SVreX wrote: In reply to ronholm: You're making me blush.
How is the work situation looking up for you? I assume it is going well?
SVreX wrote: In reply to ronholm: You're making me blush.
How is the work situation looking up for you? I assume it is going well?
ronholm wrote:SVreX wrote: In reply to ronholm: You're making me blush.
Not really. Still unemployed, and finding the situation locally to be pretty dreary. I'm trying to develop something out of area, and still hopeful for an opportunity I am working on with a fellow GRMer.
Fortunately, my wife and I have been making good decisions for decades about how we handle our money, so we have some savings and a bit of staying power. If we had not, we'd be in a really big mess right now.
Even not working, I'm probably better off than some people on this board.
If you know of anyone who has a need, have hammer, will travel.
Thanks for asking. 
Wow, comparing defaulting on a home loan to cheating on a spouse? Really?
since he pointed out that they actually could continue the way they were ... just doesn't want to, didn't feel he should have too ... I'd say the lack of moral integrity isn't all that different ...
Sky_Render wrote: Wow, comparing defaulting on a home loan to cheating on a spouse? Really?
Yep.
Really..
I don't know if it a comparison as much as it is an analogy, but given the criteria b which it appears value judgments are being made, I promise you I ain't that far off.
His wife won't be happy if decisions continue to be made with this value system, and she will get "meaner" and meaner...
She damn sure isn't going to be happy with the proposed decision is made. Oh sure.. she might go along.. but this kind of stuff will wear her down into something he never thought she might be.
Unless of course this is the only decision in his life made with this same value system.
Sure... Just default on the loan you can afford because you think you can do better for yourself and a bankruptcy can clear you of the debt you owed... This will destroy your marriage.
Racer1ab wrote:nocones wrote:If the OP isn't interested, I would be. Its pretty easy to manage your money when you hardly have any, but SWMBO and I are both trying to get higher paying jobs, and need the advice.JohnRW1621 wrote: Meet a friend. He's a pretty good guy.PM me your address. I will have Amazon drop ship you a copy of his book. It's not like I'm rolling in money however it really appears you and your wife need this. Following these steps did wonders for my wife and I financially.
He did contact me today but I would send you one too. It's not like it is anything hard but the way it is presented helps it really make sense. We reduced our debt from 250k to 0 following his plan with some modifications.
I only ask that you read it and consider giving it a try. If it works for you please someday when your on the otherside of debt do the same and help someone out by passing it on. If its not for you pass it on to someone.
^^Thumbs up for nocones! ^^ 
OUTSTANDING!
250K to zero is pretty serious! and then to think even faster than you can pay off 250K you can save/invest that money for your purposes instead of being owned by it... How long did it take?
We are working on the mortgage.. It is the only debt and it is disappearing at a nice rate.
The toughest thing around here was pride. Both her and I had a lot of trust issues thanks to skeletons we had in our collective closets. The thing which saved us is we both were doing pretty well on our own.. It just took a LONG time to truly come together, but when we did it was magic. I really got pretty lucky as my wife compliments me near perfectly.. This took lots of getting used to as having someone who compliments you perfectly means you also have someone who is strong where you are weak which quite often isn't as easy as it sounds.
I really love seeing other people share Dave R advice... I know where he gets it from, and that old instruction manual really works quite well whenever and wherever it is applied.
nocones wrote:Racer1ab wrote:He did contact me today but I would send you one too. It's not like it is anything hard but the way it is presented helps it really make sense. We reduced our debt from 250k to 0 following his plan with some modifications. I only ask that you read it and consider giving it a try. If it works for you please someday when your on the otherside of debt do the same and help someone out by passing it on. If its not for you pass it on to someone.nocones wrote:If the OP isn't interested, I would be. Its pretty easy to manage your money when you hardly have any, but SWMBO and I are both trying to get higher paying jobs, and need the advice.JohnRW1621 wrote: Meet a friend. He's a pretty good guy.PM me your address. I will have Amazon drop ship you a copy of his book. It's not like I'm rolling in money however it really appears you and your wife need this. Following these steps did wonders for my wife and I financially.
