Fighting the good fight myself. Wife and I had a baby on Halloween and we have a two and a half year old. Daycare isn't an option, so it's all about the kids. The toddler this week decided that he doesn't nap anymore and that was my break. My time to nap, to work in the shop for a short while, to work out... Can't now. Toddler is raging over lost attention with the baby as it is. Feedings on baby every 3-4 hours... (With burping and keeping upright, max 3 hours sleep at a go, I'm maybe getting 4-5 hours a night)
I'm off work (and so is wife) till late January. No idea how to manage two kids while we work. Toddlers asthma makes daycare a bad idea. My in-laws may or may not be able to assist like they were, but mil drives my wife nuts.
I'm keeping it together for now. Bike rides and go kart rides with the toddler are everything ( if I have any sleep). I suffer from seasonal depression as it is, thankfully I installed a ton of bright lights in the house.
For the rest of you. Set goals you need to work towards. Reward your self for goalposts. Exercise. Eat healthy and fresh. Turn off the TV and get your hands busy. Chart workout improvements. Bike, hike, etc. I used to time myself on mountain biking trails and work on improving.
In reply to mazdeuce - Seth :
Thank You, most days are manageable but a lot of things stacked up this week.
For the "what works for you doesn't for me" crowd, we're not putting stuff out there as the magic fix. We're sharing what works for us so that maybe you can take a snippet from me and a piece from wally and a grain from seth and maybe make your own recipe. We're laying out a road map, which roadside attractions you stop at are entirely up to you. Maybe none of it works and meds are all that help. If putting ourselves out there helps one of our grm brothers/sisters it's been worth it.
Depression and anxiety in the family unit have made this hard and my relationship with my wife is deeply strained. I walk every morning before the rest of the house even wakes up. 2.5 miles helps clear my head for the daily grind. Motorcycle rides helped me a ton this summer but weather makes that a challenge til April here in Detroit. Winter wrenching is hard but I have a new to me heater so I'm back at it now.
For me (social anxiety and depression) getting outside and doing something that's a bit of a challenge seems to help level me out. Mountain biking has probably done more for me than anything else.
And, I try to remember, when the black dog comes around, that my brain is lying to me and things are probably not as bad as I perceive them to be at this time. It definitely doesn't always work, but sometimes.
In reply to Wally (Forum Supporter) :
I think an EGT with a roll bar would help.
It's been a rough year for me and my family. Started off doing OK, then the 'Rona hit. Shortly after that, the Bro and Sis in law decided they were not going to purchase the house after renting it from us for three years.
"Oh, by the way, the shower leaks and the upstairs tub does too. Also, the 4" line out of the house is plugged. And, we don't care about other people's stuff, so the rest of the house is trashed too. Love you, bye!"
I'm around 15k into the unplanned remodel. Broke, tired, thumb is still healing, and straight up burned out on fixing stuff. Don't really care if the Ramcharger lights on fire and blows up. House is livable. Work sucks. Still waiting to move into the safety manager spot I was awarded six months ago. Wife suffers from severe depression, made worse by the fact that she is deaf (communication with masks is practically impossible.). Her family is unsupportive, and pulls the "This is America, we speak english" card when we use ASL in front of them.
My Bass, trains, and GRM are currently the only things keeping me sane, and it's still pretty tenuous. I berkeleying hate 2020.
Recon1342 said:..Wife suffers from severe depression, made worse by the fact that she is deaf (communication with masks is practically impossible.)...
I can only imagine how isolating that must be for her. When I read the above it made me want to give her a hug. Except, of course for the fact that a hug from some dude from the internet that she doesn't know would be an exceptionally high level of creepy.... Anyway, I'm thinking of both of you and hope that things improve for you soon.
Mndsm
MegaDork
12/4/20 12:03 p.m.
I do dumb E36 M3 at work. Regularly. If I can't have fun I have a problem.
In reply to APEowner :
I take hugs from random strangers.
Bob: Happy Birthday!
Apex: Happy new baby!
My wife and I were required to have premarital counseling. We both have some emotional issues, hers was being atraccted to me, and mine are depressive. We were both recommended a book called, "feeling good", by David Burns. It's cognitive therapy for depression. It isn't really a self help book, but gets you to look at your depression and where you may be allowing it to go. There also a part of the book that's a quiz on whether you need professional help or not.
For a ruminator like me, this book has been major for me to capture my thoughts before they go down a deep dark well. The number of people I have recommended this book and it's workbook too, I cannot remember. I used to keep copies at my office to give and loan our. Check it out if you like.
For the last month I have really tried to stay off the junk internet sites. When I want to ruin my mind and mood with junk internet, I click on this forum instead. This forum has been a Godsend to me, as have all of you.
bobzilla said:
In reply to APEowner :
I take hugs from random strangers.
Wally (Forum Supporter) said
In reply to bobzilla :
Me too
And, someday when I meet you guys I'll give you one.
I wish I could explain how or why I've managed to block out my depression. Maybe I went thru enough in my younger years it's easier to block it out.
Were you ever a gamer? I recently bought a PS4 to occupy my down time. Been fun playing gran turismo and call of duty again.
