I just remembered Mr. Bernier. He was an elderly man that lived up the street from me. As a kid, I’d ride my bike to his house and he’d fix whatever little thing my bike needed. He’d always have hundreds of bike parts for sale for pennies. I have no idea what he did for a living before he retired but this is how he spent his waning years. He helped all of us kids and showed us how to do things ourselves. He never pretended to be my dad (and grandpa), he was just there.
Just be there.
I think the 180sx came with the 1.8CADT if I'm remembering my JDM market stuff correctly. Depends on the year? Once the model became 240sx the JDM cars got the SR20DET and merica cars got the KA24DET.
b13990 said:Isn't "180SX" just a fancy JDM name for a 240SX?
In any case, I'd help the kid, but you don't have to know exactly how big a deal it's going to be for either of you. Sometimes one well-timed shove in the right direction can go a long way.
I think the 180 is the one that got the sr20 and the 240 got the ka24. Or something.
That's right.
It was 180SX in Japan because it came with a 1.8L engine.
240SX in America because of the 2.4L engine.
200SX in the UK because it got the 1.8L engine. oh dammit
Let me know if I might be of assistance. I had a major jdm is awesome phase (which still lingers) and am 35 yrs old so could be more of a buddy.
spitfirebill said:In reply to ShawnG :
How do your mentors respond to you now?
They seem pretty happy to hear that they made an impression on some kid that only managed to graduate highschool thanks to shop classes.
I get what you're saying when you say you can't be his buddy or his father. You can absolutely be a mentor, though, and it sounds like you've chosen to do that.
Hell, just listening to him and giving him some advice on things from time to time might be a huge boost for him. Like other have said, it's more about being there than anything else.
You don't need to be everything for this kid, just be there to answer some questions.
Don't be afraid to invite him to events. They dont have to be big. Car shows, cars and coffee, autox, whatever. Just a quick, "I've got this (blank) coming up in a couple weeks, would you like to go?" Just walking a cars and coffee and mutually sharing what cars you like and why.
Alternatively, if you're doing minor projects in the garage (oil change, brakes, wheel bearings, etc)...you've just discovered you could use a 2nd set of hands for a lot of these jobs, whether you really do or not. Have him hand you tools and minor stuff while you explain what you're doing and why, and if he takes to it, maybe let him do the other wheel under guidance.
Also, you rock for thinking so hard about this, and trying to make a difference. Thank you.
Cooter said:RHD, Cambered, SR20 Turbo, CF GFX, Caged, the works.
His dad was a gearhead, and died 2 years ago in an accident. The kid came by today to talk about cars (he saw the little Alto in the driveway). He seems to be looking for guidance. It has to be horrible losing his father and mentor so young.
I'm not sure if I am up to this with everything else going on, but I am going to figure this out. Somehow.
Be awesome.
b13990 said:Isn't "180SX" just a fancy JDM name for a 240SX?
Far from it... it's a specific version of the S13 chassis. The 240SX used the 180SX nose, as opposed to the Silvia nose, but the 240SX was made with 180SX (hatchback) and Silvia (notchback) bodies. (And I am sure that a bigger Nissan perv will be along shortly to correct/clarify/explain further)
Drifters would put Silvia noses on their 180SXs after wrecking them because it was cheaper that way. They called it the "Sil-80". Later, Nissan did a special production run of drift-specific cars with 180SX chassis and Silvia noses, just to follow the lead.
the toughest, but most satisfying events or activities in my life have been through helping others.
I’m no expert but I have a 180sx from japan. Factory sr20det. Super awesome car. I have some extra stuff laying around so let me know if there is anything you need and maybe I have it. It’s doubtful but I might.
Also, living in Los Angeles, our craigslist is littered with s13 stuff. Unlike most other areas where a craigslist search while on my travels netted maybe 1 or 2 items.
So if you find something in la and they won’t ship perhaps I could pick it up for you.
Mndsm said:I'm not one to believe in things like fate, but I know when the universe is trying to do some E36 M3 when I see it, and the universe is giving you this kid.
Without getting too deep into things, that is exactly what I felt as it happened. Which is why I consider it a huge responsibility. One that I want to do my absolute best at.
In reply to jfryjfry :
I appreciate the offer, as well as all of the support and encouragement here. I can't reply to every comment, but it is all very much appreciated.
To be clear, the car is complete, heavily modified, and he dailies it. And the "kid" is about 19. He lived with his dad and moved in here with his mom and her husband (boyfriend?) after his dad passed away. His father worked at a couple different custom and performance shops over the years. Dad's fatal crash was in a '36 Ford. The kid swapped a Skyline project for another car (240? not sure) and then traded up to the 180SX.
