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EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo GRM+ Memberand Mod Squad
3/3/19 8:44 p.m.

I will trust a dog that doesn't like people more than a person who doesn't like dogs.

Daylan C
Daylan C GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
3/3/19 9:21 p.m.

CNC operators discussing microwave popcorn on lunch break.

"If you wanted to hit start and listen for things to explode you'd go back out on the shop floor."

Wally
Wally GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
3/3/19 9:22 p.m.

If this were a logical world men would ride side-saddle 

Too Slim

barefootskater
barefootskater Dork
3/3/19 9:25 p.m.

My wife: 

“This diet would be easier if I wasn’t addicted to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

Daylan C
Daylan C GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
3/3/19 9:45 p.m.

Me: If I drive us in the Mustang you'll probably kill me before we make it home.

Her: That's not untrue.

Knurled.
Knurled. GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
3/3/19 10:04 p.m.
Mndsm said:

"Mad how the object of golf is to play as little golf as possible " 

 

But golf is a good walk ruined.  So of course you'd want to do as little golf as possible.

 

At Ohio rallycrosses, we generally say the person who placed DFL had the most fun.  They spent the most time driving!

gearheadmb
gearheadmb SuperDork
3/3/19 10:23 p.m.

"My plan is to live forever. So far so good." -some comedian

"Women are like a television, you dont know how they work, or why they work, youre just glad theyre there." -my dad.

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
3/3/19 10:41 p.m.

The raven can't catch fish, so it has to plot and scheme. - slight paraphrase, I think, from the Nature show that was on earlier today.

Antihero
Antihero GRM+ Memberand Dork
3/4/19 1:10 a.m.

Heavy is the hand that is forced to win against all odds again and again

ultraclyde
ultraclyde PowerDork
3/4/19 4:52 a.m.
Daylan C said:

Me: If I drive us in the Mustang you'll probably kill me before we make it home.

Her: That's not untrue.

My wife and I took my Mustang out on date night Saturday. It was a lot like that.

Which reminds me, a quote from the first time my wife ever rode in the Mustang on the day I bought it. I turned in to a parking lot through traffic and whipped into a space. She looks at me, horror stricken, and says "when do the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling?"

A coworker looked in the trunk of my 70 Impala and said "Man, you could fit a LOT of dead hookers in here..."

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo GRM+ Memberand Mod Squad
3/4/19 5:50 a.m.

Lightweight, inexpensive, durable. Pick two.

Daylan C
Daylan C GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
3/4/19 7:17 a.m.
Appleseed said:

You can't lie to a nun, Jake. We gotta go and visit the Penguin. 

I interupt normal proceedings and quote a post from 2 pages ago to remind everyone that the unrated version of this movie is free on prime right now.

Johnboyjjb
Johnboyjjb HalfDork
3/4/19 7:44 a.m.

Life would be easy if it weren't so daily.

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
3/4/19 12:23 p.m.

All water doesn't taste the same. If you don't know that, you don't drink enough water.

RevRico
RevRico PowerDork
3/4/19 12:27 p.m.

It's not completely broken, I haven't tried to fix it yet. - me

It's already broke, what's the worst that could happen if you try to fix it? - somebody here, I can't remember the original poster, but it's stuck with me. I think it was Seth in the R63 thread.

edizzle89
edizzle89 SuperDork
3/4/19 12:43 p.m.

ultraclyde
ultraclyde PowerDork
3/4/19 12:44 p.m.

AN old hotrodder once told me "son, if you can't fix it, fix it so can't NOBODY fix it."

Antihero
Antihero GRM+ Memberand Dork
3/4/19 12:45 p.m.
ultraclyde said:

AN old hotrodder once told me "son, if you can't fix it, fix it so can't NOBODY fix it."

My dad has a similar saying " we'll  fix it, or we will fix it so nobody can"

Antihero
Antihero GRM+ Memberand Dork
3/4/19 12:47 p.m.

Money doesn't gaurantee happiness, but lack of a certain amount gaurantees misery.

 

Is another thing my dad says

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
3/4/19 12:51 p.m.

"John, you goldshoed fairy twit!" - Don't remember the actual name but it was yelled by a mechanic at a driver wearing those ridiculous gold driving shoes.

Taking a corner fast in an offroad rally near where my navigator at the time Dean lives:

Dean: "Left turn onto semi-paved road."

Me: "...was that guy having an argument with a bus stop sign?"

Dean: "Yeah, he's crazy as berkeley. Miss two roads on the left."

pinchvalve
pinchvalve GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
3/4/19 1:37 p.m.

Can't find the image of the sign, but it was in front of a convenience store and it read: "2PACs of Eminem cost 50 Cent, that's Ludacris, but still no Biggie." 

JakeOG
JakeOG New Reader
3/4/19 1:46 p.m.

During a maintenance review meeting I explained that the heat exchanger on line 1 was leaking water.  My boss asked "How wet is the water?" A lot of options went through my head but I responded "Its fully wet."

Mndsm
Mndsm MegaDork
3/4/19 3:12 p.m.
Daylan C said:
Appleseed said:

You can't lie to a nun, Jake. We gotta go and visit the Penguin. 

I interupt normal proceedings and quote a post from 2 pages ago to remind everyone that the unrated version of this movie is free on prime right now.

I just watched it. I hadn't seen some of those scenes before. Like elwood working. 

Mndsm
Mndsm MegaDork
3/4/19 3:21 p.m.

"Cant the cops wait til after breakfast?" - me wondering why the cops were at my job at 7am. 

The same day provided "why are the cops here again?" Right before I found out someone hit the building with a pt cruiser in the midst of a heroin blackout. Narcan is fun to watch. 

 

There was also "theres a guy outside having a one man mosh pit. You wanna be in charge?" To management....about a guy. 

 

Also- "I just watched a guy karate fight a stop sign". Text to swmbo. 

 

When asked if I could drive a forklift- "I've never crashed one....". 

Toyman01
Toyman01 MegaDork
3/4/19 4:08 p.m.
Mndsm said:

 

When asked if I could drive a forklift- "I've never crashed one....". 

Hmm, I can't say that. Does that mean I can't drive a forklift?

I didn't exactly crash it, I dropped a rather long steel pole from fairly high up and stabbed it through the drivers door of a 70s Chevy pickup. 

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