LMAO

I have an interview at 7:30 am and could not get a lick of sleep this evening. The job is a job but its really depressing that I am moving backwards to applying to be trained monkey level general labor paid by the day doing repossessed home trash outs and clean ups.

And right now laugh is all I can do to avoid picking up a bottle. The gender bias regarding stay at home parents is ridiculous and extremely stressful in regards to the lack of respect a man is shown for staying at home being a dad.

the whole concept sucks, i dont really see it as gender biased. my wife was a pro-mom for just over a year (we had twins, day care would have been more than she made), with a degree and 10 years work experience in her field, and still took 4 months to land a job at roughly half her previous salary.

i feel your pain man. stay with it, you'll get there. the best advice i can give is NEVER STOP LOOKING FOR A BETTER JOB. even if you get employed tomorrow, KEEP looking. i went from digging ditches for labor ready for $7/hr the week my kids were born, to making over $25/hr doing maintenance for coca-cola.

keep your head up!

-J0N

There is nobility in work. All work. Nobility in doing something well. Perhaps we don't always earn the respect it deserves from others.

Work hard for yourself. Work hard for you family. Be a good father to your kid(s). In time better opportunities will come your way.

No matter what happens you will have been a real man.

Good Luck

^What these guys said^

Something to remember as well. Doing "clean outs" of junk from old houses can yield hidden gems. Learn to recognize what is worth keeping for resale and what is just junk. Might be a healthy side income stream to the job.

And the fun just keeps rolling, when I got home from the interview I had an email from gmp performance about a warehouse clerk position they have open. But it's 28 miles away and they're only advertising $10+ an hour for that distance I would need at least $13 but don't know if they could or would swing that

GMP is a good company from my dealings. Just saying....

doesn't hurt to ask. Given your proven work history before being a pro-dad, you are more valuable than the average warehouse monkey for sure. Maybe they'll understand that, and if not you didn't want to work there anyway.

best of luck!

Take the closest job regardless of money. I consider the commute as part of work. Lets use $20/hr as an example. If I was driving 40 miles and it took me roughly 35 minutes, that's an hour a day I'm working for free. Roughly $5 in gas. That's $25 dollars. Lets say I normally work an 8/hr day. 8x20 is $160. $160-$25 (cost of commute in time/fuel) is $135, divide that by 8 (cost spread out over the day of work) and you get 16.8/hr.

If I could walk or ride to work within 10 minutes, I'd take roughly $17/hr for the same job. I'd have more time (an extra 5 hours a week), less stress, save money on going home for lunch, and I'd be more willing to work overtime, as well as I'd probably arrive earlier in the day or at least get more sleep.

If you're talking about an 8/hr job within walking distance (or where you're paid as soon as you get in the car), versus a 12/hr job that takes 45 minutes to get to and cost you $5-6, you're spending far too much time/money getting to that 12/hr job.

Of course, if they $8/hr job is a dead end job where you will never make more than $10/hr and you've got no-other employment options within walking distance, than yea, driving a bit for better opportunities is worth it, but in my case I live right across the street from three very large, very good employers, yet I drive 40 minutes a day to work...it sucks. If I owned this home, I would be either working at one of the three employers (even part-time?) or I'd tell the wife to quit her job and we'd live closer to mine.

ryanty22 wrote: And the fun just keeps rolling, when I got home from the interview I had an email from gmp performance about a warehouse clerk position they have open. But it's 28 miles away and they're only advertising $10+ an hour for that distance I would need at least $13 but don't know if they could or would swing that

I'm not sure I follow this logic. 28 miles isn't close, but it's not a million miles away. I'm not sure how far away the other job is, but let’s call it 10 miles so the GMP job is an extra 18 miles each way. That's 180 miles per week. I don't know what you drive, but let's say it gets really crappy mileage, 20mpg. So that's an extra 9 gallons of gas per week at $3.50 a gal = $31.5. If you're saying you need $13/hr rather than $10/hr that's a total (based on a 40 hour week) of an extra $120 per week. Assume a crappy tax situation of 30% that's still an extra $84 per week to fund a potential of $31.50 in gas so to me I don't see it.

