Dumbest thing you've heard

Thanks.

mistanfo wrote: Thanks.

Not the fact that you said it. But the fact that it is true. The fact that you cannot get Canadian Bacon in Canada is truly ridiculous. It's fantastic!

Any time.

Yep, In canada it's called peameal or back bacon.

Check the archive...a couple of years ago there was a thread on this same subject (think it may have even had the exact same title) that went for twenty some pages. It's some seriously entertaining reading.

Carson wrote:

Finally, the emissions problem is solved!

Just a few comments:

I've owed a few late model cars with timing belts and interference engines. NO WHERE in the scheduled service manual did it ever say you should get the timing belt changed, much less "get it changed by XXXXX miles or you might kill your engine". For the average car owner, there is no timing belt, so why change it?

BTW, my sister had a Ford Maverick that overheated on a long trip. She was told she needed a new water pump. She was surprized to hear that as her last car didn't have one (and no, it wasn't air-cooled, she just didn't know what a water pump was/what it did).

As far as the morons at parts stores, on either side of the counter....I stopped at AutoZone one night to get a replacement radiator hose for my Integra. I work for Pizza Hut and as a consequence I wear a red shirt. SEVERAL people came up to me as I stood in line waiting to get my rad hose and asked me for car advice. They just connected a red shirt to A-Z employee. I got into a heated argument with a guy over whether those deer whistles keep deer from jumping in front of a vehicle.

Finally, just a few minutes ago, I saw a Honda Accord, a '94, advertised on Craigs with a 6 speed tranny. Why do folks think its a 6 speed....including reverse?

I've done some stupids myself. Like the time I was covering a major service with a customer, she wanted everything possible done to her Rodeo because she was giving it to her daughter. Okay, works for me. So I get her approval for everything, including an automatic transmisison service, we go over fluid and filter and all that. She's all about that, happy I recommended it. I get in the car...

... it's a 5 speed. :oops:

John Brown wrote:

joey48442 wrote:

Jay wrote: "It's got turbo in it!" - owner of an early '90s Chevy Lumina or something that definately was not equipped with any kind of forced induction. The only explanation I can think of is that he was referring to this. J

Not a lumina, but maybe they meant this: https://pontiworld.com.au/gtaemblems/images/GPturbo-Red.jpg Joey

The emblem goes on these: [...] and [... images snipped for brevity ...]

Sorry guys, that story relates back to when I was an auto tech, and that particular conversation occured after I'd finished changing the oil on the car in question. I don't remember which model it was but it was definately a non-sporty FWD GM 60° V6 with no forced induction.

The real amusing part was the way he said it, "it's got turbo in it" as if it were something you filled it up with from a bottle. He must have meant the washer fluid. It's the only explanation that doesn't destroy all my faith in humanity.

Heh, here's another good one. Today, as I sat at a traffic light in my RHD Elan with U.K. plates and registration, I got this (in German): "Nice car! Did it come from America?"

How on earth would you come to that conclusion??

J

I had a guy with a 4 door Maverick come in the speed shop looking for something or other. Asked him what motor; the answer? 'Boss 302'. Ummm, not real likely.

I think sometimes we're a wee bit hard on everyone who doesn't know every detail about our cars, ie guys that confuse my SC Thunderbird for a Turbocoupe and think it shares Mustang suspension parts. But I will say that one time I saw a guy with his head actually inside the open window of my blue 57 T-Bird. When I said something to him his response was "Man, my uncle had a car just like this except it was red and it was a '55 Chevy." Since he knew that my car was not in fact a '55 Chevy I can't for the life of me figure out what he meant.

Will wrote: ...When I said something too him his response was "Man, my uncle had a car just like this except it was red and it was a '55 Chevy."

That's a brilliant line. It's like the old gag, "I've had this axe for 25 years! And I've only replaced the head twice and the handle three times!"

J

Will wrote: I think sometimes we're a wee bit hard on everyone who doesn't know every detail about our cars...

Right. But if you're on this board, there is no excuse for any error or lack of knowledge about any car.

Carson wrote:

That's almost as good as the 25 lb bag through the intake on the Audi to 'hone' the cylinders :)

I say that because believe it or not, idiots over on ecomodders.com are actually intaking exhaust gas to lean out the mix to get better MPG... (this is not a joke)

Jensenman wrote: I had a plain old '71 Dodge Charger, huge boat with a 318 2 bbl. It needed plugs, plug wires etc when I got it. I was doing all this in my parent's front yard and one of my brother's friends walked up and was making conversation. He looked in the engine compartment and said 'Man, that's a huge camshaft'. I suppose he had X ray vision.

shame it wasn't a woman - she could have been hitting on you

I owned a '69 Reliant Scimitar GTE - impossible for almost anyone to grasp that it wasn't a 80s Plymouth crapbox when I told them what I owned.

