Keeping the hobby alive with kids

The departure of Per from the magazine as left me thinking. Was anyone around here able to keep their car related hobby when they had kids (especially while they were still young). Personally, a bit before my third one arrived, I completely stopped anything car related for about 2 years. As the kids are getting older, I am restarting to attend some events, participate in auto-x, etc. But I am a minority. At the last auto-x of the season, about 75% of the guys present were single without kids. The rest were mostly older with kids old enough to participate.

So did anyone here kept-up with their hobby will they had small kids and if so, what was your trick?

fanfoy wrote: So did anyone here kept-up with their hobby will they had small kids and if so, what was your trick?

I did my first DE between conception and birth of my 1st... became an instructor for BMW, Porsche and NASA the year after the 2nd was born, got my competition license with both in elementary school and will have 3 seasons of w2w under my belt by the time the oldest hits HS (this coming season!).

The trick is not to ask permission to do things you want to do as long as you can afford them. Kids love camping at the track. They love race cars. I indulge them :)

If I had to support a family I would not even be on the Internet.

Well I guess I could bum off open wifi...

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: The trick is not to ask permission to do things you want to do as long as you can afford them.

We are on the same page here.

It helps if you can take the kids when you go to an event. Or at least be able to offer that in exchange. The last thing your SO likely wants is to be abandoned for the day. Can you include her and the kids? Guaranteed that will make it easier for you.

My children love coming to events, and have been attending since they were toddlers. I used to bring lots of food, and I'd impose on the goodwill of my competitors to help keep an eye out for them.

My son turns 16 in 11 days -- and I suspect he's had more seat time as a passenger at HPDEs and autoxs than many old guys. All because he was always included.

Gotta find the right club. Our local club allows kids to ride along provided they have an approved helmet. I wouldn't show up with a kid still in a car seat, but my son started autocrossing with me when he was 10. He probably goes to about 65-70% of the races I do. For what its worth, SWMBO seems much happier when we leave the house together than when I take off alone.

In reply to ZOO:

"My son turns 16 in 11 days -- and I suspect he's had more seat time as a passenger at HPDEs and autoxs than many old guys. All because he was always included."

It doesn't hurt that he's some sort of lucky charm for most of the people we compete with! He's like my FTD charm.

I've got three kids (11,14,16) and I gave up almost all of my hands-on-time with cars when they were young. I changed from hands-on activities to going to events (mainly vintage races) or other cool car venues that we could do as a family. I started reading a lot more books (and GRM/CMS of course) after hours instead of wrenching. I started writing for GRM/CMS so I could still act like I was hands-on every now and then. Now that the kids are older, we're hands on together and it's great.

I think the trick is to be patient and give it up for awhile. I'd rather lose a few years of car stuff (which I now more or less have back) than lose a few years with my family (which you can't get back).

--Carl

I currently have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old. I refuse to give up all car activity. I don't really do any out of town events anymore but every local autox I am in town for I hit. The biggest thing for me has been finding the garage time to work on my toys. I finally realized that if I wanted to give my family 100% a good portion of my garage time had to come from somewhere else. My solution has been early alarm clocks, I get up 1 or 2 hours earlier than everyone else and that gives me my uninterrupted work time without being the dad who ignores his family to work on the car. I am definitely looking forward to the kids getting older though, my 2 year old loves working in the garage and i can wait to pass my love of the hobby on to both my kids.

The wife and I drag our kids to all the events. Autocross, PDX, Club Races, whatever. Since she was SCR-SCCA Asst. RE last year and is RE this year we pretty much go to all of them. When we started, autocross we would show up with 4 kids, 18,14,10 and 6. Now, it's 4 kids, a daughter in law and on occasion, three grand kids. I don't think continuing the tradition will be a problem. Hell, it's about time to buy a bus.

