funny or amusing things while doing deliverys

i have to say that after today at work i had to ask anyone else if they have had any amusing or funny things happen while doing some type of delivery job, waether pizza or something else. I do pizza delivery myself and here is a few of the things that have been coo over the past few years.

today i had a chick answer the door in a towel......

i have a naked chick answer the door.....she was 3 years old...

many young ladies in biniki's that where very nice...

lots of cars hidden in garages and other cool stuff that i have to people about...

i bought a car once on a delivery to the dealer that i was getting a car from and did the paperwork really quick on it.....

thats about all i can think about right now.

When I delivered chinese in a college town, I saw a lot of really cool cars for sale, but mostly, I just got bad tips and wieird customers.

Im a courier fulltime and deliver pizza partime. I too have delivered to hot chicks in bikinis and short robes that tease and offer something in exchange for a free pizza... obviously just messing with me. Ive also delivered to a guy that was so wasted that thought he gave me a 5 dollar tip when its actually a 50 even though I repeatedly told him so. I also saw a lot of cool cars.

I've been a pizza guy for twelve years (I know, sad, but it pays my mortgage and keeps me in miatas) and I don't have any good naked chick stories. None. Maybe it's the town I live in, Holly.

Joey

Joey, come deliver to me, I'll answer the door in just a bath towel, I'll even shave my back for ya
Who do you deliver for?

Joey, I don't think that's sad. Any job today is a good one, and one that you've had for 12 years that keeps you in car parts and makes mortgage payments is an excellent one. We are all prostitutes.

Ive been doing deliveries about 15 years now. packages not piazza. Have seen alot. Early morning will get you chics out of the shower in a towel, Had one yesterday that was a 10 for sure. But knock drop and run is still best, case in point couple years ago a dirty unshavin loser in his forties answered the door wearing only a depends diaper.

I sold a car to a FedEx driver for $50. Just wanted it gone and didn't want to bother towing it myself.

When I did in-home computer repair, I got a good few barely dressed people, and they KNEW I was coming, usually hours in advance. Unfortunately, never anyone under the age of 50. Always got good tips from them, though.

Try delivering pizza to the hood in a P71. That big spotlight is great for reading house numbers. Once returned to my car and found a baby goat sitting in the car.

There are a bunch of pizza delivery stories out there, here's just one website: http://tipthepizzaguy.com/stories/

I delivered for a theatrical rental firm for years.... I have tons of stories.. but I doubt most people would enjoy them.. you have to know the sorts of house guys I delivered to.

lol makes me miss delivering pizza... if only more people would order pizza while the kiddies where at school and I could do it with a regularish family shift doh

Um... back up a bit there! What about the baby goat?

I was once offered a bj as a tip from a drunk girl. I said I would much rather have cash but I got none.

Other than the random $20 tips from drunk college students that didn't know what was going on that is about the best story I have.

I was delivering Pizza once and watched as the woman across the street (who I believe had just caught her husband cheating) proceeded to create custom art out of a C4 vette with a Louisville slugger, all the while spouting profanities (Like "you wanna &$% her? HUH! you wanna #&% her? well good luck getting her to %$&* you when you pull up in this!!! WHAM WHAM WHAM etc...). The customer I was delivering to and I stood in amazement watching this display for several minutes. The guy was trying to stop the woman, but she had a 'roided out Mark McGuire haymaker swing which she aimed for his head every time he got to close. Well, after 2 or 3 minutes of the customer and I staring wide eyed and slack jawed like a 13 year old boy who found dads stash of Playboys as this poor corvette got mercilessly pummeled, she pointed the bat at us and asked if we wanted to be next...we concluded our transaction quickly and silently, and I sped off...

Best PG13 delivery story evaarrrrrr !!!!!!

I encountered a delivery guy on his roof. The intersection near where I lived was on a hill. There was a driveway parallel to the street just down hill from the street. The road and driveway were separated by a retaining wall. The wall was about 4-5 high. Pizza driver thought he was backing into the driveway, but had half the car on the wall. The result flipped the car. He was not hurt, but the pizza and car were a wreck. To dominoes credit, they had a new pizza to the intended destination in very short order. Poor guy had no idea what happened. When I pulled him out the car he was absolutely bewildered.

