Testing Automotive Snake Oi-- er, I mean Miracle Cures

I'm considering undertaking a bit of "science" by using my pickup as a test mule for various Miracle Elixirs available OTC at your local auto parts store. You know, the Marvel Mystery Oils, Seafoams, Restore-Its, Bars Leaks, and Techrons of the world.

My truck is getting on in years and sorta high-ish in miles - it's an '88 19th 172k miles on the totally stock 305; burning a little oil and probably a little coolant - it's generally just getting a bit tired. So, I was initially planning on just dumping them all in (or, most of them) and seeing what happens, but I also see no reason to not apply a bit of "science."

(I keep using that term in quotes because I know there are far too many variables in real-world vehicle use to really effectively test this stuff. It will be purely observational, and pretty subjective at that.)

So, I'm interested in how the Braintrust thinks I should set this up. How can I most effectively isolate the effects of each additive/restorative? What parameters should I be testing? How should I go about deciding what treatment to add first?

Document current oil usage (quarts per 1K miles). Add preferred oil treatment and document new usage.

Same with coolant useage.

SeaFoam/Techron will be a little tougher (without an emmisions tester or 'smooth running' test). But you could document before and after MPG.

Turbonator will require some 1/4 times. I'm sure they are good for at least 1-2 seconds, right?

I'll vouch for Bars Stop Leak. I've used it with success before. Granted it was temporary until I had the time and the money to replace the radiator but it still lasted several months.

The rest of them??? You tell me. I've always thought, snake oil.

Seafoam is great for E36 M3s and giggles. Make sure you're in a secluded spot, because holy hell does it produce the mother of all smokescreens! This is after it had run for a least a couple of minutes:

They work great as degreasers and for cleaning a dirty M4.

Which Seafoam treatment should I test? Or should I do them all?

Any other additives I'm missing?

(And I'll go ahead and vouch for Bars Leak radiator treatment. It stopped a tiny drip I had already. I was planning to try their formula that purports to fix a leaky head gasket and see if I stop burning coolant when the motor's cold.)

I've done seafoam, and it did run noticeably smoother.

Lesley wrote: Seafoam is great for E36 M3s and giggles. Make sure you're in a secluded spot, because holy hell does it produce the mother of all smokescreens! This is after it had run for a least a couple of minutes:

I like ATF better.

I swear restore, the engine one, worked on my 82 k-car back in the day. Motor honey (I think) was the other one I tried, that didn't show any change.

I'd be carefull using fuel system treatments, I've had my mercedes act up a couple of times after using them, but CIS is very prone to contamination.

On my buell blast with a worn out valve guide seal and beaten valve seat I tried restore and motor honey, neather did a damn thing and just like cheech and chong would say, "up in smoke is where all my money goes."

We (my Family) were Slick-50 Distributors in the early 80's. It does work.

Seafoamed my Volvo today.

Lifter tick is gone, startup happens much quicker.

I've had good luck with Seafoam and Marvel Mystery Oil.

GM EOS and Top End Cleaner are very good as well.

Shawn

JFX001 wrote: We (my Family) were Slick-50 Distributors in the early 80's. It does work.

I'm sure it did, to make you money.

Also, anything with "teflon" in the liquid is absurd. Teflon is a solid, and as such, no good thing can come from it being in a liquid

HiTempguy wrote:

JFX001 wrote: We (my Family) were Slick-50 Distributors in the early 80's. It does work.

I'm sure it did, to make you money. Also, anything with "teflon" in the liquid is absurd. Teflon is a solid, and as such, no good thing can come from it being in a liquid

If memory serves, it is polytetrafluorethelyne(sp?)...or PTF. We had the little 3 1/2 hp engine with the plexi-glass cover, drained the oil and it ran. That was proof enough.

I believed in it, and I still do. We (my Family) wouldn't endorse, or sell, anything we didn't believe in, and to suggest otherwise is mere conjecture and fallacy.

I need "headgasket in a can" So far after 20 years of looking I have not found it.

Here are the symptoms I can readily address with my truck. (How's that for a silver lining?) Let's talk about which products to use, how to use them, and in what order, and how to test them as "scientifically" as possible.

