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SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 12:31 p.m.

In reply to Beer Baron :

Nascar, Cars, Drawing cars

Beer Baron
Beer Baron MegaDork
6/3/22 12:34 p.m.
SpeedwayFan said:

In reply to Beer Baron :

Nascar, Cars, Drawing cars

What about Nascar and Cars interests you?

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 12:35 p.m.

In reply to Beer Baron :

I just like cars and I like how fast nascar is

barefootcyborg5000
barefootcyborg5000 PowerDork
6/3/22 12:40 p.m.

Don't be in such a hurry. Don't try to force it. Work on yourself and don't worry about what other people might have to say. Invest early. 
Unfortunately, I had good people around me telling me all this stuff and I still didn't listen. 

Say "no" more. Say "yes" more too. No, because folks will always try to take advantage of you, even if they don't realize it. Yes, because you'll have opportunities that may only come once, and you may get to connect with some truly incredible people. 

Beer Baron
Beer Baron MegaDork
6/3/22 12:44 p.m.

In reply to SpeedwayFan :

Okay... I'm going to ask slightly personal questions. I'm just a random dude on the internet. You do NOT have to answer these...

Do you have access to trained mental health professionals? Can you see a psychiatrist? Does your family have insurance or money that can provide that, or do you live where there are socialized services? Is your home life situation one where you can talk to your parents about getting a professional mental health evaluation from a psychiatrist?

Have you looked into if you have underlying cognitive or mental health issues?

Many people I know who have had experiences such as yours have an underlying condition. If that is your case, knowing that and what it is may be the first step.

Otherwise... High School really really sucks. Life gets a lot better after high school, especially for people who don't quite fit in.

Nicole Suddard
Nicole Suddard GRM+ Memberand Marketing Coordinator
6/3/22 12:45 p.m.

In reply to SpeedwayFan :

It seems like you feel pretty fatalistic about your chances of socializing with people. That's understandable - the end of the school year is a super weird time, kind of like falling off the edge of a social cliff.

It looks like you're mostly reaching out to online communities. That makes sense, but it can be socially messy. People communicate differently online than they do in real life, and it's more difficult to make close connections. If people are responding negatively to how you're behaving in online forums, take some time to self-reflect on what they responded negatively to, and remember that next time you try to communicate. Being unfriendly online can be a tempting impulse because of the usual lack of social repercussions. And you may not even realize your words are coming accross that way. But generally (speaking from experience), people get tired of negativity, and that goes double for the real world. There's value in reflecting on and learning from negative social outcomes.

On a very serious note and (again) speaking from personal experience, if things in your life really feel negative all the time, I highly recommend reaching out for help. If you see a primary care doctor, ask them to do a mental health screening. They will ask you questions about how you feel about your life from day to day. Answer those questions with extreme honesty. Until I had a doctor who did one of these screenings for me, I was literally walking around with severe depression for over a decade without realizing things could be better. I look back at my social media posts from when I was in high school and think "damn, I needed HELP." I just thought it was "my normal", and I didn't know it could be better. It absolutely can be better.

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 12:45 p.m.

In reply to Beer Baron :

Well my mom's contacted multiple therapists like 2 months ago and hasn't heard back

Beer Baron
Beer Baron MegaDork
6/3/22 12:50 p.m.
SpeedwayFan said:

In reply to Beer Baron :

Well my mom's contacted multiple therapists like 2 months ago and hasn't heard back

Okay! That's good. Even if it's not the result you want, at least it means your parents aren't going to fight you seeking mental health help.

Can you talk to a counselor or nurse at your school who can make a referral? Can you talk to a primary care doctor who can make a referral?

As Nicole pointed out, a regular Dr. can do a screening. They can usually then make an official referral.

It sucks, but sometimes you have to do the legwork yourself. I know that's not fair.

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 12:52 p.m.

In reply to Beer Baron :

Don't even know when my next doctor's appointment is. Also the school year is basically over. Oh and the therapist is because I misbehave too much at home.

pres589 (djronnebaum)
pres589 (djronnebaum) UltimaDork
6/3/22 12:52 p.m.

In reply to SpeedwayFan :

How to date.  How to not take things so seriously / personally.  How to not get so hung up on having "a good job" right away.  

Basically all interpersonal skills and ways of accepting the unknown about myself and the world. 

Beer Baron
Beer Baron MegaDork
6/3/22 12:57 p.m.
SpeedwayFan said:

In reply to Beer Baron :

Don't even know when my next doctor's appointment is. Also the school year is basically over. Oh and the therapist is because I misbehave too much at home.

Basically over isn't over yet. You only need a chance to talk to someone who can make a referral.

Can you ask your parents to schedule a check up for you?

Why your parents want to send you to a therapist isn't as important as actually seeing them. They've seen situations like your's before. They're not going to judge you. They're almost certainly on your side.

I have been there.

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 12:58 p.m.

In reply to Beer Baron :

After today I'm at school next monday tuesday and wednesday from 7:20 am to 11 am and then I'm home. Then it's summer

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 12:58 p.m.

In reply to Beer Baron :

Besides my parents won't believe me that I need a checkup

Pete. (l33t FS)
Pete. (l33t FS) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
6/3/22 1:03 p.m.

