The worse movie you've ever seen

Blair Witch was low budget genius. Some people just don't get it.

I'm pretty good at avoiding truly bad, praying-for-the-end movies. I've gotten a few turkeys on Netflix in the last few years, but blissfully forget the names of them.

There is one film, however, that my wife and I both tried to watch and agreed it was the worst waste of time we tried to endure:

Unlikable characters moving through a story that never. went. anywhere.

90% of movies containing Adam Sandler are guaranteed to suck.

90% of movies with Nicholas Cage are guaranteed to suck (and I include the puke inducing Gone In 60 Seconds remake in here).

Worst car movie ever made? That's easy:

You guys are mentioning a lot of crappy but somewhat watchable movies. You haven't seen total crap until you've watched Monster Man. I accidentally caught this on TV one night and couldn't stop watching. I wanted to but but I couldn't turn away. It had a monster truck!

When I worked concessions at a theater in the late 60s, We played Yellow Submarine. One night we only had four people in the sudience and they got up and left, cursing all the way. We refunded their money. The manager sent the film back that night.

In reply to Mazdax605:

I have not liked any of Adam Sandler movies. He and Jim Carrey are two people I just don't get.

I don't get the hate for Skyfall. I enjoyed it, and that was increased by my not having to watch it twice to try to glean some sort of a plot out of it. The previous one I've only watched twice, so I still have no idea at all what it was about.

To continue with the hate, though, a very bad movie, and the worst sequel ever has to be "The Whole Ten Yards". I liked Nine, but Ten sucked horribly.

Duke wrote: Which, *Skyfall* ? I liked that.

I know I loved Skyfall... It beat a lot of Bond movies since Connery IMHO.

Worse movie I have ever seen was MacGruber. I saw it at the dollar movie theater and I walked out half way thru. I have never been so pissed at spending a dollar...

93EXCivic wrote: I know I loved Skyfall... It beat a lot of Bond movies since Connery IMHO.

Yeah, considering it was a global blockbuster, multiple Oscar winner, and is currently at 92% on RT, I'd say that the folks who didn't like "Skyfall" are in the distinct minority.

I can't remember what it was called, but it had Benny from LA Law as a murderous inmate in an asylum.

Edit: It was this.

Will wrote: The original Vanishing Point. Bless its heart. It tries so hard to be profound, and yet it fails so very badly. And waaaaaay too many people give it a pass just because it's a "car guy movie."

Eh... The original was typical of "artsy" movies made in the 70's where the plot is somewhat vague. I swear Hollywood in the 70's was fueled by producers sitting around smoking copious amounts of weed and then funding whatever wild idea anyone came up with. For better or worse, a lot of movies from that era would never get made today.

My worst movie: Very Bad Things.

Roger Ebert pretty much nails my assessment: http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/very-bad-things-1998

The only good thing about it for me was I was with a buddy of mine who was getting paid to do trailer checks, so we saw it for free. It was so bad it actually got me into rare form where I started making "Mystery Science Theater 3000" comments and had people around me laughing.

I avoid a lot of crappy movies, but the crappiest I've ever seen in its entirety is probably Gigli (oh and I'll give "Eat, Pray, Love" an honorable mention...I've seen almost the whole awful thing).

None of Sacha Baron Cohen's movies are downright bad, but they can be pretty freakin' hard on the eyes (with cocks, mostly). Not really the same thing. I thought Bruno was hilarious actually.

I got the feeling A Million Ways to Die in the West would be a let-down, but holy hell you make it sound ULTRA bad. So bad I kind of want to see it out of morbid curiosity.

Claff wrote: No movie has angered me in its total and complete pointlessness more than this one.

I pretty much hate everything Oliver Stone has ever done, especially since he's considered such an artiste. But you're right, NBK was so seizure-inducing and annoyingly shot that I got a physical headache watching 10 minutes of it. I wanted to reach right through the screen and strangle [edit] Juliette Lewis [/edit], and then use her lifeless body to beat Woody Harrelson to death. I even liked Woody Harrelson, and it took me 10 years to forgive him for being in this movie.

GameboyRMH wrote: So bad I kind of want to see it out of morbid curiosity.

Yeah.

ddavidv wrote: Worst car movie ever made? That's easy:

I absolutely love this movie. I watch it about twice a month.

I'd both of the gone in 60 seconds ahead of two lane black top for worst car movie of all time.

Woody wrote: *Bad Santa* is the only movie that I ever walked out on... and I even saw *Ishtar* in a theater.

I liked Ishtar. I was young, maybe 12 or so, and it was kinda funny.. good enough for me I guess. I haven't re-watched it since growing up, and probably never will.

The worst move I've seen without actually trying to be bad (ie, Megashark Vs Giant Octopus) was Something About Mary. We sat through the whole thing and then when leaving my friend turns to me and says "that movie was duuuuuuuumb" which - for whatever reason - struck me as funnier than any joke in the movie. So at least we got one good long laugh out of the experience.

Seven Psychopaths.

nicksta43 wrote:

ddavidv wrote: Worst car movie ever made? That's easy:

I absolutely love this movie. I watch it about twice a month. I'd both of the gone in 60 seconds ahead of two lane black top for worst car movie of all time.

You are so right. Two-Lane Blacktop is awesome.

Speaking of bad car guy movies though .. I forgot about a big disappointment. I ordered Vanishing Point off eBay and ended up with - you guessed it -- or maybe you didn't - the made for TV remake starring Vigo Mortensen. Wow that was HORRIBLE. The original Vanishing Point is redeemed by cool scenery. The remake didn't even have that, and it tried to tie it all together with a noble plot and everything. It was awful. But made for TV movies probably don't count in this discussion.

