In reply to RevRico :
I've also heard (from a hilarious black comedian who's name I forgot): "Kale is how white people punish themselves."
In reply to RevRico :
I've also heard (from a hilarious black comedian who's name I forgot): "Kale is how white people punish themselves."
"The MR2 Spyder is the Rodney Dangerfield of sportscars; it gets no respect."
Injured big toes possess a gravity greatly disproportional to their mass.
“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
The actress Shelly Winters was told to bring a photo and her resume to an audition.
She arrived with a big carpet bag, reached in, and pulled out an Oscar.
"Here's my picture. "
She pulled out another Oscar, slapped it down on the table. "And here's my berkeleying résumé."
Me: "1st shift is so berking dumb, they can't run a coat hanger."
As I look at the uniform company's hanger racks that have numerous hangers at various, jaunty angles or COMPLETELY flipped the other direction.
Appleseed said:Me: "1st shift is so berking dumb, they can't run a coat hanger."
As I look at the uniform company's hanger racks that have numerous hangers at various, jaunty angles or COMPLETELY flipped the other direction.
You work for my father-in-law?
"This put the final efficiency of the process at an impressive .26%. So my original prediction of 30% wasn't that far off, I just kind of misplaced the decimal by two spots."
Source:
“I am a connoisseur of E36 M3boxes. I have nothing but the highest quality of E36 M3boxes to bring down the neighborhood property values.”
- Dusterbd13 2024
"Never put the cheese away until the nachos are in the oven."
Review of the Dehavilland Dash-8 Q400:
Congratulations on picking a great big berkeleying turd to fly! Make no mistake, the Q400 is just a god awful airplane. I think what I hate most about it is the air conditioning - When the bleeds aren't sending smoke from burning oil into the cabin (this is an alarmingly regular occurrence), the ACMs simply do a terrible job regulating the temperature in automatic mode, and if you put them in manual, moving the knob the width of a hair will roast you or freeze you. Every time you change power settings down in the 10-40% torque range the bleeds change from 2.2 - 2.7 - 3.0 making the airflow erratic and noisy and very distracting and very very berkeleying irritating. Also, if you shut the airplane down without the pack knobs in the 12 o'clock position, wherever you left them will become the new "12 o'clock" next time you turn them on.
Obviously this is a huge berkeleying annoyance and it usually requires you to completely shut off the packs to reset the ECS, which unless you want to lose pressurization, you had better do on the ground and if you forget, have fun being either freezing or sweltering for the whole flight. My second least favorite part of this POS is the brakes... Holy. E36 M3. Stopping this airplane is frustrating at best from the cockpit, and downright traumatizing as a passenger. Don't make the mistake of assuming that like other airplanes, when you apply a normal amount of pressure to the tops of the pedals, something will happen. This is not the case. Instead, you will have to use almost the ENTIRE WEIGHT OF YOUR BODY on the pedals, and then wait several seconds, and then you will feel yourself slowing. This, of course, is just to slow down from a normal 15-20kt taxi, so plan ahead when you're taxiing. In order to slow down on landing, you will need to apply the brakes immediately; whatever you do, don't wait until you need them because they need to heat up in order to do anything (I am aware that this is the case with most airplanes with carbon brakes, but the q400's brakes are an EXTRA special case). So after applying a significant amount of pressure, that you are hoping isn't enough to lock them up, you will wait several seconds and feel no deceleration due to the brakes. You will then apply a tiny bit more pressure, only to find that that was WAY TOO MUCH AND NOW THEY ARE GRABBING ASYMMETRICALLY AND YOU ARE LURCHING BACK AND FORTH AND EVERYONE IN THE BACK IS PULLING THEIR CRUSHED FACES OUT OF THE SEATBACKS IN FRONT OF THEM AND LOOKING AROUND AT THE OTHERS, SILENTLY BUT FRANTICALLY EXCHANGING "oh my god holy sh*tf*ck is this normal or are we mere seconds away from perishing in a smoldering heap?" GLANCES and then it's finally over and you can breathe again. After a few months on the airplane I realized that I had no idea how to give a braking action report anymore because it is literally "poor" every single time a Q400 lands, so now I just say fair every time I'm asked because that's the most conservative thing to do and it's probably actually at least fair to every other transport category aircraft that has ever been produced. The logic in the cockpit layout is really E36 M3ty too... I'm sure you've noticed that there is only ONE set of controls for TWO MFD's. Who the berkeley thought of that, huh? Granted, most of the time there's no need to have the doors page and the fuel page up simultaneously, and it's a damn good thing because YOU berkeleyING CAN'T unless you