Wrenching Confessions: What self inflicted idiocy have you achieved?

The first whole motor I ever built, for a G Prod Spitfire.
Used the FSM as a guide.
Ready to start it up, cranks over fine, but will not fire.
Ignition: disconect #1 plug wire, stick a screwdriver in, lay it on the valve cover. Crank it over, got strong visible spark to ground. Plug wires are in the right order.
Fuel: lift the piston on the front and rear SU, plenty of fuel visible where the needle and jet meet.
Crank it over .. why are the SU pistons jumping up and down? (fooh-fooh-fooh-fooh). And why is it blowing air/fuel mixture in my face?
Kneel down to the sidemounted exhaust pipe, and as it cranks, I can hear it sucking air in (suck-suck-suck-suck). Put my hand over the end of the pipe, and I could feel pulsing vacuum.

Crap!: So that's what it looks like when you degree a cam badly!

I wonder sometimes, what would have happened if I squirted starter fluid into the exhaust pipe?

well, one out of one million, but one that really hurt; I was replacing the wiper inserts (rubber) on a customer car and was having a VERY hard time removing them from the blade itself, so in my testosterone rage I pulled on it VERY, VERY hard , so hard that when it released , it sent the retainers like an arrow towards my thumb hard enough to where one flew and broke my thumb nail and cut my thumb and hand and the other embedded itself about 1.5 inches into my thumb....and if you have ever seen the shape of the retainers then you know they are about an 1/8th inch thick with a rounded edge and totally blunt, but have a barb to retain the insert,...when i waved my hand it agony it didn't come out. I had to forcefully remove it by pulling and twisting it out, this was around 11:00 , by 3pm my shoulder felt like it was on fire that pain was so bad. i went to an an emergency care and , had them clean it, give me a tetanus shot, since the last one i had was in the usmc. 3 doctors visits and one to the therapist and a bunch of vicodin later my thumb was ok, about 2 months later....

glueguy wrote: *snip* Friend in college - Volvo 142 with MSD. Misfiring so he thought it would be good to troubleshoot by grabbing hold of a plug wire. Watching someone do this is pretty funny and a way better lesson than doing it yourself *snip*

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my son yesterday. My Jetta was misfiring on a foggy/nasty/humid/damp morning. I told my son I think the coil is going bad again, but there is a way to test it to make sure. He asks me what the test is and I tell him "grab the coil when the car is running and if it shocks the hell out of you it is bad." His reply was "I will get one of my friends to test it..."

bgkast wrote: Chumpcar: The Pontihack Fiero is overheating and we need to refill the cooling system to get back on the track. The fill port cap on the engine won't budge. Solution- channel locks and a rag. Turns out the cap wouldn't come off because it was holding back several psi of steam. Luckily I turned my head as the cap came off and only suffered second degree burns on the side of my face, armpit and side of my torso. Ouch!

Oh, lordy; Toyman probably remembers this. Turned the radiator cap on the boiling hot ThunderTerd too far, brown rusty water went EVERYWHERE including up the side of his dad's 5th wheel camper and on the race suit of one of our team members. I am amazed that 1) I still have all my digits and 2) that people still want to race LeMons with me.

got lucky when I jump started my '50 Plymouth with a modern 12v car ... there was a little bit of smoke and the jumper cables were a bit hot .. but the car started and neither of the batteries blew up

stealthfighter1 wrote: well, one out of one million, but one that really hurt; I was replacing the wiper inserts (rubber) on a customer car and was having a VERY hard time removing them from the blade itself, so in my testosterone rage I pulled on it VERY, VERY hard , so hard that when it released , it sent the retainers like an arrow towards my thumb hard enough to where one flew and broke my thumb nail and cut my thumb and hand and the other embedded itself about 1.5 inches into my thumb....and if you have ever seen the shape of the retainers then you know they are about an 1/8th inch thick with a rounded edge and totally blunt, but have a barb to retain the insert,...when i waved my hand it agony it didn't come out. I had to forcefully remove it by pulling and twisting it out, this was around 11:00 , by 3pm my shoulder felt like it was on fire that pain was so bad. i went to an an emergency care and , had them clean it, give me a tetanus shot, since the last one i had was in the usmc. 3 doctors visits and one to the therapist and a bunch of vicodin later my thumb was ok, about 2 months later....

