Wife Receipt

Yes.

I've seen enough wives treat their husbands like little kids to understand why some husbands do that.

Mrs. P makes $7k a year. It goes into her account and it's her money to keep. Fancy lunches out with the girls (her thing, not mine), my birthday, the occasional dinner out and gas in her car when she's working, about half the year. I pay for everything else. I don't do housework, though I cook whenever I'm home, about half the time. It's a fair trade off as far as we're both concerned. I handle the money but we have equal access. If she sees something she wants, usually a trip, she books it, and does so re$ponsibly. If I see something I want, a bike, a car, parts, I buy it. Anything expensive or extravagant, we discuss it. We're adults. It mostly works because we really haven't changed the way we live day to day when the kids were in school, I was the only income as an apprentice and we were poor.  That gives us substantial leeway

If you need a wife receipt, you've got bigger problems. 

I have never lied to SWMBO. I might not have told her everything,  but everything I have told is the truth. 

Duke said:

In reply to Matt B (fs) :

Yarn is like just like car parts - there are cheap and serviceable alternatives, and expensive, custom pieces that theoretically serve the same function.  If you get 100% man-made acrylic Red Heart from A C Moore you can knit a tent for $20.  But it will feel terrible to work with and wear.  Higher quality sourced, artisanally crafted natural fibers feel so much better in the working and against the skin.

Frankly, if you're knitting to save money you are better off going to Old Navy and buying a $20 sweater.  The real investment in hand knits is time, dozens or even hundreds of hours.  So skimping on the quality of yarn to save $50 or $75 in materials just isn't worth it.

 

My wife made a pair of socks that needed two $40 skeins. They are soft though...

I feel very fortunate that my wife and I are great friends and genuinely enjoy doing most things together, including racing.  
 

The downside is that there are no checks and balances in our house.   Do you want to swap a K24 in the Civic? Yes.  How about getting a super car? Yes.  Let's go to this race in California.  Yes.  I think this pimp ass Stilo helmet is what I need.  Yes. Fortunately we both do pretty well and have no kids.  

This "wife receipt" thing is a lot more common than you might think. When I was taking phone orders at FM, I got a lot of "secret credit cards" and concern about what charge would show up where. I hate to think how much marital discord was caused by purchases of our parts.

My wife is a lot better with money than I am, and she's a smart woman.  I talk with her before I make major purchases not because I "have to", because I value her opinion.  As far as I can recall, she's never thrown out a hard "no" on any purchases, including some sort of dumb/unnecessary ones.  The few times she's said "I don't think that's a good idea" and I've plowed ahead anyway, I've usually lived to regret it.  Not only is she a smart woman, she knows me pretty well.  I tend to be a bit "oooh, shiny!" when it comes to spending money.  She's usually able to size up whether I'll actually enjoy/like/use something that has caught my eye even better than I can.  She was actually the one who suggested my first Miata purchase, for example.  I always figure keeping stuff from her is just missing out on valuable feedback.

Reminds me of my college roommate. Told me he went to a strip club in TX and got some cash.. the CC statement said "western wear". Took him a while to figure it out. 

My wife and I have a combined account for bills, gas, food, etc. Then seperate accounts we put an agreed amount in each month that we can spend however we want. 

When I was married to my ex, she managed all the money.  I got an "allowance" each week and the bills were always paid.  But in hindsight, while I would bring it up if I wanted to spend more than $100 on something, she would often make $500-$1000 purchases without consulting me.  

After the divorce I knew I didn't want to ever be left on the short end again financially and in my new relationship our finances are separate.  She gives me a certain amount of money each month to cover her share of household expenses and otherwise we earn and spend our own money.  I pay for my toys from my own money.  I'll mention it to her but only as a courtesy, that's how I have a zoomboni, turbo Miata, and supercharged Fiero all at the same time.

Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) said:

 She wasn't much of a typical wife in the financial aspect.  Although, she also wasn't a typical wife in the not-being-a-lesbian aspect either, but I digress.

Actually, you aren't the only person I know who's wife decided her orientation in a similar manner. 
 

If something is too good to be true (in....finances) it probably is.

One main account, two separate play money accounts we have no say over to the other partner. It's been the secret of our financial success for over 27 years.

As to the 'man cave', I do have one. Though I am not a soy boy who is 'allowed' to have a room of my own it's simply a place in the house where no estrogen-based decor is permitted. IDGAF what she does in the rest of the house but my 'space' is where all the car, bike and football art gets hung. Oh, and the motorcycles parked. Yes, in the house.

Oh, and I never use the SWMBO term. You think the term 'man cave' is displaying low value...

ShawnG said:

^This

People can't understand how the wife unit and I manage with separate bank accounts.

The bills are paid, there's food in the fridge and the lights are on. After that, I don't care what she does with her money and vice versa.

 

Pretty much how my wife and I are.  She is better with money and Ive offered to combine accounts.  She insisted they stay separate as like when I need to buy car parts, or if she needs to buy something and it wont take away one from another or prevent a bill being paid.

Wife and I have basically separate everything.

