Started on May 28 by Wally (Forum Supporter)

Chevrolet Cavalier


!999 Cavalier Coupe, just like the one your wife’s hair dresser drove. 4 cylinders of cast iron goodness with 8-count em 8 Pushrods. That’s more than you can get in any Honda, Porsche, or even Ferrari today. All that fury is coupled to a three speed automated gearbox that gives you the power of a four, but the mileage of a V8. and I don’t have to worry about any pesky shifting so I never have to put down my burger OR beverage. try that in you EVo or STI. Chicks dig it because if you’re willing to be seen in it, well… of course my wife still can’t believe I don’t have a Corvette o Lambo or something. In her words, “If anyone should be compensating for something”.

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May 28, 2008, 3:20 p.m.

I have no love for Cavaliers, but gotta give Wally a vote just on the write-up alone, and cause he's such an all-around cool guy in general.

May 29, 2008, 6:43 p.m.

Hahaha I would also vote you up for the write-up but I think one's enough. Oh hell, I'll do it so more readers are attracted to this page trying to see what's so great about this Cavalier and have the pleasure of reading it.

May 29, 2008, 9:48 p.m.

Feel free to read and enjoy but please don't vote up, there are much better rides here that deserve the attention. If you need to click on a button it should be the down button.

May 31, 2008, 11:39 a.m.

Voted down by request, but a +1 on the description! Can you write mine Wally?

June 4, 2008, 6:36 p.m.

Voted like you ask ,yes nice write up. by the way when I want to shift with out my hands I'll tell my wife or daughter to shift for me. Some times its tricky becouse my daugher is almost 4 years old. but still I can eat or drink while I drive.

June 16, 2008, 6:05 p.m.

Wally I retracted my vote, too, which means at this point you probably have the widest votes to comments spread: 6:-1

July 7, 2008, 9:29 p.m.

Definitely not a track day car or a corner carver but that car will be running long after most foreign cars are traded in. No overhead cam, no timing belt, no fuss. The head gasket will seep for a long time without blowing completely. It's hard car to kill, perfect for a teenage driver. I am giving it a +.

July 27, 2008, 8:03 p.m.

Are we going for lowest rated?

Aug. 1, 2008, 9:36 a.m.

When you have a Cavalier you aim low

Sept. 10, 2008, 6:12 p.m.

LOL, love it.

Sept. 12, 2008, 5:57 a.m.

Dude. It's "Fashion Black". What more could you want? They don't call 'em Cadavaliers for nothing. And yeah, +111!1!!1!!!1 on the writeup. Wally rawks.

Sept. 24, 2008, 8:51 a.m.

Why can't I vote this down? This is the BEST writeup of one of the worst cars. Wally, you are a very funny man. :)

Sept. 30, 2008, 1:54 p.m.

After a run-in with some people abusing it over on Classic we removed the ability to vote down cars. So Wally will forever hold the title of lowest rated car ever.

Oct. 16, 2008, 6:23 p.m.

Well there's no way I'm going to vote it up and risk ruining the title of "Lowest Rated Car Ever", but if I still had the option of voting it down I would. Wally, you should totally write books. Reading your write up reminded me of classic Dave Barry.

Oct. 17, 2008, 1:57 a.m.

Write books? I don't have the attention span to hey, there's a blue jay on my window sill

Feb. 6, 2009, 4:19 p.m.

What is faster? The mail truck in the background or the Cavy?

Feb. 9, 2009, 3:54 p.m.

It's a close race but the mail truck is more comfortable

April 1, 2009, 3:40 p.m.

Try switching to AM radio, maybe the damn thing will catch on fire.

April 8, 2009, 7:41 a.m.

Where is the effing vote down button? Waldo you broke my reputer.

April 8, 2009, 11:14 a.m.

They were afraid of damaging my fragile self esteem

April 8, 2009, 12:16 p.m.

See my comment above. Some people just had to be jerks with it. I've noticed some folks have voted up your Cavalier, Wally. Somehow that leaves me both happy and sad.

April 8, 2009, 2:26 p.m.

Wally, I will not vote your ride up if you comply with the cash request in your PMs. Otherwise when I get done you will lose the coveted 'Lowest Rating EVAR' standing you currently enjoy. Don't make me come back here.

April 9, 2009, 7:16 a.m.

Your in luck. My long lost uncle nagiv passed away in Nigeria. I've got a little more red tape to cut through and probably some back taxes to pay, but as soon as I'm done your money will be forthcoming. Where is your closest Western Union?

April 9, 2009, 9:14 a.m.

You are making this difficult and don't blame it on your Nigerian uncle. PayPal, please. Remember, your coveted low man on the totem pole status is looking a little wobbly. My finger is hovering over the button.

April 23, 2009, 1 p.m.

At least he's winning "Most Comments" :P

April 23, 2009, 1:58 p.m.

i must resist the urge to vote up

May 13, 2009, 7:07 p.m.

Up vote after reading that whiner's post on the forum. And commented to help bump back to the top of the most comments list! Wally = good people

June 4, 2009, 4:26 p.m.

NNOOOOO! I'm sorry. I voted up before I read the comments. Gronk. I lose.

June 23, 2009, 9:09 a.m.

Cadavaliers makes me hott like transcendental transexual transmission technicians do.

Aug. 12, 2009, 12:33 p.m.

I bought an old cavalier for my wife to learn t o drive in. Painted it bright yellow so she'd be safe. The paint saved her at least two accidents and made it look like a taxi. A Mexican guy actually got in thinking it was a taxi. I destroyed its bearings in an experiment to see what happened if I did not change oil for 25,000 miles.

Oct. 26, 2009, 6:42 p.m.


Nov. 9, 2009, 8:31 p.m.

No GRM window banner to show off its incredible speed?

Nov. 9, 2009, 9:01 p.m.

It's in the back window, but noone ever sees that side

Nov. 25, 2009, 8:34 a.m.

Damn that was a good read, Wally, I think the only thing that could bring up your vote count is to remove those hubcaps and rock the steelies, you know you want to...

Jan. 1, 2010, 5:37 p.m.

I bought an old cavalier for my darling wife to learn to drive. I painted it bright yellow, resulting in it looking exactly like a taxi, especially with a cb antenna on the trunk lid. One guy even got in its back seat thinking it was a taxi. But the yellow color worked to prevent accidents, my wife reported the sound of locked up wheels twice as the slow yellow boxy taxi proceeded. Cop would follow it sometimes wondering why an empty taxi was out in the country. She insisted on no more yellow cars so I replaced it with a dark green echo.

Jan. 8, 2010, 7:45 a.m.

I'm so sad to see Wally's vote count is no longer in the negative numbers. Bring back the down vote!

Feb. 20, 2010, 11:19 a.m.

can no longer vote down?

April 15, 2010, 2:44 p.m.

It is now in the positive votes, what a sad day

May 29, 2010, 9:47 p.m.

I love Cavaliers. I own one and it whips up on my Porsche all day long. :-) Love the comment too, very nice Wally.

Dec. 13, 2013, 1:46 p.m.

Best description by a long shot....

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