The girls are just as awkward and self conscious as you are.

College grants and scholarships are a thing and there are hundreds of them.  They even can pay for living expenses.

 

Nicole Suddard
Nicole Suddard GRM+ Memberand Marketing Coordinator
6/3/22 1:04 p.m.

In reply to SpeedwayFan :

Are you able to contact a therapist or even your primary care doctor on your own? I know you mentioned that you don't have a phone. Would you be able to send an email to your primary care doctor about your concerns and find out when your next appointment is/make an appointment sooner about it? Usually doctors are a bit more responsive about these things when approached directly by a patient saying "hey, I think I really need your help". They may be able to help impress the urgency of this help on your mom, too, who might be more focused on the misbehaving than on your struggles that aren't as visible to her.

Not trying to pry, just genuinely trying to help you find a workaround for your current situation.
 

Beer Baron
Beer Baron MegaDork
6/3/22 1:04 p.m.
SpeedwayFan said:

In reply to Beer Baron :

After today I'm at school next monday tuesday and wednesday from 7:20 am to 11 am and then I'm home. Then it's summer

During break or lunch, go to the nurses or counselor's office. Talk to them. Explain the situation. Ask them to help you schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist or therapist.

Do your parents have health insurance?

Seriously - you've said a lot of negative things about yourself. I won't say you're not a bit of a PITA, but that hardly makes you unique among this group. And we're all adults who can drive ourselves to the Dr. The issues you have sound more like "not getting it" than "a-hole who takes pleasure in the suffering of others."

This is solvable. Being a teenager sucks. High school sucks. You can get through this.

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 1:05 p.m.

In reply to Beer Baron :

When we have breaks during the testing we can't leave the testing room

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 1:05 p.m.

In reply to Nicole Suddard :

I don't know my doctors email

Beer Baron
Beer Baron MegaDork
6/3/22 1:10 p.m.
SpeedwayFan said:

In reply to Beer Baron :

When we have breaks during the testing we can't leave the testing room

You don't get lunch breaks or anything?

Your Dr. probably uses an online portal like MyChart. Can you ask your parents if you can have the login information so that you can ask your doctor a medical question?

Duke
Duke MegaDork
6/3/22 1:10 p.m.

I graduated high school in 1982.  Here's my perspective, in no particular order:

  • Most of the people and events and things that seem life-defining right now, you probably won't even think about in 5 years and will barely remember at all in 20.
     
  • We are not on the edge of extinction.  Never have been in recorded history; never will be in the foreseeable future.
     
  • Life goes on.  Even yours.
     
  • Public speaking isn't as hard as it feels.
     
  • Everyone is trying to sell you something - products, advertising views, their own self-image, ideas, agendas, something.  That's actually OK, as long as you recognize it and let that understanding temper your interactions.
     
  • There will be good music made after you graduate from high school.  Listen for it.
     
  • You will most likely find someone.  And if you don't, that's absolutely fine too.
     
  • Pay attention to how you look, smell, and sound.  But don't necessarily pay attention to what others think about those things.
     
  • Learn how to read with comprehension and how to write clearly.  Those two things alone will get you farther than half the people you meet.
     
  • There are no "good old days".  Things are getting better, not worse.

Hopefully some of that is of some value.

 

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 1:12 p.m.

In reply to Beer Baron :

Ok first off yes we don't get lunch breaks and 2nd My doctor doesn't use an online portal and if I say that I wanna ask my doctor a medical question then my parents are just gonna ask me what the question is they don't let me keep secrets from them

aircooled
aircooled MegaDork
6/3/22 1:14 p.m.
SpeedwayFan said:

In reply to Teh E36 M3 :

apparently every time I speak it's annoying someone so I guess that qualifies as a talent

Tweak that a bit to funny... and you have talent at least some might enjoy.

Start studying comedians (e.g. Seinfeld could be considered a bit "anoying")

Sonic
Sonic UberDork
6/3/22 1:17 p.m.

Unless something is an obviously really terrible/illegal/immoral idea, then say yes, take chances, and go places.  There's very little I wish I hadn't done, but plenty that I wish that I had done. Being young and unattached and unencumbered by life is the time.  

Nicole Suddard
Nicole Suddard GRM+ Memberand Marketing Coordinator
6/3/22 1:17 p.m.

In reply to SpeedwayFan :

Sorry, just realizing "contacting my own doctor" is not something I would have known how to do at your age either. 

- Google your doctor, they (or the facility they practice at) probably have a website with a Contact Us page.

- Even if you can't get directly to your doctor, you can probably reach their office staff somehow, and they'll pass the message on to your doctor.

- If there's no email address, you may need to borrow a phone to call them, but let them know that phone isn't one they can call you back on and you need them to communicate with you via email. They almost definitely have email, there are just problems that come with posting email addresses on public websites.

I know this seems like a lot. The medical system sucks. But your health and your future are worth the effort.

SpeedwayFan
SpeedwayFan New Reader
6/3/22 1:17 p.m.

In reply to aircooled :

I asked my mom if she thinks I could be a comedian and she said no 

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