Dr. Hess wrote: Joey, I don't think that's sad. Any job today is a good one, and one that you've had for 12 years that keeps you in car parts and makes mortgage payments is an excellent one. We are all prostitutes.

It's hasn't all been with the same company, stores have came and web in this town. It's actually been 13 years now that I think about it. thanks for the kind words!

Boost, I deliver for hungry Howies.

My coworker has a funny story where the customer was getting arrested when he showed up. Signed the credit card receipt with her hands in cuffs!

Joey

I delivered for about a year, and then moved into management. I could tell you a few stories but I will just give you one for the time being.

Once upon a time....bah. At the time of this story I was managing a Dominio's store on the outskirts of Gainesville, we delivered to a little town about 8 miles outside of Gville that had it's own "main st", which by alachua county's grid system was pegged at 250th st. now my drivers that had been working for me all knew this, and if we got a customer that claimed thier address was blah blah blah south main, we all knew it was out in this little town, as we were 143 blocks out from main st in gainesville and we knew darn good and well that there were closer stores on main, that delivered out there. Had this chick in her late 40's that came out to our store to pull some extra hours, she had been with the company almost a month at that time, so I figured "sure she can handle this area" I sent her on one of our south main runs, since she was still considered "new" she only got singles unless they were really close to each other. Now about 30 min later I get a phone call from the customer, "hey wheres my food" to which my answer was "I'm sorry Mr. Smith the driver left with it a while ago, I'll tell you what, take 50% off your order, your new total is ____. Go easy on my driver she's new to the area, thank you, and I'll call her and find out where she is." Her phone went strait to voice mail. Apparently she had a prepaid phone, and only turned it on when she needed it. At this point I'm a little worried about where one of my drivers is at. About 20 min later customer calls back, asks for me by name and again asks about his food, "Sir I'm sorry about this but if she hasn't gotten there by now, I don't know where she's at, her phone goes strait to voicemail. I'll take care of you, just make sure you take care of my driver, give me 20 min's and you'll have your food." I remade the order, and while it was in the oven I called the 5 other stores in the area, "hey if any of your drivers see's so and so's car have them call me and let me know".

I got the customers food delivered to them, the driver that got it there, got a 8 dollar tip and I got a phone call thanking me for the free food.

Still no sign of my missing driver.

She showed up almost 2 hours later back at the store, and after a long talk of why didn't your cell work, and south main is 250th street, blah blah. She had gone to south main in gainesville, luckily the address didn't exist over there and she didn't try the random door approach to delivering it. So I sent her out on another delivery, this time with instructions on where the house was and how to get there, pretty prominent family in the little town, has a buisness on the main drag through town, follow the road around back of the buisness and the BIG white victorian style house is the one you're looking for.

At this time we got our second wind for rush that night, so I got back to work, and lost track of time. 30 min's later I get a phone call, "hey I ran outta gas" "are you freaking kidding me?" "ok, did you at least make the delivery already?""nah got turned around" "oh man. "ok that's gonna be a free order when it get's there I'll get someone out there to run that delivery and then get you some gas"

Called the customer, explained what happened and told them it was gonna be free. Then since all my other drivers were out on deliveries, I asked one of my insiders/part time drivers if he would run and help. After gas money, and the promise when he got back he could go home, he took off running. Now this kid drove an 89 Supra turbo, that made about 400 at the wheels, interior had been all done up and was a very very nice car. He get's to this chick in about 8 minutes, picks her up, and makes the delivery. Takes her to the gas station to get some gas, and this lady is too cheap to buy a gas can, so she freakin gets a 44oz PAPER CUP, and fills it with gas, and expects him to take her back to her car. (which we found out later was only about 5 blocks from her car.)

By the time he gets back to the store, in another record run down that strip. I had gotten a phone call from the customer "THERE ARE 2 SLICES MISSING FROM MY PIZZA!" "sorry sir I will take care of that right away. is there anything else I can get you?" remake the order, put it in my fastest drivers hands, and pray nothing else goes wrong.