I'll give you some perspective from the younger half of this equation

When I turned 15 1/2(Old enough to drive here in NH), my father and I went out and found a project car, a CRX. We worked on it together, and by the time it was road ready I had my drivers license and we started attending autox events together co-driving said project car. I'm about to turn 21, still regularly autocross with and without my dad, and have a project car of my own now. I'd say he did it right, because he got me totally into cars. I have no idea how it would work with younger kids, although I suppose a kart would be a good way to start.

My 2yr old daughter desperately wants to ride in daddies "racing car" (the miata) but I have not gotten wife approval on strapping the car seat in there even though it has no airbag (1990 NA)

Carl Heideman wrote: I think the trick is to be patient and give it up for awhile. I'd rather lose a few years of car stuff (which I now more or less have back) than lose a few years with my family (which you can't get back). --Carl

There is iron in Carl's words.

Carl Heideman wrote: . I think the trick is to be patient and give it up for awhile. I'd rather lose a few years of car stuff (which I now more or less have back) than lose a few years with my family (which you can't get back). --Carl

See I don't think you have to give it up, it just means waking up at 4 am to get your car time in. I am deployed over 250 days a year so trust me, I spend every second with my family I can and a little lost sleep to enjoy my hobby while the wife an kids sleep is well worth it to me.

Wait - I missed the memo. Per isn't with the mag anymore?!?!

I'm with Carl and Angry - I'm still working on cars, but I've slowed it WAY down since the second little one arrived. Better family life and happier wife. I work on the cars during naptime on Saturdays - that gets me a couple hours of productive down-time without impacting the family at all. I try to wrench one weeknight/week after the kids are in bed, but don't stress if it doesn't happen. I sold my non-running projects to acquire a running 964 (at least, it was running when I acquired it! :) ). I'm happier, and more to the point - it's been better for the family.

My 2.5 year old loves to join me, but is at that stage where he wants to get into EVERYTHING with some tools. I love it - but that becomes teaching/fun time with him (a Great Thing) rather than actual productive time. Sometimes, we just sit in the car in the garage while he drives me somewhere in the "fast posh".

My 6 month old has spent more than a few evenings in the garage when she wouldn't settle - I have a swing in there for her, and it allows my wife some precious quiet/sleep time.

I have a lifetime to wrench on the next "great deal" project car, but only a short time with the little ones. I try to balance my spare time accordingly - and frankly, the non-running projects had turned into a burden more than a fun way to spend time.

Yes it is possible. Kids come first. Wife needs to know you are trying and be understanding. As kids get older, they will declare their interest. Any attempt to seduce the kids into the hobby must be FUN for them even if it is a torture to you.

By the time they are 12, they wont have any use for you other than as a biological ATM anyways, so you can start to resume a life.

I think its more important to keep your hobbies then it is to drop them... Your priorities have to change surrounding the hobbies... I think its a great way to bond with your kids and get them involved in something.... My son is 5 now.. All though he doesn't live with me full time, I have him most weekends... My racing has taken a bit of a back seat, but I still bring him out to some events.. I get him to help me with simple projects on the car.. He enjoys it and we get time together to bond..

Nathan JansenvanDoorn wrote: I sold my non-running projects to acquire a running 964 (at least, it was running when I acquired it! :) ). ... I try to balance my spare time accordingly - and frankly, the non-running projects had turned into a burden more than a fun way to spend time.

Same here.

Consolidated and bought a cheap running track car. I can tinker here or there, but I'm not facing hours upon hours upon hours of wrenching just to get it to a state that's usable.

That way, if I do find myself with a free day, or a free weekend, I can load up, turn the key and hit the track or auto-x! Otherwise it's out of sight, out of mind.

In addition, it makes simple tinker type projects achievable without impacting family time. Get up early, work one night/week after kid goes to bed, etc.

We've got another little one on the way so I'll stick with this plan for another couple years. Once they're a little older it's easier to either involve them, or let them at least play free while you wrench compared to the toddler/pre-K stage (don't drink that... don't touch that.. oh mom's gonna kill me for you getting that on your clothes... etc.)

