Dr. Hess said:
Uber fits on your phone.
This is one of the best sentences ever constructed.
Dr. Hess said:
Uber fits on your phone.
This is one of the best sentences ever constructed.
I have a very good friend who i had to turn my back on to help him. His rock bottom would not happen until he had no one else to turn to. He is clean and we hang out a few times a year and text a few times a month. He has thanked me.
On the other hand, i found out 2 days ago my wife has been defrauding the IRS and all the extra taxes i paid went to covering what she didnt, plus she added $1500-$2000 a year to our running tab. Last April i got smart and did the taxes myself, which conluded that after my refund paid off the balance she claimed we had i would get $1150 back. Great right? Nope, she knew all along the balance was $7800 and let me buy her an $800 phone since i would be able to pay it off when the refund i thought i was getting came in. We have a 14 year old son. I can wait 4 years cant i?
So much for going to the Challenge for my birthday (Oct 21st)
The only time I lent a friend one of my cars was when he the engine let go in his Civic during an autox. He is the kind person who really takes care of his stuff. His Civic had over 200k on it but looked brand new.
I lent him my Miata for a "couple of weeks" while he got the engine sorted in his car. 2 weeks became 5. He was sincerely apologetic offered to rent a car if wanted the Miata back. When he returned it, it was fully detailed including the engine bay. It had full tank of premium gas. It was so much cleaner than when he borrowed i joking asked if would like to borrow anything else. He is still my best friend.
I've been berkeleyed over by a few "freinds"in my time. But hasn't changed my desire to help people. I do, however, cut those scavengers loose.
Dont let this crappy situation change you.
You might want to reevaluate what being a friend means, he doesn't seem to understand. I would get the car back, send him a bill, then lose his number forever.
There was one of those "hard luck cases" at my church, whose neglected car broke down and left him without a way to get to work.
"I only live a few miles from my job, does anyone have a bicycle they could spare? I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job."
I gave him my very nice Schwinn Le Tour which I'd purchased with some birthday money when I was a kid. It had sentimental value to me and I hated to let it go, but I wasn't riding it much at the time and I wanted to do something good.
My bike showed up on Craigslist the next day.
Worst was probably the guy who did the initial engine swap work on my AE92, largely documented in the build thread for that car. Not someone I would've considered a best friend, but he proceeded to waste time like crazy on my car, putting it on the backmost burner in favor of any and every other job that came his way (especially shiny bolt-on jobs), even though I was not paying him uncompetitively by any measure. I'm not sure I'd piss on him if he was on fire now. I'd at least piss around him first and tell him "don't worry, I'll get to you eventually" 
In retrospect, there were warning signs: on the local car forum he used to shill his garage services in the troubleshooting section, which he was a moderator of at the time, and on his business card he gave himself the job title of "CEO" of his 1-man operation.
I dunno. We can all be hardasses and big dogs from behind a keyboard. I had a friend and roommate borrow my truck, back it into the side of my car, and then try to tell me he didn't do it. I got pissed off, said some really mean things, and proceeded to kick him out. I do regret some of those things, and while we'd probably be cordial if we ran into each other now, we're not friends.
This kind of stuff is never easy and always sucks. I don't have a good solution.
Remember your elementary school training, "I statements". As in "I feel used when" or "I'm worried about".
On the flip side, I've loaned out cars to folks (autocross friends and GRMers) and been remarkably happy with the result and glad to be able to help.
**Ashkyun is a solid dude who knows how to repay a car borrowing, more people should be like him.
914Driver said:I would chat with a lawyer, if the guy is ghosting you he knows he was wrong. You need some leverage in getting him to pay for the car to get back to the condition it was when he received it.
Then let it go; you don't need the gray hair or ulcers.
The ghosting part makes me wonder if he still has the vehicle.
In reply to Type Q :
That is the definition of a best friend. Not these other shiny happy people people have described.
Too many times.
I used to be a really nice guy who would do almost anything to help someone out. Guess where that got me.
Now you know why I'm an shiny happy person.
JamesMcD said:My bike showed up on Craigslist the next day.
Did you buy it back?
This friendship would be over it was me.
Additionally, I'd seriously be concerned there was a title loan out on the car (or something like that, not sure how they work) if the key is missing. I'd also change the cylinder once I got it back.
This kind of thing is also exactly what civil small claims court is for.
