Also I'll be a stay at home dad for the first couple of years, as my better brings home the bacon, and money...
Andrew
Also I'll be a stay at home dad for the first couple of years, as my better brings home the bacon, and money...
Andrew
Everything that you are going to whine-bitch-moan-complain about will be worth it.
During the delivery your job is to be at the top of the bed at your wife's head. That is the only place you need to be and to look. Everything below that is the nurse and doctor domain that you don't need to concern yourself with. Once the baby is out look only at your wife's face and the baby. Best advice I was ever given. Not that I don't know what happened, I just didn't need to see if myself.
Oh, and look into a playgroup now. Staying home all day with an infant will drive you nuts.
Watch the movie Babies. You do not have to be a clean Nazi.
slefain wrote: During the delivery your job is to be at the top of the bed at your wife's head. That is the only place you need to be and to look. Everything below that is the nurse and doctor domain that you don't need to concern yourself with.
I was there and was told by the Doctor to get down to the other end and see "everything".
I am glad I did. It is okay. I just wished I had left when the stiches started...........enough said...........
slefain wrote: During the delivery your job is to be at the top of the bed at your wife's head. That is the only place you need to be and to look. Everything below that is the nurse and doctor domain that you don't need to concern yourself with. Once the baby is out look only at your wife's face and the baby. Best advice I was ever given. Not that I don't know what happened, I just didn't need to see if myself.
Sleep now.
think of your life as it is now... think of all the things you do and enjoy.... think long and hard so they'll be imbedded in your memory.... 'cause in a very short while you'll have NO life for quite some time... but it'll be worth it... just be prepared 
skruffy wrote: Sleep *now*.
+150937442509234509342
mylicon is wonderful stuff too (anti-gas for infants)
Your baby can already hear what's going on around him (I think -- if not, he soon will. You can look up the exact timing in one of the 53 baby development books you're probably already reading.) I said goodnight to my first son in the same words and with the same intonation every night for the last few months. It was just a couple of sentences, but I made it a habit, and my wife said he always stopped squirming around to listen. A few minutes after he was born, I bent down over him and said it again, and he stopped crying, swivelled his head around, looked right at me, and obviously was thinking, "So THIS is the guy I've been listening to...." I like to think it was a welcome bit of familiarity in a very loud, very cold, very bright new world.
Also, let your baby tell you what he likes or doesn't like. One of my sons liked having his back rubbed; the other couldn't care less. Even if they can't talk, they can communicate, so pay attention.
Lastly, if you're going to be the SAHD, it's up to you to talk to him all the time about what's going on. That's how he learns about his world.
Oh, and Have Fun. This is irreplaceable time, and too many Dads miss it.
Get involved. Be involved. Stay involved.
Sleep now, also learn to take cat naps. so that when the baby sleeps you can too. While you have a little time bolt the shelves to the wall. My daughter used them to haul herself to her feet. After that you will start to move breakable things up out of reach because nothing you have is yours any more until the baby learns what is not theirs. That is a good start.
not that i dont love bein a dad to a lil guy that almost didnt make it. was born with a heart defect. but def sleep.. sleep sleep sleep.. and i also cast a vote for talkin to the lil one while in moms belly.. i tickled my sons feet while he was blooming. and now he still likes it and he is 6 yrs old.. weird yet cool all at the same time.
There's a reason parents are started off with babies--because no matter how many "needs" you try to project onto your child in the beginning, no matter how much you as a parent try to complicate things, babies are incredibly basic.
You WILL know what your baby wants, but you'll learn it through trial and error, because that's how we learn and because both you and your baby will be learning how to get your messages across. You absolutely will not screw your child up because you didn't get it right first time off, as long as you stay within some almost unbelievably broad boundaries--tend to basic needs, don't shake the baby, routine health-class stuff.
Ignore the magazines--their job is to compel you to read them, and parenting magazines do this by creating all kinds of wacky fears. Do a lot of talking/smiling/communicating to welcome the new visitor to our planet and clue him or her in to our ways and joys, and be ready to adapt yourself to the ways of whatever planet your child arrives from... which means, above all, yes... sleep when you can.
Margie
Use a condom.......wait
Classical music.. lots of it. Then, a pot-load of diapers.
Find a cheaper liquor now-you will be drinking more.
Babies cry for a reason. Hungry, need a fresh diaper, attention. Sometimes something causing hurt. You will soon learn to decipher the cries.
It's our first child and we'll be trying both disposable and non disposable diapers, friends have told us how easy it can be.
Hopefully I'll get over my sensitive gag reflex as well. Yeah, we have already talked about it, my job during the delivery is to make margaritas, its the one thing she's been craving for the past 9 months.
As for using a condom, no, they're too small. That's why they invented the pill.
please keep the advice coming! I really do appreciate it.
Sounds like you have quite a sense of humor.
Keep ahold of it; you're gonna need every bit.....
I forgot to add: You will probably go to bed every night feeling like a failure, and wake up every morning feeling completely unprepared. Don't worry about it; that just means you're doing your job.
Margie
iceracer wrote: Babies cry for a reason. Hungry, need a fresh diaper, attention. Sometimes something causing hurt. You will soon learn to decipher the cries.
and yet as harsh as it may sound there are times that you just have to let the baby cry.... very hard on new parents.... the early test of this will be when the baby figures out that all it has to do is cry and you'll come running to pick it up and rock it (sorry should be more pc and say he/she...) eventually it/he/she will cry it/he/she to sleep and eventually will stop jerking your chain... at least that one... have fun
when we brought or son home, my wife did aslot more than i did.. but, ill tell ya i can sleep thru a tornado. but when we squeaked at night i FLEW ouuta bed. even now that he is 6. when he has abad dreamor needs something i always hear him before my wife..
Don't lose yourself to the kid. Sure, your life will revolve around that child, but don't give up your passion. If you have a project, keep at it, even if you only buff a fender for 5 minutes. It's the sanity you'll need. And when the time comes- you'll have a passion for something to share... instead of being rendered braindead by the Wiggles (seriously, I don't even have my own child, but those wiggles are worse than heroin)
Stealthtercel wrote: Your baby can already hear what's going on around him (I think -- if not, he soon will. You can look up the exact timing in one of the 53 baby development books you're probably already reading.) I said goodnight to my first son in the same words and with the same intonation every night for the last few months. It was just a couple of sentences, but I made it a habit, and my wife said he always stopped squirming around to listen. A few minutes after he was born, I bent down over him and said it again, and he stopped crying, swivelled his head around, looked right at me, and obviously was thinking, "So THIS is the guy I've been listening to...." I like to think it was a welcome bit of familiarity in a very loud, very cold, very bright new world.
My son.. who is ready to be born literally any time now, figured out what time I come home from work at night. When I do work nights, I get home around 8:30-8:45. About 4 months ago my girlfriend noticed that the baby would start kicking and moving around about a half hour before I got home and he would keep going until about 9pm. The past few weeks I've had my schedule changed at work in case the baby decides to show up and even now, he still moves around at the same time. I can't wait till he's here and he sees who that guy was that kept walking in the door at 8:30
Everyone asks me if I'm nervous about being a Dad, I'm not. The only thing I'm nervous about is getting that phone call when she says "it's time". We both don't like being in a hospital so if we can get past that, we're good. The other thing that helps in my situation... my girlfriend has a 5 yr old, so she's been through all this before. That helps me be less nervous.
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