Well- I've done it now.

slantvaliant wrote: You can be yourself and be a dad. It helps to incorporate some of what you like into the things they need. Example: Reading to kids. Yes, you need to read "The Foot Book" and the like to them. Even when they aren't even housebroken, reading helps them. But there's no reason you can't read GRM, CM, or (insert your favorite magazine/newspaper/blogs aloud to them). You might want to edit some of the more colorful language from your "alternative" reading material. You're now a crew chief and logistician. Enjoy the promotion.

I do not have children, but I do have 2 nieces. I have had them spellbound reading GRM, Roadracing World, Fur-Fish-Game, etc. They still enjoy looking at my magazines much to my delight.

5 kids.

You will one day look back at this moment and get a wonderful laugh. Surpassed only by the joy you will get looking forward at your family, your future, your children's potential, and the wonder of it all.

Congratulations!

ReverendDexter wrote: The joke around the house is that he's doing more and more "human things", and those are awesome.

Ha! Tim and I compared our son to the family cat for the longest time (sorry, Tommy). We eventually figured out that cats are basically 2-year-olds in abilities, willfulness and temper--and were pretty impressed the day we realized our son had surpassed the cat in those areas (again, sorry, son). However, the babies had it over the cat in our affections from oh, I dunno... being honest?... day 7 or 8 max. Just kidding! (Had to write that last in case my cat reads this.)

Rev. Dexter is right, it is NOT all puppies and rainbows from the start, and you will spend the first week or even weeks reeling around your house as if shell-shocked. Multiply that by a bazillion if you're the mom, because you will be shell-shocked physically as well, not least by the bomb that went off in your pants. But one day, if you keep your sense of humor, and don't try too hard to quash every thought that makes you you instead of the "parent" person you imagined you must become, you'll find that the world has returned to its axis with a bonus human you really, really like. And because of this extreme affection, you will set about quite naturally trying to do everything you need to do for this person.

In the meantime, trust that the day is coming when the world DOES return to its axis, understand that you'll be there when it does, and it'll be all right.

Margie

Can I just say, I love this place. Ask about anything not car related and you usually get the most levelheaded and insightful opinions you could expect anywhere. Ask about anything with wheels and its like soliciting drink selection advice at the national AA Bartenders convention, but everything else is sound.

mndsm, Margie's right. Before I had a kid, I was a kid hater. I used to hear my friends say, "oh, it's different when it's yours!". I thought they meant that everything would be sunshine & butterflies just because it was mine. I was wrong. It's really very difficult to describe. There's a very heavy sense of responsibility...but tempered with some sort of very primal satisfaction. Yes, it's tough (and I can't lie..adolescence will be even tougher than infancy!), but in the end it's so wonderfully rewarding. You'll think about the world in a different way.

To this day, when a young couple apologizes to me for the noise their kid made in a restaurant, I just tell them that I'm a parent as well..and that if the kid's voice isn't one that I recognize, that I don't really hear it anymore.

Margie and Corrado are totally right. I think congratulations are in order!

As a father of two boys (14 and 10-err...11 as of today. Happy birthday Ivan!) I've got to say kids have improved my life immensely. The first was a surprise, but the second was planned. Living for someone else is a powerful motivator. Without them to keep me focused, I don't think I like where my life would be.

I don't think I ever stopped being me. Still playing with cars, still play xbox (though far less frequently), still getting tattoos, all of it.

Other than being really frigging expensive, parenthood is awesome.

Tom Heath wrote: Margie and Corrado are totally right. I think congratulations are in order! As a father of two boys (14 and 10-err...11 as of today. Happy birthday Ivan!) I've got to say kids have improved my life immensely. The first was a surprise, but the second was planned. Living for someone else is a powerful motivator. Without them to keep me focused, I don't think I like where my life would be. I don't think I ever stopped being me. Still playing with cars, still play xbox (though far less frequently), still getting tattoos, all of it. Other than being really frigging expensive, parenthood is awesome.

Only reason I had to quit racing was that my kid was an unplanned event..with a woman I really didn't know very well. The kid wasn't the reason I cut back on my hobbies..the divorce was. I loved my kid, so I actually paid my child support (Georgia law said 23% of your gross income back in the 90s.). If you actually love that woman, and you're going to continue to go through life together, you shouldn't have that problem. Enjoy this.

ReverendDexter wrote: You don't realize how badly sleep deprivation affects your overall mood and tolerance until you're 2 weeks in to never getting more than 6 hours of sleep per night, and usually not all in one go.

Sounds like my past semester at college. This past week since I've been home has been so good to my mental health that it is hard for me to comprehend.

