So a few follow-up thoughts... love the chatter and really, discussions like this are what the world needs more of. Productive and respectful. Thank you.
Not sure where the "lifestyle" comment came in, maybe the original comment went missing but yeah... not a lifestyle. That word implies this is something I chose and have control over. It's just who we are, the same way straight people don't wake up one day and choose to be straight. And yeah, if you think who I simply am is wrong, that's cool. Just keep your mouth shut and be graceful. I'm not introducing myself with some string of sound bites from RuPaul's Drag Race or something, but if I introduce you to my boyfriend, I expect the same grace and respect I'd give you when meeting your girlfriend.
The most powerful comment I received when Tyler and I announced we were starting this thing came in response to the literal ONE Facebook friend (out of so many supporters) who was like "why does it have to be gay racing, why can't it just be racing." Can't remember who said it, but... if this group existing and in such prominence helps even one gay or lesbian or bi or trans or queer or whatever kid who loves cars and is otherwise struggling with their identity to not kill themselves because they see it's okay to be all of those things, then the hard work is worth it.
I never struggled beyond the "hurrdurr coming out is hard for everyone" typical challenge. My parents are kickass. Nobody had issues with it. But I was welcomed into the very-tight-knit NASA Mid-Atlantic family when I was 18 and realized I could be myself in that environment as I was working on understanding what "myself" actually was. The idea here is to lead with this, quietly, normally, unashamedly.
There are plenty of gay journalists and gay racers who depend on PR connections and event invites and racecar rides and so on for their livelihood. They don't lead with their orientation (or mention it at all) but rumors spread and winkwinknudge we all kinda know who's who but not entirely. I have a full-time career that isn't this and couldn't give fewer berkeleys if some OEM doesn't want to give me a press car or some magazine doesn't want me to write for them because of who I am. It's super liberating.
slowbird said:
In reply to Stampie :
How about a Lincoln? 
Only if it's a pre 22 Lincoln because Ford ruined Lincoln after that.
In reply to ChrisLS8 :
He was gay his whole life. Y'all just didn't know it.
I'm all for people having whatever "group" they want in motorsports. Whether that be their friends, their fellow rednecks, their fellow LGBT people, their fellow BMW drivers. their fellow Subaru bros. Motorsports is always more fun when you have your "crew" that you compete against, or help each other out, or whatever.
Our rallycross organization (DC region) has an openly gay couple (and perhaps a couple more, can't say I ever inquired or cared), a bunch of suburbanites who probably love Obama, a bunch of country boys who probably love Trump (yes, I'm just generalizing here), a bunch of Subaru guys who love Pastrana (lol), and a handful of females as well. 9 years with this club and I don't remember anyone ever saying or doing anything that I'd even remotely interpret as being racist, sexist, anti-LGBT or anything like that. I've never seen anyone raise an eyebrow when one of the guys introduced his boyfriend. We all have our little groups that we paddock with (usually the people in our class, or with same-marque cars), but that's about all the "clique" there is at rallycross. Not everyone is best friends, but any tension between anyone is just because of competitiveness and/or just general personality differences.
Kind of sad to hear that there are still motorsports events in this day and age where anyone would care if you're black or female or gay or trans or whatever (and I'm happy that in 20 years of motorsports I've almost never oberved this kind of behavior). We all look the same with our helmets on :)
irish44j said:
Kind of sad to hear that there are still motorsports events in this day and age where anyone would care if you're black or female or gay or trans or whatever (and I'm happy that in 20 years of motorsports I've almost never oberved this kind of behavior). We all look the same with our helmets on :)
I agree, but I'd go so far as to say any events not just Motorsport. I'm honestly shocked this is an issue. I know whenever I'm near a car with my helmet, I'm so focused on improving my driving (lots to focus on there), this issue never crosses my mind.
I guess the levels with which man can sink to in order to hate one another, shouldn't surprise, but it does.