Following along, as I've been what I would call "part-time depressed" for most of my life. Can't tell right now if it's another case of burnout (hey, that would only be the second one in five years) or just the regular case of "the world hates me and I can't do anything right".
As to exercise - does slapping people who tell you to snap out of it count as exercise? 
- I think it occasionally helps in my case, but only if I have a goal like not falling out of my track car wheezing and knackered after a single 20 minute track session. Not been super easy to stay motivated right now, although I'll give it a try in a bit, like right after this post. For everybody who likes exercise as much as I do, it seems to help if I use it as reading time when I'm on my stationary bike, or listen to podcasts.
The recent past has been cripplingly bad for me. Not quite as bad as the divorce but I think that's cause I'm a bit more callused now. I think this is the worst year of my life. I feel like a prisoner to this. My work really meant something to me, I hate that the covid thing has taken that from me. All my projects and tools are there, I can't get to them. my pay has been cut too so that's been harder, my hours at the track have been less because of covid, so that hurts both in terms of income and happiness. I keep thinking that if I could only travel, maybe go around to the national parks or something, that this would be ok, that the time off would seem fruitful, but every time I talk about traveling, everyone shoots it down and so much is closed anyway. I've been trying to go hiking more, but it's pretty boring for me honestly, especially when it's rare to go somewhere new. The political and social environment is scary too, that doesnt help.
Honestly, I'm struggling. And I think more people are than are admitting it (I dont mean just on here).
In reply to Carbon (Forum Supporter) :
Preaching to the choir. The powers that be want to talk about mental health except when it gets in the way.
I have some good news at least. I'm getting my physical pain slowly under control. The last few weeks my left knee has just been hammered. Still have no idea WHAT I did, just something. Finally found a knee brace with hinges and more velcro straps than a masochist's dungeon on it that seems to support the weight and keep the pain manageable. Pain + depression + politics seeping in despite my besteffort to stop it is way too much.
I know this isn't the rants thread, but I feel completely out of control today. It's a big long story, and I'm honestly mentally exhausted from it. Long story short- Work sucks, my boss and I have trouble communicating, and I'm miserable. I interviewed for the safety manager position the company posted six months ago (better hours, less backaches), and I've still not been released from the old position (mechanic) to move over. I'm on light duty due to my thumb surgery, but I'm still expected to be a mechanic. This has led to a serious lack of motivation on my part (I'll freely admit that), and now the boss is bitching about it- and I quote: "You might not even have a safety job anymore". How the berkeley am I supposed to even want to work when you try to motivate me like that?
Am I completely off base? They've had my replacement picked out from another department for months, but nobody wants to lose a guy, so here I remain...
In reply to Recon1342 :
There's always another job, man. My company is conducting "involuntary separations" through December 15th, and I just had to talk to a good friend who has a child on the way and was told he doesn't have a job with the company in 2021. My answer to him was let's get your resume knocked out this weekend, and I've got 3 strong prospects I want you to apply for before the end of the year.
Companies can pull the "You're lucky to have a job here.". But the counterpoint when you've got another offer in hand is, "No, you're LUCKY to have ME." Chin up, this isn't the only path open to you.
Job stress has kept me up well past midnight the last few weeks. I've been watching TV and passing out on the couch (because I can't sleep). Last night something really resonated (from Firefly, if anyone cares to watch): "You run for as long as you can, and when you can't run anymore, you crawl.....and when you can't do that anymore......well, you lean on your friends to carry you".
In reply to Recon1342 :
If you need a break, head south for a weekend. I can't put you up but I'll take you camping, and I think that's better. Seriously.
Carbon, I'm nowhere near you, but I'm only a couple hours from I think 4 national parks. We could easily do 3 in a weekend. Fly out, I'll drive. The Mercury is a choice way to blast some highway miles. See some sights.
To whomever said something like "I'm always happier when I'm working on a project" in this thread. I owe you a beer. I agree with that philosophy. I *am* always happier when I have a project to work on.
i have a product that I make for my other hobby. They are a lot of work but I make good money on them. I haven't made any in a couple years though. It's too much work to make them one at a time. I posted a pre-pay preorder in a couple groups and got 6 buyers in the first couple days.
I also decided to quit putting off upgrading my CNC mill from Mach3 to Centroid Acorn. On Monday I found an Intel NUC PC for 1/2 price on Newegg. I ordered a touch type tool setter from eBay today. As soon as I finish the pre-ordered parts I'm going to upgrade the mill.
That should cure a couple months of winter boredom.
In reply to barefootskater (Shaun) : I might have to take you up on that. Look for a PM in the next few days...
Late to the "party." I don't think I've ever had depression, but this year in particular, thanks to covid and working from home, my anxiety has skyrocketed.
Just noticed this thread and jumping in without reading the whole thing. I'd say one of the most simple things is exercise. I'm not talking about hitting the gym even, just get outside and walk at least two miles. Nothing, nothing I've ever found works as well as that. That may be me as I love to be outdoors, but it's hard to be depressed (in the moment) after a brisk walk.