I appreciate it, and you're very generous to offer. I have a change cup I've been meaning to take to Coinstar for an Amazon.com certificate, and found that same book for 10 bucks on the Kindle. I think I'll make an investment out of my spare change. Is this the title you'd recommend the most? It seems like he's written dozens of these financial health books.
I really do appreciate the offer though, I've been a little down on this board lately, and you and a few other folks have reminded me of how awesome it can be when we're not all bitching about the silly season.
PHeller wrote:yamaha wrote: The problem with my generation(I was guilty of this as well), is that we tend to think we have to have those things to prove something.....I have realized that is idiotic at best.I had friendly conversation with a car salesman at my bar try to sell me a car based around the idea that my Escort would ruin my financial future because I could never park it in front of my house or it would so badly hurt the value of my home that I would not make friends with neighbors.
I have a 911 and a Land Rover in addition to a Hank Hill-esque obession with my lawn.
I would totally be a friendly neighbor with you.
Racer1ab wrote: I appreciate it, and you're very generous to offer. I have a change cup I've been meaning to take to Coinstar for an Amazon.com certificate, and found that same book for 10 bucks on the Kindle. I think I'll make an investment out of my spare change.
Yes, this is the starter book.
I caution myself in using the word "starter." Sure, he has written a number of books, as well as radio show, tv show, live appearance. This is not a system where you have to keep buying more. Personally, I bought nothing more than his one book. There are even personal classes available. It just really amounts down to how you learn. Get the book and start there.
For my wife and I, we were not in a deep, dire situation but I credit this book for having taught me how to keep out of trouble. I was lucky to find Dave R years before the housing crash and it was his guidance that kept me from being severely negatively affected. Even though I sold a house for 25% less than I bought it for, I was lucky that I already owned 26% of the house in 7 years.
My personal copy has been lent out many times, most recently last month.
In true Dave fashion, don't forget that nearly every library has multiple copies of the book that you can borrow for free.
ronholm wrote:Sky_Render wrote: Wow, comparing defaulting on a home loan to cheating on a spouse? Really?Yep. Really.. I don't know if it a comparison as much as it is an analogy, but given the criteria b which it appears value judgments are being made, I promise you I ain't that far off. His wife won't be happy if decisions continue to be made with this value system, and she will get "meaner" and meaner... She damn sure isn't going to be happy with the proposed decision is made. Oh sure.. she might go along.. but this kind of stuff will wear her down into something he never thought she might be. Unless of course this is the only decision in his life made with this same value system. Sure... Just default on the loan you can afford because you think you can do better for yourself and a bankruptcy can clear you of the debt you owed... This will destroy your marriage.
What the berk does his marriage have to do with the home loan? At this point, I'm trying to figure out if you're attempting to make a clever-yet-supremely-offensive analogy or you're just pants-on-head insane.
I'd look into a short sale on the current house and move into the uncles house. Save up for 3 years then sell it and buy your 'dream home' for the family. Get in touch with a lawyer who specializes in short sales. Sounds like you have enough debt to get approved, but it's a long, slow, and downright scary at times process. Could last as long as a year. You will owe taxes on the unpaid amount but should be able to negotiate out of the unpaid amount. Going directly to the bank will get you no where.
Datsun1500 wrote: In reply to Sky_Render: He is saying if your value system will let you walk away from a large financial obligation that you can easily pay, walking away from a marriage when it gets tough is not that far of a stretch. I think what bothers most people is he's going to walk away for no reason. He can afford it, just doesn't want to. If someone loses a job and the bank says berkeley off, that's different. He's not haing financial difficulty, he's not behind on payments, he's doing it willingly because he "sees contracts differently"
I understand that it isn't the best or most honorable thing to do, but insinuating that someone would cheat on their wife just because they consider walking away from a loan with a bank is offensive and insulting.
Again, people seem to think that a bank is a person. They're not.
Datsun1500 wrote: In reply to Sky_Render: All we are saying is if you can justify walking away from an obligation and filing bankruptcy because something better came along, you can also justify walking away from your wife for the same reason. Again: what is the reason he is going to default on his mortgage? Loss of job? Disability? Divorce?, nope. Because he does not want to live there anymore.
