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DukeOfUndersteer
DukeOfUndersteer SuperDork
2/10/12 4:25 p.m.

DuctTape&Bondo
DuctTape&Bondo Reader
2/10/12 4:37 p.m.

We've had some strange ones here. Most notable was the girl who had an insane need for attention, would talk to you and talk to you and continue standing there trying to talk to you after you politely informed her you had to work and physically turned away from her. She would jump into every conversation, talk about 4 things over and over, her lap band or w/e the hell she had (didn't work cus she kept eating like garbage), her cosplay fetish (imagine a 6ft tall obese girl dressed like little bo peep), her wedding (never her husband) and her dogs (no pictures of husband or anything except her dogs on her desk.) Made random noises if nobody talked to her for awhile or if the office was quiet. Blew her nose like a trumpet every day. Every day. No mucus, no sickness, just blowing it to make noise and get attention. We work in health insurance, we have nurses, one of them told her it was not healthy to do it. Headphones would not drown that noise out. Every once in awhile would talk about the breakdown she had at her other dept and her stint in the psych ward. Nowhere near attractive physically. I'm not the beat around the bush guy, she loved me for that until she asked me and I politely (as possible) called her out on her issues and told her she didn't need anyones constant attention or validation. She hated me after that, even took a creep shot of me and I was told she posted it on facebook. Nobody here could stand her, even the sweet little old lady that loves everyone was put off. Eventually she quit because she couldn't cut it and nobody treated her like a "special little snowflake" here, but she claimed she quit so one of our temps could have her job.

Voted most likely to come back and shoot the place up.

At least I have a semi private cube with a view. Get to see all the sweet lil things walk by ;)

92CelicaHalfTrac
92CelicaHalfTrac SuperDork
2/10/12 4:42 p.m.

I work in a cube farm. A BIG cube farm, and the stories i could tell.

No stereotypes meant... but as a white male, i am part of the 10% minority that works here.

I hear E36 M3 EVERY DAY that i never needed to hear.

Jay
Jay SuperDork
2/10/12 4:47 p.m.
DukeOfUndersteer wrote:

Needs a period chair and a jacket with elbow patches hanging from one of those stand-up coat racks. Actually I don't think I could work in there, I'd be way too tempted to light up a pipe and then they'd boot me outside. Hey wait a minute, win win!

mad_machine
mad_machine SuperDork
2/10/12 5:03 p.m.

one place I worked at.. while we did not have cubes.. we were face to face with our desks actually touching. He was a nice guy, taught me a lot of theatrical stuff.. He was a type 2 diabetic and would just shovel sweet stuff into his mouth all day. It would be nothing for him to start the work day with a couple of pastries. I swear he ate more before 10am than I would in an entire day.

That part was just gross

Duke
Duke SuperDork
2/10/12 5:29 p.m.

No cubes here. 5 guys in a room about 20'x35'. It's a little tight.

At least in this office there is nobody who insists on cutting their nails at work. I think this is probably the first job I've had in 25 years that didn't have one of those.

Bumboclot
Bumboclot Reader
2/10/12 5:32 p.m.

My office mate left me 2 cans of Genny the other day. He's a good guy.

Javelin
Javelin GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
2/10/12 5:43 p.m.

I have my own office. On the top floor. With a window.

Which is why I get to do things like line up 50 Hot Wheels on the window sill.

Johnboyjjb
Johnboyjjb Reader
2/10/12 5:46 p.m.

I worked near a lady who would have hundreds of shortcuts on her desktop and when she needed one in specific she would pile them all up and move them from one pile to another until she found the one she was looking for. Usually she was leading meetings at the time so everybody in the room had to wait for her.

Or she would create tables with column headings and when asked not be able to say what the headings were.

And the worst, I can hear her all the time volunteering me for work when the only thing we share in common is a cube wall. She isn't responsible for me and doesn't know my skill sets or my work load but she will send people to me all the time. Most people know to ask me if I can do the work but some times I get angry phone calls asking why haven't done something that I never agreed to do and was never even told about.

Derick Freese
Derick Freese Dork
2/10/12 5:49 p.m.

My former manager just called me and told me I bailed from the call center at the right time...

Will
Will Dork
2/10/12 5:59 p.m.

One day a former coworker was really freaking out because he couldn't find some important file. I volunteered to help, and asked what his saved file destination was. He didn't know. So I saved a random file in Word just to see where it would go--it went to the desktop.

I minimized all his windows to see the desktop, and mother of God, he saved every file he ever opened to the desktop. Icons were literally stacked dozens deep, one on top of the other, so that you couldn't even read the file names. I think I just said something like "Dude...you can't work like this."

It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen on a computer.

JThw8
JThw8 SuperDork
2/10/12 6:14 p.m.
Will wrote: One day a former coworker was really freaking out because he couldn't find some important file. I volunteered to help, and asked what his saved file destination was. He didn't know. So I saved a random file in Word just to see where it would go--it went to the desktop. I minimized all his windows to see the desktop, and mother of God, he saved every file he ever opened to the desktop. Icons were literally stacked dozens deep, one on top of the other, so that you couldn't even read the file names. I think I just said something like "Dude...you can't work like this." It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen on a computer.

