20th anniversary: marriage

We were married 12 days after 9/11, so were still a ways from double digits, but we've been together for good since the mid-90s and were close friends since the mid-80s. She was on board for motorcycle roadracing on a bicycle mechanic's budget, living in a really horrid multi-year DIY renovation project of a house that's finally finished, and all the ups and downs in between. Hands down the best thing I've ever done and I'm truly fortunate.

Congrats to all the long timers who get it right. My mom and dad had their 60th last spring.

Marry someone who isn't stupid. That's my advice. Everytime things are going well between the wife and I, I think "man, I'm glad your not dumb".

Joey

In reply to motomoron: If you kept it together through a home remodel, you've got it made. In Feb. we celebrated our 21st Trust and mutual respect go a long way.

We had left over soup for diner. Woo hoo. Then I did a bunch of homework (in Grad school, and working 45 hours a week).

Then we went to sleep....

The trip to Alaska should be a lot more fun.

I wonder what the average number of years for a mariage is on this board. Seems that those that are maried or in a truly commited relationship have been for a while. Anyone more savy care to create a poll?

17 yrs here and I love her more today than then. Of course her opinion may differ

I second the mutual respect and trust

Datsun1500 wrote: 1 secret that I can pass on. When we got married we became our own family, and family comes first. Not Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, etc. Your family comes first. Spouse, Kids, etc. We are in this together for the happiness of our family, everyone else comes 2nd.

there is iron in these words.

congratulations to everyone who's making it work, regardless of how many years you've got under your belts. my wife and i are steadily working our way up the chart -- will be 10 years in October.

Marie is probably going to get a medal for putting up with me together 28 married 22 years . Have fun in Alaska get some pictures of russia for us

Biggest problem we have is each others kids. They are all their 30's and 40's, but can still be major pains. Also, presently watching my granddaughter go through a nasty split after only 3 years. When that punk started to beat her, he put his own life in jeopardy. She didn't tell anybody, until she left him, knowing what her father would do. He still came close to losing it. Never hit a woman.

cwh wrote: Never hit a woman.

I hit a girl once. Not a punch, but definitely a hit/tackle thing-it wasn't necessary to do with such force, but instinct took over and I wasn't going to take chances. Saw the knife in her hand, and was pretty sure she was going to take her own life. I don't regret that decision at all.

But in 99.99999999999999% of situations, if you hit a woman you are scum.

Yeah, I have a real problem with it- makes me a little crazy. ~20 years ago, I came across a guy beating a woman on the sidewalk along Federal Highway in Ft.L. I stopped the car, stood by my door and yelled at him to stop. He hit her a good one and yelled at me to berkeley off. Reached into my car for my pistol, leveled it across the top of the car and repeated my request. He gave me the same response. OK, now what do you do? I tossed the gun back in the car and we had an up close and personal discussion. I know I broke his jaw and nose, busted my knuckles pretty bad, and realized he was a pimp and she was his hooker. So I hung him up on a fence and left. All I got out of that was a good story and sore hands.

Congratulations! Buy her a new Weedeater or something.

20 years in May. No idea what to get for her. Told her a long time ago, " You ever leave me, I'm going with you, so we better make it work." Congratulations!

Congratulations to you!

It'll be 20 years married for us at the very end of 2010; 24 years since we got engaged, and 27 years since we met.

It's come close to ending on a variety of occasions but fortunately whichever one of us was feeling stupid crazy at the time wised up in time to prevent something drastic. I'll second whoever said he loved his wife more now than he did then. As others have said, trust and respect are the keys to surviving the long haul.

Now I need to start shopping for that engagement ring I never really bought her 24 years ago when I was broke.

20 years last month. She drives me crazy but I don't know what I would do without her.

Steve

All our friends said the wife and I shouldn't get married. We would argue with each other at least once a day and we still do. We will have been arguing with each other for 42 years in August.