Today I turned 50!

Nothing like a bunch of dudes in their 50s talking about the tightness of their asses, or lack thereof.

Been mail-attacked by AARP yet? I received the application for life insurance, car insurance, medical insurance (not old enough yet!), and home-owners all in one day in different envelopes three months before my 50th. I did join. And I have saved through the travel and dinning out discounts. Also, a retail outlet megacenter offers AARP members up to %40 off on certain days at certain times of the years. Reebok being one of them. Some of the discounts, however, dictate you have to be 62; however, for what I've saved on airline tickets and a rental car, it's worth it. They will, however, ask you contantly to resubscribe, so be aware of when you subscribed.

(That said, it does make one confront one's own demise from time to time: "One Last Tip, How to Provide For Your Spouse When Your Gone" was cover-blurbed on their latest magapaper.)

50 was a shocker of a bit, and the relatives had lots of fun...it was the following birthday that really got to me, "Now I'm IN my 50s."

AARP == Evil MegaCorp. Look it up. They had to spin it off of the insurance giant that started it so it would look better. Also Anti-Second Amendment. Geezers should be disarmed so the youth will have a easier time killing them, according to the AARP.

Take your AARP business reply envelopes and put their junk advertisements sans-your-name back in and mail it back to them. They must want their crap back or they wouldn't have mailed you that envelope, right? Write on the junk mail "I support the 2nd Amendment. Do you?"

D. Hess: I enjoyed saving the monies on the airline tickets, eating out, rental car, and shoes, amongst other stuff. Yes, I'm aware they do some shady stuff with the insurance companies, which is why I have none of their insurance junk.

As with everything, one has to be selective and do some homework.

This will be scope #2 so I know what's involved. And colon cancer runs in the wife's family, so avoidance is not an option. People tell me I'm anal retentive, so I guess it's true.

Already got my labs back.....I haz cholesterol. So I guess I have to cut back on the bacon.

Brotus7 wrote: Well, you're more than twice my age. I turned 25 today Enough with the butt talk you old guys....

Young pup!

You'll see, after you pass 40, you talk about bowel movements as much as politics.

Otto Maddox wrote: Nothing like a bunch of dudes in their 50s talking about the tightness of their asses, or lack thereof.

There's only one tight, fifty-year-old bottom worth admiration on this thread.

carguy123 wrote: DON'T DO IT UNLESS YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS! A colonoscopy ruins your bunghole. They put you to sleep so they can be anything but gentle with you. They destroy the muscle tissue. It truly changes your life. You will never casually just go to the bathroom again. It will become an event that you have to work around. It can take hours to recover afterwards. I have friends who can no longer take a dump sitting down. They have to stand up because otherwise their insides want to push out. You definitely won't be able to take a magazine to the bathroom ever again! I'm not talking hemorrhoids or at least the traditional hemorrhoid. This is much worse. It's like when all the elastic goes out of your socks. They warn you about this in the most general way. Kinda like saying "you'll feel a little prick". (hey, you never know what goes on while you're asleep on the table) Afterwards when you ask why they didn't tell you they'll say "But we did, we said you might experience some discomfort when you go to the bathroom."

Umm..

If your doctor used one of these:

That might explain the problem.

Those Tijuana colonoscopies can be rough.

4eyes wrote:

Brotus7 wrote: Well, you're more than twice my age. I turned 25 today Enough with the butt talk you old guys....

Young pup! You'll see, after you pass 40, you talk about bowel movements as much as politics.

Must be a guy thing. None of the women I know talk about their bungholes.

turn 50, buy a canoe

So... Hows your butt feel?