About the time the order was leaving the second time I see her car pull in the front. As she walked in, I asked her into the office along with one of my assistants working that night to ask her about the missing slices.

"Did you eat any of that pizza you just delivered?""well yeah, I got hungry, while I was waiting.""ok, get your stuff together, you're done for the night" "and you can call the area supervisor to talk about when you can work again"

when she got in to check out for the night she was 15$ short......."why are you so short?""well I ran outta gas and had to take some out of my bank to buy gas" are you freaking kidding me? "ok I'll cover the 15, just be safe and go home."

When she met with the area supervisor the next day, do you believe she had the balls to say I was "picking" on her and singling her out, because I only gave her 1 run at a time? Holy crap. They gave her another chance at the downtown stores with MUCH smaller delivery area's. 2 weeks later she threatened to shoot another manager as he was doing the same thing, she kept screwing up, so he would only give her 1 delivery at a time. I'm sure there's more to this story that I'm leaving out but, I can't think of it right now. you wanted strange and funny well there ya go.

Cheers!

I used to deliver industrial electrical equipment, robotic parts, etc. One of our suppliers had a Lincoln Mark II sitting beside their building, it never moved, just quietly rusting away. Sad, I asked if it for sale several times, owner always said no. Once in a while I would get a run to the Air Force base. Cool stuff to see. I would get 'lost' and give myself a little tour....funny thing was, it was easier to get through their security than GM or Ford! (this was 10 years ago).

sounds like everyon has come evry werid or strange stuff to talk about, but ti think if nothing else it was worth posting something like this. but i have ask about the story and the baby goat though?!!!!!

hey gear head, where did you find that avtar pic in you posts? thats funny, i would have to did out my copy of it in my pics at home.

Spinout007 wrote: I delivered for about a year, and then moved into management. I could tell you a few stories but I will just give you one for the time being. Once upon a time....bah. At the time of this story I was managing a Dominio's store on the outskirts of Gainesville, we delivered to a little town about 8 miles outside of Gville that had it's own "main st", which by alachua county's grid system was pegged at 250th st. now my drivers that had been working for me all knew this, and if we got a customer that claimed thier address was blah blah blah south main, we all knew it was out in this little town, as we were 143 blocks out from main st in gainesville and we knew darn good and well that there were closer stores on main, that delivered out there. Had this chick in her late 40's that came out to our store to pull some extra hours, she had been with the company almost a month at that time, so I figured "sure she can handle this area" I sent her on one of our south main runs, since she was still considered "new" she only got singles unless they were really close to each other. Now about 30 min later I get a phone call from the customer, "hey wheres my food" to which my answer was "I'm sorry Mr. Smith the driver left with it a while ago, I'll tell you what, take 50% off your order, your new total is ____. Go easy on my driver she's new to the area, thank you, and I'll call her and find out where she is." Her phone went strait to voice mail. Apparently she had a prepaid phone, and only turned it on when she needed it. At this point I'm a little worried about where one of my drivers is at. About 20 min later customer calls back, asks for me by name and again asks about his food, "Sir I'm sorry about this but if she hasn't gotten there by now, I don't know where she's at, her phone goes strait to voicemail. I'll take care of you, just make sure you take care of my driver, give me 20 min's and you'll have your food." I remade the order, and while it was in the oven I called the 5 other stores in the area, "hey if any of your drivers see's so and so's car have them call me and let me know". I got the customers food delivered to them, the driver that got it there, got a 8 dollar tip and I got a phone call thanking me for the free food. Still no sign of my missing driver. She showed up almost 2 hours later back at the store, and after a long talk of why didn't your cell work, and south main is 250th street, blah blah. She had gone to south main in gainesville, luckily the address didn't exist over there and she didn't try the random door approach to delivering it. So I sent her out on another delivery, this time with instructions on where the house was and how to get there, pretty prominent family in the little town, has a buisness on the main drag through town, follow the road around back of the buisness and the BIG white victorian style house is the one you're looking for. At this time we got our second wind for rush that night, so I got back to work, and lost track of time. 30 min's later I get a phone call, "hey I ran outta gas" "are you freaking kidding me?" "ok, did you at least make the delivery already?""nah got turned around" "oh man. "ok that's gonna be a free order when it get's there I'll get someone out there to run that delivery and then get you some gas" Called the customer, explained what happened and told them it was gonna be free. Then since all my other drivers were out on deliveries, I asked one of my insiders/part time drivers if he would run and help. After gas money, and the promise when he got back he could go home, he took off running. Now this kid drove an 89 Supra turbo, that made about 400 at the wheels, interior had been all done up and was a very very nice car. He get's to this chick in about 8 minutes, picks her up, and makes the delivery. Takes her to the gas station to get some gas, and this lady is too cheap to buy a gas can, so she freakin gets a 44oz PAPER CUP, and fills it with gas, and expects him to take her back to her car. (which we found out later was only about 5 blocks from her car.) By the time he gets back to the store, in another record run down that strip. I had gotten a phone call from the customer "THERE ARE 2 SLICES MISSING FROM MY PIZZA!" "sorry sir I will take care of that right away. is there anything else I can get you?" remake the order, put it in my fastest drivers hands, and pray nothing else goes wrong. About the time the order was leaving the second time I see her car pull in the front. As she walked in, I asked her into the office along with one of my assistants working that night to ask her about the missing slices. "Did you eat any of that pizza you just delivered?""well yeah, I got hungry, while I was waiting.""ok, get your stuff together, you're done for the night" "and you can call the area supervisor to talk about when you can work again" when she got in to check out for the night she was 15$ short......."why are you so short?""well I ran outta gas and had to take some out of my bank to buy gas" are you freaking kidding me? "ok I'll cover the 15, just be safe and go home." When she met with the area supervisor the next day, do you believe she had the balls to say I was "picking" on her and singling her out, because I only gave her 1 run at a time? Holy crap. They gave her another chance at the downtown stores with MUCH smaller delivery area's. 2 weeks later she threatened to shoot another manager as he was doing the same thing, she kept screwing up, so he would only give her 1 delivery at a time. I'm sure there's more to this story that I'm leaving out but, I can't think of it right now. you wanted strange and funny well there ya go. Cheers!

