Wife Receipt

I spent a lot of money at the bike shop this week. When I was checking out, they asked if I wanted a Wife Receipt. 
 

Wife Receipt?

"Yeah, we can either leave it blank or just put any number you want on it."

My local bike shop will charge you a deposit so that you can pick up the bike with your wife and pay the balance ... The balance being the "whole price". 

At the yarn shop last weekend with my wife.  They have one of those tchotchke signs saying "Your husband called - he said to buy all the yarn you want."  She has also told me stories about women stuffing their couch cushions with yarn to hide it from their husbands.

How about we all just put on our adult pants and be honest with each other and make reasonable, informed decisions together?

Sound like a plan?

In reply to Duke :

Because that's when the divorce happens. Adults aren't capable of adulting. 

^This

People can't understand how the wife unit and I manage with separate bank accounts.

The bills are paid, there's food in the fridge and the lights are on. After that, I don't care what she does with her money and vice versa.

Huh, my wife handles all money, she tells me what I can spend. I have always been able to buy what I want and the lights have never been shut off. If I was in charge...

ShawnG said:

^This

People can't understand how the wife unit and I manage with separate bank accounts.

The bills are paid, there's food in the fridge and the lights are on. After that, I don't care what she does with her money and vice versa.

 

This is how it was with my ex-wife, we never fought about money. She's my ex because she turned into a filthy tramp once she started traveling for work.

Current girlfriend and I have the same arrangement. It can be a bit strained at times just because I make so much more than her and I want to make sure she still has money to treat herself.

I came in here thinking your wife came with a receipt so you could return her if desired.

Duke said:

At the yarn shop last weekend with my wife.  They have one of those tchotchke signs saying "Your husband called - he said to buy all the yarn you want."  She has also told me stories about women stuffing their couch cushions with yarn to hide it from their husbands.

How about we all just put on our adult pants and be honest with each other and make reasonable, informed decisions together?

Sound like a plan?

 

My only regret is I that have but one upvote to give.

Duke said:

At the yarn shop last weekend with my wife.  They have one of those tchotchke signs saying "Your husband called - he said to buy all the yarn you want."  She has also told me stories about women stuffing their couch cushions with yarn to hide it from their husbands.

How about we all just put on our adult pants and be honest with each other and make reasonable, informed decisions together?

Sound like a plan?

 

Word...  Make a budget that everyone can live with, and be clear about needs vs. wants.  Needs should be accounted for in the budget.  They're a need.  You must pay them. If you don't, you live in a van down by the river with no electricity.  Savings are a need.

After that, it's pretty easy to divvy up the "wants."  I recommend a no questions asked "racecar" fund, but, ya know, YMMV. 

Duke said:

At the yarn shop last weekend with my wife.  They have one of those tchotchke signs saying "Your husband called - he said to buy all the yarn you want."  She has also told me stories about women stuffing their couch cushions with yarn to hide it from their husbands.

<snip>

TIL that yarn can be considered such a decadent & guilty luxury that it drives spouses to fiscal dishonesty.

ShawnG said:

^This

People can't understand how the wife unit and I manage with separate bank accounts.

The bills are paid, there's food in the fridge and the lights are on. After that, I don't care what she does with her money and vice versa.

 

That being said, my wife and I have a joint bank account. There's never been a fight about money. All the bills get paid. If there's anything left over it goes into savings. If savings reach a certain, agreed upon amount. We split it and buy ourselves something nice. 
 

the arguing over bills is pointless. If someone isn't capable of budgeting correctly, they don't get to be the banker. It's just like Monopoly board game. 

if the bread winner isn't making enough to cover the bills, then the other person BETTER be job hunting. You don't get to complain when you aren't assisting the issue. 

arguing over "who" gets the spend "what" is also stupid and childish. It's a TEAM effort, therefore, the TEAM decides. If the team can't decide, they split it evenly.
 

I don't understand how it can be so difficult. 15yrs of marriage, not one fight about money ever. And I married at 22yrs old. So we were not "mature" by any means. 

pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) said:

Huh, my wife handles all money, she tells me what I can spend. I have always been able to buy what I want and the lights have never been shut off. If I was in charge...

This is me. #noshame

barefootskater (Shaun) said:

pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) said:

Huh, my wife handles all money, she tells me what I can spend. I have always been able to buy what I want and the lights have never been shut off. If I was in charge...

This is me. #noshame

berkeleying A! This is our house. And dammit,  i like it like that. 

Matt B (fs) said:

I came in here thinking your wife came with a receipt so you could return her if desired.

Mine came with a strict no return policy - 17 years late she is the single best thing that has ever happened to me.  All good.  It did take a while to settlw into our financial groove as her parents were weord about money.  We are real about money - honesty and the the need to tell someone if you are about to drop some coin on something.  Our unofficial, say something number is $100.

DW and I do not have separate finances.  It all goes in the same pot.  The bills get paid out of that pot and the rest goes into savings.  We do have separate retirement accounts but only because we each have employer-backed savings programs.  We also have combined retirement accounts and we do not consider the separate accounts as "mine" and "yours", but just another part of the big "ours" picture.

