Funny Dog Issues

So I have three dogs, one male, two females. Everyone is spayed/neutered.

The oldest of the two females since day one that we adopted her humps her face. Basically she licks her self into a tizzy and there she goes. It's as funny as it sounds.

The youngest of the two females has started frantically humping my leg. We adopted her 8 months ago and just now this starts, I don't get it. I just kick her off.

My male dog likes to play fight with the youngest female. However he gets to the point where he starts humping her face. I used to just yell "HEY!" at him, but now it's to the point where I yell "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!"

I don't know what the hell is going on, but I can't stop laughing.

Anyone else have some funny dog issues?

I think it's a dominance thing in your case.

Or you're showing them how to do it wrong.

Your dogs need help, bad.

Mine invented fetch. We didn't teach her, she found a ball one morning and delivered it to us, with the full expectation that we'd throw it. Since we got her at two months from the animal rescue leauge nearby, I have no clue how she learned it. I did learn that it didn't matter how far you chucked it, she takes off after it like a sidewinder missile after a MIG.

Yeah, if they're humping you they are trying to make you their bitch.

Well she's not doing a good job if she's trying to dominate me, because I'm still the Alpha in the house. All the E36 M3 stops as soon as I walk in the door from work. All I have to do is raise my voice when shenanigans begin. Everyone scatters and either lays down or gives me that pathetic "what did I do dad?" look.

I mean no offense, but all of those things make me want to vomit. I'm just not a "dog person."

As far as wildly off-topic threads go, this is 8 gazillion times more fun than the flounder threads. Thanks for the laugh!

ShadowSix wrote: As far as wildly off-topic threads go, this is 8 gazillion times more fun than the flounder threads. Thanks for the laugh!

+1

In reply to poopshovel:

And no offense to you either, but it did say "dog" in the title. You didn't have to read the thread or comment on it either.

Our Golden/Husky mix ate 2/3rds of a box of raisins friday night while we were out to dinner. It cost us about $1k at the vet ER to get him to vomit as many out as possible and do follow up labs for 3 days. that was "Funny".

he'll sing for you if you sing to him. that's pretty entertaining. think of the "I love you" dog but colored like a golden and with uncontrollable sneezing after each yowl.

Lol. Awesome.

Our cocker spaniel is jealous our youngest daughter when I played with her the dog tries to get between us but that's about it it's really not very funny

In reply to bluej:

Just an FYI. If you need a dog to puke, a cap of hydrogen peroxide, down the throat, will do it in under 5 minutes. For free. Dogs, for the most part, can't burp. When the HP foams in their stomach it makes them puke.

That's what my Uncle, the vet, uses when people bring in dogs that get into rat poison.

A greyhound, a whippet, and a saluki walk into a bar. No wait, that's my house!

vwcorvette wrote: A greyhound, a whippet, and a saluki walk into a bar. No wait, that's my house!

Sighthounds for life!

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: In reply to poopshovel: And no offense to you either, but it did say "dog" in the title. You didn't have to read the thread or comment on it either.

Yeah, I get it, but your definition of "Funny dog issues" and mine are two totally different things. Sorry to interrupt the hilarity that is your canine masturbation thread.

Toyman01 wrote: In reply to bluej: Just an FYI. If you need a dog to puke, a cap of hydrogen peroxide, down the throat, will do it in under 5 minutes. For free. Dogs, for the most part, can't burp. When the HP foams in their stomach it makes them puke. That's what my Uncle, the vet, uses when people bring in dogs that get into rat poison.

Yeah, we read about that. I actually gloved up and stuck my finger down his throat and tickled around for a few minutes trying to get him to vomit since we didn't have peroxide in the house (Stupid!) but I only managed to get him to dry heave a couple times. We figured best just to take him in case it was too late for induced vomiting. Luckily, he's fine.

Also, for anyone else reading this, the big dangers for dogs are: chocolate, grapes/raisins(kidney failure!), macadamia nuts and salmon. oh and yeasty bread. can burst their stomache.

poopshovel wrote:

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: In reply to poopshovel: And no offense to you either, but it did say "dog" in the title. You didn't have to read the thread or comment on it either.

Yeah, I get it, but your definition of "Funny dog issues" and mine are two totally different things. Sorry to interrupt the hilarity that is your canine masturbation thread.

Hey, I understand. Not everyone finds the same things funny. For instance I don't care for dead baby jokes. Some people find them hilarious for whatever reason.

bluej wrote: Also, for anyone else reading this, the big dangers for dogs are: chocolate, grapes/raisins(kidney failure!), macadamia nuts and salmon. oh and yeasty bread. can burst their stomache.

Chocolate and grapes I'm familiar with, Macadamia nuts I don't really care, since I don't even like them, but what is the deal with salmon?

vwcorvette wrote: A greyhound, a whippet, and a saluki walk into a bar. No wait, that's my house!

I have had an I G and a whippet

Streetwiseguy wrote:

bluej wrote: Also, for anyone else reading this, the big dangers for dogs are: chocolate, grapes/raisins(kidney failure!), macadamia nuts and salmon. oh and yeasty bread. can burst their stomache.

Chocolate and grapes I'm familiar with, Macadamia nuts I don't really care, since I don't even like them, but what is the deal with salmon?

Salmon or Fish in general isn't bad for dogs as long as its been cooked thoroughly. Raw fish has a bacteria that can kill a dog.

Here's a good list of what dogs can't eat:

http://pets.webmd.com/dogs/ss/slideshow-foods-your-dog-should-never-eat

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: Here's a good list of what dogs can't eat: http://pets.webmd.com/dogs/ss/slideshow-foods-your-dog-should-never-eat

I note that list doesn't include Volkswagens, boots or pick ax handles, all of which I've seen a dog try to eat.

Brett_Murphy wrote:

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: Here's a good list of what dogs can't eat: http://pets.webmd.com/dogs/ss/slideshow-foods-your-dog-should-never-eat

I note that list doesn't include Volkswagens, boots or pick ax handles, all of which I've seen a dog try to eat.

It may not kill them though.

poopshovel wrote:

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: In reply to poopshovel: And no offense to you either, but it did say "dog" in the title. You didn't have to read the thread or comment on it either.

Yeah, I get it, but your definition of "Funny dog issues" and mine are two totally different things. Sorry to interrupt the hilarity that is your canine masturbation thread.

I'm with poopy. I'm totally not into getting raped by my pet.

Joey

joey48442 wrote:

poopshovel wrote:

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: In reply to poopshovel: And no offense to you either, but it did say "dog" in the title. You didn't have to read the thread or comment on it either.

Yeah, I get it, but your definition of "Funny dog issues" and mine are two totally different things. Sorry to interrupt the hilarity that is your canine masturbation thread.

I'm with poopy. I'm totally not into getting raped by my pet. Joey

Yeah I never said I enjoyed it.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: The youngest of the two females has started frantically humping my leg. We adopted her 8 months ago and just now this starts, I don't get it. I just kick her off.

Do you wear Axe?