The wife is preggers... I don't know if I'm ready for this.

my wife is a planner, so she planned everything around the due date the doc provided.

She ended up having to go on maternity leave early due to high blood pressure, plus our daughter was in breach position. The result? She was born 2 weeks early via c-section.

My wife was understandably unhappy about that as it wrecked her plan. Once she came to terms with it, all was well, but there was some anxiety involved.

So the point, is that things can wreck the plan you may have, but don't sweat it too much as things will generally turn out ok in the end.

It's not as hard a society makes it out to be.

It's like a roller coaster. There is a lot of up and down, but the ride is well worth the price of a ticket.

I'll just leave this here with one piece of advice.

Have Fun as a Family!! A family that plays together, stays together.

https://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/grm/the-toy-family-went-to-a-autocross/120883/page1/

Nis14 wrote: My wife is pregnant.

They make a pill for that now.

Congrats! The first step to being ready for fatherhood is admitting you're not ready and can never be ready. People will give you advice whether you want it or not, much of it terrible. You may never be rich, but you will make it work.

I'm a chronic worrier - I try to accept that most of the time things work out and the added stress isn't worth it. The stress rubs off on the whole family and just makes things worse than they need to be. It's a constant struggle with myself.

In reply to Smarta$$ McPoopyPants:

^^^^^ exactly everything this guy said. Jump in and have fun.

We weren't sure we were ready but decided if we keep waiting for the right time we would just keep waiting. Our daughter is 14 months old now. Its been amazing on so many levels.

Poopie said: No one can possibly explain what it's like, but the adjustment comes naturally. When our first daughter was a few months old I remember turning to my wife and saying "What did we do before this?" Life will never be the same. It will be exponentially more awesome!

This

It changes a lot, but never for the worse. I'll admit to having a lot less free time/money, but the time/money I DO have is way better spent (I'm doing much better quality work than before, and I'm tackling way bigger projects than before with better results.... just over more time)

Kids break you in slow and they're no sweat. Take em with you wherever you go and let em help. Before you know it they're 4 and helping you put the wheels back on your Alfa

The eldest when he was "young"

And the next garage helper in training:

It's all good times (damn good times)

For what its worth, nobody is every really ready. As the saying goes, you'll adapt and overcome. Don't worry about it too much, just do the best you can to provide and teach them the way of life. They'll be happy no matter what mistakes are made. Which means it wouldn't be mistakes, just learning exercises. Don't tell my kids I said this but they are what makes me what I am. And I'm a grandfather to a 6, 5, 4 year old and a 5 month old.

Just don't listen to every.single.mouthpiece moron that will tell you how terrible it is.

I was so prepared for my life to be hell that when my first was born it was a breeze. We're having #3 in November.

i had the same reaction, then got too have it again at 6 months when they found the second one hiding in there. nothing like going to find out the sex and finding out its twins and they just missed the first one! It gets easier and more fun to me as they get older, they do cost a E36 M3load of money!

Another totally overwhelmed and completely unprepared father to also say you'll do and be fine. It all starts small, and builds. Which is just right.

You'll do a thousand things right, make a million mistakes, be overwhelmed and over joyed. Your life will change. You'll be a dad.

No one is ever ready for it.

My first and only is currently in Sweden for a study abroad program for her senior year of college. Anyone here who knows me would NOT classify me as a responsible adult. When she was born I was making about 20k a year in my primary job and working nights making a few hundred a week to help out. My wife did not work. My kid survived, I survived, my marriage did not but that certainly was not the fault of the kid.

Point is if my dumb ass can survive it, you can survive it. Get in there and give em hell :)

"Time to sell all the toys" portion of our society needs to stfu, all they're doing is trying to force their mediocrity on everyone else in an attempt to make themselves feel better about giving up. Those people didn't need much of an excuse to cave. Thier kids'll suck too. Just keep on l-i-v-i-n, you'll teach your kids not to be narcissistic a-holes and they'll be less whiney too.

bastomatic wrote: Congrats! The first step to being ready for fatherhood is admitting you're not ready and can never be ready. People will give you advice whether you want it or not, much of it terrible. You may never be rich, but you will make it work. I'm a chronic worrier - I try to accept that most of the time things work out and the added stress isn't worth it. The stress rubs off on the whole family and just makes things worse than they need to be. It's a constant struggle with myself.

Yeah that's me in a nutshell. In first grade I use to do my homework a day in advanced because I was worried something might prevent me from doing it.

Thanks for all the advice guys. It's really making me feel less overwhelmed.

You're as ready as you'll ever be. I promise you can handle it.

Treasure your time with the bugger. Mines only 19 months old and she already seems grown up to me. I got some advice that I appreciated: "you've only got them for a little while and once they move out they're not coming back." I thought it sounded odd at the time but really 18 years is not that long. I've been married 15 and it feels like two. Before you know it she/he'll be asking to borrow the keys to the car and dating and holding up liquor stores. Enjoy the diapers and the late nights while you can.

Also catch up on movies and tv shows and work around the house because that E36 M3 is gonna grind to a halt for about two years. I think. I'll let you know when I am out of the woods here.

First of all, congrats and condolences!! Married 17 years and the father of three, including a set of twins. Honestly, there isn't a whole lot of advice to give. Best I can tell you is to love your kids and you'll be the best dad ever in their eyes. Every parent has a different style, doesn't make one necessarily better than the other, as long as you love them. You're going to make mistakes. Trust me, you will. It's part of life and part of parenting. My kids mean everything to me.