Reminds me of when I used to work support. Got a call from a user who wanted to clean up her files and her son, either messing with her or because he was an idiot told her to just move everything she didnt use to a folder she didnt use so she wouldn't loose it if she needed it but she wouldn't see it. What folder did he recommend? The 'start up' folder. Then when she rebooted it tried to run every program/open every file and crashed the machine every time. It was stunning.

Apexcarver
Apexcarver SuperDork
2/10/12 6:16 p.m.
Will wrote: One day a former coworker was really freaking out because he couldn't find some important file. I volunteered to help, and asked what his saved file destination was. He didn't know. So I saved a random file in Word just to see where it would go--it went to the desktop. I minimized all his windows to see the desktop, and mother of God, he saved every file he ever opened to the desktop. Icons were literally stacked dozens deep, one on top of the other, so that you couldn't even read the file names. I think I just said something like "Dude...you can't work like this." It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen on a computer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8_Kfjo3VjU

Sounds familiar, lol

Snowdoggie
Snowdoggie Dork
2/10/12 6:25 p.m.
stuart in mn wrote: I like having an office with a door.

Me too, but since I'm one of those pedigreed dogs with papers on the wall, nobody wants to room with me anyway. When I get stressed, I chew on the couch.

turboswede
turboswede SuperDork
2/10/12 7:05 p.m.

Yeah, i've worked i cubicles for quite a while. There are parts of it that just plain sucks.

Right now, most of the people around me are pretty chill. The lady on the otherside of the wall from me is just annoying as all get out. She routinely talks, out loud, about people's medical conditions (including her own) announces when she's leaving her cubicle (to use the rest room or go to lunch, etc) leaves her cell phone ringer on and walks away from it, etc.

Of course you can't call her on her crap because she'll go all apeE36 M3 on you and you'll be her enemy for life.

The poor guys on the other side of the wall from me were the first to feel her wrath when the hand-scanners they were programming (for their jobs) were beeping as the software loads. She complained and they had to move to a lab space. Meanwhile her iPhone still rings off the hook.

Had a co-worker fly up from the bay area earlier this week to help me with a project. His first comment to me at lunch on his first day was, "whats the deal with the lady in the cubicle next to you? She seems really grumpy..."

"Yeah. Yeah she is."

Of course she's on par with my old boss (same job and cubicle, he got fired when IT was outsourced, I went from a contractorfor the customer to a FTE for the outsourced firm) Anyway, he was pretty inept as a boss, but the worst part was his use of cologne. He used so much that people complained to HR. His scent would linger for hours after he left. Between that and being a charicature of what the typical automatic corvette owner from southern Florida might look like and you'd have it pretty well nailed down.

T.J.
T.J. SuperDork
2/11/12 7:42 a.m.

I live in a cubicle at work. There are about 9 of us in an engineering group and we are intermixed with cost people, schedule people, and a sub contracts guy. They all pretty much sit at their desks and work on their own. We talk to each other, sometime loudly, sometimes across others cubes. I guess we are "those guys", but the nature of our work requires collaboration and there is not time to always walk around the place whispering to each other. My boss is in the process of getting hearing aids, but doesn't have them yet. As a result he talks very loudly in an effort to hear himself I guess. We must not be too loud come to think of it because the subcontracts guy can sometimes be spotted catching a nap after lunch.

Trans_Maro
Trans_Maro Dork
2/11/12 10:37 a.m.

WTF is a cubicle?

mistanfo
mistanfo SuperDork
2/13/12 10:38 a.m.

I currently drive a 26' box truck. A warehouse employee approached me asking if I wanted an assistant (no). He then said "we could be like cubicle pals!". It was all I could do to not laugh in his face.

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair SuperDork
2/13/12 12:08 p.m.

at various times in my career, i have either asked or flat out told cubemates:

  • Chew with your mouth shut. The sight and sound of it makes it very difficult for me to contentrate on not vomiting.
  • Take that cell phone outside. You're planning your vacation on work time, isn't that stealing enough from the company without simultaneously distracting all your coworkers?
  • Back up before I punch you in the nuts. There is no reason for you to stand that close to my chair.

The last one is the only one I think was even remotely close to going too far. But I hated that guy and totally would've punched him in the nuts if he didn't back up.

Javelin
Javelin GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
2/13/12 12:12 p.m.
DukeOfUndersteer wrote:

Needs more wingback.

MG Bryan
MG Bryan Dork
2/13/12 12:17 p.m.
Trans_Maro wrote: WTF is a cubicle?

A place where people's souls die.

CGLockRacer
CGLockRacer GRM+ Memberand HalfDork
2/13/12 12:23 p.m.
MG Bryan wrote:
Trans_Maro wrote: WTF is a cubicle?
A place where people surf GRM forums instead of working.

FTFY

CGLockRacer
CGLockRacer GRM+ Memberand HalfDork
2/13/12 12:23 p.m.
MG Bryan wrote:
Trans_Maro wrote: WTF is a cubicle?
A place where people surf GRM forums instead of working.

FTFY

DukeOfUndersteer
DukeOfUndersteer SuperDork
2/13/12 3:02 p.m.

If this guy does not stop whistling, im gonna rip his berkeleying lips off his berkeleying face and shove it down his throat!!!!!!!!

turboswede
turboswede SuperDork
2/13/12 4:24 p.m.

I would blow air in his face every time he whistles until he stops. Preferrably with a can of air attached to an airhorn or after eating at the local Indian place.

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