So I have a dog question about doing the right thing.

In reply to Huckleberry: Yeah. As I mentioned that's exactly why we wanted a greyhound. He's a perfect greyhound. We've just come to find that we don't really fit well with having a dog and it's breaking my heart cause this is such a special dog.

Dog ownership is not for everyone. As much is it breaks my heart that my sweet Scout is so very old and will not be with us much longer, I am also quietly looking forward to a little less responsibility in the future (and the ability to take spontaneous overnight trips without making arrangements for a dog sitter).

I'm also in the 'give it a bit more time' camp. It takes cats, particularly, awhile to adjust, but they eventually just morph into one pack, and the cats come to look at the grey as a big heat source and attack training dummy. If you haven't had a dog before, it also takes awhile to get used to.

When we got Orion, the brown/white one, things went less than stellar for awhile. He destroyed a crate due to his separation anxiety, and had some food aggression. He ended up biting my son on the head (years later, he fessed up that he had jumped on him with a couch cushion The small bite he got was well deserved, and a pretty measured response. ) He actually wasn't from a grey rescue, so he most likely would have been euthanized had we sent him back.

For some reason, we decided to give it a bit of time, and he blossomed into an incredible companion, family member, and 'foster parent' for a host of rescued/fostered kittens over the years. I still miss him every day.

That said, none of us live in your house, and if it's really not working for you, there's no shame in returning him to the rescue.

not enough time. But, a dog is not a cat. A cat-like dog is not a cat. Dogs are pack animals that need you to engage in the pack/lead it. It's not for everyone, most dog owners aren't up to it really.

oldtin wrote: not enough time. But, a dog is not a cat. A cat-like dog is not a cat. Dogs are pack animals that need you to engage in the pack/lead it. It's not for everyone, most dog owners aren't up to it really.

Yeah, I fully agree. And I am, and we do try to engage with him correctly. That's not the issue so much... he's fantastic. Not really any problems behaviorally. He's gentle and happy and sleepy. The problem we are having is the change in the house dynamic. My wife has gotten a lot of her happiness the last ten years from just sitting with her cats. It recharges her. Her routines with our cats are fairly elaborate. And it's gutted her that they have changed. I can't stand to see her like this. On top of all that I think he would do better in a multi dog home... or at least I keep telling myself that.

This might come off as shiny happy person like but...

Yeah...You're being pretty dramatic.

You either give it more time or you don't. If it doesn't work out then fine return him and let another family give it a shot. If it works out then great. I dont understand why you're crying so much over this. The dog will adjust no matter where he ends up. It's not like you're throwing a baby in the dumpster.

I adopted a Doberman Pinscher that I call "ass-eyes" lol. Then a few years later we got a kitten, "shiny happy person". At first the shiny happy person hid under the couch for about a week while ass-eyes literally wept because she couldn't get to him. One day I come down stairs and they're sleeping together. Since then shiny happy person has been torturing ass'eyes and basically whooping her 70lb ass. To be honest when ass-eyes dies I'm probably not going to get another dog unless to protect livestock. I've been converted to cats. They're like adults and low maintenance. Dogs are needy physically and emotionally and we've gotten just to busy for that. Plus their farts are just unbearable. Then again I'll probably not get anything else that lives IN the house that comes with a mouth or shiny happy person.

Keep in mind that you are not letting Gregg down with your decision, no matter what you decide. Gregg lives in the moment, no matter who shares that moment with him.

You have given Gregg the opportunity to learn "cat", and a loving home where he can feel safe. That's all any dog wants. His next home will be equally vetted by the rescue, so you can rest easy that he will not be abused or neglected. He will harbor no ill will toward you if you decide that he is not the best fit for your pack. If it isn't right, it just isn't right. No amount of guilt or sadness will change that. Let the sadness go and talk with the rescue. We have had to return two dogs that just didn't work out for us, and while initially it felt like we had failed the dog or the rescue group in some way, ultimately we were making the right decision for all of us.

I'd say you have a different issue than the dog. This sounds more like you guys are headed towards a whether you guys will have (or both really want) kids discussion.

Edit-and puppy is different than grown dog just like having a baby is different than an older child that got its personality and loyalties before you met it.

MrJoshua wrote: I'd say you have a different issue than the dog. This sounds more like you guys are headed towards a whether you guys will have (or both really want) kids discussion. Edit-and puppy is different than grown dog just like having a baby is different than an older child that got its personality and loyalties before you met it.

You sir are correct. It's been an ongoing conversation the last decade.

yupididit wrote: This might come off as shiny happy person like but... Yeah...You're being pretty dramatic. You either give it more time or you don't. If it doesn't work out then fine return him and let another family give it a shot. If it works out then great. I dont understand why you're crying so much over this.

Basically half because I love this dog and the other half because I'm a big fat berkeleying pansy

I think that's what hurts... he's a fine dog, fantastic really, but I am finding a dog is just not a good fit for our pack.

EastCoastMojo wrote: Keep in mind that you are not letting Gregg down with your decision, no matter what you decide. Gregg lives in the moment, no matter who shares that moment with him. You have given Gregg the opportunity to learn "cat", and a loving home where he can feel safe. That's all any dog wants. His next home will be equally vetted by the rescue, so you can rest easy that he will not be abused or neglected. He will harbor no ill will toward you if you decide that he is not the best fit for your pack. If it isn't right, it just isn't right. No amount of guilt or sadness will change that. Let the sadness go and talk with the rescue. We have had to return two dogs that just didn't work out for us, and while initially it felt like we had failed the dog or the rescue group in some way, ultimately we were making the right decision for all of us.

