Alright pansies, it's time to start talking trash and taking names. First up, poopy's E36 M3ty team is going 5-11 for 4th place in the AFC North. 
Real observations:
Denver and New England will both be 10-0 heading into week 12, where they face each other. One team will finish the year 16-0, the other 15-1. I ain't joking, either, look at their schedules! 
(Oaklan, KC, Buffalo, San Diego, the Buttfumbles, and Miami forcripessake!)
The rest of the AFC will have Indy as the clear winner, and the North sending 3 teams to the playoffs. Yeah, for cereal. Cincy, Cleveland, and Baltimore are all gettin' in. Houston's the 7th best AFC team with an 8-8 record at best.
Other side of the ladder, San Fran and Seattle both have a shot at 15-1. SF will still have issues week 3 (at Seattle) but should win the rest, so Seattle's loss will be at SF. Philly will go 13-3! The Skins will finish 11-5 and out of the playoffs. The Pack and Chicago are both in, along with Carolina. Dirty Birds out. Yeah, really. Because Carolina's going to win the division.
So what say you guys (and girls, like poopy)?
This is how I feel about most organized sports:
http://theoatmeal.com/pl/working_home/piggers
James Harrison will get fined, and the sorry ass bungholes fans will not rally to help him pay.
Sorry as they may be, Stillers will finish 11-5 get in with a wildcard spot, win the AFC, then the Superbowl. Duh. Dwyer will be ranked one of the top running backs in the league. Ben will get hurt, hopefully Broslovski will get hurt, and Landry Jones can step up and be the hero Ben was in '04. Paulson will step up as TE, and we'll get to make Fight Club references for at least 1/4 of the season.
RGIII will get hurt in the first month, and sit his sorry goofy hat wearin ass next to Cousins on the bench while they both continue to draw their huge checks.
Dirty Sanchez will continue to date High School chicks, and no one will care.
The MudBirds will suck, and all the fairweather berkeleyt*rds in ATL will be peeling stickers off their cars and selling their jerseys on ebay CHEAP.
Every Succaneers game will be blacked-out.
That's about all I got right now.
poopshovel wrote:
James Harrison will get fined, and the sorry ass bungholes fans will not rally to help him pay.
couldnt decide which one I like more...
Good luck with Ben Broke-down-isberger. Since he will be hard to see under the pile,Whit and Peko and Atkins and the gang will be happy to tell him you said hai.
I'm a New England Patriots fan. There, I said it. 
From my perspective, I'm hoping they can overcome the loss of pretty much every single receiver Tom Brady threw to last year. The new receiving corps looks surprisingly good through camp and preseason, but that means nothing. The rest of the AFC East still blows, so that helps too. I'm hoping the defensive side of the ball doesn't suck as bad as it has for the past 5+ years. They have been awful on defense. I'm hoping Tebow's magical healing powers can be used on our oft-injured players as well. Oh, wait...
Know who else is a Patriots fan? Mr. Tim Suddard. We had a nice conversation about them at the Challenge last year. 
Javelin,
You been inhalin' too much ancient paint dust....
Neither the Broncos nor the Patsies will go beyond week 6 or so without a loss. They're both good, but both have definite weaknesses. I think they're probably the two top AFC seeds (perhaps Baltimore), but it's a weaker conference overall. I can see either of those teams going 12-4, maybe 13-3 tops.
I jumped on the 49ers bandwagon in 1979-80 and have ridden it since. They're really good, which is great to see as the last decade has been brutal. With the NFC being strong, and Seattle in their own division, I see them at 12-4 or 13-3 also. Seattle finishes 11-5.
I'm born and raised in the Philly area. I don't see the Eagles coming close to having a "good" team. Not yet. They'll be better than last year, but that's not saying much. 7-9 will be a good year for them. Their defense is suspect at best, and the offense doesn't have enough weapons to win a weekly shootout.
I just don't see a "dominant" team in either conference that can go 15-1 this year. SF may come closest, but don't think anyone really has a great shot to run the table. The rest of the teams...lots of parity...aka mediocrity.
And the award for most common sense post goes to...
Klayfish!
Oh and I predict KC will have a better season than Philly. Atlanta out of the playoffs and only Carolina getting in from the NFC south? You might want to reconsider that notion.
