Minor rant thread. Post your rants o' the day here!

Warning:  Literal "Get off my lawn" content incoming...

Every year on the Saturday before labor day, the people in my subdivision decide to have a "community yard sale".  For some reason, people who shop at yard sales have this idea that signs that say "No Parking" are meant for people that aren't shopping at yard sales.  And stopping in the middle of the street to look at the junk that's been arrayed on folding tables in a driveway is a perfectly acceptable thing to do.  They also have an amplified version of the self-important belief that if there's a car parked on their side of the road, oncoming traffic needs to stop and give way to them so they can go around the parked car.  And even though my house isn't participating in said sale, it's totally fine to just saunter across my yard and driveway to get to my neighbor's house.  Not that I give two E36 M3s about my yard being walked on, but it's just rude to tramp across someone's space uninvited.  The best part was when I was moving cars around in my driveway.  I needed to pull the Neon into the garage to put the street tires on and it has a tendency to stall out when it's cold.  Plus two of the rally tires were flat.  I was slowly and carefully - because there are all these berkeleying people wandering all over the place - pulling the car out of the driveway, turning it around in the street, and driving it back up the driveway to nose it into the garage.  Some jackwad who had come down our dead-end street for some reason and turned around, starts honking at me as I'm trying to get the car turned around without stalling it and without pulling the flat tire off its bead.  And to be clear, it wasn't exactly taking an epic amount of time or anything and the car never really stopped moving through this process.  That is, of course, until Cheapass McGee started honking at me.  Don't you know it, but I guess the car stalled right then and it took me a second to get it to restart.  And I didn't want to just put it right into gear and go, so I needed to rev the engine a bit to make sure it was running.

It is amazing how many cars stall at the sound of a horn

In reply to wae :

Seed your lawn with caltrops. And the approaches to your driveway. And maybe the whole road as well. Sit on the front step and watch the chaos ensue. 

In the ER.

I was sitting there, sanding a wheel for paint, and I suddenly feel like I got kicked in the junk. Did I just sit on my own nuts? It's not going away, so I give up, and go inside to take a shower.

The shower relaxes me a bit. I'm lazy, so of course I pee in the shower. Out of the corner of my eye...man that was dark pee. Hmm. Pee again. Oh berkeley. That's blood.

So I'm now cooking in the ER, still with excruciating groin pain radiating up my front right and back right. Right where my kidney is.

This ought to be (not) fun.

In reply to Appleseed :

Sounds like a kidney stone. Best of circumstances and medical chemistry to you.  It sucks, but with the right painkillers, it'll pass.

On a different topic:

Apparently the month ended and a decision was made. It was nice while it lasted, wasn't it?

In reply to Duke :

Man, that's cryptic as hell. Racking my brain as to what it is. Don't tell me, the mental exercise is distracting me from my white hot junk.

And thanks for the info on it possibly being a kidney stone. Its terrifying because that's the only thing I ever saw drop my tougher than leather old man to his knees.

But its survivable.

In reply to Appleseed :

I give up. You win.

Best of luck and keep us posted. 

Duke said:

On a different topic:

Apparently the month ended and a decision was made. It was nice while it lasted, wasn't it?

I see some incoming thread locks

In reply to Appleseed :

You'll get it.

When I passed my kidney stone, it felt like someone was shoving a piece of rusty piano wire from a point directly above my  junk to a point right above my left side love handle.

And yeah, it went from first twinge to fetal position on the floor in about 10 minutes.

Once they confirmed and hooked me up with the good stuff, I was in twilight land until suddenly POP and I instantly had to pee worse than I ever had in my life.  I could literally feel my bladder inflate.

Good luck, man, you could use a little.

In reply to NickD :

Same and same.

I am obviously not allowed to own a nice car.

I have the disco, which, believe it or not, is my Daily driver. I also have my very low miliage Abarth. Built in 2012, it has just over 20,000 miles on it. I really only drive it enough to keep it in good shape and when I need to go "for a ride"

The Abarth also sports two dents now.  I am very careful where I park it, always far away from other vehicles, I have a nice dent/gouge in the passenger door where somebody allowed their SUV's door to slam into it at high speed. Today I found a small dent/scrape in the Driver's side rear fender. This newest mark makes no sense as it is up towards the side window and "in" from the edge of the car. It looks like the handle from a shopping cart or the handlebars from a bicycle made contact with the car.

It just figures, the Disco has no dents at all at 125,000 miles and being ten years older, but the low miliage "new" car is getting beaten up by careless people around me.

In reply to Appleseed :

That was the worst pain of my life. Like Duke said, fetal, on the ground, seeing stars pain. Two days and wife forced me to the ER where they determined it was impassable. 
 

Short version: you'll recover. And you'll remember it forever. 

I must eat pain like candy. It hurt(s) but I was walking fine, showering fine. Just a bunch of grunting when it got bad.

I guess when E36 M3 hurts, all day, every day, you get used to it. Which is actually bad, because if it wasn't for peeing blood, I'd probably on the floor still trying to hack it.

In reply to Appleseed :

It happens. When I get kidney stones, it's like I got punched in the kidney. Hurts like a bitch, but I can function. I've passed several 4mm stones that way. 

In reply to Duke :

I finally got it. Figured it would be an EV thread or the Russian Invasion, but, whatever. Homeboy is going to smear himself in E36 M3 and make us watch any way he can.

Its official. 3mm kidney stone. Glad it's not ass cancer.

Appleseed said:

Its official. 3mm kidney stone. Glad it's not ass cancer.

Very good. Not fun, but very good.

Update us when you pee the motherberker out.

The good news is that I figured out where to find at least 4-6 meat props to be in the room with me as I deliver my "speech" for this into to communications class:  I'm going to hijack the bingo crowd tonight!  That'll get me about a hundred people who have nothing better to do than sit in a chair. 

The bad news is that we're using different terms.  When I think of a "speech", I think of talking in front of an audience at a conference or something, where you've got 30 minutes plus a 15 minute Q&A.  No problem.  What she actually wants us to do is what I would call an "elevator pitch".  4-6 minutes.  I've got this great speech outlined, but unless I bang out an 8-ball before I start, there's no way I can get through a fraction of this material in that kind of time.  I've got about 8 hours to trim this mother down.

In reply to wae :

8-balls still a thing?

In reply to Datsun310Guy :

To be fair, everything I know about drugs I learned from listening to Denis Leary standup.

In reply to wae :

I never bought an 8-ball but I too joke about hookers and blow once in a while.

In reply to wae :

I did speech and debate competition in college, and my favorite event was one where you got handed a topic, got 2 minutes to think about it and then had to give a 6 minute speech.  Getting good at that served me very well in public speaking throughout my career.

In reply to Rodan :

I would love an assignment like that!

Duke said:

Appleseed said:

Its official. 3mm kidney stone. Glad it's not ass cancer.

Very good. Not fun, but very good.

Update us when you pee the motherberker out.

 

And tell us if it clinks when it lands in the toilet