A guy at work (he retired due to medical issues recently) got a wiper blade insert retainer THROUGH his finger. all the way through.
As much as I get hurt in strange ways at work, I can never equal what he's done.
He tried to put a subframe up by himself and dropped it on one of his fingers. squishing it.
squishing it doesn't really cover it though, considering the skin on his finger peeled off, along with everything else holding the finger on, except for a very small piece of meat.
pretty horrible.

irish44j wrote: Here's a winner from early in my e30 build. New rotors. Good (used) pads. Couldn't figure out why the rear was grinding. hmmmm

Bravo! Note to self...

first of all - nearly every job i do ends up becoming a complicated production in no time at all. i don't know why but there is never just a "simple job" with me...it becomes a fiasco somehow. but, i'm stubborn and a cheapass, so i keep at it despite my better judgement.

in college i had the bright idea that i was up to the challenge of changing a shock on my accord in my apartment parking lot. i got all my tools, borrowed a spring compressor and went to town.

first thing i did: took off the center nut holding the shock up inside the assembly, rather than unbolting the 3 bolts holding up the whole assembly and then compressing the spring. the shock fell down within the spring and i now had to compress the entire spring to get the assembly out.

turns out a stock accord spring is about 2 feet tall. no matter how much work i did with the compressor, i couldn't compress the spring enough to pull the shock/spring assembly out, and was too scared to start unbolting control arms. i sat out in the parking lot banging on this thing for 3 days. strangers in other buildings were literally coming out to ask me if was OK. a buddy of mine with much more of a right to be using my tools than me came by and helped me pull the knuckle off which solved the problem.

got the new shock in and didn't even bother fixing the one on the other side of the car that was leaking...just walked away and drank myself to sleep that night.

GTFOutta here, old pain in the dick shock:

also ask me about:

• how not to de-sludge a 1.8T

• the steering rack boot of regret and sadness

• raw fuel in open wounds; they're manly tears

Yesterday I knocked over a gallon jug of used oil in the garage, of course it didn't have a cap on it...

slefain wrote: Did the brakes on my '83 Camaro. So proud of myself, jumped in the car to back it out of the driveway. Go to stop and the pedal hits the floor! I stomped the pedal like I was putting out a fire until the car stopped. My Dad later asked if I forgot to pump up the brakes BEFORE trying to move it so it would take up the slack between the pads and the disc. Ummm.....no I did not.

I did that a couple of years ago, although with more expensive consequences...

Replaced the rear brakes on my TDI while doing an oil change. Front wheels on ramps, rear on stands. It was cold out, so I had the garage door closed. My own garage (and lift) were filled with dead E30, so I was doing this at my g/f's house.

After replacing the pads and rotors, I lower the rear of the car back to the ground... and the car proceeds to roll off the ramps... into the closed garage door... with the rear hatch open... jumped into the car and puleld the e-brake: nothing.

Turned into about a $3500 oil change/brake job...

Bought an 84 Rabbit from the $20XX classifieds.

Brought it home, parked it in my parent's garage. Put it in gear (1st) and went upstairs. Came back down stairs a couple hours later, jumped in, "started" it (forgetting it was still in 1st gear), slammed right into the garage wall. Backed up, put a piece of drywall in front of the hole, then left.

Drywall still sits in the same position. Hasn't moved in 5 years...

I always draw blood at least once during any DIY job.

Any repair that doesn't involve a blood sacrifice is a repair that you will be doing again.

I bought a $400 MR2. In Pittsburgh.

pinchvalve wrote: I bought a $400 MR2. In Pittsburgh.

BWAAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Tyler H wrote:

irish44j wrote: Here's a winner from early in my e30 build. New rotors. Good (used) pads. Couldn't figure out why the rear was grinding. hmmmm

Bravo! Note to self...

Hey look! Semi-metallic pads!

I knocked over the jug of Clinton-era gasoline that was in the mr2, no cap.
My shoes still smell horrendous, ergo my car smells horrendous.
Haven't been back to Ben's house yet but he says his whole house still smells horrendous.

Once had an '87 Cougar w/170k on the clock. Trans started slipping so 19 yr old me decided to drop the pan and replace the filter. In the bottom of the pan was a little plastic champagne-bottle cork looking thing. It fit perfectly into the pickup, so that's where I put it.

Buttoned it up & drove up the road and man, the shifts were buttery smooth as it went to second, then third, then into OD. Then it loses OD. I turn around to head home, now no third, then second is gone. I limp into the driveway, shut 'er down and go look for my Haynes manual.