• Joint checking that pays for house stuff.  I owned the house before I met her, so I paid the down payment and the first 3 or 4 years of mortgage.  When she moved in we refinanced to an aggressive 10 year mortgage, so it will be nice to have the crap shack paid off in 4 years or so now.  
• Separate slush funds for everything else
• Separate retirements (employer funded and she has a weird one due to her work)
• Separate savings
• Separate CDs/IRAs/etc.
• She pays the Costco bill
• I pay the groceries/fuel oil/water/internet bills
• I pay the car insurance - full disclosure it was basically even money to add her Kia Optima to my Viper and Land Cruiser policy so that was a net savings.  
• We pay for our own vehicles, although I am trying to give her the Land Cruiser so I can go get a new Super Duty.  If I did that I would ask to trade her Kia in on the Super Duty.
• For vacations we will usually split the airfare/lodging.  Ill buy the airfare and car rentals (I want dem points) and she buys the lodging.  Incidentals on the trip I usually pay for.  

Works well.  I make a bit more than she does, but I spend a lot more.  If I want something extravagant at Costco its not uncommon for me to give her some cash in the checkout aisle.  I think a lot of this comes from your financial state when you got married.  We were both functioning adults with real jobs in our 30s and never needed to pool our resources.  

We are solidly on the "Dave Ramsey method" for marriage and money. Works for us and while I don't understand others doing things separately.. I have no need to judge them. You do what works in your life. 

I think the important thing is, regardless of who controls the money, joint accounts, separate spending, whatever, the important thing is for any of it to work, both people involved have to agree on it. That's the only way it seems to work.

Matt B (fs) said:

I came in here thinking your wife came with a receipt so you could return her if desired.

My mother in law offered another daughter to replace mine but I told her I'm looking into short term rentals for now. 

Our solution was to have four kids, two dogs, and a project house. After the bills are paid and retirement is funded, there's no money left to argue about!

While everyone has different methods and they all work depending on the people and the situation count me in the separate accounts camp.  We've been together 18 years, she has her money, I have my money.   She can do what she wants, I can do what I want.  We're adults, capable of making good decisions.  We'll often confer with each other about larger purchases but because we respect each other's advice, not because we need permission.

I recall about 10 years ago wife was out for the day with friends so I went to look at some cars that interested me just for giggles.  Fell in love with the one and texted the wife a photo of my new car.  Her friend lost her E36 M3 that I would go buy a car without her "permission" or her getting to have any say in it.  She just responded, I dont drive it, I dont pay for it, why should I care?

Wally (Forum Supporter) said:

Matt B (fs) said:

I came in here thinking your wife came with a receipt so you could return her if desired.

My mother in law offered another daughter to replace mine but I told her I'm looking into short term rentals for now. 

If it floats, berks, or flys, its cheaper to rent than buy.

I control the finances.... my wife doesn't know how much we have so we aren't allowed to spend money. She doesn't know if we have $1 or $1 million and she doesn't care to know.  Works pretty well for me since I don't need much to be happy and it keeps us both from spending on things that clutter up the house. 
 

It does annoy me a little when she complains about me spending $5 on guacamole at the grocery store. I still do it because I do the grocery shopping. 
 

edit: it's definitely nice when life's questions changed from what can we afford to what do we actually need?

Wifey and I get along well here except she's a rounder.  

She will buy something and tell me it was $90.  I then say you mean $99 .99 plus sales tax so it's really $109.00?  Minor detail she says.  
 

If you fight about money it means someone is spending too much.

It's not like it's hard to not spend too much and both of you to be on the same page.

My wife does the household management, since I bring in most (and since Covid, all) of the income. She tracks and manages the accounts. 
 

We manage fine, partly since she's my biggest enabler.

That's not necessarily a good thing. 
 

If she'd said no to all of the boats, the supercharged Tacoma, the Miatas, the WRX, and a whole lot of fishing tackle I might have my student loans paid off. 

JThw8 said:

I recall about 10 years ago wife was out for the day with friends so I went to look at some cars that interested me just for giggles.  Fell in love with the one and texted the wife a photo of my new car.  Her friend lost her E36 M3 that I would go buy a car without her "permission" or her getting to have any say in it.  She just responded, I dont drive it, I dont pay for it, why should I care?

Those women are out there (and I'm sure some men, too) and are all too common.

Having the separate 'play money' accounts has really made it a non-issue. That, and I didn't hand my wife my balls at the wedding to carry in her purse for the rest of my life. My spouse is a partner in the business of life, not a replacement mommy. Being afraid of my spouse is just a totally foreign concept. "If I do that, my wife will be mad". What a miserable existence you must have.

Once we've pooled our money to pay the bills, invest, etc we each have a portion direct-deposited into an account for each of us. Neither knows how much the other has. I can't speak for her but I don't care what her balance is. I know what I have, and that's what I can spend on cars, motorcycles, tools and so on. I also use that money to do 'deals' and buy/sell motorized items to further increase my play money account. The latter part is the only thing she doesn't quite grasp. When I can suddenly buy a $8000 car and she only has a couple grand in her account she has trouble understanding how that is possible. The 'side hustle' thing never really has sunk in.

Andy Neuman said:

It does annoy me a little when she complains about me spending $5 on guacamole at the grocery store. 

That's because you should be making your own from scratch. It's 10x better and not difficult at all.