Minor rant thread. Post your rants o' the day here!

GIRTHQUAKE said:

Antihero said:

It's looking more and more like he will need assisted care, which he definitely can't afford and I'm not sure how well I can help him there. berkeley.

E36 M3, I'm sorry bro. Are you aware of something called "The Medicaid Spend-down"?

I know this is likely just, one more concern to add to the mountain, but there's resources out there and that's the role of a social worker to find what's best for you. Are you speaking to one?

My wife works in that field.  If he's got a surviving spouse that will stay at home, Medicaid is structured such that the house and (some) other assets can remain untouched in order to keep the spouse out of a facility, so there's that.  Depending on what kinds of assets he has, it can be very beneficial to spend the 8k-15k on a good elder law attorney to handle things.  They can legally make all sorts of money disappear from the balance sheet while minimizing the number of months of penalty period.  Basically, you spend the money with the attorney to avoid spending even more before becoming eligible.  If he doesn't have significant assets, then the facility should have someone on staff who is able to assist with the Medicaid application process.  I don't know how every state does it, but for many of them, Medicaid beds are sort of like liquor licenses:  Each region (could be a county, a city, a section of a county or city, a collection of counties, whatever) has a certain number of Medicaid beds allocated and when they're full, you're on a waiting list.  When a facility is built they're given a portion of the regional allocation and if they want more they basically have to sue to state to have the regional allocation re-calculated.  It's a pain.  But the point is that you want to find a facility that has open Medicaid beds.

Most importantly, though, is to not move any assets or money around until after you've got a plan with either the elder law attorney or someone competent at the facility.  I've heard so many stories about people selling their house to their kids for a dollar or giving away a bunch of stuff or cash as gifts and then getting completely boned.  One lady my wife was trying to work with at one point sold her house to her daughter for nearly nothing and when it was tagged as an unauthorized transfer, the daughter wouldn't give it back.  Wound up being resource ineligible while also having no assets anymore.  One thing to remember as well is that as far as Medicaid is concerned, once the insured passes away, they get first bite at the estate.  Apparently, that includes life insurance payouts if the insured owns the policy.  There's something about making sure that funeral expenses are covered by having the funeral home own the policy, but I don't know the ins-and-outs of that.

If you wind up with any questions as you go through the process, feel free to PM me and I can pass it along to my wife.  Her expertise is with how the Commonwealth administers the program, but most of the rules are federal.

Spent 19 clock hours replacing a cylinder head gasket in a 2021 Cadillac CT4 with the new LSY 2.0T. It paid 8.7 hours warranty time. Better just throw this week right in the trashcan.

I make a plan to clean and organize My half of the closet. I ask SWMBO for some boxes. Nothing more. She comes up, and asks what all this stuff is all over the floor. It's the contents of my side of the closet. That I'm cleaning and organizing. You should do this. You should put this on that. You shoul, why dont, you can-no. no.  I have a pkan.

Proceeds to become upset that I don't take any of her suggestions.  You cant give suggestions, and then get mad that someone doesn't take them. That makes you and shiny happy person. You either get the satisfaction of controlling a situation that was never yours or you get the drama because I didn't thank you for your unsolicited suggestions.

Is this that women mindberkeley bullE36 M3 old men and comedians talk about? Cause this feels like mindberkeley bullE36 M3.

Getting ready to go have a meeting about the parish Fish Fry.  I hate attending meetings with people for whom meetings are a hobby and not a profession.  You think professional meeting goers have a hard time staying on topic and rolling an agenda?!?  This will be agony.

In reply to wae :

I was a deacon at a Baptist church #1 and I'd be coming home at 10:30pm from our 6:30pm monthly meeting.  Some guys dragged it on and on and on.  

I left #1 and was a deacon at Baptist church #2 and the elder Pastor knew how to run meetings (30-35 minutes max).  He taught me a lot about business.  

LinkedIn sent me a notification today that I almost ignored, like all the rest, that I might be a match for a new listing. Last year I set up some keyword job alerts and they're still prompting notifications on my phone. As luck would have it I looked at the position and thought it looked eerily familiar. We're a small, niche company so it's pretty easy to tell when a listing is ours even though we hire thru 3rd parties, for some reason. It's even easier to tell when we're hiring for my role. More than likely this is a listing to find a handler for me while they continue to fill out a team that fits their ladder climber culture, rather than outright replacing me. Except they listed both a V&V role and a Lead V&V role. Hmmm... 