We trust each other to make smart decisions.  We don't have any formal arrangement, but we consult with each other before buying anything biggish, particularly if it is for play versus need.  If one of the street cars needs tires I'll say "I'm buying tires for the van, it will be about $800 till they're on the car," and she will thank me for letting her know without any further discussion.  I told her I wanted to spend $250 on a helmet this year as a courtesy, not as an application for funding.  No problem there either.

I've thought long and hard about dropping $1300 on autocross rubber for the Miata... and ultimately decided the value added is not worth that much expense.  Which means when I do bring her a request to spend $700 on 200TW tires instead, she trusts my decision and doesn't so much grant 'permission' as encourage me to have fun with it.

It ain't that difficult.  It doesn't mean you can't have anything just for fun.  It just requires you to be grown ups about it.

I will say one good thing about my ex wife.

Just one

We never had much money, but she was always totally chill that I wanted a $500 Pontiac that didn't run, or a $200 set of seats for an old Maverick we once had.  She wasn't much of a typical wife in the financial aspect.  Although, she also wasn't a typical wife in the not-being-a-lesbian aspect either, but I digress.

ShawnG said:

^This

People can't understand how the wife unit and I manage with separate bank accounts.

The bills are paid, there's food in the fridge and the lights are on. After that, I don't care what she does with her money and vice versa.

 

That IS wearing adult pants.  So is having a joint account and being honest with money.

Having joint finances and lying to your partner is dumb.  I am ashamed at number of car guys I have met that do this.

Matt B (fs) said:

Duke said:

At the yarn shop last weekend with my wife.  They have one of those tchotchke signs saying "Your husband called - he said to buy all the yarn you want."  She has also told me stories about women stuffing their couch cushions with yarn to hide it from their husbands.

TIL that yarn can be considered such a decadent & guilty luxury that it drives spouses to fiscal dishonesty.

Really nice, high-quality fibers (merino wool, alpaca, silk blends, etc) can run $0.50 per gram and up (a gram is anywhere from 2-4 yards, depending on spin).  A woman's sweater in nice yarn that an avid hand knitter would enjoy working with can be $150-$250 in materials, especially if hand dyed.

In reply to ShawnG :

Same here. We have a joint account for bills and the mortgage. Otherwise we have our own accounts. So far, so good. She built out her exercise room and I bought a motorcycle. Win-win.

Duke said:

DW and I do not have separate finances.  It all goes in the same pot.  The bills get paid out of that pot and the rest goes into savings.  We do have separate retirement accounts but only because we have each have employer-backed savings programs.  We also have combined retirement accounts and we do not consider the separate accounts as "mine" and "yours", but just another part of the big "ours" picture.

We trust each other to make smart decisions.  We don't have any formal arrangement, but we consult with each other before buying anything biggish, particularly if it is for play versus need.  If one of the street cars needs tires I'll say "I'm buying tires for the van, it will be about $800 till they're on the car," and she will thank me for letting her know without any further discussion.  I told her I wanted to spend $250 on a helmet this year as a courtesy, not as an application for funding.  No problem there either.

I've thought long and hard about dropping $1300 on autocross rubber for the Miata... and ultimately decided the value added is not worth that much expense.  Which means when I do bring her a request to spend $700 on 200TW tires instead, she trusts my decision and doesn't so much grant 'permission' as encourage me to have fun with it.

It ain't that difficult.  It doesn't mean you can't have anything just for fun.  It just requires you to be grown ups about it.

 

We have a similar setup and philosophy. Only difference is we have our own checking accounts for "whatever the berkeley we want".  Those personal accounts are fed from the central account and is what is left over after bills, savings, and plenty of padding.  Works great and ignores the difference in our incomes.

You also schooled me for a second time today on the wild world of yarn.

In reply to Woody (Forum Supportum) :

Our sales guys used to get separate checks for base pay, commissions, and expenses and he would scam his wife on the commission check and do a little gambling on the side. Then it ended.  

In reply to Matt B (fs) :

Yarn is like just like car parts - there are cheap and serviceable alternatives, and expensive, custom pieces that theoretically serve the same function.  If you get 100% man-made acrylic Red Heart from A C Moore you can knit a tent for $20.  But it will feel terrible to work with and wear.  Higher quality sourced, artisanally crafted natural fibers feel so much better in the working and against the skin.

Frankly, if you're knitting to save money you are better off going to Old Navy and buying a $20 sweater.  The real investment in hand knits is time, dozens or even hundreds of hours.  So skimping on the quality of yarn to save $50 or $75 in materials just isn't worth it.

Matt B (fs) said:

I came in here thinking your wife came with a receipt so you could return her if desired.

Since I know that I never got one of those, I figured it must be the receipt given to her with the marriage certificates, allowing me to be returned.

Either way, getting a 'wife receipt' (or hiding yarn in the couch cushions) is a good indication that one or the other may be submitting for a 'return' be in the future.

"wife receipt" is something for those guys who need to have a "man cave"

"look, I have this little part of my house that my wife lets me do stuff with! can we grunt and chest bump now?"