Protege2886 wrote: In reply to ZOO: "My son turns 16 in 11 days -- and I suspect he's had more seat time as a passenger at HPDEs and autoxs than many old guys. **All because he was always included.**" It doesn't hurt that he's some sort of lucky charm for most of the people we compete with! He's like my FTD charm.

Never works for me when he rides along. Mostly he just tells me how much faster (insert name here) is in each section. Cheeky little dickens . . .

To be fair, he is really observant, and he does a good job of explaining what others do. It's my inability to execute those observations that makes me slow.

I think Nathan and xflow have good points too--move from projects to runners, then just do tweaks. I've done that too. As the kids have gotten older, we've done bigger tweaks to existing cars and now we've done some mid-range project cars. So we've been phasing it back in.

My 16 year old is starting the build of a Lotus 7 clone (not really a Locost as it will be pretty much period correct), so he's on his first major project. I don't care if he finishes it. Every bit of fab time will be good for him and the time the rest of us spend with him helping will be good family time.

--Carl

My kids would come to the dirt track and watch me race because there were other things there like girls, junk food, other kids, and it was usually presented as a "show". They've never watched me race anywhere else. My oldest son, however has been autocrossing for a few years now, and is joining the bike club, and going to try his hand at MX next season.

You can't force it and I never did. They were always invited, and usually declined. Now they're getting involved at their own pace.

Jr. Kart autocrossing starts around 7 or 8 right? Guy I autocrossed with years ago got his kids involved as the karting program started. Now, 15 years later, his oldest son is a national champ in 125cc and his other kids did well to. I remember days when most of the kart grid was his family.

You don't give it up completely, you just take longer to get stuff done.

With my 3-year old I find safe ways he can "help" me work on the cars. Last weekend we rotated tires on the Toyota:

He helped me take the lug nuts off and on, and roll the tires. I made him stay away when I was jacking up the car. I don't let him within 10 feet while I'm lifting or lowering the car.

I usually sneak in serious wrenching time when the family is away from the house. I need to find a better solution though or I'll never get the V8 swap done in the Ranger.

I'm down to reading magazines, forums, and basic maintenance (kids are 6, 4.5, and 18 months). I try to involve them in the basic maintenance stuff for our vehicles, but also involve them in yardwork/house projects when appropriate. My father did the same and it has given me the ability to do a good chunk of work by myself, which I think is a valuable skill to pass along.

I'd like to attend a car event with them next year, possibly something at Lime Rock. Auto-X and track days won't be feasible for me for a long time, both in terms of time away from the family and because we currently don't own any cars that are capable.

I dropped things pretty much completely sometime between my second and my third. I even let my GRM subscription lapse. The time and money just weren't there. My wife never asked me to back off, but she thanked me when I did. I rode bicycles for a while. I bought a vespa. I did hobbies that I could just put down for months at a time and not feel bad about.
My kids are 10,9,7 and 5 now, and just under a year ago I got back into it. I bought my Mazda2 to drive the kids around and to autocross. I'm having an absolutely fantastic time and it makes my wife happy. It's so much less stressful to not have to worry about leaving my wife at home with babies while I go play. It's also nice to know that I can just buy tires when I need them instead of having to scrimp and save and budget for 6 months. As it turns out, our lives have sorted themselves out in such a way that spending that money way back then instead of putting it in the kids college funds wouldn't have made much difference. We're doing ok. If the world hadn't worked out like this though I would never have been able to forgive myself for spending that money on cars.
I think the most important thing is that I can look back on the decisions I've made and be comfortable with them. I still try to do that with car decisions now. I try to imagine where things could end up and decide whether I can live with that outcome. I don't race motorcycles because the negative outcome from that is more than I care to risk. My wife has just told me that she'd like me to see about buying a Porsche. I told her that if I buy it, I want to fly both me and my 9 year old out to get it and drive it back. The downside is that it might die along the way. The upside is a fantastic car adventure with my son. Totally worth it.