Things you shouldn't say in a CL ad

I love when they negotiate themselves down without me trying "$900 but I won't take less than $700."

Once saw an ad for a b5 s4 "runs great,  light rust, couple of bullet holes. 

Must go this weekend.  

Before something else breaks.  

———————

you would be surprised how the “minor rust” gets tossed around on Chicago cars. That’s minor?

Runs awesome, new tire, new battery, no title. -Every sub $500 bike on CraigsList that isn't a bucket of parts.

Runs great, just needs a new head gasket.

I also always like "easy fix. Parts included."

Car ad I posted years ago. New head gasket, needs engine. At least I was truthful.

"New Breaks" is always my favorite.  Yep, I'm trusting my life, my financial livelihood and the well being of others to someone who can't spell "brakes".

“Knocking, needs rod bearing, $4 part”

"firm", "no lowballers", "sold as is" (which means it won't pass emissions testing), "a/c just needs charged", "cash in hand for test drive" (going to a sketchy neighborhood with a stack of cash that you told someone you are bringing can't be in any way a bad idea right?), "I know what I have," my loss is your gain", anything intended to trick someone into coming to look at it when  the registration is long expired or the title is missing without clearly explaining the issue, etc. 

In reply to Patrick :

Well, sure, a rod bearing is like $4. It's the work to replace it, that's the bitch. ;)

kazoospec said:

"New Breaks" is always my favorite.  Yep, I'm trusting my life, my financial livelihood and the well being of others to someone who can't spell "brakes".

Agreed! Is it possible he meant to add “in the frame” and actually spelled the word correctly?

Craigslist ad:

“Car needs work cheek engin light on emitoions problem piece coast 100 dollars needs ball joint convertible top leaks needs inspection it has a clean title. Engin transmition and clutch r good on it.”

I often see “$xxx firm OBO” at the end of the ad. Which is it? 

And the thumb blocking the plate in the fuzzy pictures

Ive seen more than a few descibed as "flaming pile of E36 M3"

Probably shouldn't say that....

Oh, and people confusing “rare” with undesirable. 

I always love "ran when parked", when the car has been sitting for more than 5 years. "Last registered in '83, ran when parked. Haven't tried to start it." It's been parked for 35 freaking years!

Also "adult driven, never raced" obviously means "it's been beat every day"

And any ads with a rotary car bragging about "always kept in low RPMs" or "never seen redline"... so you're saying it's carboned up?

"Just needs engine, floorboards, rockers, and trunk and you have yourself a running, driving classic for less than the cost of a  new Camry!" 

Also "insurance totaled it out, but all it needs is the frame to be straightened"

T.J. said:

Runs great, just needs a new head gasket.

This one is definitely possible.  I've seen a car that would have (truthfully) applied to.  94 Camry with a 5S-FE.  Toasted a head gasket randomly (for no apparent reason) and was drinking about a quart of coolant every 50 miles.  No signs of coolant in the oil and just a tiny bit of oily grunge in the coolant.  Car didn't get hot, still ran just fine.  Other than the coolant consumption, it was hard to tell anything was wrong with it.  

Carson said:

Oh, and people confusing “rare” with undesirable. 

If it's undesirable it enough it becomes rare eventually. That isn't to say it suddenly becomes desirable just because it's rare however. eg: 90's Sunbirds, Colts, and Shadows.

"The car has rust in some places, but is very solid in others"

This real recently from the FB group - GTA Subaru Parts

2008 Subaru WRX STI - MINT! - $18,000 . . . . . . . . . . .

Has typical Subaru 1/4 panel rust and just a slight knock in the engine. Selling for my boyfriend.

Why? Is he in jail? Rust and an engine knock is not MINT!

Also read on facebork just now:

"90 Honda civic si death trap. $350 obo.... title in hand. Replaced head gasket and other crap...Definitely won't get you laid, but it'll get you somewhere."

Saw a new one today: "Was mint before the crash".  Possibly the most irrelevant statement ever made.