The wife is preggers... I don't know if I'm ready for this.

So three years ago I decided to pack up my shot to move to Korea for a job (I'm Korean American so it's not too crazy). I'm 34 now and three months ago I got married to a demanding but chill wife.

I learned today that we are preggers. I'm scared E36 M3less. The wife doesn't work, I make a decent living which covers the cost of 2 people and a dog, but this new addition is scaring the berkeley out of me. After hearing the news, I was literally walking down the street muttering "holy berkeley, holy berkeley"

I'm not even adjusted to married life yet. Don't get me wrong, being a father sounds great but I can feel the pressure slowly creeping up on me. Even now with married life adjustments, I have some internal resentment about the wife not contributing financially because she wanted to concentrate on starting a family, which means I have to take cover everything.

To some degree, I know I have to man up but any advice for the newly husband and soon to be father?

We lived on my salary and my wife worked odd or part-time. We decided it was best for us to have her home raising them. Don't turn the worry machine too far in advance. Just get the room ready and enjoy it. It's all progressive and you'll learn as you go.

Stay married.

And what 310 said, kids are great and not too hard because so much is a gradual adjustment.

It won't be as hard as you think. It's a bunch of adjustments and incremental changes. I recommend staying clear of advice books - they just make you crazy. Use your common sense and draw upon family members you trust for guidance. My wife is in charge of the domestic sphere as well because we think that's best for the kids and we home school. We're expecting kid #4 in December.

You're properly freaked out, and rightfully so, it'll change once you hold the little one. Then you'll just be tired, too tired to be freaked out anymore.

Congratulations!

Your concerns are all valid but, no need to make any rash adjustments.

Settle into the change gradually.

No one you know was really ready for their first kid. If people waited to have kids when they are ready there would be no kids. Your emotions are normal.

Congrats!

Being a father is the best feeling in the in the world. Enjoy. It's going to be fine.

It'll be better than you think. At least you actually know your wife and things ahead of time. I was only with my kids mom for 3 months before she caught baby fever, and after the initial shock and oh E36 M3 faded away, it's not too bad.

As she's getting older, it's a great excuse to buy all the crap I wanted as a kid without getting weird looks or being reminded of my age. Whether she likes it or not is secondary, though she is happy with everything right now.

And as a heads up, ball pit balls are expensive and don't go very far. Best deal I got at the time was around 10 cents per ball for 200, and they don't take up the space you think they would.

Being insane and freaking out is absolutely normal. Mines 7 and I'm still not ready for kids.

The only book I read was "be prepared ". Good book for fatherhood.

Best advice I received, and still believe today, is being the person you want your kid to grow up to be.

And talk with your wife. We as men typically only have four emotions: happy, horny, pissed, and scared E36 M3less. There are others you're about to discover and be uncomfortable with. Women have had them they're whole lives, and don't ever realize that they don't happen to us men until after fatherhood. She can help guide you through them. But be honest. Completely, bold faced, painfully berkeleying honest with her. Only way she's gonna know. That goes for fatherhood and marriage.

Yup, wife and I just had our first child. It is a whirlwind, but it's fine.

A good friend gave me this piece of advice, "Humans have been procreating and propogating successfully for thousands of years. Let nature take its course and keep your big brain involved in other stuff and you'll do fine."

I'm 39 and my wife is 34, we're both working full time in demanding careers, so saying it's an adjustment is an understatement. That said, I can say that all you really need is to ensure mom and baby are in good shape, so doctor appointments and prenatal vitamins. Help her where you can to reduce the burden on her as its a ton of work to carry a baby for 9 months.

Try to enjoy the time before baby arrives, go out to dinner sans baby, go for road trips, etc. it's more difficult to do so after the baby arrives and it's just different but in a good way.

Don't go crazy buying too much baby stuff, all you need is a crib and a stroller/car seat. If you have a baby shower, you'll get plenty of diapers, clothes and diaper changing stuff. If not, most of that is available second hand and in consignment shops.

Also until you have an idea how big the baby will be, let alone it's sex, it will be hard to buy clothes for them.

The hospital will have diapers and the like and you can take most of it home with when you leave, they charge the insurance for it all anyway. So make sure you have some stashed away at home and you'll be fine for the trip home.