Nothing to add other than congratulations and good luck.

mtn wrote:

ReverendDexter wrote: You don't realize how badly sleep deprivation affects your overall mood and tolerance until you're 2 weeks in to never getting more than 6 hours of sleep per night, and usually not all in one go.

Sounds like my past semester at college. This past week since I've been home has been so good to my mental health that it is hard for me to comprehend. Nothing to add other than congratulations and good luck.

Double that. No kids here, but final papers in grad school only ended 2 days ago for me. Those last few weeks my sleep schedule was screwed completely, and I found myself being irritable to my fiance when there was no reason. I seriously can't imagine a happier time than being with her. I get more satisfaction from one smile of hers than all the times i've heard the 9000rpm beep from my rx8 combined times a billion. I could be driving a free 787B down the autobahn with no traffic, to go pick up my billion dollar lottery winnings, and I would still be thinking "I wish I was with Sarah" and here I was being a total tool, saying things in a harsh manner, being overall unhappy to be interrupted, etc... I had to make a conscious effort to be my normal, far too layed back self. I would imagine it is that times a jillion with children, because papers end.

Now if only the insomnia would end...And for the record, we want kids. Not right away after the wedding in may, but before we're 30. This thread was good readin for the future!

Also slightly more on topic, a mentor type guy of mine back in college (and father of 5) said when his kids were born, he didn't get the dam-bursting rush of loving attatchment right away like his wife did, and that it took more like a few months for the connection to grow. His children are supremely important to him, it just took time. He said he talked to alot of his guy friends about it and reached the conclusion that every man's initial experience is different, but that they all ended up loving and valueing their children above all else, far above themselves, without even trying. It's like an automatic thing.

Rufledt wrote: Also slightly more on topic, a mentor type guy of mine back in college (and father of 5) said when his kids were born, he didn't get the dam-bursting rush of loving attatchment right away like his wife did, and that it took more like a few months for the connection to grow.

+eleventybillion on this. Don't feel bad if you don't immediately go all gushy and sideways when the kid pops. Your wife will get a huge dump of hormones that all but force her to feel that way... you don't.

I'll echo many of the above sentiments. Being a parent is hard work but more rewarding than almost anything else. When your child says "I love you daddy", your heart will explode with joy period. You will also find out that you would fight Ray Lewis naked in a bucket of broken glass anytime anyone messes with your child...and your wife would magnify that to a million....as an aside, I say turn over any pedophile to 10 mommies and that solves that problem quickly. All of us are selfish but your life and hobbies just get a little rearranged is all.

mtn wrote:

ReverendDexter wrote: You don't realize how badly sleep deprivation affects your overall mood and tolerance until you're 2 weeks in to never getting more than 6 hours of sleep per night, and usually not all in one go.

Sounds like my past semester at college. This past week since I've been home has been so good to my mental health that it is hard for me to comprehend. Nothing to add other than congratulations and good luck.

I am still recovering from this past semester.

But to the OP, good luck and congratulations.

My brother felt the same way you did, BEFORE his daughter arrived. Now he all but lives for her. He's also (still) not what you would call ideal Dad material (until recently he was in the Air Force Reserves and flew out of the country A LOT, and could never tell us where to) but his daughter is great. My folks (her grandparents) are VERY proud of the way she has turned out (and they aren't easily impressed) and always look forward to her visits...something they don't do with their other grandchildren.

The "kicker"? My brother will soon be a Dad again. The second one is arriving 16 YEARS after the first. At the age of 49 he will be waiting in the maternity ward for the "happy event".

Hmmm, seems like a lot of folks on here are parents and are still on here and doing fun stuff. Maybe being a parent isn't the end of the world. It is an adjustment.

I have 3. All have finally flown the coop. It's nice to be me again instead of DAD. There is a difference.

It's taken a while for the kids to adjust, but it only took us about 2 weeks to realize all we had to worry about was what we wanted to do.

No kids for the wife and I.

We do borrow our friends children every now and then. When we've had enough, they get filled with coffee ice cream and sent back to mom and dad.

Ya know, they know what causes that now....and even make a pill for it. Kids are great....especially when they are someone elses.
Parenting came as a suprise to me to when I was really too young for it. He's 34 now and has made me a grandfather, which is more fun. Also have 2 daughter, 28 & 24. The youngest autocrosses with me. It can be a bit trying at first but it gets easier and you'll know what to do when the next one comes along. Fun whatching them grow up and learn although watching them do it the hard way or make the same mistake as you can be trying. It's still nice to be able to share your life with the next generation.

First couple of months are awfully tough. It is worth it though.

Make sure you have a small phillips screwdriver and a pair of wire clippers when Christmas comes around. The darn toys are tough to separate from their packaging without them.