Also, Natural Born Killers was a great movie. Woody Harrelson broke out of his typecast vacuous "nice guy" roles with it and did an amazing job. Casting Rodney Dangerfield as the disgusting child molesting dad was also amazing, and he did a suitably stomach turning job in the role. @Duke, Julianne Moore was not in it. You're thinking of Juliette Lewis.

Okay, a couple of good picks here.

I will add my worst. Fear and loathing in Las Vegas.

I was not wasted enough to understand it. I still don't understand it.

Very bad things is right up there.

Close call:

Flash Gordon

or

Buckaroo Banzai.

When I die I'm going to ask for another three hours, I deserve that.

kung pow: enter the fist
I realize that they were trying to be campy, but the joke was old after 90 seconds. after 90 minutes my eyes and brain had melted.

I forgive low budget bad movies, they sometimes succeed and sometimes fail but the expectation is low. The Blair Witch Project falls into this catagory, it sucked and made me dizzy but it was cheap.

For a big budget big name move "The Thin Red Line" stands out as one that I'll always remember it's sheer suckyness. I like war movies but this one was without merit of any kind.

Still pisses me off that I paid money to see it at the theater!

Listed movies I enjoyed; A Million Ways to Die in the West, Skyfall, Blair Witch Project, Vanishing Point, Yellow Submarine, Napoleon Dynamite, Kung Pow Enter the Fist, and Conan.

Back on topic, an honorable mention goes to Cursed(2005 Christina Ricci, Jesse Isenberg, Joshua Jackson as werewolfs)

As far as movies that left me saying "berkeley this E36 M3" and stop watching after 1-3 minutes have been the Twilight and Fast/Furious franchises.

Hmmmm.... I am thinking some of the choices here are movies that are not really meant to be taken in any kind of seriousness. The above Flash Gordon and Buckaroo Banzai I think are an example of that. To me, it's like someone saying they hated Raising Arizona because it was stupid and pointless....

If you want to see another example of that, try Nicolas Cage's Drive Angry. Now, it's clearly a BAD movie, but it really seems fully aware of that.

To me, a truly bad movie is one that is not just low budget (pretty much guarantees some sort of bad) and does take itself seriously. I think RIPD is an example of this, lots of money and big stars to create crap. I have to say, that last Fast and Furious was pretty close also (some of the stunts were just full on CGI stupid). I am hoping the next one, considering the situation, will be a lot better.

Very Bad Things was indeed, well, bad. Christian Slater, much as I'm kind of amused by him, wears out his welcome pretty quickly. He's also been in some truly awful movies.

Here's some stuff I wrote from a similar thread on a different forum, a number of years ago:

I'll leave out movies that are intentionally bad (camp has its place), and I'll try to include some from each genre. I will also try to stick with movies that were truly popular or made a splash at their time, and were truly intended to be good, well-made movies. I hate musicals and any movie versions of stage productions (except RHPS), so they're automatically ALL the worst movies ever made. Except for Michael Moore - he's the worst of the worst. What makes a movie truly one of the Worst Films of All Time is when they actually set out to make a good movie and just fail miserably in writing, direction, and production.

The Howling - stupid stupid dialog, absolutlely hack plotline, lame SF/X, zero suspense or even startles, and the end? Where the heroine turns into a cute fluffy werewolf on national TV before killing herself? Wallows in lameness. And people actually thought this was scary?

Black Knight - Even considering that Martin Lawrence is about as funny as a whoopee cushion, this movie just sucked. From the poop jokes to the medieval booty call, it was stupid stupid stupid and just plain NOT FUNNY. I thought blaxploitation films went out in 1974 - I guess it's supposed to be OK if they make them themselves?

The Matrix series - Heresy, I know. The first one is marginally acceptable, and dines out on the visual innovation it ptioneered - except for the incredibly stupid premise that human beings can somehow be used to generate power. A naked human being can't even keep itself warm below about 20 degrees C, let alone generate massive quantities of energy. And that's with 2500 calories a day in food that has to come from somewhere... The others were as stupidly based as the first, but with the coolness factor long since worn off.

Maid In Manhattan - actually, this is representing anything Jennifer Lopez has ever been in, with the possible exception of the one where she trains to kill her abusive ex-husband. I would put Gigli on the list here but all I saw was the trailers. Even if you think she's hot (bleagh, I sure don't), there's no possible way that anybody could ever think she can act.

Any non-Pixar Disney movie - animated or not, Disney never met a fairy tale they couldn't screw up or a lame plot device they couldn't recycle. Stupid dialog, whiny characters, trite plots - nothing like enshrining and worshipping mediocrity.

Dishonorable Mention: Scooby Doo I & II - Even allowing for the nostalgic tint of aging baby-boomers' rose-colored glasses, the original Scooby Doo cartoons were insultingly stupid, and I was 6 bloody years old at the time! Spending millions on a live-action version is nearly unforgiveable, no matter how well-done they might have been.

Natural Born Killers - Execrable. Horrid. Quite possibly the single worst, most pretentious, most over-wrought, annoyingly-filmed, inanely-written, woodenly-yet-somehow-over-acted, terrible movie ever made. From the smug 'social commentary' to the vertiginous camera angles to the seizure-inducing instant flashbacks, this movie stunk.

Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - 1978 at its worst, and that's saying something. Even if you look a this film as nothing but an excuse to do a lot of over-the-top Beatles covers, this movie still sucks. As much plot as your average Bing Crosby movie, except everything is 10 times fluffier and more irritating, because it was made in the late '70s. I bet Aerosmith and Alice Cooper are both ashamed they were in it, even if they were the evil antagonists. I mean, Peter Frampton! The Bee Gees! In stupid satin marching band uniforms! What could be worse?!

Face Off. Waterworld.