In reply to Klayfish:
Have you looked at the schedules this season? Nether NE or Denver plays any team better than about 9-7 besides each other the one time.
SF and Seattle have a harder looking schedule, but they both beat all those same teams last season.
The schedules this year are wack.
In reply to Anti-stance:
FWIW, my patent-pending configurator for F1 had Kimi leading the championship, Vettel with broken car and DNF at every race, and Bernie selling F1 to me for $1, so it's not uh, "very accurate"
I did seriously run the schedule through though, and it looks really odd like my "predictions". Some teams have some crazy (west coast to east and back 3 weeks in a row for example) schedules.
Here, run your own season prediction: http://clinton-morell.com/n.html
It's really fun!
All I know is that I'm in a suicide football pool. This will be my 4th year, and I have yet to make it past week 4. Damn double digit favorite upsets...
Packers fan. 2013 will be tough...brutal schedule. Still think they win NFC North...but SF or Seattle goes further in playoffs.
http://clinton-morell.com/n.html?a=-ZWVlmmqpVpqpallqVZmZVlZmqpmlplWamaqpqmZllVpqqZqqqqaZpamqmpqqmqaqmqqaqWmVpqlmqalqpmlVpC_
I'm still a Lions fan. They might win a handful of games and still generally stink up the joint.
After that, I don't care. 
poopshovel wrote:
http://clinton-morell.com/n.html?a=-ZWVlmmqpVpqpallqVZmZVlZmqpmlplWamaqpqmZllVpqqZqqqqaZpamqmpqqmqaqmqqaqWmVpqlmqalqpmlVpC_
He's on the Green & Gold bandwagon!
FSP_ZX2 wrote:
poopshovel wrote:
http://clinton-morell.com/n.html?a=-ZWVlmmqpVpqpallqVZmZVlZmqpmlplWamaqpqmZllVpqqZqqqqaZpamqmpqqmqaqmqqaqWmVpqlmqalqpmlVpC_
He's on the Green & Gold bandwagon!
Gotta call it like I see it!
06HHR
Reader
8/20/13 2:08 p.m.
There's two Lions fans on this Forum? That must be some kind of record! Last time I wore my Lions gear to the supermarket, an old lady let me cut in front of her in line, she felt sorry for me! Alas, your assessment is right, they may play the spoiler for some wildcard contender at the end of the season.. 
Bring back the "Replacement Refs" for the funny factor!!
poopshovel wrote:
FSP_ZX2 wrote:
poopshovel wrote:
http://clinton-morell.com/n.html?a=-ZWVlmmqpVpqpallqVZmZVlZmqpmlplWamaqpqmZllVpqqZqqqqaZpamqmpqqmqaqmqqaqWmVpqlmqalqpmlVpC_
He's on the Green & Gold bandwagon!
Gotta call it like I see it!
That would be historical...to say the least.
That's your page?
I am also a Patriots fan, I still disapprove of picking up Tebow though even though it is apparently with no guaranteed money.
Green Bay and Denver will be the #1 seeds in their divisions and may have 28 wins between them. Then they'll both get sent home after their bye weeks because they hadn't played a meaningful game for over a month and a half.
Jacksonville, the Jets and Oakland will combine for fewer than 10 wins.
San Fran, Cincy, Houston and Seattle will be the most dangerous and talented playoff teams.
The rest of the league will hover around .500 for most of the season before the last few weeks decides who gets to get beaten by one of the above four.
jg
Ian F
UltimaDork
8/20/13 3:23 p.m.
In reply to Klayfish:
I can't see Philly with a winning record this year either.
My actual bracket: Real Predictions
Still have NE 16-0, berk me! Ravens 12-4, Cincy 10-6, Indy 13-3, Houston 11-5, Denver 14-2, with Cleveland outside looking in and everybody else in the AFC under .500.
NFC I have SF 14-2 and Seattle 11-5. Philly 12-4, Skins 11-5, GB 12-4, Dirty Birds 10-6, with the Giants (9-7), Chicago (11-5), Nawlins (10-6), Carolina (9-7), and Arizona (9-7) outside looking in and everybody else under .500.
