Raze
Dork
3/9/11 2:05 p.m.
bravenrace wrote:
After reading that last paragraph, I did a quick survey just for kicks. The average age of people making negative comments in this thread is 24. The average for positive comments is 41.
I wonder why...
I'm in the middle of your age range, and don't have children yet, but given the choices my parents made, and the choices I made despite them (or in spite of), and how lucky I am to still be alive, I have to say at least tracking the car is a damn good idea, after all it's YOUR property, despite the oppression the youngins feel toward you monitoring your kids . Now if only that tracking device would tell you if the car were airborne
and to everyone saying 'the kids will just get in their friends car and outsmart you', you do realize that until that kid is on his own insurance / not a legal dependent of the parent if hoonage occurs and someone gets injured or killed, the parents of said child can be held liable. That's something most 'kids' don't think about in the real world. You tell them it's there, and maybe, just maybe they'll learn to be more cautious before getting in their friends car to go hog wild...
JThw8
SuperDork
3/9/11 2:14 p.m.
Im not going to rehash alot of what was said other than I applaud the OPs efforts to be a responsible parent.
Trust or no trust kids need to be monitored.
There was no monitoring when I was a kid. I went places and did things that I should have never done. I turned out all right. Does that mean that monitoring is useless? Absolutely not. It means I got lucky. I turned out all right in the long run because I had parents who were involved and who steered me in the right direction when I got off course.
I have friends who are paying the price for their kids actions. As much as the young'ns want to believe its not their parents problem as long as you are under 18 and in their house it is very much their problem and they are legally responsible for you. That means they pay for your screw ups. They have every right to track you and watch over you. And some day you'll be thankful for it.
And while not as technologically advanced in all cases, you are NOT smarter than your parents. The fact that you believe you are only proves the point. Its a lesson we all learn the hard way :)
alot of people seem to get the impression that this is about controlling your kids.
i don't think that at all. But I also don't think that if you have simple tools available to you to monitor their behavior and adjust your parenting accordingly, you're irresponsibly uninvolved.
I think one of the key jobs of a parent is to give the correct moral context to a kid as they make choices in life, so they understand the consequences of making choices. Since there isn't one single way to do this for all childrens' personalities, it a proces that requires constant tweaking as you go.
While it's true you can't completely control your kids when they are out of your sight, you can build into them the moral compass and the fear of God that doesn't allow them to go far over the lines you set in the sand.
I knew my kids would cross that line so I set that line in such a spot that I didn't believe they'd get killed or suffer too much harm by crossing it. In other words I set the line a little bit inside of what I felt was acceptable behavior. That allowed them to feel like a rebel by crossing the line and me to feel safe.
That reminds me of an inappropriate joke I heard when I was a kid.
2 bad guys came upon a couple parking and they decided to have their way with the girl. They beat the guy up and told him to stand right by the car in a box they'd drawn in the dirt .while they had their way with his girlfriend. They told him to just stand there and watch and if he got outside that box they'd beat him up even worse.
While they were having their way with his girl they kept looking at him and instead of appearing to be worried or mad he was always smiling. After they were through they went over to him and asked why he was smiling and why wasn't her crying or mad? He said cause I've been outside the box over a dozen times.
I must admit I'm a tad disappointed in the group on this one.
Don't we GRMers normally brag over how we are the universal enablers?
If the OP had asked how to put a BBC in the back of a Yugo, there'd be 24 suggestions how, 4 who were thinking through the details, 8 supporters and 2 who HAD done it already. Nay-sayers would number 2-3 max. ...and they'd be shunned as heretics.
Why is this any different? OP asked a tech question. Whether we agree with his reasons or not is irrelevent.
...and now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
In reply to dimarra:
Hey, someone gets it! Thanks, dimarra.
JThw8 wrote:
Im not going to rehash alot of what was said other than I applaud the OPs efforts to be a responsible parent.
Trust or no trust kids need to be monitored.
There was no monitoring when I was a kid. I went places and did things that I should have never done. I turned out all right. Does that mean that monitoring is useless? Absolutely not. It means I got lucky. I turned out all right in the long run because I had parents who were involved and who steered me in the right direction when I got off course.
I have friends who are paying the price for their kids actions. As much as the young'ns want to believe its not their parents problem as long as you are under 18 and in their house it is very much their problem and they are legally responsible for you. That means they pay for your screw ups. They have every right to track you and watch over you. And some day you'll be thankful for it.
And while not as technologically advanced in all cases, you are NOT smarter than your parents. The fact that you believe you are only proves the point. Its a lesson we all learn the hard way :)
This post, beside that avatar, made me laugh.
The juxtaposition of the image and the advice made me giggle a little, too.
bravenrace wrote:
In reply to DILYSI Dave:
I'm curious. Why?
The message "I turned out alright" along side someone cutting "I'm Fine" into their forearm just tickled my funny bone.
DILYSI Dave wrote:
bravenrace wrote:
In reply to DILYSI Dave:
I'm curious. Why?
The message "I turned out alright" along side someone cutting "I'm Fine" into their forearm just tickled my funny bone.
Ah, I get it now. There were actually several lines in that reply that if taken a certain way might make someone chukle.
carguy123 wrote:
I knew my kids would cross that line so I set that line in such a spot that I didn't believe they'd get killed or suffer too much harm by crossing it. In other words I set the line a little bit inside of what I felt was acceptable behavior. That allowed them to feel like a rebel by crossing the line and me to feel safe.
^Truth.^
I'm 50, just for reference, and have daughters age 20 and 16. I think if you haven't instilled a sense of right and wrong, and a fear of consequences, in your kids by about age 10, from there on you're screwed. My kids both have cars, I've taught them as best I can that everyone else on the road is dumb as a post, and no matter how the accident happened, its at least partly your fault because proper habits allow you to survive other peoples stupidity.
