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infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
8/17/21 6:11 p.m.

Avi was born at 3:44PM on Monday. He's 8lbs, 11oz, 22" long, and very strong and healthy. 

This is him about 30 minutes after being born, sleeping in my arms. He's a very happy and calm baby, not fussy at all. We couldn't as for much more in a baby!

The Wife has had a very difficult time and she's still recovering. Avi was face-up instead of face-down, which makes birth a lot more difficult. After 30 hours of labor she pushed for 3.5 hours with basically no progress. One of the doctors tried to manually rotate the baby, which means he lubed up his hand and went right in, halfway to the elbow. Definitely not a comfortable thing for my wife. They opted for an emergency c section as the baby's heart rate was starting to drop more and more each time she pushed. 

During the c section they found that his head was stuck in her pelvis - he was simply too big to pass through there, especially upside down. They used a fetal balloon to dislodge his head and as they pulled him out he tore her uterus over to the side, tearing her broad ligament, where there's several arteries and the tube that goes from her bladder to her kidney.  After they cleaned up Avi they let me hold him (I was in the surgery room with her, right by her head to provide support) and of course I pretty much cried my eyes out the second I touched him. I have never in my life felt such an incredible rush of emotion!  

Anyways, after I heard one of the doctors curse and the other one handed him the cooler full of blood for transfusions, I started worrying. She was shaking and screaming from the pain, even through the epidural and some more drugs, so they gave her some very powerful painkillers and had me take Avi to the recovery room.  
That was one of the most stressful moments of my life. I'm holding Avi and he's being great, but time kept ticking on and my wife wasn't out yet. I watched part of the c section. It's pretty gruesome. And by pretty I mean shockingly gruesome. I saw my wife's uterus sitting on top of her stomach. I saw her intestines. Blood was running onto the floor. An hour passed, then two. I was trying not to be negative, and I kept reminding myself that we were in a great hospital with excellent doctors, but after two hours I was really worried.  Times like this when you don't get updates, your worst fears always gain a stronger voice and I was starting to worry that she didn't make it. After two and a half hours they wheeled her bed back into the room. She was super drugged up but they had managed to fix everything, although she lost a LOT of blood - almost half of her blood to be precise.  To make matters worse, she also has a uterine infection and is running a fever now, on top of an already difficult recovery. And the pain killers they're giving her aren't working very well. She is healing, but it's been rough times. 
 

After that experience we've decided that this will be our only child - it was something we were considering anyway. Due to these injuries any future pregnancies would be difficult and she could only have a c section. 
 

Avi has been perfect. He didn't even cry when he got his vitamin k shot. He's passed all his tests with flying colors. He had a slight tongue tie so they snipped that and said he cried for about 5 seconds then just went back to sleep. He latched pretty much right away and he's got a good healthy appetite. And a strong grip!

Anyways, here's momma holding him for the first time, right out of surgery. 

 

mr2s2000elise
mr2s2000elise UberDork
8/17/21 6:15 p.m.

Congrats to parents!  
 

welcome Avi to GRM family! 

thatsnowinnebago
thatsnowinnebago GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
8/17/21 6:18 p.m.

Jeeze, that's a rough birth. Glad everyone's doing ok now. 

classicJackets (FS)
classicJackets (FS) Dork
8/17/21 6:20 p.m.

Congratulations to you both, and I wish the best recovery possible for your wife. The next few weeks will be a little intense for you both in different ways, but absolutely rewarding and miraculous. The best thing you can do now is make your wife's life easier, so you'll probably get to do all the diaper changes and all of the lifting - that's what our first few weeks were like and it was, honestly, the best.

Dusterbd13-michael
Dusterbd13-michael MegaDork
8/17/21 6:27 p.m.

Happy and healthy. All prayers answered! 

Go be a good dad and husband. Most important jobs we'll ever have. And the greatest experience I have ever had. 

Congratulations. 

Stampie
Stampie GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/17/21 6:28 p.m.

Wow congrats but take care of her.  It's going to take a while for her to recover so expect to do double duty for a while.  Knowing you I don't think that'll be a problem at all.  Just expect the next 3 months to be a zombie with no sleep.  Does your work give paternity leave?  After Lil Stampie was born mine uped it to 3 months.  Take everything they will give you.

grover
grover GRM+ Memberand Dork
8/17/21 6:29 p.m.

Women are incredible. 

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
8/17/21 6:32 p.m.

You'll never sleep again.  Everything you've ever done will pale in compare to this adventure. Congratulations.

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
8/17/21 6:34 p.m.

In reply to Stampie :

Unfortunately my workplace doesn't offer paternity leave, and I only had 3 days of PTO. So Thursday I'll be taking a day of unpaid leave and Friday I'll be working remotely from the hospital. Monday I don't have much choice but to be back at work. So I'll be doing my best to help The Wife recover as good as possible and rest as much as possible. Every minute I'm home I'll be taking care of The Wife and Avi. 

Stampie
Stampie GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/17/21 6:45 p.m.

