Running shine' car

HappyAndy wrote: Ain't nobody gona inspect this this

19,500 lbs of extremely gross weight

The other option would be to run something obvious as a decoy... Get it pulled over and tied up while you make a run. Never more than a couple squads out in the sticks- real easy to waylay them.

Just a good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm. Beat all you never saw, been in trouble wit' the law since the day they was born.

Weeee-haw!

I'd grab a bunch of beige rental cars. Nobody notices a Camry, even if it's loaded down with hooch.

travellering wrote: BTW, to Slow: your username and status level of reader work perfectly together in this case! Look two posts before your last one..

Haha. I don't only read slowly! I think slowly too.

I hear through the grapevine that if you wanted to move organic south american goods north through GA back in the late 80s, the trick was to get a 3-4 year old Lincoln Town Car or similar. The driver needed to wear a suit or at least a tie and drive about 5 over the limit. He should also keep a briefcase with the latest copy of the WSJ in it, a few folders, and a legal pad. Anytime he stops to eat he should take the legal pad and a folder in and make random notes while eating.

Now, moving liquids requires more weight carrying capacity if one were to make enough profit to justify the risk, so something in the full size, truck, or van category is a good bet. A work van with a full ladder rack would be my choice, something in a 2500 series chassis to carry lots of weight loaded low with enough lightweight tools and stuff thrown in on top to look good. It wouldn't be logo'd as a real cable company though, it's too easy to check. I'd run door decals proclaiming it to be an independent cable contractor with some made up company name on the side on magnetics that could be easily changed out. Not that I've considered this. Also - what makes you think today's moonshining happens in the rural mountains?

Back when I was working for a sign company repairing big LED signs I drove a nondescript work van with stick-on signs for the sign company. I usually wore short sleeve, light blue button up shirts and jeans or khakis. No names or logos. If I had a tool bag in my hand I could go anywhere in any building I wanted. No one ever asked who I was or where I was from. It was like being invisible. It was kind of creepy some days.

wbjones wrote: '50 Ford coupe with a supercharged flathead

<--my vote

UPS truck or ambulance

I'd pick my LTD, but it needs a little more engine first. Maybe something modern out of a newer GT500 or maybe an old school 429.

In reply to ultraclyde:

Looking like you're working is one of the best credibility props one can have.

ultraclyde wrote: I hear through the grapevine that if you wanted to move organic south american goods north through GA back in the late 80s, the trick was to get a 3-4 year old Lincoln Town Car or similar. The driver needed to wear a suit or at least a tie and drive about 5 over the limit. He should also keep a briefcase with the latest copy of the WSJ in it, a few folders, and a legal pad. Anytime he stops to eat he should take the legal pad and a folder in and make random notes while eating. Now, moving liquids requires more weight carrying capacity if one were to make enough profit to justify the risk, so something in the full size, truck, or van category is a good bet. A work van with a full ladder rack would be my choice, something in a 2500 series chassis to carry lots of weight loaded low with enough lightweight tools and stuff thrown in on top to look good. It wouldn't be logo'd as a real cable company though, it's too easy to check. I'd run door decals proclaiming it to be an independent cable contractor with some made up company name on the side on magnetics that could be easily changed out. Not that I've considered this. Also - what makes you think today's moonshining happens in the rural mountains? Back when I was working for a sign company repairing big LED signs I drove a nondescript work van with stick-on signs for the sign company. I usually wore short sleeve, light blue button up shirts and jeans or khakis. No names or logos. If I had a tool bag in my hand I could go anywhere in any building I wanted. No one ever asked who I was or where I was from. It was like being invisible. It was kind of creepy some days.

yup.

A classic example of what you can get away with if you look like you're on official business: Telstar Logistics

The next best thing to being invisible.

Dinger beat me to it. Minivans are utterly invisible. And as our air force has proven, stealth is the future.

I'll reiterate my answer from before, GC WRX with powertrain upgrade and some goodies to confuse the cops:

https://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/grm/modern-moonshine-rig/57094/page1/

mndsm wrote: The other option would be to run something obvious as a decoy... Get it pulled over and tied up while you make a run. Never more than a couple squads out in the sticks- real easy to waylay them.

Drug traffickers do this IRL. They run a car that looks like a collection of red flags to distract/draw out the cops, ahead of the real thing.

In reply to GameboyRMH:

Based on how I looked and what I drove in my late teens, and how the cops never bothered me, I feel this is a bad strategy.

JtspellS wrote:

Ground clearance of a snow plow and turning radius of a navy mindsweeper. Tranny and oil cooler are in a vulnerable spot and the suspension bits have the longevity of something you would buy at harbor freight; guess how I know

Cotton wrote: I'd pick my LTD, but it needs a little more engine first. Maybe something modern out of a newer GT500 or maybe an old school 429. That's straight up Gator McCluskey/ Burt Reynolds right there. White Lightning with the evil sheriff played by Ned Beatty. But I really liked the "jet" boat McCluskey drove in the swamp in Gator.

dinger wrote: The next best thing to being invisible.

Or a Camry with a coffin dodger at the wheel.

Although I happen to have it on good authority that Subaru's of various ilk are indigenous to the blue ridge mountains. Seems a bit odd. But the last time I was there the only thing more common than those was ford trucks. Old ones. Subaru everywhere! So if one was so inclined one might build an ej legacy sleeper with a remote dump to keep it quiet til it was time to boogie.

Any truck lettered as a "Deadstock Removal and Rendering business.

Nohome, excellent point. When a Griffin Industries dump truck passed by, you can almost see the smell wake. I once heard a driver proudly proclaim, "I picked up 40 dead race horses the other day! Thoroughbreds!"