The other nugget to take from it is the pay range that indicates that I will not be negotiating for higher pay this year despite being underpaid. I'm actually on par with a coworker from my last role with the company (he has +2yrs) before my diagonal move. I'm doing alright for where I am but we're in a high CoL area and I lucked out on the mortgage and rate so I can't afford to move. Available job listings are 33-50% pay cuts with additional quality of life hits. 

What really chafes me is that they intentionally obscured this all from me. They didn't communicate their displeasure except when they wrote me up for not working enough weekend OT. They continued to pile work on me. They didn't ask my thoughts on any of this. My boss committed to having several thousand hours of testing done and filed by fall on a product that is currently being reviewed by a new hire M.E. Testing to be done on equipment we don't currently have. I know I'm a bit, let's say, brash but I can't help but feel disrespected. I'm not the manager but in a building of ~50 people how am I supposed to not be offended? Or am I just not being a good little corporate ladder climber, paying my dues to maybe "get mine" in another 25-30 years? I'm not expecting much, I don't think, but if I hadn't lucked out with this house (3 working adults paying bills) I wouldn't qualify for an apartment in this town. 

I've talked myself in circles, vented a bit, browsed Indeed and LinkedIn (both trash) for jobs, and I'm just entirely dejected. I'm talking to (interim) HR in the morning before I corner my so and so of a boss, seeking clarification from both on the security of my employment since I can't count on them to have the integrity or respect to communicate on their own. 

tl;dr I found my job listed with a staffing firm and I'm thinking mean things about the corpo weasel to which I report. 

In reply to Error404 :

You should apply for it. berkeley with them a bit.

GIRTHQUAKE said:

Antihero said:

It's looking more and more like he will need assisted care, which he definitely can't afford and I'm not sure how well I can help him there. berkeley.

E36 M3, I'm sorry bro. Are you aware of something called "The Medicaid Spend-down"?

I know this is likely just, one more concern to add to the mountain, but there's resources out there and that's the role of a social worker to find what's best for you. Are you speaking to one?

I'm basically starting off with no info at all, this kinda came on very fast. He has very limited assets besides the family property, which is actually homesteaded and has some stuff because of that.

I know basically nothing

In reply to wae :

Thank you very much for the offer, Ill probably take you up on it once I have questions that would actually make some sense.

Some info though: my mom passed away 6 years ago, he has little assets besides the homesteaded family property. He's also a veteran if that helps whatever avenue he should try

Appleseed said:

In reply to Error404 :

You should apply for it. berkeley with them a bit.

I did but got an automated response to do an email interview or something and decided that I wasn't that invested. Not when I can go in tomorrow and ask face to face if I need to reapply for my job annually. A couple other uncouth things come to mind but I'm in a professional so I'll just let them know that I know directly. The way I figure is that I can make things worse but their lack of communication and willingness to go behind my back means that I can't make it better. So I won't. What're they gonna do, start hiring for my role? They've made up their minds so I'm going to make them uncomfortable.

In reply to Antihero :

Apparently there are VA nursing homes which would be a good option.  The waiting lists are epically long, though, so get on that ASAP.

Another recommendation from the wife was that in most facilities, current residents get bumped to the front of the list when a Medicaid bed opens up.  So if you were to sell the house and go private-pay, he'd be first in line once his resources were low enough.  Alternately, selling the house and moving in to a senior living apartment is a good option for many before they need the full nursing home experience.  She actually said that a good option is to sell the house, move in to an apartment, save every single scrap of paper and bank statement after the sale, and consult an elder law attorney. 

Oh, also, in relation to him being a veteran, she asked the question of "is he fully vested?".  I don't know what that means or what bearing that would have, but apparently that's a thing.

In reply to Antihero :

I went through this with my mom and dad. Mom has been in assisted living since 2019, and Dad is still living at home. You need an elder care attorney and someone to advise you on the local assisted living options.

I was referred to Care Patrol (no affiliation) by a case manager at the hospital. https://www.carepatrol.com 

They helped "shop" for the nursing home. They were super helpful and have all of the cost information for the facilities in the area. More importantly, they know the reputations of the facilities. I don't know if something similar is available in your area but if you can contact a case manager at the local hospital, they might be able to  provide some resources. 

In reply to wae :

The VA has a method to determine a percentage "service connected" injury or disability. Think exposure to chemicals, asbestos, hearing loss, PTSD, physical injury, etc... It's the government so it requires medical evaluation by a VA doctor and lots of forms in triplicate. It is worth the effort to pursue, but it isn't easy. My dad's service provided him some benefits but not enough to help with my mom's situation. 