I can read from him that he is looking for quite a bit from me. Like I said, we talked for over an hour, and he didn't want me to leave. He wanted to take me for a ride in the car, and he doesn't even know me. He mentioned in passing that he spends all day in the basement. I think he is either in crisis, or very near.
Cooter said:Without getting too deep into things, that is exactly what I felt as it happened. Which is why I consider it a huge responsibility. One that I want to do my absolute best at.
Don't worry about doing your best. The fact that you are willing to do anything is a great start. As humans, we did not come with owner's manuals.
The kid is lucky to have you as a neighbor. Many folks would turn their heads and keep walking.
Some of the best wisdom I've received is "If I only share my experiences with people, I won't be guilty of giving bad advice"
Since the kids got car interest, get him pointed to autocross. He will learn much from a lot of potential new positive friends. Have him join our forum here too....
I'm not looking to point him anywhere.
I'm here to get him to where he wants to go and be happy.
+72 on the comments of just be there is a lot, do what you do, perfection not required.
When I was young, the owner of a Datsun shop took a liking to me, was cool talking to me and giving me sage advice, shared some of his life experiences (including the bad times coming out of Viet Nam, and even when his boy was struggling).
He was there, he was cool.
Mr. George Brewer, thank you.
So, yeah, just be you, and thanks for being willing, man.
Kid reminds me a bit of me from the sound of it. My dad passed when I was 12, but I got into mustangs instead of jdm.
At about 20 I started making a lot of car friends who were older than me(30s through 60s). It was never really looking for a father per se but there was some validation and guidance to it to offset that lack in my life. It was about learning to make adult friendships too and because I realized I could learn from them and my peers weren't as wise.
You are reading a lot into this. My advice, just be his friend and see how it goes.
Just be friends and go from there. My best friend is 97 years old. I have known him since I was 5 or 6. Don’t worry about age or anything. Friends come from all over but age is not a defining requirement to be someone’s friend.
Also, him learning to be friends with someone older than him will help him in life and in his career.
Apexcarver said:
You are reading a lot into this. My advice, just be his friend and see how it goes.
Nothing personal, but if I have learned anything in my 55 years, it is that I know how to read people. If I didn't believe in myself about being able to read people (and I didn't at first), everyone else in in my life has been telling me exactly that since my teens.
This kid stopped his car in the middle of the street to talk to a complete stranger for over an hour. Then wanted to drive said stranger back to his house so that he could show him his dream car. The one that he then tells the complete stranger that he wished he could show to his dead father to show him how much he learned. That he wished he could show his dad to make him proud. And then says he wants to take you for a ride in that dream car. He mentions he doesn't really leave his basement much at his new home with his mom and stepdad.
Hav you ever had the feeling when you know someone has a crush on you, and they try to continue make conversation because they don't want the conversation to end? Well, this is sorta like that, but different. This kid is looking for something from me. I began noticing this phenomenon of people seeking me out to help them get through a stage in their lives when I was in my late teens. Broken people have been reaching out to me for over 35 years that I am aware of. I do my best to help without making the situation worse or codependent. But it isn't easy. Especially lately. Between dealing with my wife's loss of both of here parents a couple months ago, trying to straighten out and settle the estate while dealing with a sibling that is making doing so almost impossible, and dealing with my own declining health issues and and parents that may not make it through the year, I am a bit overwhelmed. I won't let this kid down, though. He reached out to me, and that is an honor. My personal experiences say that this sort of thing is usually like an iceberg, and people don't reach out to total strangers unless there is even more under the surface. That has been my experience. YMMV. But these are my miles.
Now, anyone can choose to believe whatever that want about this. But I was the one that was there. And I have to say that it might be best to maybe give the benefit of the doubt about someone you never met IRL, talking about someone you never met IRL.
This is the type of stuff that saves us all. Even if the kid turns out to be an a-hole, trying your best to help him will make you better. When we get depressed one of the key features of that depression is to turn inward, to try and fix what is making us feel so terrible. This is flawed logic, the answer is to be found outside of one’s self, in service. Helping others is restorative because it shows us the good in ourselves while simultaneously turning that hyper focus that picks us apart and shines light in all the darkest corners on something more productive. I love that this is where your focus is turning. Even if it goes to E36 M3, you’ll grow from it. My only advice is to be careful of putting all the eggs in this basket, if possible, do some other small things for others as well so that this doesn’t feel like a life vest, just some added buoyancy, because it may not go perfectly.
Also. I strongly recommend checking out Jordan b. Peterson, he is a psychology professor that teaches some cool classes and has most of his stuff/lectures on YouTube and on podcasts. Some of the knowledge he has to impart might be valuable to you.
Good luck, this community has your back
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