That's when I notice the precaution to throw away the little plastic piece that is part of the manufacturing process..................

I have a few.

The first time I replaced drum brakes on a Caravan, I didn't realize that there are two thick shoes and two thin shoes, and you're supposed to use one on each side. I put the two thin ones on one side, adjusted the drum and then spent an hour wondering why I couldn't get the other brake back together. I'll never make that mistake again (mainly because all of my cars have 4 wheel disks at the moment).

I was putting the oil metering pump back onto my RX-7. I grabbed the wrong torque wrench (foot pounds instead of inch pounds) in my fatigue addled state, and promptly sheared the bolt of into the front cover. The torque wrenches were nothing alike, and to this day I don't know how I could have made that mistake.

While trying to remove a half-shaft with a sledgehammer, I had some kind of spasm and bashed the wheel well, destroying the brake line in the process.

This is what happens when you don't check the brakes well enough before rolling a car downhill towards the tow dolly:

It took a little while to get that back off of the dolly using the high lift jack from my Jeep.

Sky_Render wrote: I always draw blood at least once during any DIY job. Any repair that doesn't involve a blood sacrifice is a repair that you will be doing again.

+1 this

stuart in mn wrote: Yesterday I knocked over a gallon jug of used oil in the garage, of course it didn't have a cap on it...

that remind me of another one from college I had forgotten about... I had 2 or 3 gallons of used oil in milk jugs in the garage, and my room mate and I were working on replacintg a motor in a Corrado. I didn't want to accidently knock one of the oil jugs over since things were kind of tight in there and we wanted to keep things clean, so I set them just outside the garage door along the garage wall.

A half hour later, my other buddy showed up with a flat bed trailer with an engine on it that we were going to off load into the garage. Since the garage was off an alley, he backed it up parallel to the garage door and nice and tight to the garage wall.... when the trailer tire perfectly lined up and squished one of the full gallons of used oil which projectile launched the contents onto my room mate who was standing at the garage opening directing the backing of the trailer.

I laughed hysterically.

Saturday I went to change the thermostat on the F150. First time, I didn't do a good enough job cleaning of the gasket surface so I turn it on and coolant is dripping it out. So pull it apart clean it really well and grab another gasket. Second time together I put it all together turn it on and coolant is spraying out of the thermostat housing. Pull it apart and find that the thermostat had moved out of position. Third time I put it back together an turn it out and it is worse. Find out the third time putting it together the hose from the water pump to the thermostat had busted....

When I bought my house, there was a jug of gasoline (half full) in the shed. No idea how long it had been there, so I used it to pout off old gas, oil, and solvent into. Figured I would dispose of the whole thing at an annual collection event.

Fast forward 6 years and I am home for lunch and the car is on fumes. I have a few jugs of gas around (for the mower, motorcycle, etc) so I grab one and fill-er-up. Somehow, I had the ancient one full of crap in the garage and didn't even realize what I was doing. Needless to say, I made it about 1 mile away before she died.

The dealer had to drop the tank, pulled out handfuls of pine needles and dead insects, and had to flush all the lines. (Did I mention that the spout had no cap at the end, so bugs crawled in and died for years) DOH!

If I keep following this thread, it's gonna kill me cuz y'all keep reminding me of other stupid things I've done. They're gonna find me slumped over the keyboard with a spork in my forehead... I bet I still have a few gallons of mixed gas-n-diesel out in the shed cuz yeah, I put 20 gallons of unleaded in my ol' motorhome once, and I spent much quality time immediately thereafter draining the tank, right where she sat, as it is my understanding that 6.2 diseasels run even worse than normal on that mix. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing, turns out.

I grabbed a gas jug out of my dad's garage one morning (about 6am) before school because the cavalier was so out of the gas that it wouldn't start. I think I coasted it in the previous night.
After I get all 5 gallons in, my dad asked me which jug I used. It was gas for the 2 stroke things around the house lol. We just went to the station and filled a 5 gal jug up with 93 and put it in (I spilled it all over myself and smelled like gas all day at school lol)
No running problems related to that that I can remember. lol

Jacking up the Malibu to change front brakes. I usually put the jack under the radiator support, and there is a bolt that makes sure the jack doesn't move. About half way up the jack slips and drops the car with the jack wedged between the engine and the radiator. I had to borrow another jack to get that one free. Luckily it only broke the electric fans, which had popped off the radiator and out the top without damaging anything on the way out.