DrBoost
SuperDork
8/10/11 6:15 p.m.
Thanks all. When something like that happens you have two choices. Either give up or keep moving forward. My wife and I just kept moving forward, one step at a time. It's been 10 years and it's still hard, real hard sometimes. But we talk about him. My 3 kids didn't know him, he was our first. But they all know him by name and talk about him like they knew him. In reality, what more could I ask for?
Boost, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine outliving my daughter, that just boggles my mind.
oldsaw
SuperDork
8/10/11 11:13 p.m.
DrBoost wrote:
Thanks all. When something like that happens you have two choices. Either give up or keep moving forward. My wife and I just kept moving forward, one step at a time. It's been 10 years and it's still hard, real hard sometimes. But we talk about him. My 3 kids didn't know him, he was our first. But they all know him by name and talk about him like they knew him. In reality, what more could I ask for?
Your loss has made you and your wife the parents you are now. Sharing it with the kids can only reinforce the feelings they know you have for them, too.
Keep moving forward.
I killed my great-grandfather.
He was in the hospital. When we went to visit him he was asleep. My mother asked me to wake him up, I gently shook his hand, and said "wake up Toto" (His name was Otto, at some point it was corrupted to Toto). He woke up and immediately had a heart attack.
I came across a dead homeless man at the gas station closest to Pick-N-Pull a few years ago. Someone had already notified the store, but the ambulance/coroner/police hadn't made it there yet.
I've seen more than a few bodies after they were pulled out of car accidents.
I was sitting in my office doing tax returns minding my own business when a guy comes running in saying he needs an ambulance. He was living in a rented garage across the street from my office. Anyway, the paramedics were there in no time, but his completely naked female companion was already dead from an overdose of something or another. This is probably the closest thing to something interesting ever happening to me at work. Life as a CPA isn't nearly as exciting as you would think.
I watched my Mom die from Cancer when I was 14. I saw a man die at a Dirt track race (wrong place in the pits at the wrong time). I saw a lot of dead people in Iraq. Mostly Iraqis, a few US Service Members.
Boost, that is the one thing that scares me about having children. I really don't know how I would handle loosing one of mine. I am very sorry for your loss.
I must be living a charmed life. I have seen exactly none. The police around here carry a blue tarp in the trunk. Bodies are covered immediately. I've seen a lot of blue tarps though.
Like Poop and others I don't do viewings. I will show up, but staring at a dead body isn't for me. I would much rather remember their lives rather than their deaths.
My funeral is going to be like my grandmothers. A projector with pictures of my life, not a bunch of people staring at my dead body. The wife has also been instructed to do a party, not a memorial. Cook a hog or something. Hell bring whatever race car I have at the time and set up an autocross in a parking lot. A funeral should be a celebration of the life of a person, not the mourning of the death.
cwh
SuperDork
8/11/11 7:12 p.m.
I have made it very clear- cremation, followed by a good old fashioned Irish wake. Tell stories, remember memories, tell pleasant lies, get drunk, remember Chuck. I think that is the perfect way to send me off.
DrBoost
SuperDork
8/11/11 9:53 p.m.
Rusted_Busted_Spit wrote:
Boost, that is the one thing that scares me about having children. I really don't know how I would handle loosing one of mine. I am very sorry for your loss.
I really didn't start this thread as a means to get pitty or attention, in fact 'till typing the list of dead folks I didn't even think to include him in that list, so I do appreciate the sentiment folks.
I remember when my wife got pregnant with Cole, we were excited but I was also terrified that something one day would happen. Well, let me tell you, when THAT something happens, you don't handle it. Not for many years from my experience. You just stumble through life (I'll never forget the first day back at work) trying not to let the experience ruin you.
But, as everyone says there is a silver lining to everything. Mine was that my wife and I learned that we can make it through anything. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was forgive the people responsible. It took 7 years, but one day I was able to sit down with the nurse and have a talk without wanting to take her life. I grew up that day. Now I don't take a single day with my kids for granted and they know I love them. There's my silver lining.
Thanks.
Fatal MC accident a block from my house this afternoon. Gruesome scene... Honda sport bike rider at high rate of speed skidded over 380' and hit a power pole head on, dead on impact, bike flew another 200 plus feet. Four nurses who were taking a break outside of a med center witnessed the crash... said the body exploded when he hit the pole. Body parts were scattered over 40 plus feet, torso here, limbs there. FD was scooping up body parts w/ a shovel and filling bags, one fireman picked up a string of intestines. Whatever they pay these guys is not enough.
I spoke with the coroner, a 30 year veteran, he says this was kinda bad but not the worst. It's a sobering reality these incidents happen and family and friends lost a loved one today. Makes me wonder though about younger riders on sport bikes and getting in way over their head. This was the second high speed MC fatality in the area in the last few days.
BTW, this happened in a 4 lane 35 mph zone within city limits... which only adds to my WTF files.
mtn
SuperDork
8/23/11 7:56 p.m.
I'm not sure that I've seen any other than old friends/relatives on their deathbeds and funeral homes. When I see the gruesome accidents on the highway, I make a point to look away.
Oh, I've seen people rolled out with a sheet over them in the nursing home I used to volunteer at, but I'm not really seeing them.