Try to get the car seat fitted into the car BEFORE you go to the hospital. That way you'll not have a stressed and sleep adled brain attempting to install the seat base and adjust the car seat, etc. Hospitals rarely help with this part, so read up on it, watch videos, etc.

Amazon Prime and similar solutions are your friend. Getting out to go shopping will be more involved with the baby.

Bottom line: it's a wonderful thing and the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life, but once you hold your baby in your arms and they grab your finger, you'll never want to put them down.

Bottom line: it's a wonderful thing and the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life, but once you hold your baby in your arms and they grab your finger, you'll never want to put them down.

x10000

Good luck.

CONGRATS!

I'll try to keep my $.02 brief:

I viewed (and still do) being a Father as the most important job I'll ever have. Because of that, I kept thinking "I'm not ready...we're not ready..." - financially, specifically.

One day we woke up and realized we were in our 30's and had the "Well, it's pretty much now or never" discussion (not that some folks don't have kids way later in life, but that wasn't right for us.)

Anyway, that was in 2010...when the economy was in the tank, and we were struggling to keep our doors open at the shop.

We finally said "berkeley it. We're never going to starve. We're never going to let our kid(s) starve." And went for it.

I now have two little terroris...I mean, beautiful, amazing, hilarious, BRILLIANT little girls that I wish I'd fathered sooner.

You'll figure it out, man. I promise! You're not going to starve!

No one can possibly explain what it's like, but the adjustment comes naturally. When our first daughter was a few months old I remember turning to my wife and saying "What did we do before this?"

Life will never be the same. It will be exponentially more awesome!

Congrats again and best of luck to you and mama!

Kids are only as expensive as you make them. Don't sweat it. Enjoy the ride. Stay fit and do things together.

Lots of good advice here! Mine are now 12 and 16, and seem to have turned out OK despite my influence. Think of it as a team sport adventure, and do your best to be there for your wife and kids. Accept that it's your fault (everything) and move on ...

Definitely do as Stefan says about the car seat; I think you can stop by an FD or PD and have them look it over to make sure it's secured properly.

(Also, read thru the 'silly accomplishments your kids do' thread. Kids do some pretty amazing things, which make some of the less fun moments more worthwhile)

I had to sell my Miata to defrost the embryo that became kid #2. I cried. Tears of joy when she was born. Worth selling it.

So the price of a child is equal to one Miata. I never knew I had 4 Miatas a 89,91,01 and an 05.

My wife is preggers with number 2. I still don't feel ready. If it's anything like #1 who is currently 2 years old, it's going to be awesome more than stressful. Don't forget to enjoy it, they grow up fast.

Yeah, everything here is pretty right. The first couple months are tough just because a lack of sleep. That raises tensions so get your marriage on good footing before the babies born. One thing I wish someone would have told me is that when the kid comes out its all purple and blue and looks like complete E36 M3. I didn't know that. When I first saw it I thought something was really wrong with it. But nope, that's normal. Also on the financial side of it if money is tight, everything baby related can be bought at garage sales super cheap. For the first couple years they grow so fast that they only wears things a few times then they don't fit so buy their clothes for a quarter off the lady down the street. Oh and one last thing, there is no such thing as too many onesies. You'll go through 10 a day easy when they are newborns.

Hey...I survived. It is a lot like a bungee jump; you are scared silly once committed, terrified and elated for the duration, and then left wondering how it went by so berkeleying fast.

The good news is that you then get to do it again as a grandparent.

Nice work!

You'll be fine!

We are on month 7 of baby #1 and he has thus far not killed me nor have we run out of food. I have lost some sleep and it is a challenge but like others have said it's worth it in the end. (or at least that is what I keep telling myself when he keeps me up half the night) Seriously congrats and changing diapers will become second nature after about a week. Make sure the car seat is ready and it fits in your car before you have to. Our car seat was installed permanently in the car by 36 weeks just in case.

The best advice i can give is, you will never be ready. You can prepare, but there are so many things you just cannot prepare for, like....cleaning puke off a cat.

We got this, we have handled Amy,nitrous fogger even a biturbo or 3. Let us know what you need. Pull them belts tight and hang on,you are gonna love this ride.