I did it!

I asked for a divorce, and she understood. Thank you all. 

Congrats sounds a little morbid in this case but I’m sure you understand my sentiments and good luck. 

Glove and Boots

In reply to Javelin :

Congratulations! Trust me when I say it gets better from here - maybe not all the time, or right away, but it definitely does. 

Hard decision.  Fingers crossed, good luck with the next chapter.

I'm sorry to have to say congratulations, but... congratulations.  From what I could see of your situation from here,  it sure sounds like the best option for you.  Best of luck and feel free to vent / cry / celebrate here as much as needed as you move forward through this.

You deserve to be happy. If you get into a relationship, you deserve to be respected by your partner too. Good luck.

Hope you are doing well.  Hope it goes along as easily as possible.   

Good luck, I hope you find what will make you and your kids happy.

It is too bad it had come to that but good for you on making that decision.

It took me several solo sessions with the counselor who was supposed to be helping us save our marriage for me to get to where you are now,  and for the first time in years things actually did get better. 

That first step is the big one,  the hardest part of the next step is staying civil and working through the process. 

Thank you everybody for your support and advice. It was the best decision for us individually and as a couple. She was very understanding and we are handling everything with respect for each other. So far, so good! 

I hope everything stays respectful. Good luck on your next chapter!

As difficult as divorce can be, it can also be a huge weight lifted from your shoulders. Good luck and stay positive. 

Keep it civil, remember no matter what she will always be the mother of your children, to that end never involve kids in adult issues, be fair on financial issues but don't give away the farm.  As a licensed mediator i can attest the best attitude to take is what can i give her that doesnt sacrifice my position.

Finally, consider keeping new relationship interest out of the mix for time being.  I hope it works out well for all.

Congrats isn't the right word, but happy to see you make this decision.

I finalized my divorce almost 3 years ago to the day, it was tough at first, but definitely the right decision long term.

Here's to a new and happy future!

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. To many people forget who they are and put themselves through entirely too much peril for no reason. 

z31maniac said:

Congrats isn't the right word, but happy to see you make this decision.

I finalized my divorce almost 3 years ago to the day, it was tough at first, but definitely the right decision long term.

Here's to a new and happy future!

Crawling up on two for me  

Mndsm said:

z31maniac said:

Congrats isn't the right word, but happy to see you make this decision.

I finalized my divorce almost 3 years ago to the day, it was tough at first, but definitely the right decision long term.

Here's to a new and happy future!

Crawling up on two for me  

I'm on my 5th address and 4th job since then. :)

Ovid_and_Flem said:

Keep it civil, remember no matter what she will always be the mother of your children, to that end never involve kids in adult issues, be fair on financial issues but don't give away the farm.  As a licensed mediator i can attest the best attitude to take is what can i give her that doesnt sacrifice my position.

Finally, consider keeping new relationship interest out of the mix for time being.  I hope it works out well for all.

Thank you again for all of your advice. I have followed it all so far and things have gone well.

Ovid_and_Flem said:

be fair on financial issues but don't give away the farm. 

That being said, almost everything material can be replaced. Almost nothing that costs $$ to replace is worth paying $$$$ to lawyers to keep.

My divorce was much more straight forward and civil than my marriage. I left a lot of stuff with her that technically should have been divided and haven't missed any of it.

You definitely did the right thing. Honestly you guys were already divorced, from what you described.  Only better times ahead now.

Glad to hear you have a resolution that makes you happy. I hope the rest of the process is as stress and hassle free as possible.

Javelin said:

Ovid_and_Flem said:

Keep it civil, remember no matter what she will always be the mother of your children, to that end never involve kids in adult issues, be fair on financial issues but don't give away the farm.  As a licensed mediator i can attest the best attitude to take is what can i give her that doesnt sacrifice my position.

Finally, consider keeping new relationship interest out of the mix for time being.  I hope it works out well for all.

Thank you again for all of your advice. I have followed it all so far and things have gone well.

WHAT?? YOU DIDN'T GO MEDIEVAL AND LAWYER UP LIKE EVERYBODY SUGGESTED?

Ovid_and_Flem said:

Keep it civil, remember no matter what she will always be the mother of your children, to that end never involve kids in adult issues, be fair on financial issues but don't give away the farm.  As a licensed mediator i can attest the best attitude to take is what can i give her that doesnt sacrifice my position.

Finally, consider keeping new relationship interest out of the mix for time being.  I hope it works out well for all.

Boy is this the truth.  I wish I had heard these words before I went through my divorce 15 years ago.  The silver lining for me was not having had children together.

I wish the best to you Jav!

Ovid_and_Flem said:WHAT?? YOU DIDN'T GO MEDIEVAL AND LAWYER UP LIKE EVERYBODY SUGGESTED?

Says the lawyer...