Working backwards to fund the extra $31.50 per week in gas you would need a max of $45 per week pre tax, based on a 40 hour week that's an extra $1.13 or a total of $11.13 per hour. Could they swing that?

I don't mean to sound like a dick, I really feel for your situation, it's just the statement didn't add up. I'm really sorry that neither gender seems to be appreciated for being a stay at home parent in the country and that benefits don't cover it. I wish you all the best.

Can you start something yourself from home? My wife quit corporate life nearly 25 years ago to become a dog walker. I know people who run their own picture framing business from home. People who shop and cook meals for other families etc. etc. One thing in common with all these apparent part time businesses is that although they don't work 40 hours a week, they earn more than someone making $10/hr working 40 hours. Can you wrench on peoples cars? Travel to peoples houses to wash and ‘detail’ their cars once a week. I knew someone 20 plus years ago who did that. Saved Joe blow from going to the car wash and did a much better job. $20 for an hours wash, dry, vacuum and wipe down out the back of your own car.

Good luck.

Ryan, you've got mail.

ryanty22 wrote: And right now laugh is all I can do to avoid picking up a bottle. The gender bias regarding stay at home parents is ridiculous and extremely stressful in regards to the lack of respect a man is shown for staying at home being a dad.

My folks switched jobs when I was in my early teens, after my dad's corporate job fell victim to the oil crisis and subsequent recession (remember that, kids?) and my mom was able to get better pay as an R.N. If it's any comfort, know that your kids ARE learning to respect a man for being able to set aside society's expectations for his family's benefit. My dad was a rock star, even if most people weren't able to immediately see that.

Margie

I lived outside of Detroit when the economy took a dump in 2008 and I lost my job. In 2009, I finally found a job making 50% of my 2008 salary as an assistant manager of an auto parts store. Our new store had 10 employees, only one who was a current employee, the rest were new to the company. Six of the remaining nine were making less than half of our prior wages (the other three were recent HS grads).

One of my co-workers, who made about $75k prior to this job (and now made less than $10/hr, part time) was proud of his ability to feed his family for cheap by shopping at Aldi and cutting all other spending. About a year later, I moved to Indy, and he was shuffled into a better paying and full-time position. He's not back to making $75k, but he discovered money isn't all it's cracked up to be.

My advice: take whatever job you can find. Soon, something will come up. Good luck.

I just turned fifty and I’ve made well into six figures for many years doing the corporate thing. I have nothing to prove to myself and I couldn’t give a rat’s left nut what anyone else thinks (Hey, Miata really is the answer).

My wife is six years younger than I so a role swap in the coming years is a possibility. I’m a hardcore efficiency / quality guy and I’d leap at the opportunity to accept the Mr. Mom role and treat it like a formal military operation.

Phase-One: Order a forty foot dumpster and fill it with the casualties of a truly ruthless 5S audit….get this E36 M3 out of here.

Phase-Two: Establish metrics, perform ANOVA, & implement variance reduction counter measures…surprises are not tolerated.

Phase-Three: Deploy visual signals, control loops, and Kanban systems…exactly what, when, and where you need it.

Phase-Four: Instill a culture of Continuous Improvement…my work is done here.

I didn’t intend to go on a rant…my apologies for the thread jack…I obviously have significant issues.

RX Reven' wrote: I obviously have significant issues.

Yep!

Kramer wrote: One of my co-workers, who made about $75k prior to this job (and now made less than $10/hr, part time) was proud of his ability to feed his family for cheap by shopping at Aldi and cutting all other spending. About a year later, I moved to Indy, and he was shuffled into a better paying and full-time position. He's not back to making $75k, but he discovered money isn't all it's cracked up to be.

This, during the same timespan I went from clearning 45k post taxes to making $8/hr part time....I'm still nowhere close to what I made before, but I'm happier with my job, coworkers, and the company has plenty of room for advancement(everyone else here is at least twice my age) Money isn't all its cracked up to be indeed. I kindof prefer having to work a little harder to get something anyways.