I worry, but don't monitor, nor do I intend to. I also lead by example. If only I could get my wife to believe the stuff my kids do....
Streetwiseguy wrote:
I'm 50, just for reference, and have daughters age 20 and 16.
Woah woah woah woah woah... your telling me you have daughters and I haven't met them yet? We've talked at least once at Race City I am sure...
JThw8
SuperDork
3/10/11 5:53 p.m.
bravenrace wrote:
DILYSI Dave wrote:
bravenrace wrote:
In reply to DILYSI Dave:
I'm curious. Why?
The message "I turned out alright" along side someone cutting "I'm Fine" into their forearm just tickled my funny bone.
Ah, I get it now. There were actually several lines in that reply that if taken a certain way might make someone chukle.
Dammit, am I causing inadvertent chuckles again?
Where I grew up everyone in town knew you and they all knew your parents phone number. If I drove crazy, dad knew about it before I got home. Towns aren't as small and close knit as they used to be, but there are programs that allow the citizens to inform parents if teenagers aren't practicing safe driving habits.
www.telladad.com
is one program that might help save a life.
I'm with Bravenrace on this one. It's MY van, MY insurance, MY liability, and they're MY sons. While there may be some negative consequences to tracking your kids, in terms of trust, those consequences all beat a funeral. Preaching done !
Now go buy a fish finder/tracker at Bass Pro Shops and leave it in the trunk to see where it goes ! For the record, I have no idea if it will work !
silly canoes. also i would be furious if my parents tried to track me, im not the one who fell into a ditch this past winter...
also when it comes to ones own kids, no one seems to advocate for nature and smarts getting rid of the dumb people.
bravenrace wrote:
I should have known better than to think I could ask a question and actually get an answer without people thinking they know better than me how to raise my kids. You should know better than to get mad when someone shares their opinion on the internet. But I actually thought that here of all places that I could. Will anyone actually answer my berkeleying questions without a moral judgement or insulting me or my kids? No one is insulting you or your kids, you just seem to take stuff WAY to personally. Who do you think knows my situation better, you or me? I guess I have to offer information that shouldn't be necessary to get a quesiton like this answered.
FOR THE RECORD - They are both straight A students and prodegy musicians (seriously), they are heavily involved in our church, they take a trip every summer to build houses for poor people in Kentucky, they are both mature, responsible kids that respect their parents, but together they are oil and water. They have been driving off road go karts since the age of 5, they built and autocross a 100cc Yamaha sprint kart, they just graduated from this driving school, and also attended their winter driving school. This summer they will take the Mid-Ohio school teen course. They are good kids, and so was I. They sound like fantastic kids, congratulations.
But I was dangerous on the road, not because I didn't have the training or the correct upbringing. It was because I had this serious need for speed that over-ruled my rational thinking. I'm betting you didn't get enough track time as a kid. I don't think I'm the only one that suffered from this either. Trust is earned. Just because I trust my kids in every other way doesn't mean I'm going to just assume that I can trust them with a vehicle when I'm not there, a vehicle that can KILL them. Any one of you that thinks you can IMO is foolish. If you don't trust your kids with a vehicle (your own words here) then DON'T. Period.
I DO own the car that they will be driving, and I also pay the insurance on that vehicle. Insurance for two good 16 year olds is high enough. If one of them gets a ticket or gets in an accident, my insurance will sky rocket. They are capable of paying for the increase if they are the reason your insurance rates go up.
I also mentioned previously that while both of my kids are great, they don't get along all that well. They don't fight in the car, but do fight at home. So am I supposed to assume that they won't fight in the car when I'm not there, creating a major distraction for the one whos driving? Could I forgive myself if I did and they ended up dead? I'm not going to take that chance. Don't let them ride together.
It's so easy for people on the internet to offer these simple and often stupid solutions to someone they don't even know. I shouldn't have to give a complete history of my family to get an answer to a simple question. All I wanted was some feeback on tracking devices, why do you feel a need to give me parenting advice instead? Sorry to those of you who didn't particpate in any of this, I'm not talking to you. But please keep your responses to information about tracking devices, or don't post at all, k? Sorry the discussion isn't going exactly the way you want. Just consider it training for future discussions you will have with your kids.
Oh, and Tommy, I'm not too good with technology? I'm a mechanical engineer and amongst other things design automatic electronic controls for HVAC systems. I also run a fairly technical testing lab. I just don't happen to have experience with using cell phones for tracking purposes, because I use my cell phone for, you know, calling people. So since you obviously pegged me wrong, how much do you really think you know about raising MY kids? Rant off. I don't think Tommy pegged you wrong. There is this thing called the internet and it's great for finding out information about technology that you don't personally own or use. If you don't have a cell phone with the capabilities of another, google it and find out more. You've got all this technological skill and you can't even research a smart phone? No, it's much easier to just rant on.
A lot of people here have offered insight and some opinion on both sides of the argument. It will always serve you well to be open minded and willing to listen to advice that differs from what you anticipated or wanted. You never know where the next bit of wisdom may come from.
Peace.
In reply to EastCoastMojo:
Dude, this thread is over a year old.
JoeyM
SuperDork
6/5/12 8:57 a.m.
bravenrace wrote:
In reply to EastCoastMojo:
Dude, this thread is over a year old.
yup. resurrected by a canoe. They're no longer floating.
If you're worried about your kid's safety behind the wheel, there's a lot more proactive ways to keep them save. Don't let them drive late at night, in bad weather, on two lane country roads or with more than one friend in the car.
Going to a party? Here is a credit card. You may use it to pay for a cab any time. No questions asked. If you use it for anything else, I'll kill you.