hughes wasn't nuts after all.

Subscriber-unavailabile
Subscriber-unavailabile HalfDork
3/27/20 2:06 p.m.

Don't blow your nose when your taking a dump. Your welcome

johndej
johndej HalfDork
3/27/20 2:24 p.m.

"As more work from home, Walmart sees rise in sales of tops, not bottoms"

dculberson
dculberson MegaDork
3/27/20 9:15 p.m.

"They figured out how to ruin olives." -My wife, after trying the Olive Tapenade flavored hummus I bought.

barefootskater
barefootskater SuperDork
4/13/20 9:12 a.m.

3yo: Daddy, I want a real trumpet.

Me (who already got him a toy trumpet): Kiddo, those are so expensive.

3yo: but it's so real!

 

 

 

 

 

cheapest one I could find that was playable with a mouthpiece was $75. Yes, I ordered it. Yes, damn kids are spoiled. I guess I could learn to play...

Wally (Forum Supporter)
Wally (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
4/13/20 10:52 a.m.

P3PPY
P3PPY HalfDork
4/16/20 7:06 a.m.

Farmer who bought my van yesterday: “I’m not a mechanic either, I’m a parts replacer”

barefootskater
barefootskater SuperDork
4/27/20 10:49 p.m.

Oh's great! Just whats I needs. More sluts. 
-Toki Wartooth 

Adrian_Thompson (Forum Supporter)
Adrian_Thompson (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
4/28/20 10:08 a.m.
P3PPY said:

Farmer who bought my van yesterday: “I’m not a mechanic either, I’m a parts replacer”

This needs re-quoting for awesomeness.  

NickD
NickD UltimaDork
5/15/20 8:24 a.m.

"I'm either going to win, or tear some cars up. It's a win-win for me." - James Taal

"Win, lose or indifferent, I'm throwing my helmet." - also James Taal.

"Situation report: We made the jumps too big!" - Cleetus

Daylan C (Forum Supporter)
Daylan C (Forum Supporter) PowerDork
5/15/20 8:56 p.m.

"I bought a drone. I successfully crashed it and then the batteries died"

"That pretty much sums up the drone experience"

Daylan C (Forum Supporter)
Daylan C (Forum Supporter) PowerDork
5/17/20 1:47 p.m.

"Even I know a $200 Alfa is a bad idea, and I'm high as E36 M3."

Stampie (FS)
Stampie (FS) UltimaDork
5/30/20 9:39 p.m.

Volvo C30 passes us on I95

Me "Do you like that?"

Lil Stampie "No it looks way too Swedish."

Me "Well it is."

 

Daylan C (Forum Supporter)
Daylan C (Forum Supporter) PowerDork
5/30/20 9:55 p.m.

"I'm probably the slowest Miata here today. Definitely the ugliest."

barefootskater
barefootskater SuperDork
5/31/20 9:42 a.m.

"I like horses, but I want to ride a cow."

Pete. (l33t FS)
Pete. (l33t FS) MegaDork
5/31/20 9:49 a.m.
Stampie (FS) said:

Volvo C30 passes us on I95

Me "Do you like that?"

Lil Stampie "No it looks way too Swedish."

Me "Well it is."

 

You raised him well.

 

(I do like C30s, but I mean he was able to articulate his opinion about a rather complicated automotive matter of taste in very few words, in a way that expressed that he knew exactly what he was talking about)

Torkel
Torkel Reader
5/31/20 12:28 p.m.

In reply to Stampie (FS) :

Oh come on! There is no such thing are "Too Swedish"! What's next: "Her ass is too firm"??

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