I will say that a lot of what dculberson said is right on. Get your last minute kicks in now, because it's gonna stop. And dculb, my friend, you're never out of the woods. My kids are now 12, 9, 9 and it still hasn't stopped. The boys are year round sports players and my daughter is starting to do the same. So I almost never get a free minute, and when I do, I'm so tired I just want to sleep. I give up a lot of free time to work on LeMons cars or do other things I'd want to do. But as you find out, you're all too happy to do it. My kids are everything to me, and I'd rather be there for them than any race on the planet. As much as I love running LeMons...and I do...it really is very hard to leave them for a weekend. So yeah, get your last vestiges of "no kids freedom" in now, because it changes.

And time does go by ridiculously fast. My oldest is 12. He's growing arm pit hair and now sleeping until 10am. ???? It seems like it wasn't that long ago that I was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with him.

sesto elemento wrote: "Time to sell all the toys" portion of our society needs to stfu, all they're doing is trying to force their mediocrity on everyone else in an attempt to make themselves feel better about giving up. Those people didn't need much of an excuse to cave. Thier kids'll suck too.

This is so true. Being, or close to being a new parent means you'll hear a lot of phrases like so:

"Ha! You'll never sleep again."

"Ha! There goes all your money!"

"A girl? Man, your life is over!"

"Your wife is pregnant? insert inappropriate comment about your love life!!!"

"Your life is about to change forever!!!!!" <--- this is true, but so much for the better.

"You know, they say...."

"Your baby has hair? Well, that will all fall out soon."

"Never let the baby sleep on its back"

"Never let the baby sleep on its stomach"

"Never let the baby sleep on its side"

"Gettin any sleep these days????"

"Well, now that you're a Dad you can't be doing insert fun activity here anymore."

Seriously, the diarrhea of the mouth never ends from the people that usually dislike you to begin with. Don't listen to them. As sesto said, they're trying to force their misery on you.

The two best experiences in my life were the first few moments spent holding my newborn sons in the delivery room. I was scared,worried, whatever ,just like you. It all melted away in an instant. You won't understand fully until you go through it yourself.

Hey brother I hear you, we're expecting our first in 2 weeks. I've had moments of "oh dear God, life will never be the same" I'm a worrier myself so when my wife informed me her plan was to quit her job and in about 2 months after he's born we'll figure it out, I damn near panicked. However I've managed to save a few grand for savings and the inevitable unforeseen expenses that happen with a baby. As others have said, don't buy anything until the first baby shower, you will end up with more outfits diapers and God knows what. The only big purchases I ended up making was a glider and a dresser. Yes the thought of something relying solely on me to provide is genuinely horrifying, but dammit I can't wait to meet the little man and do all of the things I did/do with my dad with him. Congrats and enjoy the ride.

On the topic of being a dad, when I was married we bought a Christmas tree ornament whenever we went somewhere new under the thought that once a year we would drag them all out and reminisce about the trip.

Post divorce, I switched to refrigerator magnets so the kids can see the richness of our time together. It's amazing how many things will slip our minds without some little keepsake.

As a father of three I only have one piece of advice: the doctors and nurses in the room are all paid very well to take care of everything from your wife's neck and down. Your job is from the neck and up. That is where you look. Don't worry about the things going on anywhere else, that's their job. Pat your wife's head with a cool cloth (if she wants to be touched at all, she'll tell you when to back off). Tell her she's doing great. Eventually someone will tell you the baby is here and you can cut the cord (if you want). Your job is then to look at the baby and your wife's face. Everything else is still someone else's job, not your problem.

I can't remember who gave me that advice years ago, but he said he was passing it on from one father to the next in hopes of preserving their chandelier swinging bedroom ways. Can confirm, three kids and 10 years later, still swinging from the chandelier.

My wife is still a little miffed that when she went into labor with our first, I immediately went to take a nap. I keep telling her that somebody has to be rested enough to handle the baby after it gets here, and it sure as hell won't be her. I still stand by my decision.

Fueled by Caffeine wrote: Being a father is the best feeling in the in the world. Enjoy. It's going to be fine.

Everyone will give you advice. EVERYONE. You'll meet a deadbeat Dad who hasn't seen his kids in a decade, drinks his life away and just got fired for meth at work, and he'll totally give you advice.

So here is my advice:

Don't argue with your wife for the next year. Pregnancy can be really really hard.

Don't fret about money. Kids make you pretty poor if you do fatherhood like you mean it. My wife stayed home after #3, but it made a lot of things better and we probably should have done that right away.

Hey, my wife is due at the end of September, and I'm not ready either!

People keep asking if I'm excited, which I am, but I'm not sure that "excited" really captures the terror adequately. Also my wife got pregnant immediately after finishing her PhD (5.5 years of misery) and before getting a job, so it could be worse!

The fact that you feel you may not be ready and are actively looking to address that tells me that you have the groundwork in place to be a good father.

cmcgregor wrote: Hey, my wife is due at the end of September, and I'm not ready either! People keep asking if I'm excited, which I am, but I'm not sure that "excited" really captures the terror adequately. Also my wife got pregnant immediately after finishing her PhD (5.5 years of misery) and before getting a job, so it could be worse!

I got that all the time before #1 and I hated that damn question.

Am I excited? I guess... I mean, I'm scared, I'm not sure what to expect, I have some slight IDEA of the type of dad I want to be, I don't know what life's going to be like after this things pops out, I mean am I even going to see another new firearm or be able to touch my car project again? Add in My wife's super hormonal and I can't cook meat in the house because she pukes, society tells me I'm supposed to sell my classic and get a Minivan... so sure, I guess that's exciting...

Kid #2: I was "excited"

Raising a kid is easy. Raising a kid in todays work environment and society is hard. Tell work and society to eff off, you've got a kid to raise.