Dont under-value your time spent at home. It involves alot more dedication and time-management that alot of folks can imagine or even carry out. Dont let the dollar offerings stress u too much. I would look for either 1) a job that could lead into something else, or 2) something that pays( not something that costs more to get there every day ) and still look for other employment. Its alot easier to find a job when you have one. You just need one employer to re-establish your "value" as am employee. Alot of people arent going to understand what goes into being a stay at home dad.. And thats ok. Find a job that you dont just absolutely hate( and realize that if you do, this is just a tempory period in your life ), impress the crap out of everyone at your job and then leave work everyday knowing that you get to see them kids that you've invested so much into. They're whats important. Having a job that you can leave at work is worth more than money at times. For me it is, anyway.

Just gonna throw this out there. I have a LOT of experience swapping industries and careers due to some fun sector crashes throughout the years.
Take a very serious look at nursing, especially if you are a man.
Most local community colleges have an associates in nursing program. You suck it up for however long their program is, wear the pretty white uniform for a short while and then you are basically recession proof.
Important notes: You take a national level test for your license, the same exact test that the folks who got a Bachelors in nursing take.
From that point on, you are a Registered nurse. You can turn the 2 year degree into a 4 year degree into a masters or even PHD ALL ONLINE. You can then work everywhere from the Floor (commonly called wiping butts) to surgery to psych to primary care as a Doctorate Nurse Practictioner (not avail online).
If the stars align, you can even become a Nurse Anesthetist and make some very good $$$$ (not avail online and some tough professional experience pre-reqs)
I of course discovered all this after committing to my current doctorate and career; but after a year of researching with my brother he chose this path.
Best of luck! Feel free to PM if I can help in any way.
PS Statistically speaking your hiring manager will be female and your time spent caring for your kids will often be viewed as a huge plus (based on sample conversations among nurses)
PPS 3 12 hour shift per week is often considered full time so its a very grm friendly profession.

Adrian_Thompson wrote: I'm not sure I follow this logic. 28 miles isn't close, but it's not a million miles away. I'm not sure how far away the other job is, but let’s call it 10 miles so the GMP job is an extra 18 miles each way. That's 180 miles per week. I don't know what you drive, but let's say it gets really crappy mileage, 20mpg. So that's an extra 9 gallons of gas per week at $3.50 a gal = $31.5. If you're saying you need $13/hr rather than $10/hr that's a total (based on a 40 hour week) of an extra $120 per week. Assume a crappy tax situation of 30% that's still an extra $84 per week to fund a potential of $31.50 in gas so to me I don't see it. Working backwards to fund the extra $31.50 per week in gas you would need a max of $45 per week pre tax, based on a 40 hour week that's an extra $1.13 or a total of $11.13 per hour. Could they swing that?

Well, you're losing money if you only cover additional gas. A realistic cost is $0.40/mile, which would be $72/wk extra after tax, so $102 extra after tax, so an extra $255/hr - call it $3. And that's at 18 miles extra. For many people 28 miles is like 25 miles extra. If other jobs are in walking/biking distance... the cost difference is magnified even more. Commuting blows... I would definitely want quite an increase in pay to make up for it.

That said, if I didn't have a job already...

OMG, live for yourself, not for other's expectations! One of the happiest couples I know is an old friend who married an electrician. She's chemical engineer making big bucks. They decided it made more sense for him to stay home with their daughter (plus he was really good at it).

Some of our mutual friends made snide comments- but that just said a lot more about them...

Do what makes you happy. Life is so short.

ProDarwin wrote: Well, you're losing money if you only cover additional gas. A realistic cost is $0.40/mile, which would be $72/wk extra after tax, so $102 extra after tax, so an extra $255/hr - call it $3. And that's at 18 miles extra. For many people 28 miles is like 25 miles extra. If other jobs are in walking/biking distance... the cost difference is magnified even more. Commuting blows... I would definitely want quite an increase in pay to make up for it. That said, if I didn't have a job already...

All fair points.