I'll pile on what others fear too...
My initial thought to,"I lost the key" is "I have lent the car to someone else to pay off another debt."
Have you searched CL/FB for Miata parts?
JamesMcD said:There was one of those "hard luck cases" at my church, whose neglected car broke down and left him without a way to get to work.
"I only live a few miles from my job, does anyone have a bicycle they could spare? I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job."
I gave him my very nice Schwinn Le Tour which I'd purchased with some birthday money when I was a kid. It had sentimental value to me and I hated to let it go, but I wasn't riding it much at the time and I wanted to do something good.
My bike showed up on Craigslist the next day.
Had a similar thing happen to me, he was decent enough to keep and use my old Raleigh hardtail MTB but not decent enough to refrain from stealing a lighting rig from me the very first time he was left unattended with access to my stuff. Unattended apart from a security camera system that is.
Justjim75 said:So much for going to the Challenge for my birthday
It sounds like marriage counseling might be a better investment anyway.
Nordic: Regardless of how you view this guy, it seems pretty obvious how he views you and that is clearly not as a friend.
Perhaps he is a friend with a substance issue or other addiction, but those people are not good "friend" material to a stable person when they are in that condition. It doesn't mean that you can't be friendly and try to help, but you are not going to have an equally yoked relationship.
And I would consider anything loaned to someone in that position to be a gift given. So, unless you want to give him your Miata, don't loan it.
I know it's too late, and I agree with what's been said several times: Go get your car and loan him nothing else. I also, as offered, would send a letter outlining the damages and requesting payment at his earliest convenience, but would not keep a copy and would proceed to forget all about it.
I have learned that people take the best care of their own stuff. So i don't expect anything I loan to be treated better than how I've seen them treat their stuff.
The only person that usually breaks my stuff when I loan it too them is my dad, but he atleast pays for parts to fix it since he can't do it himself anymore. I once lost 2 friends over a truck. I recently loaned a young friend my ranger when he crashed his s10. Gave him 3 weeks to either buy a vehicle or the parts to fix his truck. As terrible as he is with money I was amazed he made the deadline.
All - I want to thank you for the thoughts and opinions. It is amazing how many of you seemed to know the person/behavior with so few details. I really appreciate the sounding board.
A buddy of mine will be picking up the car today and taking it to Hobieracer's, "Hoopes", house for me to collect at a later time. Priority 1 was getting my property back and ending the stress and frustration. I will update on how things go here in the near future.
So, the car is back in my possession... or at least of trusted friends. The car will need a deep cleaning and quite a bit of body work, but it is away from the person who borrowed it.
I have mentioned in other threads that I have about $6K in parts purchased for this vehicle. The good news is a build thread will begin in the near future on bringing back this car and making into a true giant killer. Stay tuned. 
RE: The "best friend"... IDK. I have better things to occupy my time and energy. The only feedback I got RE: picking up the car is he was all smiles. He mentioned the key being in the possession or at least lost by a girlfriend in Houston... not sure how everything fits together and I don't really care. He sent me a video of the car loaded on leaving his property. No other text or comment. This will probably be the last text we exchange.
In reply to NordicSaab :
Glad you got your car away from him, now forget about it (and him) and just move forward. Looking back will only eat you up with anger.
I had an oddball car that I loved but hardly ever drove: a Peugeot 405 Mi16 (Euro model). This was the early model with the 1.9L alloy block (most had 2.0L iron blocks) and magnesium valvecover (later ones were aluminum). These engines are in huge demand among Peugeot nerds because they swap into the 205 GTI and make a lot more power than the 1.6L but weigh even less.
Buddy of mine was down-on-his-luck and asked to borrow it until his next paycheck when he could afford to fix his econobox. He called me and said "Hey, did you ever notice the engine makes a weird sound?" When I came to pick it up, there was a hole in the block and the valves were smushed. Thanks, buddy!
In reply to NordicSaab :
I'm glad to hear this chapter of the saga has ended. Onward and upward from here!
SVreX said:Sometimes I’m a softie. I’m not good at letting the hammer fall. I keep trying to forgive, and I fail to recognize that sometimes I am hurting someone by not letting them feel the consequences of their actions.
Dude stole you car.
I'm a softie too. 6 years ago my bestie bought my old boat for $3500. He put $700 down and I let him do monthly payments. So far we're up to...hmmm $700... six years later.
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