I dragged a car back from VA with my wife's knowledge, but not really her consent. That was rough. I can't imagine the trouble you're going to be in.
I dragged a car back from VA with my wife's knowledge, but not really her consent. That was rough. I can't imagine the trouble you're going to be in.
My wife and I made a deal. She has no say in the cars I buy or drive as long as it doesn't impact the house finances. Usually I will tell her in advance, but sometimes not.
Good luck.
I got nothing... my g/f is as prone to irrational car purchases as I am... if not more so... I tend to agonize for weeks over buying something... she decides she wants X car, searches for one, and buys the first one she looks at. All 4 of her current cars were bought this way - only the 2003 MINI did she sleep on it.
sethmeister4 wrote: Humility & honesty. She's gonna be mad right off the bat no matter how you "spin" it, so don't pour salt in the wound by lying about it. If it was a bad financial decision to get it, maybe she should be mad.Get a game plan together for selling the truck, if that's what you truly intend to do, and do it.
QFT. This is the best advice I've seen here so far. Honesty truly is the best policy.
My car haibit is generally self supporting, car stuff pays for car stuff. But when we were still in the dating phase of our relationship I was pretty clear, this is what I do, this is my hobby, my addiction and at times my life.
It's never taken food off the table and has at times paid for much needed non-car related items when we were in a bind.
She's never complained about me bringing a car home (8 at the house currently) sure she may have complained the car was weird or ugly. She's definitely complained when I spend too much time on them but with good reason since that probably meant I was neglecting other things that needed done.
I've almost always discussed new acquisitions with her and she's never said no outright, but if she had, then I would have either tried to change her mind before the purchase, or I wouldn't have done it at all.
I can only say I would not want to be in your position.
jstein77 wrote:sethmeister4 wrote: Humility & honesty. She's gonna be mad right off the bat no matter how you "spin" it, so don't pour salt in the wound by lying about it. If it was a bad financial decision to get it, maybe she should be mad.QFT. This is the best advice I've seen here so far. Honesty truly is the best policy.
this.
there was one time i bought and sold 4 cars in one day. at the end of the day, i had a really PISSED wife. she is still mad about it years later, as i didnt respect or value her enough to include her.
my habit is usually self supporting as well. right now with the ACR purchase, im not, and i feel guilty about that. not taking food off the table, but it IS taking money out of the bank little dribbles at a time. my wife kind of understands, as im sick of the camry and the trans is demanufacturing itself.
short end is,
michael
JoeyM wrote: My ex told me that she could not live with someone who had three cars....it was a frivolous waste of money, etc. I started building a fourth.Yes, she's now an ex. Sometimes you have to make choices, though....
Say What?
The last driving school I attended I said to always build jewlery into the tire budget. The 3 time divorced instructor said that was the most valuble input he'd ever gotten. 30 years married this October.
the significant other pretty clearly told me not to
If you don't nip this in the bud sooner than later, you're in for either a miserable long term existence, or a short term marriage.
car39 wrote: The last driving school I attended I said to always build jewlery into the tire budget.
Or in my wife's case, purses 
Zomby Woof wrote:the significant other pretty clearly told me not toIf you don't nip this in the bud sooner than later, you're in for either a miserable long term existence, or a short term marriage.
QFT.
Someone needs to tell her that it's better to have you in the garage than at the bar.
My wife and I talk about everything, vehicle purchases included. She's always been more than reasonable (she's pushed me to purchase a couple of cars and has always helped with searching), so if she ever said "No" to something I'd listen. In most cases, we go through the same thought process, so I often come to the "No" conclusion on my own before I even ask her.
Unless you have a pre-existing agreement where you have separate bank accounts that the other person has no input about, I'd come clean and apologize quickly. When you choose your hobby over your wife, it's never a good thing for your marriage.
Yeah, I would never go so far as to make a purchase without talking about it first, or specifically doing it after "we" decided not to....and we even have separate accounts for everything.
God I'm glad I don't have this problem. All I got after I dragged the 5th car home was "I'm not insuring any more cars". I sort of understand though, I do have 3 dead cars parked in front of my apt building right now. But she's the one that said "Just buy the ms3, you're not going to be happy til you have one" and all I got was an "ok whatever" after I told her my buddy was on the way to pick me up so I could go buy the mx6.
In the end, honesty is the best policy. Lay out a clear line of thought as to why you bought it. Was it a screaming deal? Is there some sentimental value? Are you looking to cut a profit? The more of her arguments you can de-fuse, the better.
Or just get her REALLY drunk and claim she did it.
B430 wrote: I gave into my car guy needs and bought something the significant other pretty clearly told me not to.
Some of this stuff confuses me. Do you both work, both contribute to the budget, houshold needs, cleaning, maintenence, lawn care?
Is there a rational reason for not "allowing" you to have this? Money's tight, I'll buy that. Because I say so; not as much.
My neighbor brought home a vehicle his wife didn't know about and disapproved of. His pennance was to redo the kitchen while she went out with her girl friends for the weekend. My wife just doesn't get it either; "Why isn't she helping with a house she lives in and what's so wrong with a running, reliable but cheap vehicle?
My condolences but this is why we date. You find all this out before hand.
Dan
Yeah. The (now) wife knew my predeliction towards garbage cars beforehand when I showed her the dead DSM that I eventually scrapped. Nothings really changed, I just own more Mazdas now. She sure as hell can't complain though, because I've busted my ass at 2 jobs for 5+ years to make sure she made it through school.
It's not a financial hardship, no bills will be going unpaid because I bought it. I agree communication is best, she's out of town right now, there's a bit of a breakdown there at the moment.
I guess I'll just explain to her my logic, I can make more money at work, but no one is making 1962 falcons anymore.
You're doomed.
I'm feeling pretty lucky. SWMBO bought me my last car as a present.
KEEPER.
B430 wrote: It's not a financial hardship, no bills will be going unpaid because I bought it. I agree communication is best, she's out of town right now, there's a bit of a breakdown there at the moment. I guess I'll just explain to her my logic, I can make more money at work, but no one is making 1962 falcons anymore.
Best. Logic. Ever. They're still printing money, they're not stamping more Falcon panels.
Yeah, mine told me to swap a turbo motor into my race car. Glad she suggested it before I did, cause it was likely to happen anyway.
Your screwed. Man up and tell her ASAP. Take your beating and move on. Don't bring up other purchases made by her in the past etc. Just say that you did it and you know that she is going to be mad.
You usually only make this mistake once in a marriage. It will however be a learning / growing experience for both of you that hopefully in 20 years you will both look back and chuckle about.
Look at it this way it is not like left the window open in the basement and let a raccoon in like I did yesterday. Being married is fun.
Have it sitting in the driveway with a bow on it for when she gets home.
"Look what I bought for you honey"
Better to ask forgiveness than permission?
My wife is pretty tolerant of my car purchases. Hasn't been an issue in years because my budget (actually driveway) doesn't allow for any more projects though. But everytime I dragged home another rodent it got her blessing. She knows I'm pretty smart with my money and the fact that I'm a tech means I probably know what I got into.
You'll need to log in to post.
