mulling over 2 of the most difficult decisions to make.

(for those curious, check out Page 3 of Adrian Thompson's thread about leaving the forum)

My grandfather went straight to the hospital after collapsing in front of their home. The abnormal moles he had ignored had turned into full-blown skin cancer and had spread to his internals. He collapsed because he couldn't breath. He passed away in the hospital not long afterward. Having a history of skin, prostate and other cancers in the family along with heart disease and high cholesterol pretty much means I'll likely die from something other than just old age. Genetics can be such a bitch sometimes.

My wife's grandfather died at home after battling dimentia and her Grandmother died in the same home some 10 or years later, likely of a heart attack.

As to your question, it really depends on what you and your wife can handle. I think many of us would prefer to stay home, with our familiar surroundings and especially friends and family, but reality may not allow that. Talk it over with the wife and your doctors and even the insurance company as they may have options to provide care that you may or may not be aware of.

Whichever way you choose, be sure to let us know how you're doing from time to time and if there's anything we can do from here to help you and your wife.

If you would rather be at home, then move towards that option. It is quite noble to think of others in this situation. If it's what you prefer, then discuss it with the love ones. I find it hard to believe they wouldn't be supportive of the choice. It will be hard on them regardless of choice. I have lost two family members who chose in home hospice. One of which I was very active in their care at the end. It is quite hard to see someone at that time in their life as well as the close family and friends around them. However, I think I would have regretting not being around. Not everyone deals with it the same. I hope what ever decision you make, brings you peace. If you want to vent about any of it here, so that you can spare your loved ones, it's the very least we can do. I can tell you from my experience, that hospice folks I've dealt with from 2 separate organizations, have all been amazing at what undoubtedly is a difficult situation.

I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. I can say unequivocally, having watched my grandmother in a hospice and my dad at home, that at home is much better. In home care will take the load off your loved ones which is every bit as important as how it will affect you.

Thanks for all the kind words, I have an appointment tomorrow, along with another round of test of course, and it's going to be discussed in addition to treatment from here. Hospice isn't 100% immenent at this point, but the odds aren't in my favor. I try not to think about that, but do have to plan for the worse and hope for the best. I also realize that if I manage to pull through that I have to champion research on pancreatic cancer. Most of those diagnosed don't have the time that I've already had since my diagnosis.

Along with my wife, pray for my mom. She cares for my father, a warrior and hero for hows he has battled ALS for nearly 6 years. Now she gets hit with this. She deserves a trip and escape but is scared to leave either of us.

Sorry to hear this. Best of luck and medical science to you in your fight. If I were in your shoes I would try to stay at home as long as possible without over-burdening my spouse and family, then transfer to a hospice.

As a side note, most of my personal emails wind up in a spam folder. Just sayin'.

And, hang in there. There are plenty of medications to make you comfortable as you get further on. Don't hesitate to ask for them. And try to eat.

In reply to Dr. Hess:

I have enough pills to make it look like I knocked off a CVS in the riots just down the road in april. The weight loss is a scary thing, I had a lot of extra to start with at least. Appetite is pretty healthy though

If you need absolutely anything feel free to shoot me a pm, I am just on the other side of town. Seeing my father go through it 2 years ago I would suggest hospice but definitely make sure it is a reputable company, ours was quite unresponsive and rude.

Good luck and know you got this!

In reply to Datsun1500:

I was young and dumb enough in my twenties to cross most things off the list without even knowing it, which I'm glad for. Fun fact, if you base jump off the bay bridge they charge you with trespassing, better fun fact, if you jump from the queen Annes county side and they charge you in Anne arundel county, you get off of the charges. I really need to record and share all my dumb antics.

I have talked to one member on here and one thing I want is my project car, the BG 323 to stay in the GRM community and to be campaigned. To see rally-x duty and the challenge. I just want to know it'll happen when I'm gone.

I too am sorry to hear what you are going through. I cannot even begin to understand the pain or the anxiety that this must be causing in your world. I truly hope that your treatment can see you through this and that the pain can be managed. One of my sisters was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer 5 years ago. They re-sectioned her colon and removed as much of her tumor laden liver as possible before her chemo treatment. After 5 years she is cancer free but knows that this could change with every new set of test results. I wish you strength and peace and I think you should bring your 323 to the Challenge this year.

If we need to pull a community build thrash on a 323 together, I am just down in Gaithersburg...

I am sure a good number of us could pull together if you wished.

I am just outside of Gettysburg with a fully equipped shop which could be used for a community build/thrash.

Apexcarver wrote: If we need to pull a community build thrash on a 323 together, I am just down in Gaithersburg... I am sure a good number of us could pull together if you wished.

this is a good idea, and i vote you bring it to the challenge and make gimp come with you.

Good luck.

Had as close to an excellent appointment as could be had this afternoon. Which means some more aggressive treatment, but the very pleasant surprise, that moved me to tears, is that they want to start physical therapy and want me able to drive again (on the road, not track of course) in 6-8 weeks. It'll be a slow burn getting back as my abdominal wall, right chest and shoulder all have significant amounts of structural recovery, range of motion (shoulder) and strength issues to overcome.

But it means they expect me to see the holidays. I made sure to ask that this wasn't put in all this effort for "one last drive" sort of thing and they assured me that it wasn't. Things aren't looking perfect, but they are moving in the right direction. Which is a major swing from the past 7 weeks and from what we were honestly expecting. I've lost 17 lbs in the past 21 days, so this news was not what I had thought. I also had the pleasure of meeting our governor (again) who upon briefly discussing how each of our treatments were going asked me what I planned on doing with my life. Regardless of political affliction or agenda that's a strong thought process and method to motivate someone to action. My diagnosis comes with a less then 6% survival rate at the 5 year mark, with less then 1 in 4 making it one year, and I'm fortunate enough to be looking forward to learning how to drive again (which is likely in part due to suspending all narcotic pain treatment in addition to an improve and change in prognosis)

Dave, I'm very happy to read this.

That is good news.

I am very happy to read this as well. I hope things continue to go well for you.

Great news! Be the 6-percent

Very happy to hear this. Look forward to hearing about the first drive....that will be a great milestone.

Very happy to hear this news!

Awesome!

Good news indeed!

In a previous thread a couple of years ago, I shared my experience with a blocked liver duct. Statistics showed survival rates similar to pancreatic cancer. After 3 months of living with a drain in my side and dealing with wearing a bag, I was declared cancer free. No recorded cases of this happening. Statistics only apply to large groups, not individuals. Keep up the positive attitude, it makes a difference. Wishing you good luck!

Don49 wrote: Statistics only apply to large groups, not individuals. Keep up the positive attitude, it makes a difference.

^That's a strong message there.

I am rooting hard for you.