cycle through the pages in just the right way (think solving a rubix cube) because the DIPE36 M3 that designed this airplane was a lazy berkeleying vajajay and only put one set of buttons on the pedestal. And what other airplane makes you specifically ask it to level off at the altitude you spun into the window? WHY THE berkeley ELSE DID I PUT THAT ALTITUDE THERE IF IT WASN'T BECAUSE I WANTED TO STOP THERE? There is NO reason for the ALT SEL button but at least if you're not a moron it's not a big deal. Oh and did you know that there isn't actually a yaw damper on this airplane? I know there is a button on the FGC to engage it but did you know that it's not actually connected to anything? Just kidding. I have been told that there is in fact a yaw damper on the Q400 and you can't use the autopilot if it doesn't work, but you sure could have fooled me because it doesn't do a berkeleyING thing. You're gonna love swinging the tail back and forth trying to keep the brick centered Every. Single. Time. you change power or pitch. Most people just fly around uncoordinated and some people use differential power to keep it coordinated so they don't have to touch the EXTREMELY sensitive rudder pedals/trim, but your airline may not like that because supposedly splitting the power like that wreaks havoc on the ANVS and makes it fail a lot faster. This thing is awful in turbulence. And guess what? Since you can't go above FL250, you are gonna feel all of it hahahaha. And don't even think about asking how the ride ahead is, because nobody else is flying at your altitude! Don't keep your feet on the floor when it gets bumpy because as soon as you hit a nasty one they will fly up and you will bust the berkeley out of your shins on the sharp lower edge of the panel. The corners of the pedestal are sharp too, so especially watch out for your knee by the FMS because that berkeleying hurts too if you bump it. Guess what else? Probably the very same STUPID DIPE36 M3 that designed the rest of the cockpit thought it'd be really smart to house the windshield wipers horizontally, instead of vertically like every other berkeleying airplane. So now, thanks to that ASSCLOWN, you get to hear every single knot of wind over the wiper blades and this airplane is loud as E36 M3 to begin with (admit it: you thought the Q stood for quiet didn't you. It's ok, I thought so too. It actually stands for "quite motherberkeleying loud still despite what we've told you so bring a good headset bitch"). Luckily, you can park them vertically with the wiper control but this is officially "frowned upon" at my airline so some crews may not feel "comfortable" doing it. I feel much more uncomfortable listening to the torrent of wind hitting the blades than breaking a silly rule that nobody will ever find out about, but some people are different. Oh, and the clamshell door. Nothing quite like sitting around not getting paid for 10 minutes after you hand out the paperwork because you're waiting for the rampers to move the jet bridge so you can close the door. On the other hand, if you want to make up that 10 minutes and more, just start the APU with the batteries off. Then you can sit for 20min- a half hour with the door closed waiting for the loads to come down to .10. Want to cancel a flight and go home? Spin the baro knob all the way down as far as it will go. That will break the CPC for some reason and make it show "FAULT." That's a gamble though because you don't want them to just end up deferring the CPC and making you do it yourself in manual mode because that's a great big nuisance. Good luck and enjoy missing commute after commute because these things are held together by spit!
-"The closer a parking space is to the door, the more oil stained it will be."
-"Parking spaces at the auto parts store are more oil stained than those at the health food store"
-me
"Don't be sorry, be better." -Blue (My late best friend)
Not my pig, not my farm.
"The Paul Brown sway bar, like I have, has three settings; the first one is for street, the second one is for racing, and the third one is for tearing the sway bar mounts off your chassis."
If you're still alive, you should still be learning things - Steve Morris
Olgierd von Everec: "Whoa, whoa, what the bloody hell is this? Geralt, have you decided to play defender of the downtrodden?"
Geralt of Rivia: "More like "gutter of sons of bitches"."
"Noone is dumb enough to do the dumb thing....until they find themselves doing the really dumb thing."
In reply to Duke :
That. Was. PERFECT 🤣🫡
"i don't recall saying you were free to come in."
"I don't recall asking for permission."
"I'm real sensitive on some occasions and real trashy on others." -Jimmy Buffett
"Now that's a Florida Man if I ever saw one" the TSA agent to me, .2 seconds after seeing my ID and glancing up at me in person.
Capped off a week of absolute weirdness in MN.
"You're happier than a puppy with two peckers" SWMBO
"Sometimes life, doesn't find a way, your existence might be summed up primarily as a cautionary tale"
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