Your trendy and expensive 7-day juice cleanse is NOT making you "shed pounds and inches" except out of your wallet.

At best it's making you take a dump.

For the love of Bob, just eat some damn fiber and stop being an idiot.

[edit] I realize it is common practice to address significant others without identification, but this is definitely not about DW or the DDs.

I had heartburn for over a week. I've been exhausted the entire time too. Yesterday I existed souly on chicken soup and gingerale. My stomach seems to have mellowed out but I was still exhausted. I clocked out at 3PM and "watched a movie" while my eyelids rested. I went ot bed at 10:30 put the dog  out at 5am and then slept until 8:45am. I'm still tired and now I have a headache. berkeley!

In reply to CAinCA :

I remember your earlier post about the heartburn.

Any chance you can get checked out?  This sounds a bit bigger than bad digestion.

CAinCA said:

I had heartburn for over a week. I've been exhausted the entire time too. Yesterday I existed souly on chicken soup and gingerale. My stomach seems to have mellowed out but I was still exhausted. I clocked out at 3PM and "watched a movie" while my eyelids rested. I went ot bed at 10:30 put the dog  out at 5am and then slept until 8:45am. I'm still tired and now I have a headache. berkeley!

I'm dealing with stomach cancer right now.  It's located at the stomach and esophagus junction.  My doctor said the probable cause is years of untreated acid reflux.  After years of damage, the cells just said FU.

My PSA: get yourself checked out!

In reply to mapper :

Best of luck and medical science to you, man.  That's not fun and I really hope you can get it taken care of.

mapper said:

CAinCA said:

I had heartburn for over a week. I've been exhausted the entire time too. Yesterday I existed souly on chicken soup and gingerale. My stomach seems to have mellowed out but I was still exhausted. I clocked out at 3PM and "watched a movie" while my eyelids rested. I went ot bed at 10:30 put the dog  out at 5am and then slept until 8:45am. I'm still tired and now I have a headache. berkeley!

I'm dealing with stomach cancer right now.  It's located at the stomach and esophagus junction.  My doctor said the probable cause is years of untreated acid reflux.  After years of damage, the cells just said FU.

My PSA: get yourself checked out!

Uggg! I'm so sorry mapper. That's terrible.

I've had persistent heartburn since my early 20's. In my late 30's I started having trouble swallowing once in a while. I had a few instances where I tried to swallow a bite of food and it would get stuck in my esophagus for a few minutes before it finally passed. About ten years ago I wound up in the ER on our anniversary. I had an endoscopy done and found out that I had developed a Schatzki's ring. I've been on prescription strength acid blockers since.

Occasionally I get a flare up of acid reflux but this week has been different. My stomach started feeling off last Friday. On Saturday we went to a birthday party and I had about 5 beers over a 5 hour period. I barely had a buzz. The next morning I woke up with a bad headache and my stomach was terrible (Note to self: Stay away from red ales). Since then it's been a little better but still not 100%. 

TBH I don't deal with stress very well. I keep asking myself if this is stress or something else. I don't think stress is the major cause. I just got off vacation and things are going fairly smooth.

Duke said:

In reply to CAinCA :

I remember your earlier post about the heartburn.

Any chance you can get checked out?  This sounds a bit bigger than bad digestion.

 

If this hasn't cleared up by Monday I'll make a doctor's appointment. Thanks.

berkeley cancer. 
Sitting in the ER with an employee right now. He injured his back at work, and today was to be his lower back injection. Shortly after his injury, he was diagnosed with throat cancer. Nurse at the clinic took one look at his vitals and sent him to the ER (same hospital, different building). He's been working for us for 20+ years... his brother is 2 hours away, and I'm all he's got right now. It's not looking good, and I'm really gonna hate to see him go.

In reply to Duke :

I had a friend say to me today "Have all these cleanse people not heard of a Taco Bell burrito? Cheaper and faster!"

Duke said:

In reply to mapper :

Best of luck and medical science to you, man.  That's not fun and I really hope you can get it taken care of.

 

Thanks. 

Five rounds of "I think this might be worse than the cancer" chemo has beat me down but surgery at the end of this month will hopefully  finish off the little bastard.

This is a little heavy for the minor rant thread but if it encourages others to get checked out then all is good.  FYI, an endoscopy is a much more pleasant experience than a colonoscopy.

In reply to Recon1342 :

That's horrible. But at least you're with him. Nobody deserves to go through that alone.

Meh.  Woke up with the cold that all the kids have been getting through.  Ordinarily not a big deal, but I have stuff I need to do today.  I don't have time for this crap.