Raze wrote: I say that because believe it or not, idiots over on ecomodders.com are actually intaking exhaust gas to lean out the mix to get better MPG... (this is not a joke)

Like an EGR valve?

ArthurDent wrote: I owned a '69 Reliant Scimitar GTE - impossible for almost anyone to grasp that it wasn't a 80s Plymouth crapbox when I told them what I owned.

Those were pretty cool, the original 'hot hatch'.

Maybe not so dumb, but I have lost count of the number of times that one of the "muscle car" guys at the local cruise-in have told me that I have a belt slipping.

I would think they should be able to tell the difference between a slipping belt and a superchager whine. Maybe they can't grasp the idea of a supercharger on a Ford Focus

Jay wrote: Heh, here's another good one. Today, as I sat at a traffic light in my RHD Elan with U.K. plates and registration, I got this (in German): "Nice car! Did it come from America?" How on earth would you come to that conclusion?? J

Because Canadians and Americans look the same

Carson wrote:

Raze wrote: I say that because believe it or not, idiots over on ecomodders.com are actually intaking exhaust gas to lean out the mix to get better MPG... (this is not a joke)

Like an EGR valve?

Except they're recirculating a LARGE portion of exhaust, apparantly the temperature increase is what they're after, also called a Hot Air Intake, can also be accomplished by plugging up the radiator openings and modding the intake so it sits behind the radiator, search on HAI or hot air intake, silly, seriously...

As you guys know, interesting old cars tend to draw crowds at gas stations. As I was driving to Ohio a few weeks ago, I stopped for gas, and was fielding the usual questions from interested folks. One 20-something started telling me how fast his 85-or-so Chevy truck (painted to look like "Jon's" truck from CHiPS) was. Nothing on earth could be faster, except his dad's hot rod with a STOCK Jaguar straight 12, which made over 500 horsepower! I started to try to reason with the guy, but it was obvious that he was too far gone for modern medicine.

Literally every conversation about my RX-7 with a person other than my friends ends up as follows.

Retarded kid: "Nice Porsche (obviously mispronounced and pointing at my FC RX-7...)

Me: "Gee thanks..."

R.K.: "Does that thing got a v8?"

Me: "No, its a rotary engine..."

R.K.: "So how many pistons does it have?"

Me: "None, its a two rotor 13B."

R.K.: "So it only has two pistons?!"

Me: reaches into rear bin and grabs club adjacent to the quarts of oil and premix.

I laughed at the Pizza Hut comment. I used to work at Canadian Tire in town, which I quit after almost 2 years part time (earning minimum wage was not cool when it was easy to be earning 12/h + everywhere else). After quitting, for the longest time when I was in the store and people were getting impatient with the r-tards at the desk I would help them, even going so far as to go behind the counter and use the system To this day I still sneak behind to get the part number for what I am looking for when people are busy. I just say I work there ;)

hell i still go right to the computer at AZ and help myself finding part numbers. i am, however, polite enough to ask one of the redshirts to grab a part from the back for me.

Jensenman wrote: I've done some stupids myself. Like the time I was covering a major service with a customer, she wanted everything possible done to her Rodeo because she was giving it to her daughter. Okay, works for me. So I get her approval for everything, including an automatic transmisison service, we go over fluid and filter and all that. She's all about that, happy I recommended it. I get in the car... ... it's a 5 speed. :oops:

One of my current service advisors sells some of the oddest E36 M3. Diff services on civics, Diff flushes on S2000s, and so on. As much as I would like the half an hour pay diff services do I can't do that to people and simply tell the advisor he's an f'ing moron.

I also upsold a trans service (drain and fill trans fluid) because this lady had 90k on her accord and trans fluid was black. She insisted on watching me do this and then started bitching saying she was an artists and knew colors. Said the black goop coming out of the transmission was "more" red than the new fluid that was ready to go in. Did I mention she was about 80 years old and wore binoculars for glasses?

Canadian bacon is good, but you have to call it ham and put Maple syrup on it. Personally I'm a fan of regular bacon, especially chicken fried bacon.