A pansy does not venture to bring a dog into a house with cats. Only a warrior would undertake such a feat. Stop beating yourself up.

joey48442 wrote: My wife has gotten a lot of her happiness the last ten years from just sitting with her cats. It recharges her. Her routines with our cats are fairly elaborate. And it's gutted her that they have changed. I can't stand to see her like this. On top of all that I think he would do better in a multi dog home... or at least I keep telling myself that.

No offense but she didn't want a dog at all. Maybe you did, but it is clear that she doesn't. There are now 3 pets in the house and if you can't handle 3 "cats" it's hard to imagine your household could handle a child. Change is the only constant with life.

Have you considered a greenhouse?

joey48442 wrote: My wife has gotten a lot of her happiness the last ten years from just sitting with her cats. It recharges her. Her routines with our cats are fairly elaborate. And it's gutted her that they have changed. I can't stand to see her like this. On top of all that I think he would do better in a multi dog home... or at least I keep telling myself that.

No offense but she didn't want a dog at all. Maybe you did, but it is clear that she doesn't. There are now 3 pets in the house and if you can't handle 3 "cats" it's hard to imagine your household could handle a child. Change is the only constant with life.

Have you considered a greenhouse?

In reply to mattm:

Not necessarily. In my cases there were specific reasons why the dog did not fit our pack. We opened our home to another dog and she fits perfectly.

We have 5 cats. It takes the right dog personality to fit a 5 cat household. You don't always hit the mark with your first shot. That doesn't mean that you give up entirely.

I have a couple of thoughts. First, give it a few months, even up to 6 before you throw in the towel. Second, I've never owned a greyhound, but have had neighbors that did so I know a bit, they are not typical dogs in thier behavior and habits.

Lastly, if you want a more typical behaving dog, I'll trade straight up for my wife's St Bernard. I promise a week with Ludwig Von Teufelshund and you'll have a new found fondness and appreciation for your greyhound......no trade backs

A week is not enough to determine anything other than maybe an overly aggressive or temperamental dog that won't work in a household.

We've just hit the 6th month mark with our rescues (Great Pyr and a Samoyed/Aussie mix). The Sammy mix is night and day different than the day we got him. He has come so far out of his shell to actually become a member of the family, whereas the Pyr was just always a member from day one.

Your wife has her routines with the cats. They've been disrupted. They haven't been destroyed.

We have 4 cats and 2 dogs in the house (no kids and none in the plans). The kitties would get all out of sorts anytime another cat or dog was added, but everything has worked itself out over time, but it took more than a week. A week is nothing when it comes to introducing a new animal to cats.

I agree with a few of the themes here. First, you'd be giving him back to a rescue, so he'd go to another home that's been well-vetted. There's no shame in that.

Secondly, I'd give it some more time to see how things develop. You've made significant changes in your life for this, so I'd try to give it at least a month if you can.

My parents have rescued three greyhounds over the years. Each of them became a part of the family and were a lot of fun. They are couch potatoes, but theirs were very interactive with them, and there was a lot of love all atound. They can be higher maintenance at times (i.e. they can't be off leash outside unless they're in a contained environment), but my parents have had a great overall experience with them.

In reply to mattm:

I'm not trying to be snarky but she absolutely wanted the dog. It was more her push than mine. We are fully aware change is a constant in life. She's always up for change. New job, new people, whatever. But that cats are stability to her. They are an easy point of happiness in her life. As for the baby thing, why do people keep telling us we don't want children? I never said we wanted kids or not, likely not, but I don't know why people keep feeling the need to tell us we shouldn't have them. She and I know it would be different with a child. There are no give backs with a kid. So I think the acceptance part of the change would be different. With the dog we can give him back and he would end up in a home that has a high likelihood of being better for him than ours. That's hard, as it makes a choice with two viable outcomes for him, and both outcomes are tough for us.

Wonko

before you tear everything down, maybe you should see if you could watch a friend's golden for a weekend?

Can you elaborate on this ?

Joel you have been one of my dearest and closest friends, I know that this situation is eating you up. You also know if it weren't for Theo I would be happy to give Greg a new home.

This sucks.

Without a doubt you should contact the agency and have him relocated. He's an amazing and deserving animal that needs a family that supports him 100% and while I know your intentions were well meaning the fact is he isn't the right piece for your puzzle.

You know I am always right here when you need to talk.

This is one of those "breathe, blink, breathe again, brush off and move forward" moments that we all dread.

I wish I could do more.

It took more than a week for your wife's routine with the cats to develop, right? Talk with her to decide a reasonable timeframe to see if an acceptable one re-develops. Might help knowing that there's a marker in the future to shoot for, not just "forever". In the meantime, shoot the rescue a heads up about the situation just so they know it might be coming.

You give a crap, and you're trying. That's all anyone can ever ask. Whatever you decide will be the right choice.

Yep, I'd say give this a deadline longer than 1 wk and then make your decision and be good with it. You are in the best possible situation you can be to decide if the dog stays or is adopted by someone else. I also think this situation is very specific to this dog and this time in your life. It tells you very little about whether you would like a different breed, a puppy of any breed, and even less about whether or not you or your wife would be a good parent to a child.

Have you had the dog put down yet? If you didn't, you should rename him Santa's Little Helper.