I delivered for Papa John's and Pizza Hut. That sounds like a typical Saturday night at one of the sores I worked at. Then that same person would have the audacity to ask me why I had made $85 that night. Considering I busted my ass hauling 5 and 6 orders at a time to make money while they went on singles and got high, I was slightly insulted.

Funny how you mentioned the whole high thing........I had one guy who worked for my wife and I, we managed different stores for the same chain, that literally you could tell when he was sober, he SCREWED UP THAT MUCH!!!!! if he was stoned, he barely ever screwed up, wasn't the fastest, but I could count on him to not screw up a triple if he had been smoking... Usually my stores were fairly drama free, after I had been there for about 2 months, everything was smooth and everyone made money. The manager that trained me taught me that if you provide the service, they will come. My insiders were cross trained in almost every position in the store, my drivers knew that if they came in and there wasn't an order waiting to go, they had BETTER have their butts on the make line, or phones, (nothing like having a corporate inspector come in and ask to time someone making a pizza and having one of you're drivers step up and beat half the managers in the company). My stores were pretty much always rocking during dinner rush.

I appologize if I come across as cocky and arrogant, but when the area supervisors, finally stepped back and let me run things my way, we rocked out! every night. It was not uncommon for me to have 3-5 drivers a night make over 100$ in tips alone. Also my stored didn't have the problems of not having managers, half my insiders were trained to run shift, and do it well, burned lots of labor training, but I promoted more assistant managers out of my stores than any of the other 5 in the area.

It's the mid-80's. I'm a disaffected punk rock musician and aspiring barfly, and I've tired of being a bicycle messenger. I have an 80' Civic 1300DX that's lowered w/ some sweet 13" (+1", baby) rims w/ interior all torn out. Perfect car courier ride. I'd brought donuts and bagels to the office my first day and I was a native English speaker so I was getting some love from the dispatchers generally.