In reply to infinitenexus :

Sleep when Avi sleeps.  Things around the house don't have to be perfect for the next 3 months.  Taking care of Avi when he's awake is what needs to happen.  I wish I was up there to help.  Also most (including me) new parents think you have to do everything just right or all hell will break loose.  Once I realized that cavemen raised kids 50,000 years ago I chilled out on the OCD.

Dusterbd13-michael
Dusterbd13-michael MegaDork
8/17/21 6:47 p.m.

Listen to stampie. He says it way better than I have ever found the words for. 

wheelsmithy (Joe-with-an-L)
wheelsmithy (Joe-with-an-L) GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
8/17/21 7:02 p.m.

Good on Ya!. Speedy recovery for the Missus.

Antihero (Forum Supporter)
Antihero (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand UberDork
8/17/21 7:38 p.m.

Congratulations!

 

It sounds like a difficult birth, happy thoughts sent your way with that. To make you feel a bit better about blood loss...my dad was tranfusted 82 gallons apparently in his first 2 weeks at the ICU.

captdownshift (Forum Supporter)
captdownshift (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/17/21 7:40 p.m.

Definitely hoping for a speedy recovery for your wife in all facets for her. The experiences of the past year will have prepared you for the adversity and you have excelled in the face of it. 

Instill confidence in her, encourage her to lament and ensure that she communicates instead of closing off, as she may be concerned that she doesn't want to complain as she knows that you're all just doing your best. 

 

Also remind her that you're not Superman. And that you try to do things that you can without being asked or reminded to but that that's always not possible for anyone let her know that you appreciate reminders, even if they can be irritating (don't tell her that they can be). One of the reasons you want the reminders and reinforcement from her is there will be times that you think that you are working towards what's best and she might have a mindset that there's something else that should be higher up the priority list. This isn't even regarding major stuff this is simple stuff like dishes versus vacuuming versus laundry. 

Every moment is now quality moments, I don't need to tell you to take the time to enjoy them and I have the utmost confidence in you. Sometime in the future Avi will have to be told about the journey of growth and discovery that occurred in the year leading up to his birth. One of my favorite motivational speakers speaks of "falling forward", you've done amazing job. 

 

And I'll echo the previously mentioned words, listen to Uncle Stampie. 

yupididit
yupididit PowerDork
8/17/21 7:41 p.m.

Congrats man. I'm proud of y'all for getting through this journey. It felt like a few months ago when you told us you'll be a dad and look where you are! Much love

84FSP
84FSP UltraDork
8/17/21 7:42 p.m.

Congrats!  Take as much time as you can afford to.  There is nothing like the first weeks and you can't get them back.  

John Welsh
John Welsh Mod Squad
8/17/21 7:44 p.m.

In reply to infinitenexus :

I was thinking of you just the other day.  Haven't heard or seen much from you so I figured the countdown must be on.  

Congrats!  

Slippery
Slippery GRM+ Memberand UberDork
8/17/21 7:56 p.m.

Congrats!!

dj06482 (Forum Supporter)
dj06482 (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
8/17/21 7:57 p.m.

Congratulations on the birth of Avi! I'll be praying for your wife's recovery, that sounds like a very difficult birth. 

Apexcarver
Apexcarver UltimaDork
8/17/21 7:59 p.m.

Congratulations!

My boys are 3 and 9 months. Becoming a dad is one of those things that's almost impossible to describe. You have this! 

 

If you need advice or moral support, we are all here for you. Pm away if we can help.

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
8/17/21 8:13 p.m.

Thanks guys!  I'm also really grateful for the medical staff at UH. They are incredible and it really makes a difference

 

i always try to reply to each person but obviously a tad too busy for that now hehe. The Wife is feeding him again. It seems he's just beginning to start the cluster feeding stage. After feeding he's really good about sleeping very soundly for a while. 
 

The wife just went through a really bad period of pain where even the oxy wasn't touching it. From her abdominal cavity being open, there always winds up being a lot of air, gas, and bloating. So she's distended and has air and gas pushing on all of her wounds. We (me and the amazing nurse) got her to sit up and she gagged a few times from the pain (which of course was even more painful) but finally burped like a dozen times and now she's sitting back feeding Avi and still in pain but doing much better. Tomorrow our goal is to have her walk around a little bit at regular intervals to help move the gas out. We have to be careful because she still has a catheter in from all the swelling. 
 

I tell you what, next Mother's Day I'm doing a lot for her. She has absolutely earned it!

68TR250
68TR250 HalfDork
8/17/21 8:28 p.m.

Congratulations!  Spend every minute with her  that you can. Before you know they will be grown and gone. 

BenB
BenB HalfDork
8/17/21 8:33 p.m.

Congratulations! I'm glad everyone is doing okay!

cdowd (Forum Supporter)
cdowd (Forum Supporter) Dork
8/17/21 8:34 p.m.

Congratulations! Mine are 18 and almost 21 now.  It goes by quick so don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy every minute.  I hope a speedy recovery for your wife.

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
8/17/21 8:37 p.m.

In reply to John Welsh :

I've been busy with work and with Avi getting closer I've just mostly stopped all forms of social media. I do try to post in my cryptocurrency thread regularly, as I really enjoy mining and I seem to be pretty decent at it. 

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