Help me beat poor service.

Everywhere I go, I attract poor service like flies to poo. I seem to be invisible, or give off a vibe that I can just be ignored. Within the last 2 weeks, I have had countless retail clerks just walk away from the counter and refuse to let me pay for items and waiters let me sit there with no food or drink, or drive-up lanes with no one working at the window despite the fact that they just helped the car in front of me! Sure, I walk out and don't give them my business and leave bad reviews, but that just doesn't seem enough to me.

Leaving a flaming bag of poo on the counter or table seems a bit extreme, and hard to carry with me everywhere, so what are good alternatives? Perhaps a bullhorn to ask for assistance with? Would the fire marshal frown on a flare gun indoors?

Are you a poor tipper when you typically go out?

I find I usually get pretty good service wherever I go.

But that could also be because of my incredibly masculine beard.

Wear a suit or sport jacket. When I dress for work I get a noticeable bump in service industry types paying attention.

The "I berkeley on the first date" t-shirt considerably less so.

I am a GREAT tipper, but only if I actually receive food. I went to a dinner/movie theater on Monday and they just never brought me a thing. No appetizer, no dinner, just a check at the end of the movie for food that was never provided. (Yes, I asked several times and asked for a manager. Never got anything.) My tip was not punching the smart-ass kid/manager/idiot in the face, which I thought was pretty good.

Maybe you died and havent realized it. You still wander the earth only visible to a select few. Thats probably it because it seems the rest of us have an overwhelmingly postive view of customer service in general. Have you noticed anything strange, like you can walk through walls, or new people have moved into your house and act like youre not there?

Air Horn app for your smartphone. You'll get noticed.

pinchvalve wrote: I seem to be invisible, or give off a vibe that I can just be ignored.

It's not just you...retail clerks and waitstaff do that to everyone.

I am usually dressed well, and often at establishments that cater to the business traveller such as airport restaurants. I mean, here's a guy in an expensive suit with a nice watch and a new Macbook paying with someone's else's money. That should be a huge Red Flag for an expensive meal and a good tipper! If I had swastikas tattooed on my face I couldn't get worse service.

I even try the Karma thing and tip 35% when I get great service. No luck.

In reply to pinchvalve:

Well, I'm at a loss then. I guess the next best theory is what gearheadmb proposed.

Call the establishment from your cell phone and ask for the manager. Ask him/her to visit your table and explain the issue. If the waitstaff don't help you at that point, there's only one solution. Burn it down.

Try this to get attention.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6YIP2pXtzI

I have no advice. I have just been assuming that this kind of thing is normal now, because it certainly is common.

EastCoastMojo wrote: Call the establishment from your cell phone and ask for the manager. Ask him/her to visit your table and explain the issue. If the waitstaff don't help you at that point, there's only one solution. Burn it down.

I did that once. I didn't burn it down, but I did call the manager from the table and asked if he could come to my table. He did, we talked, I walked. As I was walking out he was walking the waitress to the back.

Carry a bell and a small "Please ring bell for service" sign. When the clerk won't show up at the counter, pull this out, set it on the counter, and ring incessantly.

I am usually dressed well, and often at establishments that cater to the business traveller such as airport restaurants. I mean, here's a guy in an expensive suit with a nice watch and a new Macbook paying with someone's else's money.

Go somewhere that doesn't cater to the traveller. You are a dime a dozen to them. Find the local places.

Not only will the food and service probably be better, you won't look like working stiff who is out to eat but is stuck behind his Macbook...

A loud booming laugh and voice often helps. As does a sense of humor.

Things like:

"HAHAHA!, WE'RE NOT DONE YET, COME ON BACK."

"OYE!, WHERE'S THAT WONDERFUL SERVICE YOU FOLK ARE KNOWN FOR? <insert big smile to disarm here."

singing loudly, badly and off key often gets you attention almost instantly. Especially rather bawdy songs.

foxtrapper wrote: A loud booming laugh and voice often helps. As does a sense of humor. Things like: "HAHAHA!, WE'RE NOT DONE YET, COME ON BACK." "OYE!, WHERE'S THAT WONDERFUL SERVICE YOU FOLK ARE KNOWN FOR? <insert big smile to disarm here." singing loudly, badly and off key often gets you attention almost instantly. Especially rather bawdy songs.

Careful, you'll come across like this guy

Perhaps a flatulence issue?

Like this, don't do this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMVvTl83gWg

Want a breakfast sandwich at 11:01? Can't seem to get thru to the staff? There are ways to get the service you demand.

you obviously need a boob job

I'm loving this thread! So much win, my vote is the "carry your own bell" idea.

Tell them you're a writer doing a book on what defines good service.

Tell them your buddy said the place has crappy service but you're here to prove him wrong.

If you're going the 35% route, pull them aside, give them 15% up fron and let them know you really would value their help in taking care of you and your guests...

Or bring a Mac 10

Huh. Maybe it's just me but I rarely have any problem getting decent service. If anything, sometimes the wait staff bug me TOO much.

I did have a bad experience buying one lousy tire at a Wal Mart a while back; it was a quick replacement for a blown trailer tire. I found the tire I wanted on the rack next to the waiting room, grabbed it and the rim, walked over to the counter. It took me like FOREVER to get someone to acknowledge my presence; the tire was mounted quickly once I did. Then I went BACK to the register to pay; I swear it was 15 minutes of people walking by and looking at me (sometimes more than once) and never acknowledging my presence. I finally buttonholed a tech and said 'can you please get someone over here to take my money so I can get going?'. I was tempted to just walk the hell out and take my chances with the Five-Oh.

I noticed after turning 50 that wait staff, clerks etc tended to ignore me as well. Older staff still acknowledges me though. I'd speculate that I remind the youngin's of their parents so yea, they wanna ignore me.