I had a regular pickup every week; it was always first of the day, on the same day. I'd pick up at a doctors office and deliver to a lab. The package was a white 1 pint Chinese takeaway container every time. It was probably the 6th or 8th time I was doing this run, when curiosity got the better of me and I opened it for a peak.

It was a little blob of E36 M3. and by E36 M3 I mean human feces.

I radioed dispatch at that point: "Dispatch - 21, dispatch - 21...over" "21 - Dispatch" "You know how we're always sayin' how delivery is a sh1tty job what with having runs and dropping loads all day?...this one takes the prize..."

I also routinely delivered a paycheck route that included the "Bob Costascat lounge modeling studio".

I used to deliver burgers & other foodstuffs for Patty Burger (it was essentially In & Out in Wisconsin, but more expensive and less insanely good) on the Monday/Friday 5PM-4AM shift here in Milwaukee. Frankly the food was mediocre, but my roommate Fox & I were the only drivers out of the 6 working there that regularly averaged upwards of 35% tips through the night; my steed was always either my Coupe Quattro or my 900 turbo; my roommate always had his Suzuki GS550 (bike delivery FTW) or Subaru Legacy. Our shop quickly gained a reputation for stupidly fast deliveries, as well as silly hijinks. I've got a few funny stories:

1: The first district cops always came to our restaurant for their late-night lunch break. They just loved something about greasy triple cheeseburgers and fries at 2AM. This presented the great advantage of getting to know all the cops that worked while I was working (they never seemed to notice the pot smell). One time, heading back from a delivery downtown in the Saab, I was at a stop light behind a pair of guys on liter bikes; neither wearing a helmet, let alone full-length pants or a jacket! They're both revving the piss out of their bikes, and as the light turned green, one of the guys stalled his bike while the other sped off. When he got it going again, he took off like a bat out of hell; and I was right on his ass the whole way. We were half through the long sweeping right-left-uphill right Water St. corner (yes, it's as fun as it sounds) when a P71 rips off of a side street and takes chase, lights off. By this point, I'm stopped at the next light with the biker guy still in front of me. The cop (first district, of course) pulled up next to me and gave me the evil eyes like I've never seen before. I gave a visibly silly shrug and a goofy smile in return. When the light turned green, on went the siren, and the biker got pulled over right in front of me! Even better, I made a $10 tip on that run.

2: We had a guy, Lamb, who lived relatively close to our store and would regularly make pretty strange requests. We had caller I.D. at the store, and not long after I started working he called up the store. My manager at the time snickered and gave me the phone; he ordered a double cheeseburger and fries, but I was bewildered when he asked for 2 packs of Marlboro Lights, a pint of Haagen-Daaz vanilla ice cream, and a DiGiorno meat lover's pizza! My manager assured me it was okay and told me to just make the purchases out of my bank. While skeptical, thinking it was some kind of hazing, I complied. When I got to his house, he asked what the grocery bill was ($20 something if I remember right). Well, he paid me cash for the groceries, then wrote in a $75 tip on his credit card! I was dumbfounded! I thanked him up and down and went back to the store, when I found out he was a regular. I got 2-3 deliveries a month to him after that, and despite requests as strange as very specific bottles of wine, it was always worth at least a $30 profit to me.

3: A few months before our shop closed up due to E36 M3ty new management after the original owner sold the store, our manager dreamed up the idea to distribute coupons for free burgers to generate buzz (for a rapidly deteriorating product), at bars and stuff (what a great idea; "I'm berkeleying plastered dude, let's drive to Patty Burger!"). Anyways, I figured I could use this to my advantage, as management simply couldn't figure out that giving to free food coupons to every drunk carnivore who would take them was a bad idea (this essentially killed the store). I grabbed a handful of coupons and kept them in my glovebox; any time I had a delivery to a regular who was a known good tipper (or cute girl) I handed over a couple with the bag and said "your next ones are on me". The repeat customers on my shift skyrocketed, and I regularly received tips upwards of 40%. We all showed up to work and found the doors locked not too long after, but I still see one of the guys I delivered to a lot at the occasional party here or there, and he always calls me "the awesome Patty Burger guy".

I'll think of more.