Yeah, I get that. Walking away from the mortgage in his case is a jerk move. But cheating on his wife? Really? They're completely different.
I missed the part about the house going to the in laws, not him. In that case, that house is in no way his to rent out etc. That is wholly the in law's decision.
But I stand by the 'deed in lieu' being a bad decision financially.
I also see a LOT of the 'I'm gonna screw the big bad company' attitude around here and also out in the real world and honestly it disgusts me. NO ONE is willing to stand on their word.
Call me a stupid old bastard if you want, but where I come from and how I was taught is that a man or woman is no better than their word; another term for that is 'character'. If someone makes a commitment, they follow through. Sometimes there are circumstances which make that not possible, but a person's at least got to give it the old college try. And yes if someone will willingly break a contract merely because it's inconvenient for them, chances are they will do the same with ANY of their obligations.
A good friend of my dad's owned a construction company, he would hire people straight out of prison, give them a chance to get back on their feet. He would hire murderers, etc but would not, under any circumstances, hire a thief or embezzler. Why? He said that theft or embezzlement was a conscious decision and chances were they would do it again, whereas murder could be a 'heat of the moment' thing someone would regret for the rest of their lives.
There's far too many people who spend beyond their means, live like kings/queens on credit, make a metric E36 M3 ton of poor decisions then declare bankruptcy or otherwise welch on their obligations. It seems to be expected anymore, a normal state of affairs. That does not make it right.
Sky_Render wrote:Datsun1500 wrote: In reply to Sky_Render: All we are saying is if you can justify walking away from an obligation and filing bankruptcy because something better came along, you can also justify walking away from your wife for the same reason. Again: what is the reason he is going to default on his mortgage? Loss of job? Disability? Divorce?, nope. Because he does not want to live there anymore.Yeah, I get that. Walking away from the mortgage in his case is a jerk move. But cheating on his wife? Really? They're completely different.
He didn't say anything about cheating on a wife. He said walking away from a wife. Like the marriage contract is just a contact like a mortgage contract.
ronholm wrote: OUTSTANDING! 250K to zero is pretty serious! and then to think even faster than you can pay off 250K you can save/invest that money for your purposes instead of being owned by it... How long did it take? We are working on the mortgage.. It is the only debt and it is disappearing at a nice rate. The toughest thing around here was pride. Both her and I had a lot of trust issues thanks to skeletons we had in our collective closets. The thing which saved us is we both were doing pretty well on our own.. It just took a LONG time to truly come together, but when we did it was magic. I really got pretty lucky as my wife compliments me near perfectly.. This took lots of getting used to as having someone who compliments you perfectly means you also have someone who is strong where you are weak which quite often isn't as easy as it sounds. I really love seeing other people share Dave R advice... I know where he gets it from, and that old instruction manual really works quite well whenever and wherever it is applied.
My wife and I are in great financial shape as well, thanks to the Dave R method. In fact, I was turned onto him by a frequent poster in this thread! As a result, we too are debt free, other than our mortgage. It can be done. It just requires commitment and diligence.
To the OP (if he is still in this thread...some pretty harsh things have been said), it really does sound like you want to have your cake and eat it too. If you're serious about getting serious, start by getting rid of the SUV and the trailer and whatever you tow with it. While that may suck, remember that in a few years, when you are much better off than now, there will be plenty of SUVs, trailers and things to tow for sale by others who can't afford them either. You may think it's a good idea to keep it, but it really isn't.
Through this board, in addition to Dave R., I got turned onto Mr. Money Mustache. While he is VERY hardcore when it comes to living lean, you might pick up some tricks there that could reduce your monthly nut drastically.
One post in particular might be of interest to you: Never too late to ditch your gas guzzler
spitfirebill wrote: He didn't say anything about cheating on a wife. He said walking away from a wife. Like the marriage contract is just a contact like a mortgage contract.
Again, no they're not. The bank is not a person. You are not in a relationship with them.
Sky_Render wrote:Datsun1500 wrote: In reply to Sky_Render: All we are saying is if you can justify walking away from an obligation and filing bankruptcy because something better came along, you can also justify walking away from your wife for the same reason. Again: what is the reason he is going to default on his mortgage? Loss of job? Disability? Divorce?, nope. Because he does not want to live there anymore.Yeah, I get that. Walking away from the mortgage in his case is a jerk move. But cheating on his wife? Really? They're completely different.