AnthonyGS said:
irish44j said:
Kind of sad to hear that there are still motorsports events in this day and age where anyone would care if you're black or female or gay or trans or whatever (and I'm happy that in 20 years of motorsports I've almost never oberved this kind of behavior). We all look the same with our helmets on :)
I agree, but I'd go so far as to say any events not just Motorsport. I'm honestly shocked this is an issue. I know whenever I'm near a car with my helmet, I'm so focused on improving my driving (lots to focus on there), this issue never crosses my mind.
I guess the levels with which man can sink to in order to hate one another, shouldn't surprise, but it does.
Agree. Though in peoples' "regular" lives I feel like they are more beholden to their ideals, biases, religious convictions or what have you. But when you're at the track (or rally, or autocross or whatever) most people are there to escape from their everyday boring lives - and perhaps consciously or subconsciously escape their everyday opinions or ideals as well and just make it about racing and seeing friends. And I'm just speaking hypothetically, not about me. I'm fine with whomever people want to be (or are), regardless of at the track or at the office.
Facebook makes things interesting. I'm friends on FB with hundreds of people I know through the rally community. When at a rally, everyone is freinds or at least friendly. But then you read what some of those people post on their pages and wonder "wow, that's the same guy as I talk with and have beers with at every rally?? He's a cool AF dude over beers at a rally, but totally don't like him on facebook" lol.
And I'm not on FB.... 2012 and FB cured me of social media. I'm sure 2020 is even worse.
If you're into cars, that makes you a brother or sister, (or whatever you might identify as) forever.
STM317
UltraDork
3/13/20 5:31 a.m.
Stampie said:
slowbird said:
I'm happy that this is a thing, and thanks to GRM for giving it coverage.
I'm considering painting my challenge car in trans flag colors this year.
You know I understand painting trans colors but shouldn't you do it on something more likely to finish high instead of a Ford?
A Trans Am seems like the obvious choice right?
STM317 said:
Stampie said:
slowbird said:
I'm happy that this is a thing, and thanks to GRM for giving it coverage.
I'm considering painting my challenge car in trans flag colors this year.
You know I understand painting trans colors but shouldn't you do it on something more likely to finish high instead of a Ford?
A Trans Am seems like the obvious choice right?
Heh, perhaps.
Considering they named the Trans Am after a racing series that they hadn't won, didn't ask permission for it, and couldn't even race that model in it, I harbor some disdain for the car. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pontiac_Firebird#Racing
Although if I had to own a GM product, a turbo 89 Trans Am might be my top choice. They look the best of all the F-body cars in my opinion, especially with those sweet wheels.
Hmmm...it could work.
In reply to slowbird :
Only downfall is Cars & Coffee Mustangs can't donate their wheels.
slowbird said:
I'm happy that this is a thing, and thanks to GRM for giving it coverage.
I'm considering painting my challenge car in trans flag colors this year.
Do it! Most of my Gambler vehicles fly the flag. Surprisingly, the openness has resulted in some amazing conversations and even learning experiences.
Vigo
MegaDork
3/16/20 6:12 p.m.
I was pretty apprehensive to open this thread after having clicked through that diesel brothers thread. But hey, i got all the way to end without even getting close to adding anyone to the 'the world is just waiting until you die so we can be normal' list, so it's pretty good!
One thing I've pondered as a car person is the extent to which i might be accidentally propping up stereotypes just by being so.. stereotypical (at least from a distance). Between what i look like and what im into, even the sound of my voice, i sometimes feel like i'm reinforcing stereotypes and gender roles just by existing even though i reject them ideologically. I know that anyone who gets to know me even a little bit would see past whatever stereotypes of masculinity i happen to slot into, but I don't really know how to announce myself as an ally or my class (im a teacher) as a safe space without screwing it up any. I've got some ideas. It's something i should spend a little time on. Luckily my college has a safe space with some employees i could actually just ask, so i should probably do that.
Mr_Asa
HalfDork
3/16/20 6:18 p.m.
Vigo said:
but I don't really know how to announce myself as an ally or my class (im a teacher) as a safe space. I've got some ideas. It's something i should spend a little time on.