• minor white smoke from tailpipe on cold start, probably burning a bit of coolant
• stumble on part throttle, especially just off idle (can sometimes get it to die with the right combination of a jerky pedal foot and left foot braking - vacuum related?)
• hesitation when accelerating 45-60mph with mid-throttle, without the trans kicking down
• minor oil consumption (I'll have to track it to get a baseline)
• minor coolant consumption/loss (98% sure I'm leak free, so it's going somewhere)
• moderately poor fuel mileage (around 12mpg mainly city, short trips - may just be par for the course)
• rust in the cab corners...
• light wallet syndrome...
• expanding driver spare tire...

Okay, probably nothing on the parts store shelf for the last three.

JFX001 wrote: If memory serves, it is polytetrafluorethelyne(sp?)...or PTF. We had the little 3 1/2 hp engine with the plexi-glass cover, drained the oil and it ran. That was proof enough. I believed in it, and I still do. We (my Family) wouldn't endorse, or sell, anything we didn't believe in, and to suggest otherwise is mere conjecture and fallacy.

Any engine will run without oil once it's been broken in, just not for an indefinite amount of time.

The copper and tin bearings are matched to that crank pretty good.

Try putting a load on it for a while and see what happens.

Trans_Maro wrote:

JFX001 wrote: If memory serves, it is polytetrafluorethelyne(sp?)...or PTF. We had the little 3 1/2 hp engine with the plexi-glass cover, drained the oil and it ran. That was proof enough. I believed in it, and I still do. We (my Family) wouldn't endorse, or sell, anything we didn't believe in, and to suggest otherwise is mere conjecture and fallacy.

Any engine will run without oil once it's been broken in, just not for an indefinite amount of time. The copper and tin bearings are matched to that crank pretty good. Try putting a load on it for a while and see what happens.

You might want to give us a wee bit of credit here. There was load on it, we made it happen repeatedly. As far as I know, they are still around...take it up with them if you have any questions, comments or concerns.

JFX001 wrote: We (my Family) were Slick-50 Distributors in the early 80's. It does work.

I remember my '82 Tercel running WAY better (especially at warmup idle) post-Slick 50. This was around 1988-89.

Now there's Z-Max. Never tried that stuff. Don't plan to...

Back to the op's question.

If you run a good fuel system cleaner through it, there will be nothing for subsequent cleaners to remove. So you're likely to incorrectly conclude the first one was good because it did something, and the rest were no good because they did nothing. That's a basic problem with running mutiple agents through the same engine.

Similar with seal swellers and the like.

On the Slick-50 note, I remember watching an infomercial were they took the valve covers off a Viper, drained the oil and ran it around a track 50 some times.

edit: nevermind: http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=863754

But, Seafoam, I use.

Ah finally a topic I can contribute to from actual knowledge!!

My 03 GMC Safari with 140k had a transfer case that would 'catch' after partial throttle, making it very unpleasant pulling away from any stop. A drain of the oem fluid, replace with Royal Purple, 15 miles - lather, rinse, repeat has it acting like a new one.,

Same Safari has been using over a quart of oil every 1000 miles. At the last oil change I used a quart of Lucas Oil Conditioner. At last check it used less than half a quart at 1600 miles.

I'm sold on snake oils.

dean1484 wrote: I need "headgasket in a can" So far after 20 years of looking I have not found it.

Blue Devil worked for me. They have 2 types... large bottle w/ yellow label requires removing the t-stat. Completely flush system and follow the directions.

The other, which is the one I used, is the pour and go... small bottle with white label. No need to remove t-stat and can mix with coolant.

My car has a weak hg... ocassional white smoke, loosing coolant with no external leaks, little oil in coolant and higher than normal temp. NOT a blown hg with milkshake in the oil pan.... I doubt there's any "headgasket in a can" that can fix that.

It's been about 2 months and no coolant loss and clean, no white smoke and the engine runs cooler. Hopefully this will buy me some time.

The only thing that comes in a can that does something to make your car run smoother that I have found in 25+ years is...beer. Drink it until the vibration/noise/rattle doesn't bother you anymore. (Of course, then you can't drive but you can ride in peace. ) Everything else is my experience. I have never had Bar's Leak, STP, oil additives, injection cleaners, magic oil, or anything else have any effect on any of my vehicles. They are all hair tonics in my opinion: they may work on a very small percentage of the population, but the majority of us will still go bald.

(Oddly enough, Seafoam will grow hair back.)

I'd like to know if the home remedies work first

Cracked egg in the radiator?

Sawdust in the transmission or diff for seeping?

Feeding water into the intake for carbon buildup?