In reply to RX Reven' :
"once you bring someone into existence, you’re committed until they’re a competent adult"
Edit - you SHOULD BE...
Some parents didn't get that memo.
In reply to RX Reven' :
"once you bring someone into existence, you’re committed until they’re a competent adult"
Edit - you SHOULD BE...
Some parents didn't get that memo.
Patrick (Forum Supporter) said:My sister in law wanted a bunch of kids now they're just an inconvenience and she wants them gone as manu hours a day as they can be. Prettt sure she wanted little trophies to parade around to everyone, my neice is basically her dancing monkey. "Sing for x, dance for y, show them how good you are at z"
stop having kids if you don't want them, people.
I've known people like this, who seem to reat their kids like pets: Awesome at first, and then annoying after a couple years. Problem is, you can't just give away a kid and get a fresh one for that new-kid experience. I could write stories for hours. The best part is when I'd say I didn't want kids and was told (by someone with three young kids from two fathers) that I was being so selfish and that I really should change my mind.
I always saw the creation and rearing of a new human as to be a mind-bogglingly serious thing, that needs to be undertaken with the highest amount of responsibility, and can't fathom that level of carelessness.
Duke said:WonkoTheSane (Forum Supporter) said:Marjorie Suddard said:(The answer to that is probably "a lot, and they're doing the best they know how.")Margie
Thumbs up for this alone, and it applies to everyone :) It really should be one's default response.
If the parents were doing literally anything other than going on vacation, I would have a lot easier time offering that response.
"The best that they know how" can also be a thinly veiled insult, you know 
In reply to Pete. (l33t FS) :
I never really got hasseled much about not wanting kids. I guess folks knew me well enough!
Pete. (l33t FS) said:Patrick (Forum Supporter) said:My sister in law wanted a bunch of kids now they're just an inconvenience and she wants them gone as manu hours a day as they can be. Prettt sure she wanted little trophies to parade around to everyone, my neice is basically her dancing monkey. "Sing for x, dance for y, show them how good you are at z"
stop having kids if you don't want them, people.
I've known people like this, who seem to reat their kids like pets: Awesome at first, and then annoying after a couple years. Problem is, you can't just give away a kid and get a fresh one for that new-kid experience. I could write stories for hours. The best part is when I'd say I didn't want kids and was told (by someone with three young kids from two fathers) that I was being so selfish and that I really should change my mind.
I always saw the creation and rearing of a new human as to be a mind-bogglingly serious thing, that needs to be undertaken with the highest amount of responsibility, and can't fathom that level of carelessness.
We have several friends that dont have kids for similar reasons. Sadly the ones with the responsibility to make that decision would make the best parents. Meanwhile the couples that suck at parenting spew them out by the 6 pack.
In reply to Toyman01 (Moderately Supportive Dude) :
Have you seen the horror documentary “Idocracy” with Luke Wilson?
I was a very mature independent youth and if I was able to keep a car on campus as a freshman I certainly wouldn't have had my parents make the trip (100 miles each way). However they drove me up with a suitcase and a backpack. I hitch hiked home regularly to work on the weekends, tried the bus once but that took waaaaay too long. Hitching took about 15 minutes longer than driving once I learned the ropes of hitching long distances.
At a very young age (maybe 10-12) I said I'd never father kids of my own. Parents and everyone else said I'd change my mind. Nope, there's too many people in the world already. Made sure every woman I got involved with knew my feelings up front and doubled down with wives before marriage.
2nd wife had two kids in 4th and 5th grade when they moved in and they turned out as great kids/people who have their own families now. I tried to get them both to go away to college for the experience but neither wanted to so they went to local community colleges.
Took in a female friend of my step daughters when they were young teenagers. The friends father was a low life scumbag and had put her through things best not even mentioned here so she ran away from home and was sleeping in a cemetery and eating at a local church. She'd been thrown out of school more than once for missing too many days. I told her you can not live here unless you're attending school. Went to the school explained that she'd be living with us (child services was involved) and pleaded her case promising to make sure she attended every day by personally dropping her off and told them I would not provide a place for her to live unless she was allowed back to school.. After schooling she got out of town through a church system, moved to Cape Cod. Last time I saw her was at her wedding.
After my last divorce I took in a couple late teen guys at different times who were having problems with their single moms (with agreement by the moms that both child & mom would be better off). They'd stay a while learn a bit about adulting, get jobs and move on.
Took in a late teen female after I'd bought a home in FL. She'd run away from home a couple years earlier because of an abusive stepfather, was trying to kick a drug habit, and needed a place away from the old crowd to start fresh. I let her live in my FL house for free (by herself, no parties) for a long time with the instructions. "keep it clean, mow the lawn, get a job, get your GED". She was able to get straightened out save enough to get on with life and now in her mid-30's owns a landscaping company up in GA.
Every child is different and has different limiting factors or opportunities as they age. I've always said the biggest problem is that the more intelligent members of our society have few children while the stupid people multiply like rabbits.
In reply to NOT A TA :
Internet high five.
I always used to joke that I didn't want kids, I'd adopt a poor college student when I was old enough. Looks like you've done that a few times over.
Just a thought,
Consider the kid was the reason
Many things led up to it, I suffered some severe abuse from at least kindergarten that I can remember (Air Force life, I can figure ages based on where we lived) and we refer to my standing up to it as "the great rebellion of '86" amongst us siblings as I defended them as well, but my parents got mad and kicked me out at 17. At that point both of my parents had sent me to the ER, and they both had been there because of me. They later claimed they were bluffing, but I did just that, I'd had enough and bailed, working 2 jobs to pay rent and continuing high school to completion.
You never know a person's life experiences, no clue about their childhood
I would never, ever go on vacation while my minor child packed and moved off to college unless they just absolutely refused my help, and even then I'd still be around somewhere
03Panther said:In reply to RX Reven' :
"once you bring someone into existence, you’re committed until they’re a competent adult"
Edit - you SHOULD BE...
Some parents didn't get that memo.
Hi O3Panther,
When I saw your reply with my "you're" bolded, I thought you were reprimanding me for spelling it as "your".
Friday evening so...
Drink some wine, make a post - drink some wine, make a post - next thing you know, you're spelling "you're as "your". 
I didn't even read your second line, instead, I raced back to my post to see what other dumb stuff I may have buzz posted.
Hahaha
I left home the day I turned 17, I had two classes left to graduate so I completed those while attending college. I LOVE my parents but I couldn't stay there any longer. Not once did my parents visit me at college, 3 hours away; nor have I been home more than ten time in the ensuing 20+ years. The OP situation is very similar as my parents were on a retreat when I left home but I really didn't want or need their help. Don't want to sound negative about my upbringing or anything, it was just normal for me.
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