A flag on your desk or something similar? Depends on what kind of teacher you are, I guess
In reply to Vigo :
I probably fit the older white male redneck stereotype but I've found that just talking to people and showing that I respect them as a person overcomes that first impression of me pretty quick.
Stampie said:
In reply to Vigo :
I probably fit the older white male redneck stereotype but I've found that just talking to people and showing that I respect them as a person overcomes that first impression of me pretty quick.
I AM the older white male redneck hillbilly! But anyone that assumes that is ALL I am, has pidgin-holed me with a stereotype, and not given me the benefit of the doubt long enough to know me!
And yes, I was a long hair back when it was as big a sin as being ...
Some people will always find a reason to hate.
I try not to hate anyone.
STM317 said:
Stampie said:
slowbird said:
I'm happy that this is a thing, and thanks to GRM for giving it coverage.
I'm considering painting my challenge car in trans flag colors this year.
You know I understand painting trans colors but shouldn't you do it on something more likely to finish high instead of a Ford?
A Trans Am seems like the obvious choice right?
I'm thinking piston powered ex-rotary Mazda, or anything that had been converted from one drive type to another. 
I have a lot of gay/trans people in my friends and family circle and I've witnessed enough of the BS they have lived with their whole lives (both external, and internalized) that the number of high-voted positive comments makes me feel real warm and fuzzy inside.
I've heard the ugly comments, and I've seen the passive-agressive behavior, and I do feel for the difficult time anyone who is "different" has to put up with.
Some get ugly militant and aggressively in every ones face, screaming every one hates them... That's as bad as the haters, and causes its own share of problems.
I adhere to the old adage "your right to swing your arms, ends at the tip of my nose"... and try to give everyone else that same respect.
That too. Most of my friends/family are more like, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or my boyfriend was born wrong. Whatevs. Also got these color eyes, also got this color hair, also got this color skin, who gives a berk.
I can totally understand the militant-ness of some people. It's a coping mechanism, to deal with the hate they've had to live with their whole lives, from other people and from themselves. I see it less in the younger people, and that is also something that makes a warm and fuzzy feeling.
Knurled. said:
That too. Most of my friends/family are more like, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or my boyfriend was born wrong. Whatevs. Also got these color eyes, also got this color hair, also got this color skin, who gives a berk.
I can totally understand the militant-ness of some people. It's a coping mechanism, to deal with the hate they've had to live with their whole lives, from other people and from themselves. I see it less in the younger people, and that is also something that makes a warm and fuzzy feeling.
I understand where their militant attitude comes from: But it is NOT ok. And, causes problems for both sides, and those in the middle.
Good point about the younger crowd. I hadn't thought about it, but I believe you might be right for BOTH sides... making more folks in the middle!! Good news, for sure.
In reply to Knurled. :
I missed "and from themselfs" the first time. Anothe good point, and we all need to understand and offer compassion for that part. Peace!
slowbird said:
STM317 said:
Stampie said:
slowbird said:
I'm happy that this is a thing, and thanks to GRM for giving it coverage.
I'm considering painting my challenge car in trans flag colors this year.
You know I understand painting trans colors but shouldn't you do it on something more likely to finish high instead of a Ford?
A Trans Am seems like the obvious choice right?
Heh, perhaps.
Considering they named the Trans Am after a racing series that they hadn't won, didn't ask permission for it, and couldn't even race that model in it, I harbor some disdain for the car. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pontiac_Firebird#Racing
Although if I had to own a GM product, a turbo 89 Trans Am might be my top choice. They look the best of all the F-body cars in my opinion, especially with those sweet wheels.
Hmmm...it could work.
Honestly I suspect there are people like me, who are not fully up to date with all the colors and what they're tied to, that would just think that's a cool livery.
I support the meaning behind it now that I know what it is. I just initially didn't know because, well, there are a lot of things I don't know I guess.
In reply to Daylan C :
I'm thekind of person who would paint a car a color scheme because it looked cool (for example) and then wonder why everyone made comments that seemed completely irrelevant.