The number one issue which destroys marriages.
Money
And right now the only thing I see saving this guy is that he has the good sense to seek advice, everything else seems to be lagging
What happens in his marriage when that big shiny truck which has already taken higher priority than many much more important things in his life decides it is no longer going to be reliable. It is a truck. At any point it could develops one problem after another. How long does he expect this truck to remain everything it is today. 7 years?
Remember. His credit already sucks and hers is about to get shot.
This is a truck he claims to have 'equity' in. It is a tranny problem and a set of tires from eating this imaginary investment he thinks he has.
Oh right. .just give it back to the big evil bank and grab the shiny truck at a buy here pay here lot.
Through this his marriage will suffer.
It isn't that I think he is going to run out and cheat on his wife tomorrow, but that the things he currently values are the things which will cause a very negative impact on his marriage making his wife into someone he doesn't imagine and crushing his spirit.
You could talk all day about how the numbers might make sense to walk away from the house, but think about this. If he were to buckle down and get very serious about investing in his wife by doing whatever is required to pay that loan FOR HER he will build enormous equity in his marriage. I promise walking from that house won't have a positive impact on his marriage. Which investment will show higher returns is not even really debatable, it is damn near proven science.
If she goes along with his plan to tank her credit on purpose, intentionally default on a debt they can afford, she is learning something also.
Seriously man. Have you had these discussions with your wife? Honestly. What did you take away from the conversation?
Curmudgeon wrote: I also see a LOT of the 'I'm gonna screw the big bad company' attitude around here and also out in the real world and honestly it disgusts me. NO ONE is willing to stand on their word. Call me a stupid old bastard if you want, but where I come from and how I was taught is that a man or woman is no better than their word; another term for that is 'character'. If someone makes a commitment, they follow through. Sometimes there are circumstances which make that not possible, but a person's at least got to give it the old college try. And yes if someone will willingly break a contract merely because it's inconvenient for them, chances are they will do the same with ANY of their obligations.
This. This right here.
He is valuing stuff over the good name of his wife
This path will almost certainly cost him both.
Strizzo wrote:Curmudgeon wrote: I also see a LOT of the 'I'm gonna screw the big bad company' attitude around here and also out in the real world and honestly it disgusts me. NO ONE is willing to stand on their word. Call me a stupid old bastard if you want, but where I come from and how I was taught is that a man or woman is no better than their word; another term for that is 'character'. If someone makes a commitment, they follow through. Sometimes there are circumstances which make that not possible, but a person's at least got to give it the old college try. And yes if someone will willingly break a contract merely because it's inconvenient for them, chances are they will do the same with ANY of their obligations.This. This right here.
This is my mentality as well.....I view it as society losing morals.
It could be worse, instead of my car addiction, I could be like my closest neighbors.....antique tractor pulling makes club racing look cheap. 
ronholm wrote: And right now the only thing I see saving this guy is that he has the good sense to seek advice, everything else seems to be lagging
maybe I'm looking at this differently than you ... but I don't see his original post as seeking advice ... the original post and all his answers to the "advice" we've thrown out there seem to indicate to me that what he really wanted was to have his decision validated ... hope I'm wrong and he'll actually read/listen/and act on the advice we've sent his way ... I'm not confident
There is so much going on in this thread, but it really doesn't matter at all.
THE OP, has no house. (it is his wife's) THE OP, has bad credit (the good credit is his wife's) THE OP, does not have a chance to get another house (his wife's family are inheriting a house... not even his wife.. her family.)
no offense to the OP, but this sounds like you are trying to use your wife. it is HER credit you want to destroy, you have already destroyed hers. So of course it is no big deal to you. credit is simply how honorable you are... and wanting to default on the loan, just because you guys bought a house that, by your estimations, isn't worth what you agreed to pay for it, is not honorable.
This is something your wife and her family need to discuss, and then realize that deciding to not pay your bills is a Jerk move, and you will "pay" for it for a long time.
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